A/N: A new chapter to start off the week! And now we see John interacting with Emily... though it's really just the start. Let me know your thoughts! We still have quite a way to go here. Thanks for reading, in special to everyone who has reviewed so far!

Chapter Four

He shifted in his seat, quite uncertain of how things would go. Millions of thoughts occupied his mind, none of which was very inviting at the moment. He was suddenly doubting himself and the whole situation. This would be their first time back at the orphanage, and hopefully the last time before they could take Emily home. And he felt so nervous at the prospect.

"Hey," Anna called to him, her head leaving his shoulder to properly look into his eyes. He must have been shifting too much and woke her, as she usually slept through the train journey to London. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head immediately. "Nothing. Everything's fine."

"No. Tell me," her hand wrapped around his, and John was thankful they had a little privacy as the train wasn't too crowded. "You're having doubts about this, haven't you?"

John smiled inwardly. Of course she would know even before he spoke.

He sighed. "Not doubts. I'm just… worrying. Brooding. You know me."

Anna allowed herself to smile. "I do. But John, talk to me. You've been so accepting, I never thought you might not want Emily-"

"What?" John asked her. "Is that what you think? Anna, the moment I saw you with Emily I knew that was the right choice. That's not… She's a lovely little girl, but I… she doesn't really know me. And I'm not sure… I'm not sure she'll like me."

It seemed silly, saying it out loud, but he couldn't help how he felt. He had only been with the child for a few minutes, and she had remained quiet throughout the exchange, clearly much more taken with Anna – not that he was surprised. And now that this could be the confirmation that she would go with them in the near future, he grew anxious. While he wished to be a father – and how he wished it – it was completely different if the child was a baby. He would have to earn this child's trust and love – and he worried he wasn't capable of it.

"That's what you're worried about?" Anna asked him, a soft smile on her face. She shook her head in disapproval. "You and your silly notions. She'll love you. I've no doubt that she will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I love you," she said quietly, the words slow, and he would never tire of hearing them, "and it's the easiest thing in the world."

While her words soothed him, it was soon clear that Emily was indeed a very shy child. He could relate; he had been a quiet child too, according to his late mother, though he was prone to several moments of mischief. Still, today, Emily had eyed him with more interest and curiosity, and he did get her to talk about her favourite character, Peter Rabbit. Her eyes fixed on his cane after a moment, even with Anna asking her about her drawing, and he braced himself for the questions that would surely come.

Sister Joan had allowed them to talk to her and tell her about the adoption, considering that they were finally approved and they only needed to wait until it was finally legal and they would be able to take her home. This was something neither of them had expected – it was going faster than they initially thought it would, but he definitely wouldn't complain. They were caught by surprise with the fact that they could break the news to the little girl, and he felt anxious about her reaction – he let Anna do most of the talking and try to approach the idea, but as they talked to little Emily under the watchful eye of Sister Joan, it seemed that the child was set on asking about his leg.

"Why do you have that?" Emily asked at last.

"To help me walk," he replied, as simply as he could.

"Does your leg hurt?" she asked.

He felt Anna's eyes on him. "A little, sometimes. Not every day."

"Mine too," she said quietly, holding her rag doll tight. Anna's hand smoothed the little girl's hair lovingly. "Molly's leg hurts too. See?"

She showed him the doll, and he saw a cloth around the leg. It was a heart-breaking sight, Emily clutching the doll and her big wide eyes expecting some recognition from him.

"We can try to make her better," he managed to say, a tight smile on his face as he took in Emily's innocent, interested look, and Anna's teary eyes. "Right, Anna?"

Emily turned to look at her. Anna immediately nodded. "Of course."

Emily smiled. "Molly would like that a lot!"

Her newfound excited voice made Anna laugh and he chuckled too, not quite used to this kind of excitement yet – but he found that he loved it. Emily was now adjusting the doll's bright red hair, and Anna had a lovely smile on her face.

"What else would Molly like?" Anna asked.

Emily bit her lip, unsure of what to say, and John found himself holding a breath for her answer.

"A bunny," she said, her eyes full of mischief as she looked at Anna's dress. "Like Peter."

Anna pretended to think about it, then laughed. "We can arrange that. Anything else?"

This time, Emily focused on the doll again, and answered quickly. "A mummy and a daddy."

Anna blinked heavily once, twice, and he knew she was having some trouble with her emotions at the moment. Emily's words were a surprise, definitely, but now he supposed it wasn't really. He briefly wondered how many children she knew that went with their new parents never to be seen again, and he tried not to think of the disappointment she might have felt at not being the chosen one. He allowed himself a smile at that notion – they never really chose her. It simply had to be her.

"Emily," he started, as the girl was still interested in the doll. "Anna and I would like to know… would you like to come live with us, in our home?"

Emily suddenly looked at him with wide eyes. "Live with you?"

"What John is saying is that," Anna took a deep breath. "We want you to be our daughter. We want to be your mummy and daddy."

