Sorry this all took so long, been busy with school and stuffs. Anyway, we the first major plot deviation today! YAYNESS!
Evangelion Double Agenda Episode 03: Schoolyard Showdowns
Evangelion Double Agenda Episode 04: Shocking, positively shocking.
*~~~Classroom 2-A. Tokyo-3 High School~~~*
Why do I feel like…I'm being watched…
Shinji tried to shrink into his seat even more. Unfortunately, it didn't have quite the swallowing capacity the seat of the entry plug he'd been spending the better part of a week and a half in did. He had given up feigning interest in the sensei's lectures after the first day. All he ever did was drone on and on about Second Impact. As if they hadn't heard enough about it in grade school. The urge to yawn boiled up in his jaw muscles, but he held it down. Don't want to attract attention...
Are you the pilot of the robot? Y/N?
He blinked a few days. The words were on his screen but it was like his brain was working at the speed of digestion. Shinji looked around slowly, and saw a girl in the back of the class smiling and waving meekly.
Well? Are you?
Shinji typed YES
"Whaaaa?"
Shinji managed to shrink some more. Big mistake... Everyone bombarded him with questions. What's it called? What's it like inside?
"What are its ultra special super attacks?"
That one he could answer "Well...some kind of vibrating knife...and some weird ultrasonic field or something..."
Murmurs of awe and wonder spread through the class. But they missed two students. One was Toji Suzuhara, whose sister had been severely injured in the first battle of Tokyo-3. The other was Kensuke Aida, who was furiously typing every detail he gleaned from the new kid...he knew he might not be able to talk after class...
*~~~Tokyo-3 High School, outside, after class~~~*
*WHAP*
The sound of a fist introducing itself to a face echoed through the small alley behind the gym. The Third Child was thrown to the ground. The larger boy in the black tracksuit cracked his knuckles. The smaller boy with the glasses smiled in apology.
"Gomen, his sister was hurt in that incident the other day.
"Quiet Kensuke! I don't know who you are. But I just had to hit you. I wouldn't be satisfied after what happened."
Shinji rubbed his jaw "I...didn't want to...and I still don't want to..."
Toji turned back and pulled Shinji up by the collar "What the hell?"
Shinji just stared at the ground, and let Toji throw him back down. Minutes later he looked up to see the bandaged form of Rei. She told him there was an emergency call, and he made his way to headquarters as the sirens sounded.
*~~~Shelter 332 Bathroom~~~*
"You know you have to see it Toji."
"I'm not a military freak like you. I don't want to see that robot."
"You may not want to see the robot, but I know you want to see him pilot it."
"...meh"
"I'm not stupid Toji...your sister yelled at you didn't she?"
"Yeah...she couldn't believe I was mad at the pilot...after all, he did his best, and he saved all our lives...that's what she said."
"Then it's settled. We're going to go see him in action, right?"
"Fine, fine..."
The two teens snuck up to the shelter exit, Toji's face carved in stone, Kensuke's hidden behind his camera.
*~~~Downtown Tokyo-3~~~*
Shinji sat in the entry plug, as his Eva sat ready on the catapult. Misato's voice crackled at him.
Shinji, the door is going to open in a minute. Is your rifle ready?
"Hai, Misato."
Okay, the Angel is basically around the corner to your right. You know what to do.
He mumbled and nodded "Target the center...pull the switch."
Okay Shinji, GO!
The door to the elevator slid down and Shinji whipped the Eva around it, unloading piles of hot lead into the purple slithering Angel. From the hillside Kensuke cheered while Toji just watched.
Shinji you baka! You're hiding it with the smoke!
The rifle clicked to empty, and Shinji froze. Dammit, I can't see! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! The twin energy whips lashed out from the cloud, and Unit-01 barely had time to move enough to just let its rifle get shattered. And he fell to the ground, paralyzed with panic.
Toji spat "That's it?"
Kensuke "Maybe you shouldn't have punched him so hard..."
"Shut up."
The Fourth Angel advanced on the fallen Unit-01. Shinji somehow managed to jump out of its path.
Shinji, I'm sending you another rifle! Grab it!
The weapon locker opened, revealing another pallet rifle. Shinji went for it, but was grabbed by the Angel and hurled at the hill Kensuke and Toji were on.
"Ahhhhhhh!"
The Eva crashed into them, narrowly avoiding crushing the two of them. Shinji looked out the viewer.
"What the hell?"
While the command center debated what to do with the cowering teens, the Angel came up above him and he snagged the tentacles in Unit-01's purple grasp. Toji wondered why he didn't fight back.
"We're too close...he can't fight with us here!"
