AN: aaand we're back to Frisk POV.

You fish your phone out of your pocket, finding, just as you expected, about twenty missed calls from Toriel, and, to your great surprise, a text from Sans.

hey, frisk. is everything alright?

The words glare up at you from the screen. You're not sure what to respond. In the end you settle for keeping it simple.

Yeah I'm fine

He responds almost instantly.

glad to know you're okay. tori's freaking out.
let her know you're safe, kid.

A part of you slowly twists up in guilt, but you try to brush it off. There's… been a lot of things to adjust to, after moving in with Toriel. Lots of things in your life are entirely new, or at least very different from what they used to be.

So far the hardest thing to get used to is having people around who would miss you if you weren't around. Who would not only notice if you went missing, but worry about you. Maybe even look for you.

It's… strange. And you're not always the best at managing it. You're getting there, though. Slowly.

For now, you try to focus on the task at hand.

I know I know

I will
I didn't mean to make her worry.

You click out of the conversation and write a message to Toriel. You're not really sure what to say, so it basically comes down to a quick 'I'm alright', followed by apologising and telling her you're fine, really, but you'll stay out a while longer.

Soon as you've sent it there's another message from Sans.

i figured.
you gonna tell me what happened?

Your fingers hover over the screen, hesitating. Are you? You're not sure. You don't want more people to know than what is absolutely necessary. You owe it to Chara to keep their secret.

...but more than that, you owe it to save them, don't you? And Sans knows things, he's smart. He knows, you suddenly recall, about the resets, though you're not certain how much. After everything that happened with Asriel, and breaking the barrier, it sort of slipped your mind, and you've been so busy since.

You make up your mind.

Yeah. Meet me at alphys' place? I need to talk to her too

The pause this time is a bit longer. You impatiently tap your foot on the ground.

sure. see ya

The air in your lungs rushes out of you in one long breath. There. That's you, having taken the first step. That's supposed to be the hardest one, isn't it? You're off.

Now you just need to keep moving.

You stand outside Alphys' door, hand raised to knock. It's been five minutes. You still haven't knocked.

You're not sure where to start. But… you figure that sort of means you can start anywhere, right? You want to know what happened, you want to know why Chara is gone, you want to find a way to bring them back. You think, maybe, to understand any of that, you first need to understand why they were even with you in the first place.

If they were here right now they'd tell you to stop being such a wimp and just go for it already. They can be such a jerk sometimes.

Reminding yourself why you're here, you hold your breath and rap your knuckles against the door. It swings open, and there's Sans. He looks… entirely unperturbed. But that's him just about always. You and Chara are both extremely envious of the advantage being a literal skeleton gives you to keeping a good poker face.

Knowing he's looking at you makes you feel incredibly self conscious. You fight down the urge to cross your arms, and bring them up to your chest to sign instead. 'Hi.'

'Hi yourself. You gonna come in?"

You nod and try to straighten up a bit, make it look like you're more okay than you actually are. You don't think you do very well.

"Gotta say, you've got me curious," he mumbles, and then holds the door open for you. "Hey, Alphys! They're here."

There's a little 'oh!' from one of the other rooms, and then Alphys appears at the end of the hallway.

"Hi, Frisk!" she calls to you. She's smiling. "Do you- W-would you like a drink? Or something?"

You don't really feel like eating or drinking anything right now, but… Chara was always a firm believer in the theory that there's absolutely no situation that can't be improved by tea, so you ask for that, before following Alphys into the living room. She gestures to the couch. You sit down on the couch and try to make yourself comfortable while she goes into the kitchen to get the water boiling.

Sans takes a seat across from you. You can't help but shrink into yourself, hunching your shoulders - and then you remember that neither of them would mind, so you pull your legs up underneath you and sit like that. He doesn't say anything, and neither do you, but you still feel his eyes on you even though every time you sneak a glance he's looking somewhere else. It's sort of a relief when Alphys comes back and sits at the other end of the couch.

"It'll be just a moment," she tells you, before lapsing into silence. You should break it. But you're not really sure how.

