And now a brief interlude with Sasha… I really dig her, hope I did her justice.
~Kit
Sasha could always remember being hungry. When she was younger, it seemed to be a constant state of being. It would gnaw at her insides as though her stomach was going to eat itself in sheer desperation for nourishment.
It was also not the greatest that food seemed to be getting scarcer and scarcer with each passing year. Despite her father's warning about saving food for harder times, it seemed that she couldn't help herself.
At every opportunity she would gorge herself until her stomach was distended and she finally felt full. Mini Titan that was her nickname with the kids from her village, at first it had mad her cry hot, angry tears, it wasn't her fault that she was always so hungry and it didn't help that she shot up like a bean sprout when she was ten.
Soon enough though it was just a statement of fact rather than the cruel name she had been given.
Her father often wondered where her voracious appetite came from, she could see it in his eyes whenever he caught her stealing food. If only he knew that she ate out of fear. Her fear was all consuming and it left an empty pit inside her.
She was scared of the titans, she was scared of what might happen, she was scared of running out of food but mostly she was scared of change. Change meant loss and having lost her mother, her warm caring mother, it was a pain that she never wanted to experience again
Even she could see it, after the fall of Wall Maria, there seemed to be less and less food to be hunted. She would be out in the forest for hours looking for game and mostly every hunting party returned empty handed.
In her panic she would raid the storerooms trying to drown her fear in food. It had been a particularly bad day when her father caught her eating from the storerooms again. He had yelled at her to stop and taken the food away when she actually bit him to try and get her food back.
Her fear turned to anger when he told her of the plan to switch to farming from hunting. It enraged her further when her father told her that the capital would pay them to farm.
Who cared about the capital? Why should they change for a tragedy that wasn't theirs? Or that could be blamed on them? Why should they give up their way of life, a life they had been living for generations?
It was only when her father's face softened as he told her that humanity needed to band together to survive, to be at their strongest and to achieve their true potential.
But she couldn't agree with her father, they weren't horse breeders and farmers, they were hunters.
After a month of stony silence, she left.
Joining the military was the best and worst idea she had ever had. The worst because she was as isolated here as she was at home. She kept her speech as overly polite as possible as she tried to disguise the country accent she has. Weirdly, she didn't even think that her accent was so bad until she heard the city accent as she asked for directions to the enlisting station.
It was the worst as she had to earn another nickname during her first day. Potato Girl. All she had done was take a snack with her, a snack that uncharacteristically of her, she had tried to share. Instead she was punished with running laps around the field until nightfall or she passed out. She had groaned out load when Keith told her that there would be no lunch or dinner break. The nickname had stuck with her all through training, despite her never being caught with a potato again.
It was the best joining the military because here, her hunting skills were so very useful. Her balance and speed proved to be an invaluable asset and her hunting intuition also proved useful. Graduating ninth in her class still didn't feel quite real.
It was also the best because, eventually, she started to make friends. She counted Christa as a friend, even if she had to deal with scary Ymir. Christa would consistently stand up for her, but for her it started when she smuggled out bread for her on the first day.
But perhaps Conny was the best person to call a friend. Although during the day he hung out with Reiner, at night he was happy to stage a food raid with her. They would sit with their spoils cracking jokes until the food ran out or one of them grew tired.
Sasha supposed he was the first person she felt comfortable dropping the accent with. Conny was in some ways similar to her, growing up in a small village in the South, moving here without any idea of the vastness of a city and missing his home. It was why they bonded. In between jokes they would share stories about the lives they had growing up. She would tell of her father teaching her to hunt and he would make her laugh out loud about the stories he had of his mother's frequent naps.
Eventually they would spend time clowning around, trying to trick the other into doing something silly or trying to trick the people next to them.
That had been a much simpler time.
When Wall Rose had been breached, it was the first time she had ever seen a titan. The drawings and scale models that she had encountered in training had not even begun to prepare her. It was the Colossal Titan that had been burned into her memory, the lipless mouth showing teeth that were in a crude imitation of a grin. She had abandoned her scavenged meat and plummeted to save Samuel.
She had been assigned to guard the middle area of Trost and it had been terrifying to watch the titans get closer and closer. To watch her classmates get grabbed and eaten. It was her speed that kept her alive, her intuition predicting the titans next move and her fast reflexes allowing for her escape.
It is with joy that she reunites with her compatriots but that quickly turns to horror as she realises the number that they have lost. When Mikasa leaves and no one follows her anger burns again as she yells. "Cowards, Weaklings, Idiots!" and she turns to follow Mikasa towards headquarters.
