So I think I'm in the appropriate mood for a confrontational chapter! Which is probably the only good thing about being upset!
Hope you enjoy my constructive frustrations! xxx
I actually like this chapter- I feel it went well.
Daryl smirked, so this was the game she wanted to play. He stood up straight, taking her hand and shaking it.
''Daryl Dixon, helping yer daddy out.'' He gave her a slight wink, before brushing past her, grabbing Herschel's tool box and walking outside. He knew exactly what she was doing, hiding behind that façade of sundry happiness, pieced together by memories of the past. He walked over to the barn, leaving Herschel to greet his daughter properly, but his mind still trialled off to the blonde mystery. The makeup hid her well, let her put on this aloofness, that's what Maggie hated. He agreed with Maggie. But he was all too used to knowing that feeling of not wanting to be a disappointment. If Beth Greene didn't smile, she wasn't being Beth Greene. But when Beth Greene smiled she was lying.
Beth huffed under her breath, who did he think he was? She felt he was forcing himself into her life, giving his number and now just turning up on the farm like he lived here. She couldn't help but take it personally. Well too bad, she didn't need him. She didn't need anybody, not really. Beth Greene started lying about people years ago.
The truth was she had a list of people she loved. And a shorter list of who she didn't mind being around, and this list, it got shorter year by year. It doesn't matter how you feel, it only matter how you look. Ignoring the undeniable urge to take something, smoke something or drink something, Beth turned to her parents. The smile didn't even flicker as she poured her mama a glass of lemonade and seamlessly offered to take over the baking- 'you do too much, you should be restin' like the doctor said.' Her father smiled, kissed her forehead and left.
Her apron was still there on the hook, prize place next to her mothers. When she was younger Herschel put it there as a treat, Beth had always loved baking with her mother. She rarely got to do much nowadays. Occasionally she would do fancy dinners for Zach. But fancy dinners had fancy price tags, and he was a simple man who liked simple food. It was simple. But under the façade of helping out, Beth tied on her apron, and started small talking with her mother. Lies, all lies- not now head, I'm talking to my mother.
Daryl and Herschel were out in the barn all morning working up a sweat. The heavy lifting was mostly done by Daryl, Herschel had a prosthetic leg from an accident some ten years ago, and besides he was an aging man. Daryl was used to the labour, and was a junkie for the pain and satisfaction that a project brought. Once he fixed up Merles old triumph after a motorcycle crash. Took nearly a year of lazy Sunday afternoons, but Merle was speechless for a whole two minutes when he saw it done.
The barn wasn't in too bad of a shape really. It needed reinforcing here and there. The rafters needed new planks to stand on for the hay loft, and a few holes needed patching up so the animals couldn't get out, and the cold couldn't get in. After that a good sweep, spit and polish.
By noon they heard the approach of Hershel's eldest son Shawn, he apologised about being late. His wife was expecting their first child, and he found it hard to drag himself away when he could feel it kick. Shawn was around Daryl's height, lithely built like Beth. He had the same softness and he did in his childhood photographs, but there was a hardness around him from years of putting up with crap.
He put down a tray of lemonade, which they both accepted readily.
''You'll never guess who's dancing round the kitchen singing to Doris Day.'' He smirked at his father, patting him on the back lovingly.
''Bethy's dancin'?'' Herschel looked up in dazed disbelief, he laughed to himself. Shawn joined in the guffaw.
''Singin' too, I ain't lying. Maybe she finally turned a corner.'' He smiled at his father, whon looked like a load had been lifted. Daryl felt like he was intruding on a special moment of hope for them both. He felt awkward stood there thinking 'that corner ain't been passed', when these men clung so readily to any sign of normality. So he went back to work.
The kitchen at the farm was still a little slice of heaven. After everything that passed being here with her mother felt like she was 13 again- the music, the laughing, the smell of fresh pie. The happiness cuts more than the sadness. Reminds you of what you had, you could have had, still could have. If only you hadn't done what you did. She shook her head, spinning her mama under her arm, sining out the words.
Maggie's head popped round the door. Her face was unbeknownst to Beth, who wasn't paying attention, and one of surprised reminiscence. She missed the days she'd come down to shout at them for doing this on a Saturday when she was still sleeping. She missed hating Beth for the things she'd love Beth to do now. But this woman, wasn't her innocent sister, and she hated how no one else could see that.
Her mother caught her eye, offered out a hand. No matter how badly she wanted to take it, dance along and pretend it was alright, the child inside her won out.
Twenty minutes later the news was shattered to Herschel. Screams could be heard from inside the barn, but the voices got closer. They went outside to check out what was happening. Beth was storming away from the porch, and Maggie was having none of it.
''just let me go! I don't wanna fight you- your breakin' momma's heart!'' she tugged her arm away from Maggie, cradling it close. Beth's voice was pleading, tired of confrontation. Her eyes shifted to Annette, who held a tissue to her heart.
''All you ever do is run, Beth. You not tired? Tired of running from being a whore-''Maggie's voice was just as quick to play dirty, not letting Beth back down.
