The limo driver kept stealing looks in the rearview mirror the whole trip. When they arrived at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel and stepped onto the pavement, the paparazzi actually stopped shooting for a few seconds. Finally, the concierge manning the door did a double-take, and she could have sworn he palmed a quick shot from a whiskey flask as they approached.
It was therefore Janet Van Dyne's personal opinion that her choice of company would make this evening memorable, if nothing else.
The smug millionaire and her robot companion passed through the hotel lobby. Every eye was upon them, from the bellhops to the security personnel, the latter of which made a big deal of holding a hand to their earpieces and whispering frantically. Good luck, boys. Your bosses won't have any better clue how to handle this than you do.
They rode the lift up alone, the elevator girl having fled at the sight of the six-foot tall robot like she was afraid he might eat her. Janet had to hold in her laughter until the doors closed. After catching her breath, she fussed about straightening Ultron-5's tie, glancing up at him coquettishly. "You ready to meet some of the most obscenely entitled moneybags in the whole country?"
"I am fully prepared to be at your disposal," he responded in that slightly echoing monotone. "This mission shall go according to plan."
"Oh, Ulfie, try to lighten up!" Janet gave a small pout. "Forget about making up for anything you did or didn't do. I make fun wherever I go! You should relish the opportunity to be with me."
He continued staring straight ahead, but his eyes seemed to burn a little brighter. "I will do as you say."
"Perfect," the eager socialite declared, stepping back to admire her handiwork. "Okay, we're almost there. Whatever happens, just act normal and let me do the explaining." Then a wicked flash of inspiration struck, causing her face to light up with mischief. "You know what, on second thought…"
Twenty seconds later, the elevator arrived at the appointed floor. At this stage twenty armed security personnel in tuxes leveled firearms of all shapes and sizes at the doors. The gleaming portals slid apart, revealing the sight of Janet Van Dyne hanging limply in the crook of the robot's arm, head thrown back, eyes closed and one arm draped over her brow in an exaggerated manner. The sound of safety catches being clicked off was heard. Dozens of small red dots now blossomed on that shiny metal head.
Before any of the guards could take further action Ultron-5 declared, "Take me to your leader."
Silence greeted this proclamation.
With a huge yawn, Janet came upright, blinking sleepily. "Oh, we're here. Thanks, Ulfie!" She then looked over and pretended to be confused by all the gun barrels aimed their way. "Ummm, hi? Look, we're not gatecrashers, I swear, I have my invitation right here!" She reached up to remove the golden ticket from Ultron-5's breast-pocket. "Janet Van Dyne and guest. See?"
When none of them moved or even so much as blinked behind their dark sunglasses, Jan sighed and carefully withdrew an Avengers card from the sash about her waist, holding it up for all to see. "I'm the Wasp."
This proved more helpful than her real name, for several of the armed attendants put up their weapons, motioning for their allies to do the same. Apparently further confirmation came over their earpieces, for the group of men and women parted to allow them to continue. The pair swept along the red-carpeted corridor. Once out of earshot Jan snorted, muttering to herself, "Cripes. I was hoping at least one of them would get the joke. I might as well have been playing to a bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Talk about stiff!"
Apparently Ultron-5 didn't care to respond to that, and they trooped on in silence the rest of the way to the hotel's ballroom. There they met their first slightly friendly face as the maître-d manning the entryway, a lovely young lady, smiled warmly. "Welcome to the 'Dare-We-Share' Gala Event. May I see your invitation?"
The girl didn't even bat an eyelash at Ultron-5. Janet was determined to reward her for this professionalism, so she wasted no time in handing her card over. The hostess accepted it, checking the list of names and seating arrangements at her podium. With a satisfied nod she looked back up. "Miss Van Dyne and guest. Welcome! You'll be seated at Table 6 along with Mr. Silvermane, the Baroness DeCobray, Mr. McCullen, and the party from Roxxon."
"Lovely," Janet smiled back. "I'm sure we'll have plenty to talk about."
"Please enjoy your evening." The maître-d genuflected and indicated they could continue.
"Thanks, sweetie." Jan hesitated, hanging back a moment. "And hey, thanks for not making a fuss. What's your name? I'll be sure to mention what a good job you did to the hotel manager."
She grinned and tucked a strand of fiery red hair behind her ear. "Call me MJ."
"Rock on, MJ." With that the lighthearted heroine sauntered through a red velvet-draped entryway to come into the glittering Mandarin Ballroom.
Even to Janet's practiced eye, it was an incredibly ritzy turnout. The whole room was brightly-lit, filled with the noise and heat generated by its occupants. Well-to-do men in tailor-made suits clustered in groups with women in designer dresses hanging off their arms. The band was playing a swinging foxtrot, with a few of the more uninhibited guests showing off their moves on the dance floor. Huge bay windows afforded a splendid view of Central Park and the New York City skyline all lit up at night. Around the main floor, tables with white linen cloths and great floral centerpieces were being set with gold-plated cutlery by a host of unobtrusive waiters. And at the heart of this gathering, a round refreshments table was dominated by a giant ice sculpture, carved in the shape of a naked Olympian drawing back a golden spear to throw. The reason for it being there wasn't obvious to Janet, but she had to admit it looked good.
