Title:Five Stages

Pairing: Harry/Blaise, Ron/Hermione

Summary: After the death of this mother Blaise is forced to pick up the pieces of his life and makes an important ally along the way. Not DH compliant.

A word on structure: Written for the 2007 sunandsmut exchange on LJ for irisgirl. Not DH compliant and is complete (4k words). A total of 5 parts and will be updated once or twice a day until complete. The chapter titles are based off the 5 Stages of Grief.

Authors notes: Chia pets are quite strange, but that is not the point of this note. I am still here! DH was most interesting except for epilogue which I thought kind of ruined the book. I think I will finish my WIP's quite soon...I am thinking abot it! But for now, I hope you enjoy this story.

A note: I do take constructive critisism if you would like to offer some.

WARNING: There is an R/MATURE scene here. Do not read if you cannot handle it.

Stage Four: Depression

"Blaise, you have to stop drinking. What if you slip up and someone like McNair realizes you've been passing information?" Harry intended to say. Instead, he said, "Zabini, if you don't stop drinking, then I'll sell you out to Voldemort myself."

Harry pulled the bottle brandy away from Blaise. It killed Harry to see something so beautiful destroyed like this. This addiction was ridiculous.

This was the fourth meeting that Blaise had turned up drunk, and Harry had not had a good day to begin with. St. Mungos was attacked, and Ron and Hermione were both injured in the battle.

"M'not drunk!"

How could Zabini throw away his life like this? The way Blaise—Zabini, oh Blaise, was drinking a passive suicide.

"You're an idiot! You'll get both of us killed!" Harry yelled.

"I'm the idiot! I didn't even want this Potter! I never wanted to be a pawn in your little fucking game! Pawns die! People sacrifice the pawns! It's why my mother died, but Narcissa Malfoy is still alive! I am nobody and I don't want to be a somebody if it means fucking around with you people!" Blaise finished as a hint of plum crept along his skin.

Harry stared. Well, at least he was talking; Hermione had warned him the Blaise might suffer from depression, possibly appearing through rage.

"We made our choices and now we have to deal with them," Harry said, unsure of how to respond. Emotional crisis weren't really his thing.

"Really? I'm not? You're a fucking pawn as well! Can't you see the Dark Lord is as much of a master to you as he is to me? There is no such thing as free will!" Blaise spat, throwing the bottle of brandy at the wall behind Harry's head. Harry flinched as it shattered.

"I think you should calm down," Harry said. The blush over Blaise's skin was fascinating. Harry wanted nothing more than to gather Blaise in his arms and snog him, comfort him…they were far too close for Harry to be comfortable. Half-formed memories of hands and warmth flooded Harry's mine.

"Calm down! Calm down?" Blaise said hysterically, "I AM CALM!" Blaise stepped forward and attempted to punch Harry in the gut. Harry caught his arm easily and backed him up against the wall.

"You'll hurt yourself. You're mother wouldn't have wanted you dead."

Blaise's face twisted into a grimace.

"You don't know—" Blaise started. Harry cut him off with a kiss. Blaise struggled against him for a minute before responding. Harry moved down to suck on Blaise's neck before

"Pull yourself together; you're a Slytherin, for god sakes. Resourceful, remember?" Harry said into Blaise's ear. Not exactly a romantic nothing, but it was the best Harry could come up with.

"I-I'm not sure I can," Blaise said, letting his head fall forward onto Harry's shoulder. Harry stood rigidly for a moment before awkwardly putting his arms around Blaise.

"You'll find a way. And until then no drinking." Harry said. Blaise could only nod in response.

XXX

Blaise covered his eyes with his hand; the pleasure was far too much for him to have his eyes open, not that he could focus them anyway.

"Hermione said adrenaline is the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world," Harry whispered in his ear. It was horrible. He was supposed to fleeing The Order with the rest of the Death Eaters, not having it off with their leader in the woods. Blaise reached down and cupped Harry's erection through his jeans. Harry moaned and bucked his hips forward.

"I don't think she meant you should have it off with me in the middle of a raid!" Blaise said, struggling to undo Harry's belt. He settled for running his hands through Harry's hair. Harry relaxed into his touch but continued in fondle Blaise's balls.

"Mmm, hurry up!" Blaise said, trying not to moan.

"Blaise! Where are you?" Draco's voice came from the woods.