''Says the biggest slut of high school?'' Shawn had to cover his mouth to stop a cry of amusement and shock, at Beth's brazenness, obviously she didn't usually stay around to give the dirt back. Maggie looked shocked for a moment, then her lip curled. This was obviously going to be the clincher.
''At least I didn't drug and drink my own- Shawn get off me!'' whatever Maggie was going to say was stopped forcefully by her brothers hand over her mouth. Beth ended the sentence in her own head, her eyes brimming with stabbing tears. Maggie's heart broke a little bit, her shoulders dropped.
''That's enough! We have company, and Maggie, you made your mother cry.'' Herschel went over to hug his wife, gently asking her questions, and leading her back to kitchen. Shawn was having a serious conversation with Maggie who looked disappointed in herself like a child in the wrong. No-one noticed Daryl slip away.
She groaned at his shadow, not even opening her long lashed eyes to look at him. He was impressed, he expected to come over here finding her crying. He simply sat down in the grass beside her, picking the grass and twiddling it around. He wasn't the type to bother himself with peoples mess, but this girl needed someone up in it, and the rest were too ignorant to take the dive.
''How did you find me?'' she grumbled, rolling over to her belly to look at his face. There was still a childish curiosity in her big blue eyes. His stomach twisted the make-up really was too much. Then he realised looking closely, it wasn't there to hide behind, it was there to hide that hideous bruise. Don't look too close, and you don't see the fractures in the china cup.
''You told me where you go when you're havin' a strop, remember.'' He took out a cigarette, taking a long drag. Hell, did he need that. The field was just as she said, long tickly grass and right by the wood. She hadn't been hard to spot, lying there, her blonde hair fanning out around her.
''Worst decision I ever made,'' she murmured to herself, taking a calming breath. She ignored all the other 'worsts' of her life. Thoughts flickering to the lonely sanctuary she could have at home. She could sneak up to the main floor bathroom, and steal some of Maggie's weed, then bake for a while on the sofa back in that house. Better than thinking. Zach would be out at his friends watching the game, only to pass out and wake up in the morning covered in his own vomit. She wrinkled her nose at the thought.
''Yer pa's worried about you at least. Brother is too, I bet my bottom dollar that Magg-'' he felt the need to justify something. Wanted to know if she cared, or if she was past that point of saving now. If she was he'd just double his efforts. Did she even see how hard they were trying to reach her still?
''I don't care what you bet. Let me guess, daddy told you I was 'sick'. Wasn't calling addicts sick when he was boozed up to the eyeballs though was he? No, the one person who should understand thinks I'm a whore and a junkie.'' Her voice shot back, not missing a beat. He finished his cigarette and rubbed it to the ground.
Whereas Maggie and Shawn had an inbuilt fire to dealing, much like Herschel. Beth was all poor Annette, who willingly believed in the good of everything and let herself be ignorant to the hardships so she didn't break. Annette didn't have the fire to cope. But Beth had been exposed to truth, and hurt and she wasn't born to be a fighter. Yes, she could show the Greene fire, but it was all an act. Deep down, Beth was sitting in a corner crying to be set free.
He took her arm, pushing the sleeves up, tracing the lines of abuse and drugs. Her arm pulled away, unused to gentle touches, anyone seeing. The reliance on others blindness was being torn to shreds.
''Why?'' it could have been unheard, dismissed. She could have left him there waiting on an answer until the day he died. And when he turned over in his grave, she still wouldn't tell. He deserved nothing less.
''If I pretend it's alright, one day it will be.'' Her voice grew softer. She hated this feeling of giving him something to play with, she didn't want to be pieced together by him. He already let himself in, she didn't have to tell him anything. But the truth had slipped out.
Beth was the face of innocence, the body of an adult and a mind of too many years. The complications of her character were created to keep people out, but it trapped the wrong ones in.
''That day won't come.'' The truth stung like salt on a fresh wound, it did its job.
''What the fuck do you know?'' She spat back at him, her voice full of forced venom. She wanted out, she wanted him to leave. He was playing with the sharp balance of reality she had, this was something she had to take. She started to walk away, expecting a hurtful comment to the wind. She could brush it off, fix her make-up and drive home to the empty house.
Instead he grabbed her arm, pulled her down and straddled her, wrapping a hand around her throat, lightly squeezing. Beth didn't brace, she didn't struggle and although she looked surprised, and her body didn't even flinch.
''Enough to know you ain't fightin' it anymore, that you're giving it away.'' He whispered it in his ear, his voice dripping with sad truth. Daryl leant in closer, she could feel his tickling breath on her lips, just like every night since she was 15. The ignorance of her understanding was plain of her face. ''This ain't love. Love shouldn't hurt you like this- he, shouldn't hurt you like this.''
And he saw her face drop. And for the first time in years you could see Beth Greene properly. Not the dolled-up southern belle, or the hooded reminiscent, or the defensive fireball. But lying there weak of giving. Tousled hair, red eyes and oh, so pretty still. She could break a man's heart in one hit, because she had no more heart left to give.
Her request hung out, he took her hand, leading her there.
''Show me.''
I hope this was alright! And we got a bit more characterisation down! Sorry about any mistakes.
And remember a review a day keeps the doctor away. xxxx