Stationed around the room, black-clad guards looked impassively on. The presence of so big a security detail was no real surprise, considering the amount of well-heeled patrons attending this fundraiser. Any joker with a mask and gun could cash in otherwise. There were enough jewels on display around these ladies' limbs to fill a wing of the Smithsonian. Rolexes and solid-gold rings flashed at every gentleman's gesture. All in all, it was quite the extravagant display of wealth.
And speaking of attention-grabbers, as soon as she and her date stepped into view, every head seemingly turned at once in their direction. All conversation stopped. Even the band slowed its tempo briefly before the conductor recovered and the paean swept smoothly back to life.
The shocked expressions were gratifying. She wondered how much came from seeing the robot in the tuxedo or her own carefully selected wardrobe. At this moment, most likely Ultron-5 was receiving the majority of the ganders. Well, that's all right, let 'em get their fill. Wearing a look of pleasant affability, she surveyed the sea of gaping faces. I wonder who'll have the guts to approach us first?
"Jan!"
A flash of long silvery hair heralded the appearance of Felicia Hardy. Wearing a slinky little black dress that drew almost as much attention as their own entrance had, the gorgeous girl slipped through the press with feline grace and sauntered boldly over. Janet smiled in true delight and threw her arms wide.
"Felicia!" The two of them embraced warmly. Upon drawing back to regard her friend, Jan squealed in delight. "Oh, you're wearing the dress I made for you!"
"Naturally," the silver fox responded back, catching up a fall of hair in one hand and gesturing down her voluptuous frame with the other. "I wanted to emphasize a few things in particular, and my relationship with you was one of them. That's a dynamite ensemble you've got there."
"What, this old thing?" she drawled unconvincingly, glancing down as if only now realizing what she had on. "I just pulled it off the rack. No big deal."
"I wasn't talking about your dress, honey." Felicia turned an intrigued expression upon Ultron-5, who stared right back. "That is the single best accessory I've ever seen! What do you call him?"
"Let me acquaint you two." Jan threw a gentile gesture between them. "Felicia Hardy, permit me to introduce Ultron-5, my escort for the evening."
The other woman laughed behind one black-gloved hand, then threw a wink up at the tall robot. "Pleased to meet you, Ultron-5."
Foreseeing a lackluster response, Janet jumped a little when Henry Pym's voice sounded right beside her. "The pleasure is all mine, Miss Hardy."
She actually looked over her shoulder, expecting to see Hank walking over to them, when it finally hit home. As Janet turned a look of complete amazement on her companion, Ultron-5 looked down at her, his expressionless face never changing. But there was definite gaiety in his voice when he spoke next. "Is everything all right, Miss Van Dyne?"
Janet recovered quickly. A raised eyebrow and a sly look were her only further reaction. "Of course, Ulfie."
Why, that big cheater. She had forgotten that the synthezoids were originally programmed to speak in Henry's voice, or at least a stiltedly cheerful approximation. For whatever reason Ulfie and his siblings had adopted a speech pattern all their own following the battle aboard Damocles. She had never thought to wonder why, but it was possibly done just to surprise people. Apparently he had deemed this a good time to do so.
"I think you make a charming couple." Felicia was clearly enjoying Janet's reaction. Then she leaned close and whispered, "What happened to Henry?"
"Got held up," Janet supplied back, letting only a trace of melancholy tinge her words. "This was the closest I could get on short notice."
Her friend gave a sympathetic look that promised they would discuss it at a later date. Sometimes having another girl to talk to really helped, and this was one lady who didn't turn her back on a gal in need. With that in mind, Jan gave a nod to indicate acceptance of the silent offer, after which both of them cranked up the charm once again.
"Well, it's great having you both here, but I've got to mingle." Felicia Hardy flashed a distinctly predatory grin as she surveyed the other guests. "This kitty's hunting for big game tonight."
"I'll catch you later, then. Who did you come with, anyway?"
"Sergei Kravinoff."
"Ouch," Janet winced. "Watch out, or he'll try to get you onto his bearskin rug."
"Duly noted." With a quick kiss to the cheek, Felicia departed back into the crowd. Her casual acceptance of Jan's companion cast a sort of magic spell, unclenching all the other partygoers from their previous inertia and allowing things to sweep back to life. There were quite a few whispered conversations now and looks thrown their way, but at least folks were moving again. What a relief the hard part's over.
"I think we're a hit, Ulfie," Jan murmured as she led him into the throngs.
"Indeed," Hank's ebullient tones floated back. Some of the photographers on hand started snapping pictures. Well, that settles it. Nothing to do now but have as much fun with this as possible.
Many of the people she approached couldn't help but staring at her dinner date, and Janet was forced to appear as if there was absolutely nothing peculiar about having a hunk of metal accompanying her. The questions came hard and fast then, for which she tried very hard to think of appropriately memorable answers.
"Jannie-pooh, darling! So lovely to see you! And what is that thing beside you, a mannequin?"
"This is Ultron-5. The two of you have something in common."
"Oh, really, what's that?"
"You both have Double D's implanted in your chests."
A scattering of polite laughter, a very nasty look, and moving on.
"Janet, whatever became of that handsome scientist you were involved with?"
"You're looking at him. He got stepped on and we had to put his brain somewhere. Try not to point, it makes his engine sputter."
Some uncertain chuckles. Everything's looking good.
