AN: I'm sorry I haven't been around for a very long time but when life throws a curveball it isn't just one. Family, nursing an over 80 year old dement great uncle of my wife at home 24/7, health issues and college. I hope you forgive me. But I'm not sure if there are gonna be frequent updates, because of the college. It takes up a lot of time.

But for now. Chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 4

She couldn't count the mud pulls Jane had already been to, but she definitely hadn't enjoyed one so much, thanks to Maura. It wasn't fancy, like expected but both of them enjoyed their "date" immensely. They dined coke and hot dogs, even cotton candy, Jane in an old camp chair, Maura in her wheelchair.

Even after one time a tractor had broken lose, had skidded towards them and Jane grabbing Maura from her chair jumping behind the fence to save her from danger hadn't changed the atmosphere at all. When Jane had found it was save again she stepped back to their chairs with a laughing Maura in her arms. This had been such a ridiculous scene that there hadn't been a chance for fear. Instead now her ribs were hurting from her laughter. Jane looking down between them now noticed that they both were spilled with mustard and soft drinks.

"Oh Jane." She laughed, "that was fun."She wiped the mustard away, licking it away from her fingers. "You should have seen your face." She once again started to laugh. "I wish I had a camera."

Jane just blinked several times coming down from her shock, cheeks still flustered. She dipped her head a little and leaned down to lick some mustard from Maura's chin. The honey blond immediately froze. Hazel eyes locked with dark brown ones. She suddenly felt very insecure. Jane noticed and wanted to tell her that there was nothing she should be afraid of but maybe she was at fault. Maybe Maura should be afraid, because Jane felt so drawn to the petite beautiful woman and it honestly scared the crap out of her too. It was happening way too fast for her liking.

Shoving those insecurities and thoughts away from her own mind she playfully growled. "Seems like I'm still a little hungry."

Hearing Maura laughing eased the tension. "You should see my brothers. They can go for at least six and there still is room for plenty more." Jane leaned back and got up.

"I'll go buy some more, I guess." Jane smirked. "You are far too expensive for a first date though young lady." Maura just chuckled.

"Hey, who's the millionaire here? Thought you could just get off with some bucks?" she mocked the brunette. But yet she was right. Maura deserved so much more, a real dinner with only the best one could serve, music and candlelight. Jane smiled at her. Even with drinks and mustard spilled all over her she still looked damn beautiful. She shook her head and took a mental step back. She just couldn't believe that Maura was as lovely as she appeared, but damn she was.

A nose tiny and sweet begging to be kissed. The small freckles on her high cheekbones only let her appear even cuter. Beautiful light brows formed a perfect arch over those hazel eyes she had fallen into. And then from the chin down –don't Rizzoli, stop being such a sicko – she was like a delicate fruit just to be pealed of her shell. Wherever Jane's gaze would wander now there would be thoughts of endless long night's tangled in silk sheets and a soft glow of only the moonlight on her oh so delicate ivory perfect skin. The only thought of Maura seeping in passion send a shudder down her spine.

Jane shook her head banning those pictures from her mind. You can't think of her like that, dammit.

A disgusting knot formed in Jane's pit she quickly cleaned up and carried Maura back to the pits. After buying more food for each one they settle back in their chairs for the next round. Jane wasn't comfortable anymore, because with each tractor coming towards them she had the urge to jump up and protect Maura. The honey blond sensed Jane's discomfort and chuckled.

"You know I don't often get to experience dangerous. It's a very welcome change." Maura said watching the tractors.

Jane understood but she wouldn't let happen anything to Maura, not with her around. She would save her a second time if needed.

Seeing the dreaming sparkle in Maura's eyes made Jane's heart ache with sadness. What kinda experience it must be to now sit in a wheelchair, an incomplete paraplegic, but being as active as Maura was before. Curious as Jane was she cross-examined Maura for more information during the intermission. Maura told her that she had once loved the wilderness and freedom that came along with it and that she and her brothers had often been horseback riding to camp up in the woods.

"I loved it up there. It was beautiful to see the sunset or sunrise. Just enjoying the beauty of nature, some place human kind hasn't touched yet." She sighed and hugged her waist. Jane hummed in response.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." She often too was up there fleeing from the civilization to find her inner peace again.

"Oh and campfires." Maura added with a smile. "We used to sit there for hours, singing laughing and telling us the most cru some horror stories." She giggled. "It always spooked me to death."

"And the whole fun was over…" Jane finished.

"Oh no. It got lively then. They all had one-man pup tents and there was barely room for one person, but someone had always make room for me." Maura laughed. Jane looked at her irritated. "Didn't you have your own tent?" she asked curious.