The entry plug spit out of the back of the Eva, and a woman's voice came over a loudspeaker. "Get inside you idiots, then Shinji can retreat!"
They climbed up and into the plug "What? Water?"
Misato ordered Shinji to retreat after he managed to throw the Angel down the hillside, fighting was out of the question with all the neural noise form the other two. But all he did was mumble to himself.
"Don't run away, don't run away, don't run away..."
The timer ran down, as the umbilical cord had been severed long ago. One minute. Shinji activated the Progressive Knife and sent the Eva skidding down the hill at the Angel. He screamed in inhuman rage as he barreled at the beast. In his fury he made a serious miscalculation, and the Angel impaled Unit-01 stomach with its tentacles. He only screamed louder, driving the blade at the Angel's core. In the command center, Maya counted down the seconds until Unit-01 lost all power.
"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0! Unit-01 Shut down!"
Hyuga reported "Target is silent! We won!"
Misato nearly slumped to her knees "That baka..."
*~~~Three days later, Tokyo-3 High School~~~*
"Three days..."
"Since we got majorly chewed out? Even Hikari was ready to hit you."
"Three days since the new kid vanished."
"Maybe you should have apologized then and there."
"They didn't really give us a chance. Those guys in suits dragged us off and debriefed us, remember?"
"Oh right..." Aida dug around in his backpack and wrote something down "Here's his phone number...call him if you're so worried."
Minutes later, in the lobby Toji was losing a staring contest with a payphone. He dialed half the number...and hung up again. The boy sighed and went back to class. Over the phone just won't do it...
*~~~END Episode 03~~~*
*~~~Episode 04- Shocking, positively shocking.~~~*
*~~~Katsuragi/Ikari Residence~~~*
Shinji lay staring at a somewhat more familiar ceiling, remembering the last battle. He felt good that he was able to protect them...but then Misato hadn't been allowed to not chew him out for not following orders. He rolled over and saw his SDAT lying on the desk, next to it was the box that had arrived from his uncle. There was a Playstation 4 in it, his uncle had dug it out of the garage and shipped it to him. Misato was off at work, so Shinji decided he'd hook it up. Sometime later he was busy playing an older game from not long after Second Impact, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. He got as far as thwarting the Angel assassin before the doorbell rang. He opened it to find Tokyo-3's answer to Bill and Ted, Kensuke and Toji.
"Ummm, hi...what can I do for you two?"
Toji gulped "I came to...apologize."
"For what?"
"For beating you up!"
Shinji blinked "Oh that...it's no big deal..."
Toji shook his head "You're wrong! I won't be satisfied unless you hit me!"
"You want me to hit you?"
Kensuke pushed up his glasses and smirked "His sister totally chewed him out...why not just hit him and get it over with."
Shinji shrugged and stared at Toji, who had steeled himself for a blow. Shinji cracked his knuckles, and stretched his arm a bit. Finally he wound up and punched Toji square across the jaw. The larger boy's head whipped around and he spat onto the ground. Rubbing his jaw, he smirked at Shinji.
"You pack a bigger punch than I thought...I guess I'll see you later..."
They started to turn and go, but Shinji stepped forward "Wait...you guys...wanna play some video games?"
Their heads whipped around in unison "Hell yeah!" and they plowed past him into the apartment and hijacked the PS4.
*~~~Chamber of the Super Bastard~~~*
Gendo Ikari adjusted his glasses, wondering why the theme to Shaft was stuck in his head "Captain Katsuragi, you have read the file provided on the Third Child?"
Misato avoided eye contact, choosing to stare at the wall just above the man's head "Yes."
"Then you are aware of his state prior to arriving in Tokyo-3?"
"Yes."
"You have also received the orders regarding the agenda correct?"
"If by that you mean the orders regarding how Shinji is to be treated, then yes."
"Then deliver your report on the current state of the Third Child."
"Sir, the Shinji I know is somewhat wittier and has more of a sense of humor than the previous reports indicated. However, I have worries that he has difficulties making friends and interacting on a social level. Especially since the last battle, he's refused to leave his room, and I think he might run away. I'm no psychologist, but I almost think he's afraid of people. Well...more like afraid of getting close."
"Understood. What efforts are you going to make to rectify this situation?"
"I'm...not sure. As I stated, I'm no psychologist, so I may just seek a professional's advice."
"Captain, remember that the Third must not be aware of any manipulations."
"I know, I didn't mean send Shinji to a shrink, I meant to talk to one myself and apply the advice indirectly."
"I see. You are dismissed Katsuragi, I expect weekly status reports, and immediate notification of any major changes."
"Yes sir"
"And tell Rei she can come in."