"Look, everyone, Van Dyne brought entertainment! Does it have Bluetooth capabilities?"
"Sure does, Walter. In fact, I can even have him play a recording of what you said to me while we were dancing after your wedding."
"Walterrrrr…?"
"Baby, wait, it's not what you think, let me explain! Baby? Baby…!"
She was just getting into the swing of things, when a very deep, cool voice rumbled somewhere high above her head. "I see you have quite a sharp sting no matter what size you are, Miss Van Dyne."
Without looking up she responded, "Size doesn't count. Right, Mr. Fisk?"
The enormous businessman chuckled, a dark unpleasant sound. Janet turned to regard him with the sweetest, most innocent smile she could manage. No matter how friendly he might act, there was something about Wilson Fisk that made her apprehensive. And it wasn't just that the guy stood eight feet tall and weighed more than an entire high school football team. He had a reputation for shady dealings, such that more than one person had warned her never to get into bed with him, business or otherwise. Stuffed into a pure white suit that could have held five smaller men, his huge bald head gleamed with as little hair as…
"Your friend and I share a shortage of hair follicles, I see."
Her eyes flew wide at the thought that he could read her mind, and the giant actually took another step closer to loom over her. "Merely thought I would point that out before someone else made another comment at my expense," Fisk rumbled softly.
The way he smiled at her now sent shivers up the young woman's spine. Like he was considering her for his next meal. Honey-fried wasp. It took all her willpower not to back away from his abruptly intimidating presence. Jan was feeling distinctly less confident than a few seconds ago. Maybe it was her imagination, but she thought that Ultron-5 took a firmer grip on her arm.
"Otherwise they'd wind up in a landfill, is that it, Fisk?" a loud voice brayed.
Looking over, she was actually relieved at the sight of a familiar spade-shaped hairdo cutting through the crowd. With an unlit cigar clenched between his teeth and a very cross expression above his square moustache, J. Jonah Jameson had still never looked better as he drew up to hover protectively at her elbow, leveling an angry scowl at the big man.
"Jonah Jameson." Fisk puffed idly at his own Cuban cigar, causing the business end to glow a bright red. "Haven't I sued you for libel enough this year? Are you switching over to verbal slanders now?"
"Everything printed in The Daily Bugle is backed up with facts, one-hundred percent!" the newspaper owner retorted back. "Freedom of the press. You can't sick leg-breakers on the Constitution!"
"My lawyers might have something to say about that." Turning a merciless shark's eye back on Jan, Fisk inclined his head politely. "A pleasure to see you again, Miss Van Dyne."
"Later, Moby D.!" came her retort. "Leave some shrimp puffs for the rest of us."
The whale of a man didn't bother to respond as he turned away, already being approached by several other wealthy people hoping to gain his attention. For her part Janet was glad to see his back. It looked like an ice-cream truck moving away from her. That was scarier than facing Hydra. Remembering her savior, she flashed a cheerful grin at Jameson before hugging his arm. "My hero!"
"Stop that, young lady!" He shook himself free, abashed. "Maybe this will teach you some common sense."
"I doubt it. Besides, Fisk doesn't scare me. I've got a super bodyguard." She indicated proudly where Ultron-5 still stood. The robot left off staring at the departing giant and turned back to her. For his part, Jonah only grew more surly-looking upon meeting that hard red eye.
"Showboating again? This evening is supposed to be about contributing to those less fortunate than ourselves, or have you forgotten, Miss Van Dyne?"
"No, I haven't. But it's nice to have two big strong guys looking out for little ol' me." Before he could make another snarly response, she quickly launched into introductions. "Ulfie, allow me to present to you Mr. J. Jonah Jameson, owner and publisher of The Daily Bugle. And J.J. this is Ulfie, my mechanical minion!"
"Good evening, Mr. Jameson." The android held out its hand, which Jonah pointedly ignored in favor of continuing to scold Jan.
"You know in my day we didn't refer to our elders by their first names! That's not proper behavior for a woman of your high position in society!"
"Really, Jonah, leave the poor girl be," a smoothly cultivated voice chimed in. "It's precisely because of her position that she can get away with such behavior. Right, my dear?"
"Why, Justin Hammer, you sly rascal!" Janet held out a hand to him as he approached. The dapper old gentleman took it and placed a courtly kiss on her fingers, smiling in that oh-so self-assured way of his. "Where have you been keeping yourself?"
He beamed, keen gaze flicking over all of them, including Ultron-5. The robot's presence earned the lifting of one carefully trimmed eyebrow and nothing more. "Italy, most recently. I went there to consider buying an island and stayed to counsel their prime minister about his latest imbroglio. Left before things got nasty. Between you and me, I haven't seen rioting in the streets on that level since the time of fascism!"
"Careful, Justin, you're giving away your age!" Janet teased.
"And your war profiteering," Jonah accused with a very sour expression.
Hammer waved off their concerns with all the grace of his advanced years. White hair and a heavily lined face did nothing to diminish his poise. "Nonsense, friends! Tonight we lift ourselves above such minor affairs. The donations we have made to those in need around the world should assure us all a few nights free of our burdens, don't you agree?"
"Bah, I've never heard such-!" A bright flash interrupted him, and suddenly Jameson was rounding about furiously. "PARKER! You little bug, watch where you're aiming that camera!"