"Yes I did, but after those stories I didn't want to sleep alone. They always drew straws but Collin always lost on purpose, at least that's what I think. So he was the one who got stuck with the lil' one."

Frankie's Wife Lola had brought a young girl into their marriage. The twelve year old thought of Jane as her bigger sister and so Jane hade once in a while taken her up to the mountains to stay there over night. So she knew exactly the fate Maura's brother had suffered. She hadn't minded sharing her tent in the first place but had grumbled anyway. She wouldn't mind sharing a tent with Maura though. But that was for very different reasons.

"Well if you would get back on a horse again maybe you could still go up there." Jane suggested naively.

Maura thought about it for a moment but then shook her head. "No, it wouldn't work."

Jane tilted her head and looked Maura straight in the eyes. "Why?" she wanted to know.

Maura felt uncomfortable and her cheeks turned into a slight pink. "I have too many needs and my wheelchair isn't exactly for rough territory and much too heavy to pack it on a horse. And on top of that there are no handicapped facilities in the wilderness."

What did she just say? Handicapped facilities? Jane tried to hide her smile when she realized what Maura was referring to. Damn she was so shy at times and then playfully silly and sassy. Jane watched her talking about her adventures with her brother when one thought repeatedly came up. She's the one. She was the woman of her lifelong dreams, perfect in every sense, except for the paraplegia.

Jane cleared her throat and looked over to Maura. "So what do you now do for fun?" she asked trying to get to know Maura better.

"Well mostly tame stuff. My family is overprotective since the accident. Everything that could be too risky is rolled out." Maura looked down on her folded hands in her lap, chewing on her bottom lip.

"You think it must sound pathetic, letting a grown woman getting her life dictated by her family." She sighed and rubbed her knuckles. Jane hadn't even considered that at all.

"It's just I hate to worry them. While I lived in Boston it wasn't bad at all because it was a sort of group home for handicapped people. I had many friends doing all sort of stuff we knew we were all able to do. Group activities and that stuff and we had a lot of fun because everything was accustomed to our universal needs, like a special swimming pool. When I-"

"Whoa hold that thought. What does universal mean exactly?" Jane asked suddenly very curious.

Maura quickly described the home with the spacious kitchens and bathrooms, the special lifts, like the doors and hallways where wider than usual.

"The kitchens were the best. Everything was special designed for paraplegics, on a lower level, without shelves up on the wall and enough space to fit my chair under. I really loved it there. And when Daddy asked me to come back the guys volunteered to accustom my house to my "new lifestyle. They built ramps and turntables so I could get everywhere without bumping into something…" Maura rambled on with everything had been done in her house. Jane listened intently to Maura's descriptions and wondered how difficult it must be.

"Anyway, "Maura interrupted Jane's thoughts. "I'm sure that's boring to listen to. Where were we?" she laughed out shyly.

"How it was easier while you were in Boston, instead of with you family." Jane replied with an amused smirk on her face.

"Yeah, right it was. It was so much easier, because I hadn't to answer to anyone, except on the phone. But it was my life. We even once went skydiving." At that Jane's eyes went wide. She cringed inwardly thinking of Maura jumping out of a plane. "I did a buddy jump so I wasn't in any danger but… it was great."

Jane just wondered how Maura ended up living back here when she had a good life back in Boston.

"After my accident and the three surgeries I went to rehab there and while I was there I decided to take some college courses and so I ended up with a Bachelor degree in computer science. I found a good job after I graduated and decided to stay there." Jane nodded taking it all in.

"So now I know how you get there but why did you came back here?" Jane asked looking at the honey blonde.

"Dad has a heart condition and the doc told him to cut himself short from work. Collin had to take over and apparently he needed my help with the business. So when he asked I couldn't just decline." Maura chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I think he just wanted me close and then had an excuse by offering me the job. It works out so far but I'm a little annoyed by their hovering. "

That sort of explained why the customer service had suffered lately at The Works. Her brother had taken over and, well Jane knew exactly how hard it was to take over family business without the upcoming complications. It hadn't been too long, that her own dad had retired from their business. As for the hovering over Maura, Jane could easily understand Maura's brothers. She would do the exact same thing. She had a disability and that made her more vulnerable than most women already were. Jane came back to the topic, activities.

"What one hundred percent safe activities do enjoy mostly." Jane asked.

"Photography." Maura answered. "Maybe I take some pictures of you some day." She added with a smirk. Jane had seen her talent first handed. The pictures in Maura's hallway had been breathtaking. She usually didn't care for that kind of stuff but she had to admit that she really, really liked what she had seen.