In the end, Alphys does it for you. "S-so!" she says, turning to you. "W-what's up? Sans said you had something to talk about…"

"Yeah," you say, out loud. Your throat is dry. "I need to ask you something. About souls."

Her face falls. It's only for a moment; she plasters on a smile again almost immediately, but you saw it happen. The air in the room feels suddenly heavier somehow, and you don't dare to look back at Sans. You wish you had something to fiddle with. A ring, or a bracelet, or… just about anything, really. Instead you settle for pulling at your sleeve.

"S-souls?" she stutters. "I- um- y-yeah, sure. Go ahead!"

You hate to bring her down from her good mood like this. You hate to be the one to remind her about everything. It's not like you knew her all that well before, so you haven't got anything definite to compare to, but she's… really a lot happier in general now, you think, when she hasn't got everyone's fates hanging on her shoulders anymore. Just like you.

...and just like Chara, you think, with a painful sting. You give yourself a mental shake. Stop that. You're getting them back. That's why you're here.

"Can…" you start, only to stop and start over. That's not the right question. You know if . You want to know how . "What could cause someone to… stick around after their soul is gone?"

She laughs nervously. "W-well… I guess… if they're a human, their, um, determination keeps their soul from shattering, and someone could…"

"I'd think you know more about that than we do, Frisk," Sans says, not unkindly, but with an odd edge to his voice. You shake your head.

"No, that's not what I meant - I mean, if their soul has shattered? If it's really gone ? How would someone… be alive after that?"

Alphys' face twists up in confusion, brows furrowing. "Um. They can't? I mean… If your soul breaks, that's… that's it."

"But what if, hypothetically , someone could? How would it happen?"

"Sorry, Frisk." She makes a helpless gesture. "I don't really know what you want me to say, it just… isn't possible."

"But-" you say, fumbling for the words. "As long as you still have determination- the amalgamates-"

"They weren't really gone , Frisk. They were just… fading. And besides-" the corners of her lips quirk up in a vague approximation of a smile "- we all know how well that went."

A heavy silence spreads in the room. You do. On some level you're aware that this is where you're supposed to comfort her,

"I really am sorry, Frisk," she tells you. You don't respond. The silence stretches out until it's miles past 'uncomfortable', but you don't care.

"W-well!" Alphys says with forced cheer. "I bet the tea water's ready! I'll be right back!"

And then she leaves the room, and you have to press your nails into your arms to stay still.

She can't help you. The thought fills you with a hopelessness so intense you think that if you were a monster, it might actually kill you. No. No, you're not giving up, you're not . Pull yourself together.

Living on without a soul is possible. You know it is, because Chara did , and so it must be. Their existence in itself is proof. That means there must be a solution, an explanation, there must be, there must be.

"Frisk," Sans says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You'd almost forgotten he was there. Your eyes dart to his. "What's this about, really?"

You shrug.

"That wasn't really a hypothetical question, was it?"

Even though it's fairly obvious he already knows what your answer is going to be, you hesitate before shaking your head.

"I figured. So. Who's dead?"

You can't help it; you flinch at the word. "It's not like that," you say, forcefully enough that it takes you by surprise. Him too, judging by the way he actually blinks.

"They're not dead," you say, not sure who you're trying to convince. "They're not."

"Alright," he says, spreading his arms in an attempt to placate you. "I'm just saying… Bringing people back from… wherever they've gone might not be the best idea."

You know. Or, well, you don't know , but that's just how it always works, isn't it? Every book, every TV-show, every movie you've ever watched - once someone's dead, it's better they just stay that way. Trying to bring people back is always where the real trouble starts.

But Chara isn't dead.

… or maybe they were always dead. Either way, it doesn't matter, it doesn't , and however things work normally this isn't the same . You've died. You've died over and over and over - and then you've come back, and that's been fine.

"It's not the same," you tell him. "They're… If they're dead they were dead before I ever knew them."

You fall silent as Alphys comes back in, bringing you the tea. You curl your fingers around the cup, careful not to burn yourself.

"Thank you," you say, forcing a small smile to your lips for her.

"We can't help if we don't know what's going on, Frisk," Sans says. Alphys looks questioningly between the two of you, but she sits back down without commenting. You're grateful.

