Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and characters of Sponge Bob, Twinkies, Mr. Clean, Family Guy or Silly String! XP
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Abi read the new client's name over and over.
Renkotsu Shichinitai.
She prayed it was just coincidence, though deep down, the name was familiar from Bankotsu's session. She took in a deep breath and heard a knock on the door. She closed her eyes before opening it.
"Hello, I'm Abi Hime." She smiled and offered her hand.
"Renkotsu." He introduced and her smile widened. Somebody with class!
"If you could just take a seat…" She gestured for the couch and he nodded. She sat across from him.
"I hate the thought of this, I really do, but I don't know where I can turn…" He sighed.
"It's alright…"
"Look…I'll just get straight to the point…it's my brothers….all six of them." He stared at her.
"Go on."
"Alright…one just eats everything in sight, Kyokotsu, Mukotsu is the grimiest thing that can't accept the fact women don't like him, Jakotsu is a sarcastic cross-dresser, Suikotsu has a split personality and instigates any fight, Ginkotsu is loud and then…there's him."
"Who's he?" Abi asked curiously.
"Bankotsu. The most arrogant, childish, Twinkie-loving, goldfish-mourning idiot alive." He explained.
"I take it you have issues?"
"Issues do not begin to explain it…" He sighed. "He's twenty years old…twenty! Do you know what his favorite show is?"
"What?" She asked seriously.
"Sponge Bob….guess the new nickname he gave me last week!" He yelled.
"What is it?"
"Squidward! Do I look like a squid?"
"Perhaps you're personality is similar?" She shrugged.
"Squidward is a boring character. He does nothing but complain about his neighbors!"
"Hey, you're both bald." She smiled and he glared. She cleared her throat. "Sorry…" She whispered.
"So…I just…I don't know what to do…you know what he did just last night?"
"What did he do?" She frowned.
"He put silly string on my head when I was sleeping! He said I looked good with hair. Do you realize how offensive that is?" He growled.
"Have you spoken to your brother about your feelings?"
"Miss Hime, I know you're trying to be understanding, but it is absolutely impossible to have a serious conversation with him unless there's Twinkies or Spike involved." He frowned.
"Tell me about it…" She muttered.
"What was that?"
"Hm? Nothing." She blushed and he nodded. His phone rang.
"Speaking of which…here, listen." He put it on speaker. "Yes, Bankotsu?"
"Ren? Ren…I…I think Koga took my Sponge Bob boxers!" Bankotsu said as he shuffled objects in the background. Renkotsu rolled his eyes.
"Why would he do that?"
"Because I stole his purple Batman boxers." He explained.
"What did I tell you about stealing?" Renkotsu asked in a bored tone.
"Look, Mr. Clean, I don't have time for lectures…they were cool lookin' so I took them…now do you know if Koga stole mine?" He whined.
"Mr. Clean?" Renkotsu asked.
"Yeah, you both have bald, shiny heads." He explained from the other line.
"Goodbye, Bankotsu." Renkotsu sighed.
"Wait!" Bankotsu was cut off when Renkotsu flipped his phone shut.
"Do you get my point?" He glared.
"Uh…yeah…"
"And the worst part is, Jakotsu's like his partner in crime! So if I'm arguing with Bankotsu, the arrogant freak jumps in like it's his job!"
"Did you ever think the way you speak to your brothers influences their actions?" Abi asked.
"Are you blaming me for Bankotsu's Twinkie obsession?" He asked in disbelief.
"No, I'm just saying…you seem to be the most mature…did you ever assume they look up to you?" She asked and he scoffed.
"Miss Hime, they're idol is Peter Griffin."
"Who?"
"Peter Griffin….Family Guy….TV show…" He explained.
"Oh…wow…" She frowned.
"Yes and it's so…they'd all be lost without me!"
"How so?"
"I cook for them….I clean up after them…I listen to all their ridiculous problems…I just….I cant stand them! All six!"
"It sounds as though you have a lot of miscommunication." She reasoned.
"I don't want communication with those idiots. I'll wind up as stupid as them if I hang out with them!" He argued.
"Renkotsu…stupidity is not a virus…." She sighed.
"With them, it is." He explained and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
"It sounds as though Bankotsu is the source of your problems." She reasoned again.
"Ugh…yes….I get a migraine thinking of the stupid questions he'll ask me today. Do you know he had a two hour debate with Jakotsu that a tomato was a vegetable? It's a fucking fruit!"
"Maybe if you get him alone he'll be more serious. Maybe he feels the needs to 'show off' in front of his brothers." She explained.
"As true as that may be, I don't think he'll listen."
"But you'll never know unless you try." She assured.
"I do suppose you're right. Sorry for my ranting….its just….its been a while since I vented." He explained.
"It's alright." She smiled.
"Thanks again." He stood up and she led him to the door.
"See you later, Renkotsu." She waved and shut the door. She let out an exaggerated sigh.
She simply hoped no more Shichinitais would make their way into her office.