"What else do you enjoy in your free time?" Jane pushed.

"Oh I do enjoy playing Tennis very much." Maura replied, taking a sip of her drink. Jane coked her head.

"Really, Tennis?" she repeated, not sure she had heard right.

"Yeah, Tennis" she chuckled." I do have one paraplegic friend here in Willow Greek so far, met him at the 'X', totally cool guy, Riley Cooper, maybe you know him. We meet twice a week in the mornings rolling around the court. It's really fun and my brothers seem to be alright with this 'non-dangerous' activity." Jane looked at her like she had been hit be a thunderstruck. She couldn't quite believe that people in wheelchairs, well normal people in wheelchairs, were so active.

"I also do love swimming very much." Maura ripped Jane from her thoughts. "My mother joins me three times a week helping me with everything." She trailed off. "Oh and occasionally" she carried on "I play a little basketball with the neighbors boys."

Jane choked on her soda, whipping the dribble from her chin. "Basketball?!"

Maura laughed clapping her hands. "Yes, I'm really good at it, racing around, wheeling over their feet, distracting them. It's really fun."

Jane gave her a funny look. "All is fair when you are handicapped." Maura added with a side glance.

Jane just shook her head taking another sip. This woman was definitely something else she thought.

The next tractor appeared in the yard. "I've got twenty on this one winning the mud pulls." Maura said pointing over there. Jane grinned. "Nah, that's not true. The one I'm sponsoring wins."

"Wanna bet?" Maura asked playful.

"Oh honey, I really don't wanna take your money, but I'm on." Jane added.

After the mud pulls were over, Jane owed Maura twenty bucks. Maura stuffed them in the back pocket of her pants, grinning at Jane. "Told you I'd win."

By the time the evening had come to an end Jane had decided that she wanted to see Maura again, even if it just meant being friends, much to her dismay.

Maura liked her, so much could Jane tell but she still was very uneasy around her. She had tried to keep the mood light with some jokes here and a story there but there had also been moments of undeniable chemistry between them. A spark nobody could miss. And each time that spark came up Maura had grown quiet and tense.

After arriving in front of Maura's she'd put the gear in park and stared through the windshield. "I had a great night. Can't remember the last time I had so much fun." Jane smiled rubbing her chin.

Maura fidgeted with her fingers looking down. "Yeah. Thanks for asking me out. I enjoyed it too." Maura mumbled.

Jane stared ahead through the windshield gripping harder than anticipated around the steering wheel. Usually her line would be 'Oh Yeah. It was great. I'll call you.' and that's it. But not with her, she couldn't.

Jane opened her mouth, coughed and closed it again. Great start. She couldn't understand what that hazel eyed girl did to her. She never was nervous and tongue-tied. Try again stupid.

"I would really like to see you again, Maura." came from her lips. God, you sound like a sap, she just thought.

In the moonlight Jane could see the outline of Maura's outline. "That's would be nice. Thanks. Just give me a call and we'll see if it fits." She replied without looking at Jane.

Jane just nodded, felling sick to the stomach. Just politeness, it's just politeness.

"I'll do just that." She said and got out of the car to get Maura's wheelchair out of the trunk. She opened the passenger seat door and helped Maura into the chair. She wheeled her up to the entryway and was just about to say her goodbye when she turned around hooked a finger under Maura's chin and bent down to kiss her. Maura's eyes went wide with shock didn't turn her face away though. Jane lingered a moment and searched Maura's face for fear but could only find surprise.

The kiss was chaste and sweet but also extremely tense. Maura hadn't been kissed in a long time as it seemed. Her jaw was set and her teeth shut tight. Jane raised an eyebrow and nudged her hat back.

"Been a while huh?" Jane said softly crouching down in front of Maura, whose face was, flushed red.

"Twelve Years." Maura chuckled.

"Twelve Years?" Jane asked shocked by such a long time. What the…?

"It's pathetic isn't it?" She looked down in her lap, pushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Maybe we could just forget about- "

"Not on your life honey, I've been wantin' to do this all evening." Jane answered. Maura rolled her eyes. "I doubt that you – " But Jane didn't let her finish that sentence. She lifted Maura's chin once again. She knew Maura thought it was all about the damn chair and the pity she only seemed to get. But couldn't she see how beautiful she was, what a wonderful and lovely person she was. Jane leaned a little forward only to catch a glimpse of her sweet intoxicating scent. She didn't know what it was about this woman but one thing she was sure off, she wanted Maura.

She moved in, to show her how much she burned for her. She dipped her head to the side and kissed Maura again. When she was met with a closed mouth Jane applied a little more pressure to force it open.