You take a small sip from the cup. It's hot, and Alphys always puts too much sugar in it - this is one of the few occasions where you and Chara agree that it's possible for something to have too much sugar - but it's okay. Chara would probably appreciate it more than you do, though.

...they wouldn't want you to tell-

- and that means nothing if they're gone forever, you remind yourself, as you take a deep breath, and start talking.

You tell them about falling into the Underground, about being lost and lonely, and then… hearing a voice, a child just like you, and how you were never really lonely again. For the longest time you thought you'd gone crazy, but compared to everything else, hearing voices was really a fairly small thing. And they knew things you didn't, could tell you stuff about people you'd never met before in your life… At first they were sort of a guide. Eventually, they became a friend.

It's… weird, telling someone about all this. You've never had to say it out loud before, and you feel so clumsy - the words won't come out right, you're stumbling and stuttering and probably making things a lot more confusing than they have to be, but Alphys and Sans are a good audience. They stay quiet, letting you talk at your own pace, even as you take breaks to rephrase something or sip at the tea, which is slowly growing cold.

...you don't tell them everything. Some things belong to you and Chara alone. And some things… Some things you wish you could forget, but they're chiseled into your memory, flashes of things that should never have happened burning at the back of your brain. It's irrelevant, it's not realanymore, you went back, you set it right. You won't let it happen again. They won't let it happen again. It's in the past; it doesn't matter now.

"...and this morning they just disappeared," you say, reaching the end. You're not crying. You feel like this is something to be proud of. "I don't know what happened, it was just- they were there, and then they weren't, and I want them back . " Your voice breaks. They're kind enough to pretend it doesn't. "They're gone and they shouldn't be, and I want them back ."

"Well, then," Sans murmurs, leaning back. "That's a tricky one."

"I don't understand what happened," you say helplessly.

"You're sure they didn't just… move on, or something? Went wherever people go when they die?"

"They didn't," you say, but even to your own ears you don't sound very convincing. "They wouldn't… Chara wouldn't do that to me. Not without saying goodbye, or…"

"Wait." Alphys interrupts you with a frown, speaking up for the first time since you begun the story. "Did you say Chara?"

You freeze, hands clenching around the cup. You'd forgotten - the tapes - they were in Alphys' lab, she'd know, of course she'd know-

"Chara as in Asgore and Toriel's-"

"We can't tell them," you blurt out, catching her eye. She looks… baffled, more than anything. "Chara wouldn't want them to know. They never wanted them to know."

To your great surprise, neither of them tries to argue against you.

"The first fallen, huh…" Sans muses, and shoots Alphys a Look you can't decipher. She looks conflicted, fidgeting under the combined weight of your stare and Sans' and you know, with earth-shattering certainty, that she's hiding something. Something important.

Part of you wants to confront her, wants to scream and take her by the shoulders and shake her until she tells you everything she knows but- no. That… isn't who you are, that isn't what you do, you're determined to be better than that. You've been on the wrong side of that exchange too many times, and it never makes anything better, does it? If she knows anything that can help you, she'll tell you anyways. She's your friend. You trust her. You trust your friends. You have to.

Oblivious to your brief inner battle, Alphys seems to be facing one of her own. Still looking uncertain, she turns to you.

"Frisk… Y-you really want this… right?"

'Want' isn't nearly enough to describe it. Chara's absence is a tangible hole inside of you; you don't want this, you need it. You need them to come back, and you're certain that wherever they are, they need you too. You've been doing surprisingly alright so far, but you can't keep it up alone, you can't keep going alone when there's supposed to be two of you. You need them back.

You want to tell her about Chara - not like you did earlier, trying to only explain the concept of what was going on, but tell her about Chara , the person, your friend, but every time you try your throat clogs up and the words get stuck, so you don't.

Instead, you just say ' Yes, ' hoping the longing in your voice makes up for it.

Alphys takes a deep breath and nods resolutely. "Okay," she says. "Okay. I might- I might have an idea of what to do. Or- or where to start."

She glances over at Sans. He stretches his arms above his head.

"On it," he says, winking at you. "Hey, Frisk, how would you feel about taking a walk?"

"Where are we going?"

