III

I turned and began walking away.

"Mia!"

The music was loud as I charged back through the cantina, through the chattering and musings of droids and aliens and smugglers and thieves, sauntering quickly through the misfit tavern like a vagabond. Like someone running from their life. Like an outcast, a weakling.

A fool.

"Goddamnit! Mia!"

I felt Han's feeble, weakened hand grab my elbow and yank me around.

I sighed, looking away from him. "I need to go."

"You can't…" he sighed. "We can't just keep running away from this," Han said, his voice low. "No matter how much we want to."

"I can," I said. "I have. And I've been just fine."

"You call hiding out in a hut in the woods fine? You think that will really save you? There's no running from this. I know that now, kiddo. I've come to terms with it and now you need to do the same. You can't run anymore. Things…" he sighed. "Circumstances have changed."

I didn't say anything. I knew he was right.

"Mia, look at me. Look at me, will ya?"

I turned to look up at his aged, tired face. I saw all the sadness in the universe in his eyes, which hosted black circles under them. So restless, so troubled. Careworn. And in him I saw Ben, the same nose, the same eyes, the same sadness and exhaustion. Han's features softened and he reached to my face, cupping it in his wrinkled hand. I shut my eyes and leaned into his hand, seeking the comfort that I had so dearly missed.

"Han…"

Tears squeezed out of my eyes and stung them, my lip quivering. I threw my arms around him and clung to him; he was stiff at first, but then eased up under my embrace, gently hugging me back.

"It's alright, kiddo," he murmured gruffly, patting my back. "It's alright."

"I'm so tired," I whispered, releasing and looking to Han.

Han's brows arched in pity. "I know."

I looked down, reluctantly, at my abdomen. "I… I need to go. I need to get outta here."

"Wait, kid," Han begged, taking me by the elbow again. "Hear me out."

"I'm not safe here," I said irritably. "And neither are you. You know that."

"Kid," he said. "Listen. Just come with me."

"What could I do?" I asked him. "I've tried before. I tried to get him to come to the light and he… he scarred me. He's too far gone, I can't get him back. He won't listen to reason."

"You are his weakness," he said. "You know you are. As much as I didn't believe it… there's still light in him. I hope that much."

I stared up at Han, unsure.

Han brought me back to the round table in which he, Maz, the round droid and two others sat. The others, a boy and girl, looked to be perhaps a bit younger than I, and looked to me with curiosity and bewilderment.

"Mia," Han began, "This is Finn, Rey, and that's BB-8."

We made our acquaintances and our greetings.

"Why… why am I here?" I asked as I sat down. "I appreciate you asking for my help, but I… I can't be of help. I'm threatening all your lives by being here. The First Order has spies everywhere. They'll be here in a blink and then they'll slaughter us and it'll be a bloodbath. Don't be foolish. Don't endanger yourselves like that."

"They're on our tails already," Rey explained. "BB-8… me. Finn. They're after all of us. You aren't alone."

Then why do I feel so alone?

"Why?" I asked. "Why are they after you?"

"BB-8," Rey said, gesturing to the small droid. "He holds part of a map that may lead to Luke Skywalker. The First Order won't stop until they get it."

I turned to Han. "Luke Skywalker?"

"How do all of you know this guy?" Finn chimed in.

BB-8 rolled around and beeped, looking expectantly at me.

Han nodded somberly. That wound would always be fresh; it would never heal.

"We need…" he let out a heavy sigh. "We need to get them to Leia, to the Resistance. You need to come with me."

I looked at him, worried, then turned to Rey. "I'm sorry. I haven't seen nor heard of Luke Skywalker since I was little. I have nothing to give you. I can't be of any help. If anything, I would just drag you down. I'm a danger to you all."

"You have everything to give," Han quipped, "Don't you be a fool."

"Don't you understand that Leia put me in hiding so I would be safe?" I asked him. "And now—"

"And now things have changed," Han interrupted. "We need you. It's foolish to think that you can't help."

I glared at him. "Is it truly foolish to hide from someone like Kylo Ren?"

"Mia," Maz implored. "You have to understand that the galaxy needs you. You can help them destroy the First Order. You can help them to destroy Ren."

"I wish I could, I do," I said. "But I need to go—"

Maz clipped her goggles on more securely; she magnified her eyes and the tiny black dots that once were her eyes became large and very intrusive. She climbed onto the table, crawling across it towards me. "Uh… what's she doing?" Finn asked quietly, looking at all of us, bewildered.

"You carry his weakness inside of you," Maz began, taking my hand in her small, cold one. "That child… it will bring light to its father if you make it so."

I felt my heart throb like a fresh bruise in my chest, and my lip tremble, trying to keep my composure. I looked to Han, who nodded at me in turn.

"You are the wound in his side, don't you understand? His weakness, his call to the light… you are the light to his darkness," she stopped in front of me and squinted harder, looking into my eyes with suspicion and pity. "You are so very afraid, my dear child. As you should be."

Tears stung the sides of my eyes. She was right, as much as I did not want to hear it.