Maura's lips trembled beneath Jane's but she complied. After having granted access Jane let her hand wander around Maura's neck and deepened the kiss. It was sweet but also passionate. Maura completely gave in and leaned into Jane grabbing her by the shirt. Jane couldn't believe this. She slipped an arm around her waist and drew her closer to her body, closer to her mouth, that sweet and intoxicating scent. Oh God.

Their tongues danced wildly, battling with each other. Maura moaned and the sound throbbed like pleasure in Jane's throat.

Jane needed control; she needed to be the one who… She slid her hand under the parka rubbing small circles with her thumb over Maura's abdomen, tracing every rib. Maura shuddered with every rib Jane passed only to deepen their kiss, if that was even possible. She slid one hand into Jane's hair, fisting it clinging onto her every need. Jane ran out of ribs she could trace only to be met with the swell of Maura's delicate breasts. Jane imagined how they would perfectly fit into her hand, caressing the softness. Maura.

Only with enough willpower she remained just under the delicate softness, caressing Maura's side, drawing her more and more in. Maura moaned at every touch pressing their mouths closer getting every last inch of Jane. She deepened the kiss and let her hand wander downwards just to stop on the outline of Maura's panties.

No, no, she couldn't. Not yet.

She felt Maura's mouth close against hers. She tried to end the kiss and Jane knew her limits so she drew away from Maura no wanting to cross a line. But Maura's delicate mouth clung onto hers and Jane had to grasp her face between her hands to force them apart.

Gazes looked, the stared at each other like people drowning, breathing raggedly. Maura's eyes were clouded and almost black when her surroundings came back to her. Her first reaction was that of shock, quickly followed by embarrassment that flushed her cheeks.

"Wow." Was all Jane could utter, bending to kiss the tip of her nose. A smile played around her lips as she brought Maura gently down back in her chair.

"That was something – else." She leand back grabbing Maura by her shoulders to prevent her from falling forward. Holding her breath, she just starred at Jane. Her breathing was labored and her pulse was to be seen on the base of her neck, something that told Jane that she was as aroused as she was.

Maura straitened in her chair and cleared her throat. "I think you should go now." She hugged her waist. "Thanks for the lovely evening. I won't forget it." Her voice was now dangerously low.

Jane was taken aback. Just like that she had to leave? Still crouched down she searched Maura's eyes and found – anger.

"Maura I…" Jane began but Maura waved her off. "Please just go."

Jane pushed to her feet. She had seen right. Maura was angry at her. Over the last few years she had made a lot of experience with men and women being angry at her but she always knew why at least.

"Honey, I – "

"No Jane, go." Her tone was cold and fierce. "I mean it. Leave. Now."

And that's what Jane did, what else could she do?

Once she was sat in her doge she leaned against the steering wheel and let out a ragged breath. Leave. Now. Maura was pissed at her and she had no clue why or what she had done. Okay they had got a little carried away but…

She leaned back against the headrest drew in a steady breath and drove off.

The whole way home she lectured herself about having been to forward. She needed to think about her next steps before she would take anything any further. A girl like Maura wasn't just like any other girl. She was fragile and vulnerable.

Once Maura was inside her house she ripped of her parka and tossed it aside with a clattering sound of the zipper. She covered her face with her hands, stifling a sob that tried to escape her aching chest. Oh God. Never in her entire life had she been this humiliated.

Thinking back to the kiss she remembered Jane pulling out of the kiss and she clinging to it like her life depended on it. Never in her whole life had she felt this before. Never in her life had she allowed herself to go this far and - enjoyed it. Why put herself through such heartbreak? The specialists in Boston had told her that her chances where grave that she'd ever have children and enjoy sex. So why even try going there? But Jane Rizzoli had opened the Pandora's Box of her sexual awareness, making her want things she never could have. Want wasn't the right word though, she ached for it.

Furiously she rubbed at her lips to get rid of the taste Jane had left there. It was a bitter reminder of how needy she had clung to the raven haired beauty moaning for more.

Never… never again would something like that happen. If Jane hadn't pulled away, there was no way to find out what would have happened next. Maybe she had done it out of kindness, sensing Maura's need.

Tears stung in her eyes. Just the thought of it made her sick. This was exactly what she had tried to avoid but Jane had to be persisted and take her out. Stupid, stupid, stupid Maura.

Twelve Years ago she had sworn that no man or woman ever have the power to make her cry again and now she sat there in her kitchen crying for something she'd never be able to have.

The next time someone would ask her out on a date, her answer would be an unequivocal no.