"Well, first we're gonna go talk to Tori so she gets a chance to calm down for real. After that… Alphys, you wanna do the honors?"

Her voice is trembling, just a little bit, but she still sounds as determined as you've ever seen her be.

"We need to visit the lab. We're going back down to the Underground."

Sans walks with you all the way to your and Toriel's house. No short-cuts. His presence beside you is familiar, calming, as your mind races at the thought of going back to Mt Ebott. The thought fills you with a strange sort of icy almost-dread. All those caverns, all those homes, with no one living there anymore… it must be so empty. It must be so lonely.

He must be so lonely.

… it's been a while since you thought about Asriel. Mostly you try not to, because it's not at all a happy thought.

You left him down there, all alone. He helped you save everyone, and in the end you abandoned him. Because he asked you to. And because when he did, when you tried to insist that he could come with you anyways, that you were sure it'd be okay, Chara's presence in your mind went strangely cold and distant and they sounded so detached when they told you to just listen to him, to just do what he wanted. So you did. You walked out of there, and you never told anyone what had really happened.

Just another secret for you to keep.

Keeping Chara secret from Asriel, and Asriel secret from everyone else - you wonder what they'd think if you told them they were sort of similar, in a way.

… this isn't something you want to be thinking about right now. You try to distract yourself by talking to Sans,but he keeps stubbornly dodging every question you ask until you're so frustrated every trace of melancholy is burnt out of your system, and you wish you had something to throw at him.

"You'll see," he says in response to 'What's in the lab?', 'What was Alphys talking about?', 'What are we going to tell Mom?', 'Why can't you just tell me now?', and just about every other question you can think of.

You're almost there when he retorts with a question of his own.

"So. I gotta wonder. Why don't you just go back?"

"...huh?" The question catches you unawares and it takes longer than usual for it to filter through your consciousness and be deciphered into actual words.

"You're obviously not very happy with this outcome. So… why don't you go back? Don't get me wrong," he says when he notices your shocked expression, "I'm not saying you should. I'm just… curious."

"I can't," you say once you remember how words work.

"Why not?"

You shrug. "I don't know. I never…" You swallow and then revise your statement. He knows. It's okay. " We never really figured out how any of it actually works , we just… did it. Besides," you can't help but smile slightly as you say it, even with how miserable the situation is, "they were always more determined than I am."

It looks like there's more things he wants to say, or maybe ask, but you're already back home, so the conversation is effectively over, and besides: payback is sweet. Time to face your adoptive mother's concern-and-or-fury.

"Tori," Sans calls when you open the door. "Brought your kid back."

There's a muffled exclamation from the kitchen, the sound of something hastily being put back down on a table, and then Toriel rushes into the hallway and drops down to her knees in front of you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

"Hi, mom," you whisper into her fur. She hugs you even harder. You… must've really frightened her, huh? It's weird to think that she'd be worried on a venture as relatively safe as this one, considering everything that happened to and around and because of you in the underground, but. You suppose maybe you sort of understand.

You close your eyes and hug her back until, of course, she pulls away. Her eyes are narrowed as she looks you up and down, most likely checking for injuries. Once she's seen that you're okay - no broken bones, no scratches - some of the tension disappears, and you breathe a sigh of relief. You do feel bad about worrying her, really.

The time between her relaxing just a fraction and her going into lecture mode is approximately zero point three seconds. You keep up the appearance of listening attentively as she gently chides you for not telling you where you were going, not answering her calls, and not dressing more warmly when you're going outside in this weather. To be honest you sort of zone out half-way through, making nods at what you think is the appropriate places.

...the first time Toriel got upset with you, you freaked out really badly. You couldn't even really hear what she was saying, you were so caught up in having made her angry and thinking you'd ruined everything for sure this time that it was hard to focus on anything else, up until Chara stepped in and breathed with you for a while, just until they'd balanced you out enough to keep going on your own. It hadn't been a serious lecture. She hadn't even raised her voice at you, not really. It's just that you find it difficult to tell sometimes, with adults.

"-but I need to know where you are," Toriel is saying sternly. You bring your attention back to her. "You could have gotten lost, or injured, and we would have had no clue of where to look for you!"