She didn't think Armin had it in him to craft such a devious plan and she is a little surprised to be chosen to take down one of the titans. Conny is beside her as they take down the titans and she is only dimly aware that he also failed as her titan starts to reach for her. She tries to reason with it, telling it she is sorry for trying to kill it but it continued to reach for her.
She is still frozen in fear when her titan suddenly pitches forward with a blank expression on its face. Mikasa lands soundlessly next to her, her blades clutched in her hands. She is so relieved she shouts her thanks at her as her legs give out from underneath her and she slumps forward.
It is at the burning ceremony when she hears Jean tell them that he is joining the Scouting Legion, it is a surprise when she hears Conny say the same thing. She thinks of seeing a titan again and the pit in her stomach opens wide. She looks at those who are joining the Scouting Legion and she is surprised to see the open fear on everyone's faces.
Tears pour down her face as Commander Irvin gives his speech. It is nothing short of terrifying what he is saying, but even when there is no punishment for deserting her legs refuse to move. This only makes her cry harder.
During the month scouting training she learns to face her fear, she will never not be scared, but she learns to control it better.
She is assigned to the left wing when they go out on their first scouting mission and so she misses seeing the female titan. But while she is with the others in the trees, with the titans salivating at their feet, she hears that scream.
She knows that noise, all trapped animals make that noise when their hope disappears and they scream in fear. It is a noise of sheer desperation, a last ditch effort for help.
To hear a titan scream is terrifying.
When she hears of the breach she volunteers to go north, to her village, to home. There in panic in her heart when she sees the pathway made by a titan heading straight for her village. It is here that she regrets her skirt, riding a horse was always easier in pants, fighting a titan is just insane.
She rounds a corner to see a village that wasn't here only a short while ago. It is abandoned, doors are thrown wide in haste and dropped possessions are littering the path in front of her.
In one of the houses in the middle, she spots a titan, it kneels on the floor picking up some poor dead woman by the legs and is devouring her slowly.
In a nearby garden she finds an axe and with a blood curdling scream aims for the back of its neck. Again and again she aims for the back of the neck, only to have the wounds closes before she can do any actual damage. The titan's blood sprays all over her, drenching her skin and clothes and she can feel the tepid liquid ooze down her cheek.
It's because of the axe flying out of her hand that she even sees the child. Quickly she grabs the child and darts out the door, apologising for having the child abandon his mother. In the buzz of her adrenaline rush she hears the child question her way of speech. She sees a bow and a few arrows that she hastily picks up.
When her horse is spooked and flees, she struggles to take any control of her panic. It only clicks in then that even close to home she is still sticking to her over-polite speech. She can still hear Ymir's voice badgering her about it as she laid bare some of her fears and again it is Christa that tries to get her to back off.
Christa only receives a nasty head butt from Ymir, who uses the silence to say that she shouldn't be so scared to use her home dialect. But it is Christa with a surprisingly strong head butt back, that tells her that her word choice is hers alone and she may speak just as she likes. It was among her favourite memories.
Then again, her entire memory of her squad could be made up of those memories.
She sends the child on the path to her village, confident that someone from there will save him. She turns to make her last stand against the titan. It feels surprisingly good to have a bow and arrow back in her hands.
She loosens one bolt into its neck to grab its attention and leaps up an embankment. Her second arrow misses. She has two arrows left, she takes a deep breath and this prey is not a quick footed deer but a slow lumbering titan.
Her third arrow finds it target.
She drops the bow, she can't afford to miss this shot. She leaps at the titan, the final arrow in her fist and she feels the satisfying sensation of it sinking into its target.
There is a moment where she feels the titan wrapping its arms around her in some sort of sick embrace. It is now her turn to fight.
She flings her arm up to deflect the mouth that was dipping to eat some part of her and with all her force she slips out of the titans grasp.
She doesn't even look back as she turns to run, to find the child and her horse. She can't be more than a hundred feet when she sees movement in the trees. Her heart looks set to burst with joy and she catches sight of her father.
He takes a few seconds to realise who she is.
But nothing feels as euphoric to her as she hears her dad tell her that she became a splendid person. She urges her horse onward, finally it feels like home.
Diclonius57 this was inspired by you. Don't think I would have ever written something about Sasha, hope I didn't mess anything up.
I just wanted to go a little into Sasha, besides the usual comedic function she fulfils.
On another note, Anon-u your reviews make me smile I will definitely be writing more JeanxMikasa
Thank you to everyone for their amazing reviews, they really make me smile. IVIoogle, thanks for the idea. Since your review I have been plagued by a plot bunny.
See you all soon!
~Kit