Flirting with Danger part 4
It was just over twenty very long minutes since the collapse when the rescuers finally reached Roy. The thing that saved him was his broken air mask lying nearby, leaking just enough oxygen to keep his lungs from shutting down, to keep his brain functioning.
Roy awoke with surprise that he was still alive. He recognized the smells first – plastic tubing and oxygen, antiseptic cleaners…Rampart. Keeping his eyes closed, he did a quick mental run through. 'I can think… no obvious brain damage. I can smell, I can hear machines…heart monitor, O2 pump…I feel bandages on my shoulder, I can feel my arms and hands…and, thank God! I can feel my legs and feet. Though maybe I don't really want to,' he added, as his awareness of pain increased with his mental alertness. He tried to shift his weight, but very quickly realized that was a bad move. He groaned involuntarily, and heard several people move closer.
"How ya feelin', buddy?" John.
"Well, Roy, you sure gave us quite the scare." Dixie.
"Roy, open your eyes." Dr Early, wanting to check his pupil reaction.
He opened his eyes, and the light stung so sharply that he quickly shut them again. Dr Early gently chided, "You'll have to do better than that. Come on now, Roy."
He groaned again. 'Leave me alone. You're asking too much.' As if he had spoken aloud, Early replied, "Roy, I need to see your eyes, you know that." He opened his eyes again, tentatively.
"Atta boy!" 'John, enough.'
He took a deep breath and was stopped by the pain and sudden need to cough…each spasm tore through his lungs like knives ripping through the damaged tissues, he could feel each rib individually, his shoulder was aflame, his abdomen convulsed, his leg erupted in agony…he knew that all his muscles were attached together because everything hurt, everywhere.
"Ah, ah, ah!" He couldn't even speak, just gasp.
"Take it easy, Roy. Now that you've regained consciousness, we can start taking care of your pain better," Dr Early reassured him. 'I prefer unconsciousness.' Again it was like Early could read his mind. "Of course, you probably don't feel like you want to be conscious right now, but there's someone here who has been waiting to see you."
Roy's battered heart leapt. Joanne. His sweetheart. His wife. Then, in a moment of panic, he thought, 'What if it's not? I was so cold to her before I left. God, what if it's Susan? What will I do?' He rasped out, "Who?..." and the others looked at him, confused. Who would he be expecting, if not his wife?
"Maybe his mind got affected, doc?" 'Trust John to think that.'
"I'm going to let her in, she's been waiting long enough," said Dixie. She went outside for a moment, and then came back with Joanne. Roy visibly relaxed, and when she smiled at him, he was able to give her a small answering smile. Her eyes always became more green when she was emotional, but he had never seen them this intense. Ah, what had he done to this lovely, sweet woman?
"Oh, Roy, thank God you're all right."
He grinned as much as he could through his discomfort. That was a firefighter's wife speaking; if you were alive, you were all right. She blinked back her tears, so relieved to finally see him.
He was in the hospital over two weeks, a record even for him. Without telling Dixie anything, he asked if visitors could be restricted to family and Station 51 only. The nice thing about Dixie was that she didn't ask questions. She seemed to know instinctively when she wouldn't get answers, and didn't press. Although she didn't really think it was necessary, she honoured his request by putting a notice in his file at admissions. If anyone else, say Susan, wanted to come by his room that should block them. He hoped.
It was necessary for his peace of mind and healing - after what happened at the park, he didn't trust that Susan wouldn't just show up at the hospital, even when his family was there. And, worst case scenario, what if Chet or one of the other guys was there visiting when she came by? Then the proverbial excrement would hit the ventilator.
Fortunately, Susan didn't show up, and he didn't ask if she'd been looking for him. That last time, when she had offered him…everything he'd wanted...and it had made him physically ill, that was a turning point for him. She still crossed his mind many times each day, but with the pain and discomfort he was experiencing it wasn't like he was lingering on lustful thoughts. Joanne spent the majority of her days by his bedside – bringing him homemade food, distracting him, and caring for him. She was so nice, and kind, and sweet. She loved him, and had done so since they were kids. How could he have forgotten?
When he was finally discharged he had a cane and a walking cast, and was scheduled for physiotherapy on both his shoulder and his right leg. He had to keep his shoulder out of use by keeping it in a sling, but the physiotherapy had to start as soon as possible so he would regain mobility in the joint. It was a delicate dance of healing, and he was going to be off for awhile, recovering.
The Sunday after he came home, Joanne said that she wanted to attend church. He knew that she was feeling so thankful he was home that she needed to go to a service as part of her emotional healing. He decided to go with her. It would be easier for her to bring the kids that way, and he felt some vague need to go too.
