Cloud pulled his bulldozer up to the starting line. It was a very expensive bulldozer, made out of millions of tiny bulldozers that were all forged by dwarves in an underwater volcano. He was very confident that this bulldozer would win him the big race.
Suddenly, a familiar face pulled up to the starting line. "Yo Cloud!", the man said.
"Hello Kanye." Cloud responded. Kanye West was riding his faithful gunbear, the AK-47's making up his hind legs positioned to begin the race at any moment. It was this bear that had won Kanye the blue ribbon five years in a row. Cloud sneered at the bear. The bear raised his middle finger, which was a pistol, in retaliation.
"On your mark, get set..." the announcer began to say. The announcer was also a contestant this year, as had gotten bored of just announcing the thing. He was riding a cyborg narwhal and wearing a sombrero made out of chainsaws. The sombrero was glued to his head, as not to fall off, and the chainsaws were cutting through the ground behind him. Cloud steeled his nerves. This years competition would be tough, but he had won 2nd place every year since 3rd grade; he was determined to win first this year.
"GO!" The announcer shouted, after giving himself a 3 second head start. Cloud's bulldozer roared with the energy and vigor of a million cattle stampeding through a canyon. Cloud blazed through the other racers, eventually coming between Kanye and the announcer.
"I'M SORRY I HAVE TO DO THIS, CLOUD!" Kanye West shouted over the roar of his gunbear "BUT I NEED TO WIN. THE DARK GOD OF THE FULIGIN ARCHEPELEGO NEEDS BLOOD SACRIFICE, AND IF I CAN NOT PROVIDE TO HIM, HE WILL TAKE MINE!" Kanye hit a button on the back of his bear, opening up a portal on the moon. A million moon beavers swam out of the portal, and homed in on Cloud, gnashing their teeth in anticipation.
"DAMN YOU KANYE WEST!" Cloud shouted back, almost inaudible over the roar of his bulldozer. "I AM NO LONGER KANYE WEST!" Kanye, who's throat was beginning to get tired from all this shouting, shouted back "I HAVE ENDURED THE 7 TRIALS OF HESHIPAT AND ASCENDED TO A HIGHER PLAIN. FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, I SHALL NOW BE KNOWN AS KANYE EAST!"
Cloud gasped. But he had no time to be surprised. The moon beavers were already beginning to eat his bulldozer. He only had one option, and he knew he had to take it. He pressed a button on his bulldozer, and it turned into 37 naked men riding segways. Then they danced their sacred dance and combined to become Galvotron, the destroyer of worlds. Cloud climbed into Galvotron's cockpit, which was made of the flesh of the denizens of fallen planes.
"DAMN YOU CLOUD!" Kanye East shouted, as Cloud raced by him, leaving him in the dust. But Cloud was too satisfied to hear him. Cloud knew he had finally won.