"I know, mom," you say, dutifully. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry - I just panicked. I'm okay now, really."

All the fight seems to go out of her and she sighs deeply, before giving you a weak smile and placing her hand on your shoulder, getting up from the floor. "I know you would not alarm me on purpose. I am glad that you are alright."

"So, speaking of letting her know where you're going, Frisk," Sans says. You roll your eyes at him.

'Your idea, ' you sign, shielding your hands with your body so Toriel can't see. 'And since you won't explain it to me properly, you get to tell her. Congrats.'

"Eh, I guess that's fair," he shrugs, turning to Toriel. You're a bit disappointed you didn't manage to get a reaction out of him. One day. "Frisk, Alphys and I are going on a field trip. There's a couple of things to sort out in the underground - nothing big, just some stuff we didn't get a chance to sort out before we left. Some stuff we think Frisk'd like to see, too."

Whatever she was expecting him to say, this clearly wasn't it.

She glances between the two of you for a long time before she speaks, obviously weighing her words very carefully. "Frisk, I know that you are very capable, but I do not feel comfortable sending you down there on your own."

But Sans reassures her. "They'll be okay, Tori. You know Frisk, they've always been an independent sort of kid." He winks. "'Sides, they won't be on their own. I'm keeping them company, right, Frisk?"

"So is Alphys," you remind her, nodding eagerly. Her discomfort does seem to fade a bit at that, but not entirely.

"Even so, I think it would be for the best if I joined you as well-"

No. You're shaking your head long before she's done speaking, but Sans interrupts her before you have the time to.

"Nah, you've other things to worry about. Can't abandon your students like that."

"I suppose you are right," she says, not looking entirely appeased. Nevertheless you sigh in relief.

"I'll be okay, really," you tell her, making sure to smile wide and confidently. "It's just a short trip, Mom! It's not like I haven't been before…"

"I know," she sighs, "But still… I cannot help but worry. Is this truly necessary, my child?"

"Yes," you tell her immediately. Part of you wants to tell her that it's important , that you have to go, but that'd just make her suspicious, and even less likely to let you off without her. She looks at you. You do your best to seem upbeat and genuine. After a while she reluctantly nod.

"Be very careful," she tells you sternly, before turning to Sans and, equally sternly, orders him to look after you, and both of you to check in with her regularly. She offers to bake you something for the road, but Sans declines, saying you'd better get going if you want to get there before it's dark. With a start you realise he's right; it's almost afternoon. Your stomach finds it suitable to remind you that you haven't eaten anything since breakfast. It does this rather loudly, and Toriel insists you at least grab something from the fridge before you leave.

You're glad to have her looking after you.

… once Chara is back, you swear to yourself, you'll make sure to convince them to tell her.

The hike up Mt Ebott is better with company. The wind whooshes through the trees, the leaves crinkle under your feet, and you steadily make your way up the mountain, Sans and Alphys not far behind you.

This time you have an actual backpack, with some stuff you thought might be of use - a piece of rope, because that feels like a sensible thing to bring on an adventure, a small box of bandaids, for the same reason, and a tupperware container with some food, because even though monster food doesn't go bad it feels better to actually keep it somewhere than to just shove it in your pockets.

There are also items that are far less practical: a bar of chocolate, Chara's favourite brand, and a worn copy of Le Petit Prince , which Chara sometimes pretends to think is childish, even though you share a head and you can feel it makes them just as happy as it makes you.

You're not sure why you brought them. Most likely they're just gonna end up being dead weight, but… It just felt wrong to do anything relating to Chara without bringing books and chocolate.

… if he still won't listen and come back home with you, you'll leave the book with Asriel.

You reach your destination just as it's getting darker, stopping by the entrance to the Underground in silence. I'm coming for you, Chara , you think, hands clenching around the straps of the backpack. I'm going to fix this. I'm getting you back.

"Well. Here we are, then," Sans says, hands in his pockets, standing right at the edge of the cliff. Behind you, the sun is setting.

"Are you r-ready, Frisk?" Alphys asks.

The Underground spreads out below you.

You give them both a determined nod, and begin the descent.