"Sorry, Mr. Jameson," the skinny shutterbug mumbled, hunching in on himself in an effort to disappear into the floor. Wearing an ill-fitting sportscoat ensemble that still reeked faintly of mothballs, Peter Parker looked even more awkward than usual. "Just trying to make a living."
Before his employer could continue this tirade Janet rushed to the poor kid's defense. "Hey there, Petey! Did you get my good side?"
She flashed him a quick wink and he blushed, fumbling awkwardly with his digital camera. Then Peter surprised them all by lifting his eyes to offer the beautiful damsel a sly look. "Any shot of you has to be good by definition, Miss Van Dyne."
"Well said, m'boy!" Justin Hammer laughed and gave him a hearty pat on the back. Then he caught the arm of the news mogul, who seemed inarticulate with rage at Parker's presumption. "Come, Jonah, let's leave the youngsters to their designs. I heard Norman Osborn was lurking about, we should go say hello." With that the two older men departed the scene.
Jan sidled a little closer to the photographer with an appraising eye. "I never knew you had it in you to flirt, Pete."
"One of my many hidden talents," he replied.
"Seriously, though, I liked those pics you took of the Avengers' fight outside the Latverian embassy. Where were you shooting from to get those angles?"
"Up in a skyscraper. I promised my aunt I wouldn't get too close to the action anymore." At this point his face grew very serious. "Umm, Miss Van Dyne…"
"Janet," she supplied with a friendly smile.
"Okay… Janet. Can I ask a personal question?"
Oh-hoh, what's this! Could the kid be about to step up his game? "Sure, Pete, fire away."
"Well, I was just wondering…" He swallowed, looking very anxious before finally blurting out, "Can you tell me anything about your companion's specifications?"
Janet drew back in surprise. "Excuse me?" She looked back at Ultron-5, who was now regarding Peter as well. "You want to know about Ulfie?"
"Yes!" She had never seen the normally meek young man appear so animated. His face was practically aglow with a zeal that reminded her of Hank in his more tech-happy moments. This made her heart clench so that she barely heard his next words. "I recognize it from a few months ago, that's one of the robots that held off the Kang invasion! Is the design Dr. Pym's, or did he base it off earlier works, like the original Human Torch robot, or even the old WWII Sleepers? Was it made with help from Tony Stark? Does it have an internal power source or does it require charging? And what's its output transformer load loss? Also…"
"Peter!" She held up a hand, and his interrogation cut off so suddenly it left him somewhat breathless. Having collected herself, she stepped back and patted Ulfie's shoulder. "I'm sorry, but you should know I can't reveal any information like that. It happens to be Hank's intellectual property, he'd be devastated if it got out. You understand?"
"Oh." He seemed to consider this, tapping his camera pensively. "Of course. I'm sorry, please forgive me, I didn't mean to be a pest. It's just… I was a huge mechanical engineering buff since middle school! Lately I've switched over to gene research and biochemistry, but that old machine bug sometimes bites me." The younger man shuffled his cheap dress shoes and looked down at them in chagrin. "I'm really sorry, Miss Van Dyne."
He actually managed to make pitiful look cute, and she couldn't help but forgive his eagerness. "Janet. And it's really all right. We don't mind, do we, Ulfie?"
Ultron-5 looked to her, then at his fan. Pete suddenly gave a little jump, like something had frightened him. There was a pause before her steel-plated subordinate responded. "As you say, Miss Van Dyne. No damage was done."
Peter was looking kind of twitchy now, so Janet decided to cut things short. "Oh, hey, the band stopped playing. I guess the mayor's getting ready to make his speech. C'mon, let's get a closer look."
She took both of her boys by an arm and steered them towards a podium erected by the windows. Most of the guests were now congregating at that spot. Sure enough their head of city government was ascending the steps to the applause of the audience. After the clapping died away he tapped the mike and spoke into it. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'm duly honored to be asked to host tonight's 'Dare-We-Share' event. And it does me proud to see that so many of New York's elite remain committed to the ideal of public charity, as cemented in our city's tradition since the times of Rockefeller and Carnegie. I am reminded of a quote by…"
"And I just lost interest." Jan gave a bored huff. Pete was dutifully snapping pictures, while Ulfie appeared ready to remain in this spot forever should she require it. That's no good, I need to find a way to shake things up a little. As the elected official continued to drone on in his prepared speech her eyes drifted around the room in search of something to do once the preliminary ego-stroking was over. Her gaze lingered on the stretch of ballroom designated the dance floor.
"Ulfie," she mused aloud, tapping a finger against her chin. "By any chance do you know how to dance the flamenco?"
His head came about to study her, then turned to follow Jan's line of sight. There was a flickering in his eyes possibly indicative of information upload, after which Ultron-5 responded, "I do now, Miss Van Dyne."
Well, there certainly were advantages to having a date with wireless network capabilities. "It's decided, then. Once the speeches are over you and I are gonna turn some heads on the dance floor!" She expected him to agree with her right away.
Instead all Janet heard was the sound of glass shattering, and screams.
The Avenger spun in the direction from which the clamor arose. She caught a fleeting glimpse of what looked like a body in purple and aquamarine colors sliding across the floor, followed by something too quick to make out emerging through the same broken window that person had come through. It then went zipping around the room trailing smoke and accompanied by maniacal laughter that cut through the din.