As they walked into the church, Roy leaning on his cane, his bad arm held stiffly at his side, he saw the looks of commiseration from some of people there, the curiosity from others. Joanne knew these people better than he did. Several women came up to her and said things like "So glad for you and your family that he's all right," "We've been praying for you, dear."
She thanked them graciously, and sat down with the children in a pew. He sat on the end, where he could stick his sore leg into the aisle and prop it up slightly on his cane. One of the ushers came up to him and said, "Don't worry about getting up and down, Mr DeSoto. We'll work around you. And you don't have to stand for the hymns if you don't feel up to it." He nodded, not sure if he was grateful or irritated by the man's solicitude.
"Are we faithful?" intoned the minister from the pulpit. "Do we remain true to the promises we have made to God and to each other? When we give our word, can others trust that we mean what we say? Will we withstand the temptation to do what is easy instead what is right? Let us be as was Joseph in Egypt. He was a young man with great talent and ability, beloved of his father, sold into slavery by jealous brothers.
"Still, he was faithful to his God and what he knew to be right. He rose to a position of trust in his master's house, overseeing the whole household. He was young, strong, intelligent, and handsome. Despite being a slave, he had it all. His master's wife thought so, and she desired him greatly. Let us read in Genesis, chapter 39, beginning at verse 7: And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said: 'Lie with me.'" Roy began to squirm in his seat. Joanne looked over at him in concern, and he just grimaced and fidgeted as if it were his injuries paining him.
The minister continued, "'But he refused, and said unto his master's wife: 'Behold, my master, having me, knoweth not what is in the house, and he hath put all that he hath into my hand; he is not greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?'"
"Here is the righteous man – when faced with temptation, he thinks of his God." The minister continued, "Let us read on, in verse 10: 'And it came to pass, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.'
Imagine, you have great responsibility, and every single day you are being tempted, tempted…" He looked out over the congregation. "It may not be a beautiful woman pleading with you to lie with her, but we are surrounded every day by temptations just as strong, trying to take us away from being faithful to our God."
Roy was now so uncomfortable from what he was hearing from the pulpit that if he could have run out of the church he would have. 'I can use the excuse that my leg is paining me – which is true. Could someone have set me up?' he thought. He looked around the congregation, wondering if there was someone there who had seen him with Susan and somehow told the minister he was going to be there that day. He knew that was impossible, as he and Joanne had only decided to attend that morning, but it felt like a conspiracy.
The minister began his conclusion, "Everyone here has made promises, and God is witness to them – are we keeping those promises despite temptations? If you are having difficulty with things that are tempting you away from God, then turn away from them now." Roy didn't catch the rest of the sermon, because he was distracted by the way his heart hurt, and his mind was whirling with the realization that never once while he was with Susan had he thought about the promises he had made to Joanne before God on their wedding day.
After the service, he was one of the last ones out of the church. Again, his bad leg made a good excuse. Joanne was in the parking lot talking with some friends, and the minister was turning to go back into the church when Roy reached out to shake his hand. "I want to thank you for your message, Reverend."
The other man looked at him closely. "Roy DeSoto, isn't it?" Roy nodded. "It's very good to see you here today. I understand you've been through a rough time lately."
Without warning, Roy was shocked to feel his eyes stinging with emotion. He blinked, and didn't know how to respond. "Uh, yeah…"
The perception of the minister was acute. "Would you like to drop by my office sometime and have a chat? Just a get to know you type thing."
Roy was surprised to find himself nodding. "I'd like that."
"When are you free? I've got some time tomorrow afternoon, if you're available."
"That would be fine."
"Great. I'll see you then. Enjoy the rest of your day."
"Thanks. You too."
Joanne wasn't really surprised when Roy told her that he was going to be meeting with the minister on the following afternoon. "I think it might be good for you, Roy. Sometimes talking to someone who doesn't know you very well can help you get a new perspective on things."
Roy tilted his head slightly and looked at his wife. "You think I might need a new perspective?"
"I'm just saying that sometimes it can be useful." She came and sat down beside him. "You really have been through a lot lately, and I can see you are having a bit of trouble getting back on your feet…" he grinned and raised an eyebrow at her, while raising his cane slightly. She gave a light laugh, "You know that's not what I mean." She sighed. "Something's changed, Roy. And I don't know what it is or how to change it back. Maybe it's a good thing, and maybe it's not. Anyway, I just feel it would be good for you to talk to someone who's not a doctor or a fireman."
"New perspective," he repeated. She nodded, and patted his knee, as she rose to go back and finish preparing their meal.