Author's Note: Finally an update! Man, I've been trying to get to this, and I haven't been able until now. Two updates instead of one to make up for the lack of thereof lately. Enjoy!^^

Disclaimer: Apply the usual here; copyright goes to Frictional Games.

IV

Tears of Blood

For the first time, I truly believed.

I have believed in God for as long as I can remember, but never so ardently like I do now. After all that had happened in the castle, after all that… there was no share of forgiveness and mercy to be shown to me. I believed God had finally come to punish me.

After fleeing Brennenburg's ruins, I returned to Altstadt, to the inn, so as to recover what few things I had left there. I was warmly greeted by the innkeeper, Herr Ackermann, and it was his daughter that took me back to my room. As I followed behind her, my insides churned and knotted: to think that I had killed a child her age… And she was beautiful; that was the worst aspect of all. Once we had reached my room, Ackermann's daughter left with a brief smile. I couldn't help but do the same.

Whilst I was packing the few clothes I had, an idea came to my head. I have to admit that if it weren't for my faith, it would've never happened and I would've run away from what had to be done. Without a doubt I thought myself insane: what would her reaction be? I was thinking of returning to Herr Zimmerman's family now that Alexander was dead and gone and present apologies that would surely fall on deaf ears, yes. Why bother? I wondered. In her eyes, I was just a murderer.

Still, I tried. I asked Herr Ackermann about this certain family, about which Ackermann spoke with heavy grief in his voice. It turns out that he and Zimmerman had been close friends until the latter's death, a fact that left me devastated. I hadn't destroyed a bond, but two. I asked for a coach to take me to Zimmerman's home but, saying that it would take too long, Ackermann volunteered to take me there. I was worried about his daughter, yet she seemed well-prepared and used to being left in charge of the inn, so I eased myself and headed to the farm with Ackermann.

It took us around thirty minutes to arrive. It was just like I had seen it last time I was there. For a moment, I thought it devoid of life, but I was proven wrong when I caught sight of Zimmerman's boys tending to the horses in the stable. Lukas and Bastian, if I remember correctly. They were both smiling whilst they chatted with each other, brushing a horse clean. I was happy to see that the events a few nights ago hadn't taken away their God-given happiness. They deserved it, especially after what I had done to them.

I told Ackermann to stop the carriage and I jumped off it, telling him he could go back to Altstadt if I took too long. With that, I approached their home. It was austere and was kept in an almost cynical sort of way, but the green plains that spread around the house were enough to prove that they had enough. I buried my neck with my scarf and was in front of the door in less than a minute. I was scared, not to mention terrified, but I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do, even if I would earn nothing more than hate.

I banged the door twice and waited to be noticed. Not a couple of seconds later, I came face to face with Zimmerman's wife, Erika. My heart skipped a beat, and I could see hers had done so too. Horror and anger invaded her features for mere instants before hesitation took over. I was silent like a tomb.

"Herr Daniel…" I didn't expect to be called that, but I made no comment; I wasn't even aware she knew my name. Erika averted her gaze, gripping the door with a tighter grip than before. "I-"

"I have just come to bid you farewell and…" I also hesitated: I had never been brave enough. Eventually, I said, "I am also here to apologize. I do not expect your forgiveness, let alone your mercy, but I am nevertheless meant to apologize."

Erika's eyes were pools of tears and wells of emotion. Never in my life had I seen a gaze as moving as hers, and I remember thinking it would haunt me for the rest of my life. She remained solemn, tears streaming down her face, and in my sorrow I knelt before her, unable to look into her eyes. I fended off my own emotion, shouting scornful and reproachful words at myself: was I trying to mend a broken heart? My words, I knew, had fallen on deaf ears, and in that moment I was seized by such regret and self-disgust that I was also moved to tears. I did not move from where I was.

But instants later, Erika's arms were around me, like the father did with the prodigal son. I cannot describe what overcame me, but I returned the gesture and offered as much consolation as I could provide.

"You're not at fault, Herr Daniel…" she whispered between sobs. How could she say that? How, when I had led her husband to his death? How, when I had given them a reason to hate me? I did not understand until she spoke again. "Hans knew Alexander von Brennenburg would… come for him."

In surprise, I withdrew and stared at her, fighting off the desire to console her and even stay there with the family. But nobody, nobody would replace Hans Zimmerman as Erika's rightful husband and their children's father. Not even me, who had the best of intentions for them. Erika took my hands in hers, and for the first time I felt the warmth of forgiveness.

"I was more afraid of seeing you than of Alexander," she said, smiling bitterly through her tears. "He was a despicable man… but I saw… I saw something different in you." I felt a knot in my throat again, but before I could say anything else, Erika's features changed. "Did you… did you kill him?" There would be no avoiding her questions, so I nodded. "What did he say… at the end?"

"He said…" I swallowed, hard, refusing to recall Zimmerman's words of hate and anger. "… 'May you burn and pay for your sins'. After that, he wished that I may find myself again… and salvation with my sanity."

I could see those same words in Erika's eyes. I could hear her repeating her husband's words, but I could not feel their prayers be answered… if they can be called prayers.

The same moment I left, I cried bitter tears of anger and grief. Those tears were my punishment, and the sorrow that wracked my heart was my torture. I had not received forgiveness: I had misunderstood Erika's gesture. Her husband had gripped my hands that same way, and their gazes had been the same. My heart was bleeding the blood of all those I had killed, and their sorrows and hatred had joined in one to make me atone for my sins.

The same moment I left, I cried bitter tears of blood… the blood that stained my hands.

A/N: Was playing Amnesia the other day and this struck me, along with the following one. Keep on!

Reviews are appreciated!^^