The intruder came to a halt, hovering in midair atop some kind of winged flying contraption. He was grinning madly, yellow eyes wide in an inhuman lime green face, sporting a medieval-looking purple hood and getup that automatically made her think it was some sort of Evil Robin Hood.
Fortunately it seemed Peter was more up to date on the roster of local villains. "The Green Goblin!" he exclaimed.
"Sorry I'm late!" the Goblin cackled. "Air traffic was brutal! Hold on, I should have my invitation somewhere…" He patted his costume's pockets, apparently coming up empty. "Must have left it in my spare trousers. Well, then…" he snickered as several armed security personnel rushed on his position, "I'll just give you this!"
His hand whipped forth, and a flurry of something bright flashed through the air. Amid shouts and screams the next thing Jan knew there was a blur from off to her right, and she found herself staring at a shiny metal fist held out in front of her nose. As she gasped in surprise, the fingers opened, revealing something that looked like a crushed black bat with sharp edges. Around her some of the crowd was crying for help with those selfsame implements stuck in their flesh. Eyes wide in astonishment, she slowly turned her head to regard Ultron-5, who simply said, "Are you all right, Miss Van Dyne?"
"Y-yeah. Thanks, Ulfie," she breathed, a bit dazed at how close she had come to being hurt or worse. Not to mention how fast he had moved. That was pretty amazing.
And speaking of amazing, it's time I got down to business myself. Quickly Janet pulled out her Avengers card and pressed the pad. "Avengers Assemble!" In moments she had tucked it away and shrunk to pint-size battle mode, wings whirring and hands enveloped in globes of bio-energy. "Ulfie, protect these people and get them out of here!" Immediately he moved to obey her. "Pete, you better get…" Glancing over, she saw the amiable youth was gone. "Uhhhh… way ahead of me, I see."
Wasp rose into the air and took a moment to assess the situation. A shootout had started between the bodyguards and their attacker. The Goblin seemed to fight with laser blasts from his fingers and those bat-boomerang things. Batarangs? For some reason she thought that sounded like copyright infringement. He had already taken down several of the gunmen without any of them managing to so much as wing him. Small wonder, that miniature sky-writer of his cornered like a dream, and it was fast too. Well, I think I've got enough information. Time to show this nobody just who he's dealing with!
As the Goblin raised another set of razor-bats, he suddenly found the flechettes blasted out of his hand. "GAH!" He nursed his smarting fingers while continuing to fly over the heads of the crowd. "Well, that was unpleasant," the psychopath mused to himself.
"It'll get a lot worse if you don't land and give up!"
He looked over to find a tiny woman in a dress flying along beside him. The Goblin threw back his head and laughed, continuing to dodge the shots being fired from the ground forces. "Oh, what's the superhero community coming to! Nothing but bug-themed heroes right and left! First the Beetle, now you? Who's next, the Cockroach Crusader?"
Beetle? Wasp risked a glance over to the first person who came crashing through the window where he still lay. Sure enough, it was someone she recognized. With a bug-eyed helmet and carapace-wings anchored to his armor, that was the Beetle, all right. But wait, wasn't he a villain? One of Spiderman's headaches, and occasionally Tony's? Why would the two criminals be fighting?
While she was distracted, the Goblin took a swipe at her. He missed owing to her inhuman reflexes, but by dodging Wasp was forced to put some distance between them, and he took good advantage of that. Reaching into a satchel that had hung unnoticed from his shoulder 'til now, he jeered, "It doesn't matter. I'm only here because a herd of fat-cats like this was too tempting to pass up! 'Those less fortunate'? They have to learn that the social ladder has gained a few more rungs, and there's a new breed on top!"
So saying, he produced what looked like a hand-sized pumpkin and lobbed it towards the crowd as they attempted to flee. "Happy Halloween, everybody!"
Wasp didn't stop to question its provenance. She charged a sting in both hands, thinking back to the times in the Avenger's training room she had taken aim at projectiles of all different shapes and sizes. The only difference now was if she missed, somebody would probably die.
And so she didn't miss. Her flash of yellow power flew straight and true, connecting with the pumpkin well away from its targets. As expected, the thing exploded with a roar, knocking several socialites off their feet but failing to do any greater injury. Wasp caught a glimpse of Ultron-5 continuing to shepherd the wealthy philanthropists towards the exits while keeping himself interposed between them and the fireworks.
"Bye, Tinkerbelle."
The heroine was already moving without bothering to look, thankful that this guy insisted on announcing his every attack. But even a warning was not enough as she glanced behind to see another pumpkin bomb arcing towards her. Too close, shooting wouldn't help, the only choice was to fly all out and hope she was fast enough not to be caught in the…
A loud buzz filled her ears as the Beetle rocketed in from the side and knocked the explosive away. It blew a second later, but he had already covered Wasp behind the shield of his large metal wings. This combined with the extra distance meant they were hit only by a shockwave, which was nothing his armor couldn't handle.
Surprised at this character's unexpected heroism, Wasp flew up to his blank faceplate. "Thanks, but don't think that means I'll go any easy on you later."
"Cool it, Mighty Mite." Beetle waved a hand as though shooing off an annoying fly. "We're on the same side here."
She crossed her arms and leveled a disbelieving look at him. "What, there a falling out in the villain community?"