The Captain stepped out and was replaced by the young blue-haired girl, now free of bandages. "What is it, Commander?"
"Rei, you are aware of the Third Child?"
"Vaguely. I remember him helping me before entering Unit-01 to fight the Third Angel. I also notified him of the approach of the Fourth Angel. That has been the extent of my contact with Ikari."
"Understood. I am told you will be returning to school?"
"Hai."
"The Third Child is in your class. I know this will difficult for you Rei, but I ask you to try and befriend him."
"Why?"
"It will advance MY agenda. You must do it so that he does not suspect anything. If he gets a hint of my involvement he may shut himself out from you, that is unacceptable."
"Is this an order, or a request?"
"It is a request Rei, if you do not want to talk to the Third, you do not have to."
"I will speak with him. I have been curious about his actions towards me."
"Very well Rei, dismissed."
The girl stepped out. Gendo assumed his Pose, and chuckled slightly. SEELE, you are all fools...especially you, Chairman Keel...
*~~~SEELE Chambers~~~*
Monolith 01 appeared and spoke. "All is proceeding as planned."
03- The Third and Fourth have been slain, as is told in the scrolls.
05- The Fifth will come soon, it too must be slain.
06- Only when Third Impact is...
01- Silence fool! Even though everyone knows what we wanted we have to act like they don't!
06- Oh crap, I forgot that part!
02- Honestly 06, did you skip that memory upgrade again?
06- Quiet you!
03- Well...all the budgets are set, instrumentality is on schedule...what now?
04- We could play some Taboo!
05- Oooh Taboo! I'll go first...let's see...detestable...vexing...cursed...
07- The blind fools in the industries!
08- Mexico!
05- Bilious...repugnant...vile
02- HA! You said Vile!
05- DAMMIT!
04- What was that one?
05- Toxic Waste
*~~~Chamber of the Super Bastard~~~*
Gendo watched SEELE bicker and play games. "I pay 42,000 yen a month for this?"
*~~~Streets of Tokyo-3~~~*
Small blue lights went off along the roads connecting a certain Geofront gate to a certain apartment complex. The driver of a blue sports car never saw them except in blurs. She didn't even know that they warned everyone that she was coming. And she'd laugh if she did find out. However, Misato Katsuragi was talking to herself, and driving even more dangerously than usual.
"What the hell is with the Commander? He wants nothing to do with his son in person, but demands constant reports on his well being...if he abandoned him why would he care now. Must be for his own selfish reasons. *sigh* And what's with all the psychobabble? It's like I have to be his commanding officer...therapist...MOTHER...God I do not get paid enough for this!"
At a speed of approximately R12 [A/N- See the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 34, for a discussion on velocity measurements in R base] the sports car spun into an extra wide parking spot. Getting out she saw the light on in her living room. Well, at least he left his room...
*~~~Katsuragi/Ikari Residence~~~*
The three boys failed to notice the slight tremor as the Captain's jaw hit the ground at the sight of Shinji socializing. Well, not just socializing, but apparently beating the tar out the two in some sort of arcade style flight game.
"Shinji!"
The boy gulped and tuned "Oh! Misato-san! You're home early!"
"You...have friends over...are you okay?"
"I'm fine...Toji and Kensuke just came over to apologize and I invited them in...gomen."
A giant smile grew on Misato's face, matching the ones on the stooges for being in the presence of such a babe "It's no big deal Shinji! I was beginning to worry about you! I'm gonna take a shower, why don't you order some take out for everyone?"
"Ahh...sure thing Misato."
Hearts swam through the eyes of the stooges. Kensuke hissed "Sssssshinji!"
"Errr, what?"
Toji roared, just under a volume that could be heard in the shower "You never told us you lived with that righteous babe!"
"Yeah man, that's almost as good as living with your very own catgirl!"
Shinji shook his head as a cat-eared Misato danced before his mind's eye "Catgirl? what have you...ugh never mind. It's not that big a deal...she volunteered!"
Toji shook his head "Dude, you sooooo don't get it!"
"It's not like she's attracted to me or anything! She's gotta be at least twice my age!"
Kensuke put his hand to his forehead "You have any idea how many guys would kill to be living with an 'older woman'?"
"Ummm...how many"
"ALL OF THEM BAKA!"
Shinji chose to give up that battle, and asked them what they wanted to eat, and ordered a load of Chinese food. It came about twenty minutes later, just as Misato entered the kitchen...dressed like it was morning. This caused nosebleeds to erupt from the stooges and roll of the eyes from the young Ikari. They dug in and about an hour later, they waved the other two home. Misato cracked a beer (her fifth of the evening) and relaxed on the couch.
"Well, they don't seem so bad do they?"
