Chapter 3: Cuts and Tears

P.O.V. Jasper

Edward did come back. He didn't want to talk to Bella. I felt that it hurt her. She loved him.

I felt her hearbreak everyday. I was like my own heartbreak. I didn't want her to go through the same hell as me. That girl was too good for that.

She has also lost weight and has little sleep because of it. Her face is very pale and she has circles under her pretty brown eyes. Most of the time I see her act happy for her friends' and Charlie's sake. Maybe even my sake.

I always tried my best to cheer her up, if not by controling her emotions by talking to her. All this talking made me become friends with her. I was so similar to her. I clicked with her. This has never happened before. Never.

Being so close to her also makes me almost immune to blood. I also started learning how everyone's blood smells different. For example, Bella's blood smell floral, like freesia or lavender. Her smell is mouthwatering.

Bella is so clumsy. During gym, she causes numerous injuries to herself and others. She runs fast, faster than most human children, but her clumsiness causes her to slow down. Most of the time I stay back running with her so she won't hurt herself.

She has told me she loved Edward. She confessed it.

She told me, "Jasper, does he not like me because I'm not pretty?"

That was the first time I really looked at her. She had long straight brown hair and beautiful depthless, brown eyes. Her lips were full and luscious. Her cheekbones were high. She always had beautiful roses on her cheeks. Her features were small and delicate. I looked at her body and noticed all its curves. She was really slim.

"You're right, Bella. You're not pretty, you're beautiful," I said. She blushed and never dicussed it again.

I have gotten into arguments with my family about her. Especially Rosalie. Today was last day she did that.

"Jasper, you bastard, stop hanging out with that girl," she shrieked.

"Hi, Rosalie."

"Jasper, stop being an idiot. People are starting to notice. If this ends badly, they will blame it on you."

"It won't end badly."

"It will if she learns the truth. I will kill her along with you, if she finds out," she said angrily. She hit bellow the belt.

"You will not threaten me or her," I thundered. I grabbed her by her throat and throttled her. She smirked at me while I did it. Emmett of course came to the rescue, but I had other plans.

I dropped Rosalie and used my power. I used all the depression, heartbreak, and emotional pain I have suffered throughout the years on them.

Rosalie curled up into a ball and whimpered. Her face became pale and she dry-sobbed.

Emmett crumpled to the floor dry-sobbing. He crawled to a corner and rocked himself. It would have looked funny, if I wasn't causing it.

"Now, have we learned our lesson," I asked calmly. Everyone stared at me with terror, except Rosalie and Emmett.

"Jasper, please stop it," Esme begged. I couldn't upset Esme, she was like my mother. I turned off the pain and sent a calm wave to everyone.

Rosalie stood up and so did Emmett. They both glared at me, but said nothing.

"Now you know how heartbreak feels," I spat at them, but I wasn't talking to them. I was talking to Alice, and she knew it.

I turned around and ran. I noticed it wasn't twilight yet, so I ran to the only place I could go to.

Bella's house.

P.O.V. Bella

I heard a knock at my door.

I was talking to Jessica.

"Are you sure you don't mind... you weren't planning to ask him?" she persisted. She was asking me if I was planning to ask Mike to the girl's choice spring dance at school in two weeks.

"No, Jess, I'm not going," I assured her.

"It will be really fun," she said in a halfhearted attempt.

"You have fun with Mike."

"Okay, if you're sure. Well then, bye."

"Bye Jess."

Just when I put down the phone, I heard the doorbell. I went and answered the door.

There standing in the porch light was Jasper looking like a model for gel or raincoats. The light made his hair more golden than before. He looked glorious.

I stood there gawking at his beauty for about a minute. I was also surprised because he has never come here and he wasn't at school today.

"Bella. Earth to Bella. Can I come in?," he said to me waving his long white hand in my face. I nodded my head and opened the door all the way.

"Umm.. okay, this is weird. Anyway, follow me to the living room," I said. He followed me adn sat down on the sofa I gestured at him.

"So, not to be rude or anything, what brings you here?"

He didn't answer, but instead stood up and went and looked at my pictures on top of the fireplace.

"Jasper, are you okay?" I asked worriedly. He still didn't answer me.

I stood up and touched his back. He was cold and hard, like marble. I turned him around. His face was sad, in pain even.

"Jasper, what happened?" He didn't say anything. I swear I felt his emotional agony coming from him. I pulled him into my arms. He embraced me back. I didn't care if he was cold and hard, I only cared if he was okay.

I think he started crying because I could feel sobs coming from him.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, Jasper," I said into his chest because I was shorter than him at least a foot and a half. I never felt tears come from his face.

His sobs came farther apart from each other every minute. He finally did stop crying after a while.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said softly. He didn't look at me.

"Don't be sorry. Everyone cries. It's just part of human nature."

He didn't say anything for a while. Then he said, " The thing is that I need to tell you something. It endangers you and you can't tell anyone or my family will kill you."

My eyes bulged out. I wanted to run, but I knew he needed to tell me.

"What is it?"

"Bella, my family and I aren't human. We're vampires,"

"Oh," I said still not surprised. I already suspected that they weren't human. It would explain why they are so beautiful, avoid the sun, and their marble-like skin. The only thing that scared me was the blood they drank.

I stood up and went to the kitchen to start dinner because Charlie would be coming home soon. I heard Jasper follow me.

"Bella?"

"Mmm."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but I am concerned about your diet."

I heard him give a relieved laugh. "Oh, that. We hunt animals, not humans. Our eyes are golden because of that, while vampires that hunt humans have burgandy eyes."

"Oh."

"Bella, are you sure you are okay?"

"Ye..." That's when I went into shock and fainted. I think Jasper caught me.