"Oh, get a clue!" he snapped. "I went legit last year! Next month's the anniversary, actually."
Wasp considered this. "Okay, let's put a pin in that idea. You can have the benefit of the doubt until the Laughing Leprechaun is taken care of."
"MOVE!"
The newly-formed allies split up at his cry. A flock of razor-bats flew through the space they had previously occupied. She fired back as the Goblin went by and was elated to see her shot connect square in his solar plexus. Score one for me!
To her dismay the lunatic just winced and grinned. "That barely registered! See if you can say the same!" He then sent a sparkling bolt from his fingertip. She dodged and fired back, but this time he didn't even try to avoid it, simply laughing when the sting connected.
"Watch out, he's a lot stronger than he looks!" Beetle called, then cursed as a shot from one of the security personnel bounced off his armor. They seemed to be dividing their aim between him and the real villain. Noticing this, Wasp flew down low to where the guards had taken cover behind some overturned tables. "Don't shoot the other one!" she commanded in a loud voice.
They glanced uncertainly at one another, and the Avenger amended, "For now. Actually, you know what? You guys better get out of here. Beetle and I will take care of this bozo." When they still hesitated she added, "Otherwise you're not getting paid for tonight!"
That settled it. The dozen or so hired guns left standing began to creep towards the exit, carrying their wounded with them.
Wasp turned back to consider the problem. The guests still trying to escape the battlefield were in a panic, but it looked like Ulfie, along with the maître-d MJ and Jonah Jameson of all people, were managing to herd them along nicely. She hoped the other Avengers would get here soon.
Beetle lunged for the Goblin, who spun his ride in a circle to evade the attack and delivered a forceful chop to the other man's neck as he went by. The reformed villain wind-milled out of control, barely managing to avoid slamming into the ice sculpture. His cackling adversary followed in close pursuit. He didn't seem to be paying attention to Wasp anymore. Like he had decided she didn't pose any threat.
I can use that.
Gliding nimbly about, Green Goblin winced as another bit of stinging pain blossomed in his shoulder. He threw a contemptuous look behind him in search of the tiny foe responsible. "Oh, please, Pixy-Dust, why don't you just give it a rest! Go powder your nose or something and let the menfolk settle this dispute."
"Oh! Of all the nerve!" He jerked as another blow landed in exactly the same spot. "I knew you were a dipstick, but sexist to boot? Talk about low!"
His eyes roamed about the room in search of his elusive enemy. "Speaking of dirty pool, doll, suck on THIS!" The Goblin reached down to pluck a gas grenade from his satchel, and it was only then that he registered the sudden lack of weight on his right side.
"WHAT THE…?" Looking down, the demented genius was surprised to see his arsenal falling towards the floor, its shoulder-strap burned clean through from the Wasp's successive shots. He made a desperate grab for it, but his continuing flight had already pulled him well beyond reach. Banking back around, the Goblin was further enraged to see Beetle swoop in and grab his satchel. The crimefighter wasted no time and proceeded to fling it out the broken window. His mechanically-enhanced strength saw the bag disappear somewhere in the middle of Central Park.
"I'd tell you to powder your nose," and the Goblin glanced over to see a triumphant Wasp hovering beside his ear, "but you seem to have lost your makeup kit. What's a girl to do?"
He made an unsuccessful grab for her, and she let him have it in the face before flying out of his range giggling. Wasp then aimed at the glider in the hopes of depriving him even further. Her shot made the thing wobble, causing the Goblin to reel in his stirrups, almost losing his balance but managing to right himself in time. A blast from his gauntlets forced her to perform evasive maneuvers.
When the Goblin's cowled head came up a smoking hole had been burned in his mask. There was now also a much more vicious look on his face than before.
"Girly," the maniac rasped, "I'm going to rip you to bloody pieces!"
Beetle took this opportunity to fling a table at him, which the Goblin batted aside with a roar. A double blast from the criminal's power gloves then blew her ally through a wall.
The Green Goblin tore off in pursuit of Wasp, howling insanely.
"Please do not run," Ultron-5 corrected his striving, screaming charges. They were reacting poorly, and the recent addition of a dozen more humans with weapons didn't seem to lessen their distress. "There is no need to panic. You are safe. Please do not run."
The last of them had almost made it out. His fellow overseers, the redheaded female and the loud male, were now conducting the escapees further down the hallway. He remained at the rear to see to the final few. "There is no need to panic…"
"Girly, I'm going to rip you to bloody pieces!"
The recitation paused.
Turning his head slightly, the android observed everything that was happening. He had subtly monitored the entire battle up to this point, calculating the dangers as they were presented and judging whether or not to intervene. So far the deployment of two fighters had negated any attempts by their opponent to inflict damage upon Wasp. And judging by the enemy's current mental state, the likelihood of him doing her any harm before the Avengers arrived was highly unlikely. They would be here in under five minutes. This situation would be resolved in short order.
It did not change the fact that a threat had already been made. Suitable actions must be taken. He studied the enemy's flight. Charting the terrain. Calculating. Waiting for the precise moment.
"Please do not run. There is no need to panic."
Quick as a flash Ultron-5's cranium rotated about, and a small burst of red energy shot forth. His head came back into position without bothering to see the blast connect with its target. The whole procedure took less than a second. None of the nearby humans even noticed.
"You are safe."