"You want to be my mummy?" she asked her in a loud voice, and Sister Joan turned from her desk to look at them.

"I do. I want that very much," Anna's voice cracked a little. "Do you want me to be your mummy?"

"Yes," Emily replied tearfully, reaching for Anna, who took her into her arms instantly.

They looked the perfect picture there, with Emily cradled in Anna's lap as Anna kissed her hair softly. One could not say they were not mother and daughter – they resembled each other more than just a little, and John felt immensely happy in this moment. It might not be what they had originally envisioned, it might not be ideal, but for now, to him, it had never been more perfect.

And when Anna's hand searched for his, the little girl still on her lap, he felt for the first time that their little family of two had just got bigger.

They had just arrived at the Abbey the next morning and Mrs Hughes spotted them in the corridor, taking their coats off. They both greeted her, and John sent her a look before walking ahead, straight to the servants' hall. They arrived early purposefully, and Anna grinned at him before looking at Mrs Hughes with a smile.

"How did it go, in London?" the housekeeper asked with interest, and Anna's smile grew brighter.

"It went very well," Anna said. "Perhaps we could speak privately?"

Mrs Hughes nodded promptly, leading Anna to her pantry. The housekeeper had been nothing but supportive in the last few weeks since they told her and Mr Carson of their intention to adopt Emily. While Mr Carson was uneasy at the prospect of losing another maid, Mrs Hughes looked truly happy with the news, even though it would mean that Anna would soon leave.

"We've been approved," Anna said as soon as Mrs Hughes closed the door. "They think we should be able to take her in two weeks, maybe even less."

"Oh, Anna, that's marvellous news!" Mrs Hughes exclaimed, a happy smile crossing her features. "So we'll soon meet this young lady. Does she know yet?"

Anna nodded. "We were able to tell her yesterday. She was… you should have seen her little face. She's lovely. We're so happy about this. Mr Bates wants to buy her some things – a few toys and then we should decorate her bedroom soon, to leave it ready for when we get the news."

"That's splendid, Anna," Mrs Hughes said, touching Anna's shoulder softly. "If there's anyone who deserve it, it's the two of you."

"Thank you," Anna said with a teary smile. "I just can't believe this is happening. It might not be what we planned and dreamed of but… I feel like she's everything I've ever wanted."

Mrs Hughes smiled. "I'm sure she is. I can't wait to meet her. You'll change this little girl's life."

Anna shook her head instantly. "No, Mrs Hughes. She's changing ours."

Anna glared at John as they pushed the old cabinet out of the way. He really didn't have to help. She could very well do this on her own, but he wouldn't let her. He purposefully ignored her stare, and looked into the now fairly empty room. Their extra bedroom was small, but it would fit its purpose, she was sure. It could be lovely for a little girl, and they would make it work. The single bed was in good conditions still but she thought it could use some paint in it – so could the cabinet and the small wardrobe. They would work something out.

They had painted the room in white when they first painted the house, and it was still very good. But it was clear that the bedroom could use some light in it – it was hardly perfect for a child.

She sighed, placing her hands on her waist and thinking about what to do here. Perhaps a friendly painting. She didn't really know what Emily liked, but she could try to guess, she supposed. When she looked at John, she found him staring at her.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. You look beautiful," John said softly, in a way that made her insides melt.

"Oh, please. I'm sure I look a picture," she laughed, thinking of her dishevelled hair after such a long day at work, but John just rolled his eyes. She was now training a new lady's maid, a Miss Wilson, and Lady Mary was giving her a bit of a hard time. "I think we should paint the furniture. They are still very good, but a new painting would give them some new life."

"I agree," John said. "Maybe the walls could do with some colour. Maybe something sunny, like… yellow, or pink. A little girl should have a colourful room. What do you think?"

Anna felt the smile on her face before she could even speak. "I think that's a lovely idea."

"I need to go to the village tomorrow for his lordship," John sighed. "Do you think you can spare some time and come too? We could take a look at the toy shop then and get something."

"I do have some things to do for Lady Mary as well, so I suppose I can go too."

John nodded. "I do feel like she should choose, but she can't have many possessions there and I want her to feel welcome here," he reasoned, and Anna's heart burst with love for this man. "What is it?"

Anna pursed her lips but her smile couldn't be contained. "I'm just thinking of what a great father you'll be to Emily."

John shook his head slowly. "I hope you're right."

"Have I ever been wrong?" she teased him, and let out a yelp when she felt his arms under her, lifting her to his chest. "John, your leg!"

"It's fine," he said before capturing her lips in a kiss, just as she tried to regain some balance by holding his neck.

"What has got into you?" she laughed.

"You," he replied. "You'll be the best mother. And I'm so lucky to be the one to share this with you."

She shook her head slightly. "There could never be anyone else but you."

She kissed him then, letting her hand travel from his neck to his jaw, her mind filled with tasks and the difficulties that would surely be ahead of them, but in that moment she had never felt so happy.

"Take me to bed," she pleaded as they pulled away, and John merely smirked.

"Certainly, my darling."