"Shit," Harry muttered as he and Blaise hastily tucked in their shirts.

"Watch the north entrance. We have a small uncovered area to the south of the forest about fifteen minutes from here. Go there," Harry said, handing him his wand.

Blaise watched as Harry ran off wondering how his life had become so complicated.

XXX

"Did you get the robes?" Draco asked Blaise. Blasie nodded in response. He hadn't quite forgiven Draco for abandoning him in the pub that fateful night. Then again, Draco had probably done the right thing and left when he saw Harry. It didn't seem likely that Harry would forgive Draco easily.

Draco suddenly grabbed his arm.

"Shit, I have to go." Blaise nodded. The Dark Lord was notoriously fickle about meeting times and gave little consideration to the schedule of others. Draco walked away exposing a bottle Firewhiskey. Blaise looked around. Nobody…it would be so easy. A sip or two and he would be out no dreams, nothing.

The bottle seemed to call to him. Beckoning him to come closer and closer….

Snap out of it! Blaise told himself sternly. He needed a distraction; perhaps he should reorganize his cupboard…again. Perhaps he should just—

It was like something out of a dream. The bottle seemed to fit perfectly into his hand. He tilted his head back not bothering to even get a glass and gulped it down. The perfect numb contentment of the first sip of alcohol.

The front door of the shared apartment swung open. Had Draco forgotten something? Blaise stared in horror as Harry Potter walked through the door.

"I suppose you'll tell me that you weren't drinking," he said. Damn that man!

"I'm not a six year old. I don't need someone else to tell me what to do."

"Fine, if you want out just say the word and I'll get you out," Harry said causally. With a start Blaise realized that he was in too deep on both sides to get out of the war cleanly. He didn't think Harry could actually kill him, but this Harry wasn't the same Harry he'd known back in school. This was in-control Harry. This Harry saved who he could calmly.

"What do you want?"

"I don't want a drunken spy," Harry said.

"No, but you don't mind a drunken lover."

Harry smiled and took a step toward him.

"You're wrong there, too."

"I'll scream rape," Blaise said. Harry's smile fell and turned to walk out the door. Blaise caught his arm.

"Look, I don't know what's happening to me. I don't think I want to know at this point, but somehow things make more sense when you're around," Blaise said. Harry nodded and took off his coat.

Blaise shuddered as Harry pushed him down on the couch and divested Blaise of his clothing. Harry slowly licked from the base to the tip dripping with pre-cum at the same time fondling the sensitive sacs with his hand. Blaise reached out to grasp Harry's cock. He was granted with a moan, but Harry pulled away from him.

"I distinctly remember banning you from alcohol. I'm afraid I'm going to have to punish you," Harry said while straddling Blaise. Blaise's eyes shot open as Harry leaned forward and kissed him. Hard. Blaise tried to maneuver himself on top by pushing Harry over.

Harry flipped Blaise over and catching his arms and pinning them under him. Blaise was effectively trapped by his own weight.

"You're a slut…you want me to punish you, don't you?" Harry said, his voice dropping to a wonderfully smooth baritone.

Blaise just moaned in response squirming as Harry pushed his legs apart and stuck one his calloused fingers into him. He allowed Blaise to adjust to the new sensation before sticking a second digit into him.

Harry groaned, Blaise was so wet and tight, he pushed a little father in reaching the sensitive gland. Blaise arched his back in response.

"H…H…Harry, please," Blaise muttered, his voice thick as though the words were getting caught in his throat. Harry stared at Blaise pleased to see a love bite already forming on his neck.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Harry whispered in his ear.

"What?"

With that Harry brought his hand down.

SMACK!

Blaise pushed his hips into the bed trying to escape the hard smacks.

"Ow! What the fuck?"

Harry bent over and began kissing the sensitive skin of his lover's thighs carefully avoiding his lover's balls.

"H-Harry, I'll do anything…fuck….pl..please," Blaise stuttered as Harry replaced his fingers with his tongue licking at his ring of tight muscles in his arse.

Harry smiled satisfied at Blaise's answer before sweeping down and swallowing Blaise's cock and using his fingers to nudge his prostrate. Blaise came instantly with a loud moan. He wasn't a very articulate lover, but Harry loved the moan that came out of those plump swollen lips.

"I think I'm going to drink everyday from now on," Blaise said when he finally caught his breath.

"You wouldn't dare," Harry said, smiling.

XXX

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