"Your eyes… they are not one of a happy young girl. But that goes without saying, I'm afraid," Maz mused on, squinting harder and harder. "You seek the salvation and happiness that you once had, don't you? But I'm afraid you will not find it unless you allow yourself to forgive him… unless you try to bring him to the Light. You… You are so sad. It's tragic, it is, how you let yourself be so afraid of him when you can bring him back… you want to help, but you are perhaps too cowardly to face him—"

"I am no coward," I erupted, standing up from the table. "I've had enough." I sighed, trying to calm myself down. "I'm so sorry. I wish you nothing but the best, but I cannot help you. I'll only make things worse. The First Order will be here soon. I need to go."

I turned to Han. "I'm sorry, Han. I'm sorry."

I got up from the table and made my way back through the cantina, walking quickly. I ran down the steps of the castle and through it's gates, up into the woods. I ran through the thickets and ferns and bramble bushes, scampering through those woods with tears glassing over my eyes.

"Don't be afraid. You're so lonely…"

His voice in my head hauntingly taunted me as I ran through those woods.

And I heard the ships coming.

The First Order.

My pulse rattling my entire body, shaking it to its core, I had never felt so panicked. I sprinted through the woods, faster, faster, jumping over branches and fallen trees and viciously pushing aside hanging vines and ferns. Tears began blinding my vision but I blinked them away.

Don't be weak, I scolded myself. Just go. Run, run, run, run.

My heart throbbed and my chest hurt, sweat slick on my forehead when I final reached the home. I threw open the door and sank to the floor, shutting my eyes and burying my face in my knees as I scrunched them close to my body, hugging myself for comfort. The thought of seeing him, of confronting him… just when I was beginning to understand that I had to accept that I would never see him again. It was like getting stabbed in the stomach, over and over and over until I had no more blood to give.

I felt it.

I felt him.

I looked around my hut and saw that my dingy homestead was absolutely ransacked. My cot was overturned, papers that I had written on were thrown everywhere, the carpet was tossed aside in a corner and the flowers in the dirty glass on the overturned table were thrown to the ground in a puddle of dirty water.

I stood up, carefully and slowly, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand.

I slowly walked into the other room. Darkness engulfed the room, where I saw nothing; but as I turned back around and looked back towards the room in which I slept, I saw him.

He stood there, intimidatingly tall, in all black, his Kylo Ren mask staring back at me with an eerie, chillingly blank stare. My heart trembled in my chest and I felt my face flush, all color draining from it. My blood ran cold and I felt like I was going to die.

"You're afraid. I can feel it," the deep, dark voice snarled from behind the mask, blinding me from seeing the difference between the man and the machine. "Your fear betrays you. It always did."

With tears brimming my red-rimmed eyes, and before I could even try to use the Force to get my lightsaber that was now on the floor by the overturned table, he brought up his hand and my throat tightened until I felt as though it had closed up. I was brought up off the ground, dangling in the air. I tried to breathe, tried to claw at the invisible hands around my neck, and eventually he let me down and I fell in a heap to the ground.

Gasping for breath, I tried to pick myself up. I looked to him with hate in my eyes. "You are not that mask, and you never will be, Knight of Ren," I mocked him. "You are an always will be Ben Solo, a Skywalker. Kill me if you will but you will never fool me into thinking you are that mask."

He brought his hand up once more and I felt a crippling, unbearable weight fall upon and crush me, like someone was squeezing my entire body, as if I was going to die.

I felt sick, trying to keep him out of my mind. My veins bulged in my face and I bared my teeth, trying desperately to shut him out.

"Get… get out of my head… "

He knew me. I hate how he knew me.

He knew how to get deep inside of me, to the deepest corners of my mind, to the darkest corners of my soul were I kept so much locked up and buried deep.

His lithe form crossed the room like a ghost, slowly, and the Force on me intensified; he brought me to my knees, his hand hovering over me. His other hand grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. I stared up at him, begging and searching for any sort of mercy in his eyes as I shrieked and whimpered as I was forcefully made to kneel at his feet.

"Maybe now it will be easier to find you, now that there will be two heartbeats instead of one," he mused, his hand gently hovering over my abdomen, "You've kept it safe while we've been apart. Good."

Tears flew down my cheeks and I couldn't even find the strength to blink them away.

"Shut up," I choked out. "Get out! Get of my head!"

I stared up at that mask and devastation and anger coursed through my veins.

Tears streaked down my cheeks as I gasped for release and to breathe as his hand hovered over my face. My breathing heavy and short, I thought this was the end. He found me and now I was going to die.

"You thought you could hide, in this little hut, in this little forest kingdom," he mocked in that deep, inhuman voice, and I knew that behind that wretched, black, disturbing mask he was smiling. "You know it, too, don't you? You're thinking it… oh, I see it. I feel everything you feel. I see what you see. I know every part of you, and I know that you know you can never hide from me, Mia, no matter how hard you try, no matter how far you go."

His hold on me intensified and I shouted out in pain, the invisible grip on me becoming so unbelievably painful that I thought I was going to vomit.

"I've searched everywhere… I've searched all over for you," he said, crouching to meet my gaze. I tearfully looked at the mask and choked out a sob, looking into the face of Kylo Ren. Not Ben.

"And I've come to burn your kingdom down."

Thank you for reading, and happy New Year! x