Wasp fled through the air with her irate pursuer close behind. There was a certain comfort in knowing that he wasn't concentrating on any of the remaining helpless victims.
"DEAD! NOT ALIVE, BUT DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!"
On the other hand, being this nutcase's sole focus was causing the young woman to wish her friends would get here soon.
She flew low over some tables, and the Goblin smashed right on through them, apparently unaware of anything in his path. Geez, this guy was strong! Not to mention tough and batty as a belfry by now. None of her attacks fazed him at all anymore, and Beetle hadn't seen fit to rejoin the battle yet. She was on her own for the time being, against a formidable opponent only slightly slower than herself.
Wasp's heart was going fast as a hummingbird's wings as she evaded another attempt he made to grab her. She flung a storm of bio-blasts in her wake, to no effect. Further crazed imprecations fell from her pursuer's lips. The only remaining recourse was a full-power bio-beam. Problem was a shot of that power could maim or kill him. Which meant her target had to be that stupid flying doohickey of his. Much harder to hit. Can I do it without striking him too?
He was chasing her towards the center of the room now. An electrical blast coursed by her and decapitated the ice sculpture. That settles it. Okay, don't panic, you can do this. A white glow emerged around her clasped hands. Turn, aim, shoot. Turn, aim, shoot!
With a boom, the glider erupted in a red flash.
Wasp zipped out of the way, startled. Wait a minute, I hadn't even…! Her pursuer gave a yell and went flailing helplessly through the air before she could complete that thought. To her horror she realized he was headed on a direct course for the golden spear held in the statue's grip!
Everything seemed to be happening very slowly to her eyes. Janet actually stretched out an arm in a desperate attempt to save him, but there was no stopping what came next. When the tip of that ornamental lance entered the man's belly, time restarted in a shower of blood droplets that went past her face, leaving the Green Goblin hanging impaled on its length. Janet screamed once, covering her mouth with both hands.
A blur of red and blue shot through a broken window and landed on the ceiling. "Hey, gang, it's your Friendly NeighborhooOLY CRAP!"
Too stunned to speak, Janet looked up to find Spiderman hanging up above her head. The webbed avenger dropped down to land on the ice sculpture's shoulder. He crawled forward a few feet and stared at her spitted adversary for a few seconds.
"Holy… CRAP!" His head then jerked over towards Janet. "Wasp, what did you do?"
She stammered, almost in tears. "I didn't… I don't know, it must have been…!"
"AH-HAH! Spiderman! You wall-crawling menace, I always knew you were a monster!"
Both superheroes looked over to see J. Jonah Jameson storming towards them through the wreckage. He was brandishing what looked to be a chair leg in one hand like a weapon, flaring eyes fixed on the long-standing object of his venom. "So you've finally stooped to murder, have you, Webslinger? There's no wriggling your way out of it this time! The truth will finally be known! Somebody get a picture of this, where's Parker? Parker, where are you! You're never around when you're needed!"
"WHAT?" Spiderman screamed in outrage. "Hey, no way, old man! You are NOT going to pin this rap on me! I mean…!" He gesticulated futilely towards the spitted supervillain. "He was like this when I got here!"
At that point the sculpture's arm broke and the whole thing fell to earth, taking the Goblin with it. Jonah looked up from this with a livid expression. "Of all the NERVE!" the newspaper editor roared. "Caught red-handed, and you actually think that flimsy excuse will work on ME? I've never heard a more self-serving lie in my life!"
Spiderman leapt down to join them. "I'm innocent, you old bullhorn! Tell him, Wasp!"
"Jonah, it's true!" Janet had resumed human form by this point. When Jameson looked about to go after the protesting superhero she intervened between them, arms held out to her sides and face worked in frantic appeal. "Please believe me, he didn't do anything!"
"Don't try to cover for him, Miss Van Dyne!" The frenzied journalist was sweating as he sought to get around her, but she moved to block him at every turn, so that he was forced to simply wag his club over her shoulder. "Your compassion is wasted on scum like that!"
"Say WHAT? Scum like ME? I'm not the one who routinely hires supercriminals to go on rampages just to satisfy my personal grudges, am I?"
"WHY YOU-!"
"BRING IT! C'MON, BRING IT, FLAT-TOP!"
"Wow," Beetle murmured as he strolled past the arguing trio to crouch beside the fallen Goblin. He poked him experimentally. The man shuddered, at which point Beetle glanced up at Jan. "Nice work, lady. Didn't know you had it in you."
"I did no such thing!" she yelped, standing betwixt the arguing pair with a hand pressed to each of their chests. Was the Goblin actually not dead?
"That's right, it was Spiderman's doing!"
"You're a disgrace to journalists everywhere, Jameson! Beetle, what in blazes are YOU doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Spidey," the armored fighter responded nonchalantly as he rose up. "I was out patrolling and caught sight of your playmate here puttering around the city. Tried to take him on my own, but he put up more of a fight than I expected. The guy's almost as strong as you, in my professional opinion." At his feet, the Goblin coughed up blood. "Well, maybe I should say was as strong as you."
With that Janet had her fill. She shoved the two men away with all her force, causing them to stumble while at the same time cutting off any further argument. "All right, that's enough! In case you haven't noticed, that guy is still alive! But he won't be for long if we don't get him to a hospital quick! I need a volunteer!"