I woke up in my room. I felt groogy. I was dazed, but then I remembered what happened. Everything came rushing back.

"Bella, you look tired. You should sleep more." Jasper's voice came from the rocking chair in the corner of my room. I jumped up from my bed and walked over to him.

"So you are a vampire and so is the rest of your family. Am I correct?"

"Yes."

"And you hunt animals, not humans, right?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay," I said calmly. Jasper stared at me.

"What?!," I asked.

"You are weird. Any other normal human would be freaked out, trying to kill us, or terrified. Yet you take it so coolly, it's unatural. You're so weird," he said. I glared at him.

"At least I'm not a weird vampire like you. Most vampires don't hang out with humans," I said acidly. He laughed at me. I smacked him upside his head. He grabbed my hand with his cold one.

"You know, you're really warm. You don't know how it feels to be cold all the time," he said as he stroked my hand. Can we say creepy? Yes we can.

"Jasper, that is creepy," I said, as I stared at him. He laughed and let my hand go.

We sat there in silence, well I stood in silence, Jasper sat in silence. I broke it.

"So, is there anything else I need to know?"

"Mmm.. I don't know. Ask me any question you want."

"Don't laugh, but how can you walk out in the sun?"

He laughed anyway. "Myth."

"Burned in the sun?"

"Myth."

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth." He hesitated, then said, "I can't sleep at all."

"At all?"

"Never."

Silence followed that answer. I sat there absorbing the information, when remembered Charlie and his dinner.

"Charlie?" I asked Jasper.

"I finished making dinner for him. He thinks you're sleeping because he came up to check up on you," he said.

"You know how to cook?," I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I've gone through high school four times and have taken cooking classes."

"Jasper, how old are you?"

"I'm twenty."

My eyes became wide. I was right when I thought he was too old for high school.

"How long have you been twenty?"

"Since the American Civil War."

He's old! Wow, I didn't think he would be that old.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just that my best friend is over one-hundred fifty years old. That is weird," I said with wide eyes. He laughed.

"Shut up, Jasper." He just laughed harder. I got angry and went over to my bed. I grabbed a pillow and threw it him. He could have caught it, but he was laughing to hard. It hit in the face. I cracked up as he glowered at me.

"I need a human minute," I said. He held out his hand to procede.

I grabbed my towel, my bag of tolteries, and my pijamas. I walked to the bathroom and took a shower. I felt excited, giddy. I washed my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo. I turned off the water and dried myself. I put on my pajamas; they consisted of pijama bottoms and a tank top.

I brushed my teeth, trying to be quick and thorough. I finished and I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were brighter. I had hectic red spots on my cheekbones. I looked different.

I suddenly realized why I looked different. I was in love. Not with Edward anymore, but with Jasper. Oh, no! That is bad; more heartbreak for me. I slumped my shoulders and walked back to my room.

P.O.V. Jasper

I felt free, liberated after I told Bella the truth. I couldn't belive she would take it so coolly. I knew she was weird, but I didn't think she was that weird. She was amazing really.

When she hugged me, I felt so warm. She was so warm and soft. Her warmth thawed my frozen heart. I felt the glory of the time I fell in love with Alice.

When she left for the bathroom for her "human moment", I noticed a journal on her desk. It was small and simple, but its simplicity made it beautiful.

I opened it and read it

February 21,

I feel so empty sometimes. I swear Edward looks right through me. I feel like cutting myself to see if it hurts now that Edward hurt me .

I was shocked, terrified even. Bella was thinking about cutting herself. I kept reading more.

February 22,

He makes me feel worthless. Maybe a death attempt will change his mind.

I am horrified. Bella, my Bella, would think of that. Suicide and cutting herself. She can't. I love her so much. More than myself, more than anything.

I love her. My friendship is more now. She can't ever know about this. I would be heartbroken again.

I turned around at the sound of the door opening.

Bella stepped in. She smell so good, that venom was pooling in my mouth. I wanted to drink her blood, yet I wanted to kiss her lips too.

Her face was flushed. Her skin looked warm. I wanted to hold her in my arms, but I needed to do something before.

"Bella, what is this?" I held out the journal at her. Her face paled. She walked to her bed.

"You read it, huh?," she asked with a hint of sadness. I felt sadness, love, and heartbreak coming from her.

"Yeah."

She sighed.

"Have you done it? Cut yourself?." It hurt me to ask. I couldn't imagine her harming herself.

"No. I couldn't. I didn't do it for your sake and Charlie's, and I can't see blood without fainting."

"Then why do you write this?" I held up the journal up.

"I write it because of my dreams. I dream of dying," she said quietly, looking at the floor. I noticed something fall from her face to the floor. I cupped her chin and and looked at her face. She was crying.

"Oh, Bella, don't cry." I pulled her into my arms. Her warmth spread through me. Her warm tears wet my shirt, but they smelled sweet like her. I wanted to taste them.

She embraced me back. I could feel her pain, her relief, her love. I don't know why I felt her love but I felt it. I sent her calmness. Her crying became subdued.

She stopped hugging me. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She looked at me questionately.

"Jasper, what did you do?"

"I forgot to tell you my power. I am charismatic. I can control emotions," I said matter-of- factly. Her eyes went wide.

"Can everyone do this in your family?"

"No, only I can. Edward can read minds and Alice can see the future, though." I expected her to become depressed at the mention of his name, but she didn't even seem to care.

Silence followed this. It wasn't uncomfortable. I don't think silence with her would ever be uncomfortable.

It was getting late and Bella needed to sleep. I stood up to leave, but Bella grabbed my hand.

"Jasper, please stay," she begged. I nodded and sat on her rocking chair.

She pulled out the covers of her bed and crawled in. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

During the night she talked. I think I heard her say she loved me.