"I guess not..."
She smirked "Ah, cheer up Shinji! You made some friends!"
He smiled a little "Yeah...I did didn't I?"
"Yep. I guess I was worried for nothing."
"Huh?"
"You were in your room for three days! I was worried you would run off!"
"Oh! Gomen! I was...sleeping..."
"SLEEPING? You're worse than me!"
"Hey that's not fair! You don't have to pilot Eva!"
Her left eyebrow rose "Oh? Is that why?"
"I think it has something to do with it, I was really tired, but just mentally...maybe because I had to think around those two?"
"Mmmm, maybe, I'll ask Ritsuko about it later...but in the meantime you ought to get some NORMAL sleep, I'm throwing you back into school tomorrow!"
"Ugh...I'm just glad I get breaks for Eva..."
Shinji found his face trapped between the Captain's breasts. She had trapped him in a Katsuragi-Brand bear hug. The effect wasn't lost on the young boy. Maybe Toji was right...
"I'm really proud of you Shinji...I wish we didn't have to force you into the Eva...I really do...but there's no other way..."
Was she crying? Shinji could swear she was crying. He broke out of her hug gently.
"Thanks Misato...I'll try not to worry you too much...you don't need the stress."
She winked at him "You're such a sweet boy...you'll probably have a girlfriend within a week!"
He scratched the back of his head "Ahh...I think I'll be going to bed now." And he ran off and closed his door.
Misato rubbed a tear from her cheek "Hm? Did I touch a nerve? I guess I can ask him later...I can't believe I started crying...that's not like me at all..."
She sighed and went to bed "Ah well...at least there's something of a backbone in there...he didn't melt when I hugged him...heh, heh, heh"
her door slammed, followed by chuckles and beer cans opening.
*~~~END Episode 4~~~*
*~~~Double Agenda Omake 03~~~*
Shinji, Kensuke and Toji were sucked into their three-way "Robotech: Into the Storm" match when Misato slid the door open. Her ears perked up and she could only say one thing at the sight.
"Miao!"
All three of them turned to look, thinking a cat had gotten in. They saw the purple haired major with cat ears poking from her hair and promptly fainted from massive nasal blood loss. Misato laughed and took the ears off.
"I'll have to thank Hyuga for that idea..."
*~~~Omake 03, END!~~~*
Wait, a new feature today! Oh my Goddess, look out, it's coming right for us!
3...
2...
1...
KA-BOOM!
*~~~Naze Nani Double Agenda!~~~*
A wooden fence with Usagi Misato and Nice Lady Rei flickers into existence.
Misato: Hello everybody! And welcome to the very first Naze Nani Double Agenda!
Rei: Why are we doing this again Captain?
Misato: Because the author watches too much Nadesico!
Rei: I see. We are here today to explain some of the secrets of this story, Double Agenda.
Misato: Like, why is it called Double Agenda and not something else?
Rei: Didn't you see the Episode 00 Captain? It appears Commander Ikari is not happy with what SEELE wants.
Misato: Is anyone?
Rei: SEELE is.
Misato: Oh I see...then why was SEELE playing Taboo?
Rei: The author was ripping off the flash movie 'Shadow Government Puppet Show' which ripped off a lot of things, but mainly the Gazel Ministry of the pre-Second Impact video game Xenogears.
Misato: Rei, what are you talking about?
Rei (narrows her eyes): I am answering the question you asked Captain.
Misato (rubbing the back of her head and laughing): Oh right...hey Rei, do you know what the Commander's other Agenda is?
Rei: Yes.
Misato: Can you tell us?
Rei: No.
Misato (pouting): Why not?
Rei: Because the author isn't sure what it is yet.
Misato (blinks a few times): That doesn't make sense.
Rei: Remember what series we come from.
Misato: Oh right! hah, one final thing before we sign off for today, Rei, please read off the list.
Rei: Hai, this is the list of possible pairing for this story- Shinji/Asuka, Shinji/Maya, Shinji/Misato, Toji/Hikari, Toji/Kensu...
Misato (doubled over in laughter): Hahaha! I can't believe you read that far! Don't worry everyone, that last one IS a joke!
Rei: They seem right for each other...
At that moment the possessed Unit-03 crashes it's foot onto the stage, with an enraged Toji booming from the loud speakers.
Toji: NO WE DON'T I'M NOT INTO THAT CRAP!
Unit-03 picked up the two females King-Kong style and carried them off.
*~~~End Naze Nani Double Agenda~~~*
Yes. I am a whore. This is what happens when you mix me, Nadesico, and boredom. COWER YOU FOOLISH MORTALS...but not until after you review. ^_^