"Miss Van Dyne?"
Several of them gave a start as Ultron-5 came walking up. The robot stopped beside her with arms laced behind his back. His voice had reverted to that inflectionless cadence he normally used. "With your permission, I could see that the injured party receives suitable attention. I have already determined the closest medical facility, and can fly him there at once. It would be my pleasure."
"Wait a minute, I object!" Spiderman declared. He stalked forward to glare up at the much taller Ultron. "Who is this guy, anyway? I get a bad vibe just by looking at him! I should be the one who takes the Goblin out of here, I'm the fastest!"
The Beetle snorted scornfully. "Out of here? More like take him out, permanently. I know exactly how much grief this goof has caused you, Spidey. And you expect us to believe that you won't decide to take the scenic route, or that you won't accidentally let him slip when you're both fifty stories off the pavement?"
"Oh, screw you, Beetle! I have uncanny clinging abilities, he couldn't slip even if I wanted to…" The wall-crawler threw up his hands. "You know what, forget it! As far as I'm concerned, you're still a bad guy, that speech proves it, and I'm taking you down!"
"Ahem."
Now everyone turned. Standing in the open window was Iron Man, with Thor floating at his back. Behind them Captain America shared a hoverbike with Hawkeye. They all looked a bit uncertain of what to do.
The front of Stark's helmet slid open, and he regarded them with a bemused air. "I'd love to hear all the details about tonight, but I think the guy in the puddle of blood takes priority at the moment. Can I suggest we let bygones be bygones until that's taken care of?"
"Guys!" Wasp breathed gratefully. "I'm so glad you're here!"
Beetle interrupted her. "Hey, Avengers. Guess what? Wasp here gutted the Green Goblin!"
She was too tired to correct him. Instead all Jan did was mumble, "Can one of you take him to a hospital, please?"
"Aye, Wasp," Thor pronounced upon seeing her stricken face. "Your wish is good as done." The Asgardian glided in to hover over the shuddering sociopath. Exercising deceptive care he broke off both ends of the golden spear still lodged in Green Goblin's belly. With supernatural grace Thor then lifted the much smaller man in his arms and floated up. "I shall bear him to the healing house where Jane Foster currently toils. She shall see to your enemy's wellbeing."
"Thank you!" And she meant it. For all that he probably deserved it, Wasp had no desire to see the Goblin dead. With a final nod the Thunder God swept back out into the night along with her fallen foe.
Stark crossed his arms and glanced sharply between the remaining group. "Would somebody mind explaining what happened?"
Very good question, Janet pondered. How did the Goblin wind up that way? I was going to shoot, but didn't get it off in time. Can anybody tell me what…?
A flash of inspiration hit, and she rounded on Ultron-5. "Ulfie, you have recording features! Can you tell us what caused the glider to break apart?"
To her dismay he shook his head a little. "I regret to inform you that I had my back turned to the battle at that time, Miss Van Dyne. There is no visual data available of the event in question."
The disappointment this revelation engendered in her was evident for all to see. Hovering outside, Captain America glanced down towards the street far below. Faintly the sound of sirens could be heard. "The police are here," he declared. "We had better decide how we're going to deal with this situation."
Spiderman saluted smartly. "I'm out. Ol' Web-Head's taken enough flack tonight. Time to hit the hay." Before anyone could object he turned and dove out of the hotel, sending a web-line to go swinging around the side of the building until he was lost to sight.
While Jameson was demanding they chase after him, Janet sank down to sit on the floor. The smell of blood and smoke still hung heavy in the air. It turned her stomach. Desperately she wished Henry could be here right now. Even if he couldn't have helped, his presence was sorely missed.
A cold hand came down on her shoulder, and she looked up to find Ultron-5 bending solicitously over her. "Miss Van Dyne. You are not well. Would you like to leave now?"
Only Ulfie would consider that to be an option. She knew better. "I can't," Janet sighed in a defeated tone, resting her head on her upraised knees. "I have to give my report to the police about what happened."
They were all looking at her now. Oddly it was J. Jonah Jameson who spoke up, and in a gentle manner so unlike his normal gruff tones. "Listen, Janet, you've clearly been through a great deal tonight. Maybe it would be for the best if you went home and got some sleep. I'll give my account of the events along with everyone else, and this Beetle character will too if he knows what's good for him." He directed a pointed look at the only non-Avenger costumed crusader present. "Isn't that right, Abner Jenkins?"
"Oh, say it like it's a big secret or something," the inventor muttered. Then in a louder voice, "Yeah, sure, what he said. Take the night off and clear your head, kiddo, you can tell the boys in blue what you know come the morning. Who knows, the Goblin might still be alive by then?"
Hawkeye snorted. "Yeah, you care. That's so obvious."
When nobody objected, Janet looked between them, considering her options. This day certainly had been an emotional rollercoaster. Sleep might be the best thing for her. And any unanswered questions could wait until tomorrow. Okay, admittedly, I'm not putting up much of an argument against fleeing into the night. But hey, at this point what's the harm?
"Okay," she decided.
"It is settled then." A second later, she was surprised to find herself being scooped up into Ulfie's arms. There was no time to protest or explain this to her colleagues before the two of them had rocketed off.
Unbeknownst to any of them, a hidden camera continued to record everything that had taken place that evening.
To be continued…