I would like to take this opportunity to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed or made this a favourite. I know I haven't replied to many, and I have no excuse, apart from Im a busy mum of 2 who works in a school (manic at Christmas) and have got to get ready for Christmas myself!
So in this chapter, we get to some of the medical stuff! Everything in this has been found on the internet - so it may be wrong or out of date information - or both! Because of this I haven't gone into to much detail I'm still more into the emotional side of all this. But I do apologise for anything that is totally wrong.
The following morning dawned bright - not a cloud in the sky. Jamie dragged himself into the shower, cursing the bright weather, while he felt so down and dull. He had tried to sleep the night before, with little success, so now he felt worse than ever. He hoped the shower would wake him up more. He dressed quickly and grabbed a coffee. As he drunk the warm liquid, he wandered over to the window and glanced out at the world in front of him. Everyone seemed to be carrying out their every day routines, while his life felt like it was on hold. He took a big mouthful as a wave of anger swelled through him. Why did it have to be him?
His thoughts were broken by his phone vibrating on the table. He hoped it wasn't Danny checking up on him again. It had wound him up, more than he cared to admit, Danny phoning him the previous night - especially when he had admitted that he was checking up on him. Although Jamie did appreciate the fact that Danny was concerned about him, it had still annoyed him. He picked up the phone to check the message - it was from his partner reminding him that no matter what the outcome, he was not alone.
The silence was broken by a knock on the door, causing Jamie to glance at the clock - it was that time already?
He opened the door to reveal his tense looking brother, who's brow furrowed in concern almost immediately, "You ok kid? You look pale..."
Jamie nodded, "Yeah, just didn't realise what time it was."
Danny took a step in and closed the door behind him, "Sorry about last night Jamie..." he began.
Jamie waved away his apology, "No its ok Danny..."
"No it's not! I shouldn't have called. You've got enough to deal with without your crazy brother checking up on you!"
Jamie smiled slighly, "I admit that I was a bit put out - I'm a grown man after all, but I do understand and if it was the other way round I'd be exactly the same," Jamie stopped, appalled by what he'd just said, "Thank god it's not you..." he exclaimed.
Danny moved a little closer, " Hey you're my kid brother - if I could take this for you, I would do it in a heartbeat!"
Jamie felt emotions building that he didn't want Danny to see so he grabbed his jacket, "Let's get this show on the road."
"Good morning Jamie, please sit," Dr Jackson offered a seat to both Jamie and Danny.
"This is my brother Danny..." Jamie introduced as the two men shook hands.
"Nice to meet you Danny," he offered. Danny smiled stiffly at the man who basically held his little brothers life in his hands.
Dr Jackson sat behind his desk and opened up the file that was in front of him. Jamie was staring at the file intently as if he could see through the cover.
"Ok then, let's get to it..." Danny felt Jamie tense next to him - so he put his hand over the younger mans' as a gesture of support - Jamie didn't seem to mind.
"I'm afraid the ultrasound did show some abnormalities in your left testicle and your blood tests..."
"Point to cancer, " Jamie finished for him, paling as he said it. Danny swallowed hard as he squeezed Jamie's hand.
"I'm afraid so Jamie. We can't be 100% certain without a biopsy but unfortunately current research shows an increased chance of spreading the cancer by doing a biopsy, so we will have to take the whole testicle..."
He paused briefly to let the information sink in. He watched as the older brother tried to reign in his emotions in order to be strong for the younger man, "So now the positives - we have caught this quite early so even though we need to take the whole testicle the chances of clearing you of the cancer are a hundred times better than if you had left it longer before treatment. Your fertility should not be affected to much, but again we can't be 100%. Now I know that this is a lot to process but I am going to add to that by advising you that I have scheduled your operation for Monday morning - the sooner we start, the sooner we can clear it and I'm confident that we will!"
Jamie just nodded as the doctor carried on talking. Was he hearing this correctly? He had cancer...in his twenties? He glanced at Danny who was intensly concentrating on everything the doctor was saying, while nervously chewing his lip. God, he was so glad he'd asked him to come.
"So, any questions?" Dr Jackson's voiced broke through veil of oppresive silence that had descended over Jamie.
"How confident are you of clearing this?"Danny asked.
Dr Jackson offered a knowing smile, " You know we can never be 100% certain, but as I said before, it was caught early so I am very optomistic that we clear this up in no time!"
Dr Jackson turned to Jamie, "You alright Jamie? You did the right thing coming in when you did. I can't stress enough that early detection is the best form of defence for this!"
"Will I have to have chemo?" Jamie had only just thought if this.
"Possibly, but we will cross that bridge if we get to it," the doctor assured him.
Jamie nodded his understanding.
"I had it myself a few years ago and I'm still here! It's not a death sentence Jamie!"
"Everything will be ok kid, I promise," Danny insisted, squeezing his hand a little harder this time.
Before long they were back in Jamie's suddenly dull looking apartment, "Coffee?" Danny questioned as he began to fill up the machine.
"Is that the best you can do? I'd rather go out and get smashed," Jamie replied as he ran a hand through his hair.
"You and me both," Danny chuckled as he poured water into the machine.
He felt a myriad of emotions swirling through him. He wanted, more than anything, to be able to say something positive but, in truth, he was scared that he would say the wrong thing, so he busied himself with the coffee.
Ten minutes later, the two brothers were both sat on the couch, nursing their coffee's in silence. Suddenly Danny couldn't take it any more, "God!" he exploded - Jamie looked confused, "I don't know what to say to you!" Now Danny was on his feet, pacing in fustration, "I want to do the right thing...but I don't know what that is!"
"Danny stop!"Jamie commanded, as he got to his feet as well. He took a step towards his brother and grabbed him in an embrace.
Danny was stunned to start with, then wrapped his arms around the younger man, "Just you being here helps me Danny - I couldn't have got through that appointment without you being there..."
"Oh Jamie..." Danny whispered over a lump in his throat.
As the brothers parted, Jamie gave a half hearted smile, "Look, its not that bad. It's been caught early - hopefully I can still have kids - it could be a lot worse."
Danny stood back and watched as his brother almost transformed completely in front of his eyes. Gone was the scared kid that he had seen earlier that morning - now a more positive young man stood before him, "I'm so proud of you Jamie."
Jamie stopped in his tracks, his eyes shining, "Thanks Danny."
"I'm here for you, whenever you need me, that's a promise."
"I know and I think I'm gonna need you."
A mischievous look suddenly washed across Jamie's face, "So if you're there for me whenever I need you...does that mean you'll tell the family?" He enquired, looking hopeful.
Danny shook his head, "Hell no! You're on your own with that kid!"
So I was going to include the informing the family in this chapter, but I've decided to do that in the next chapter - mainly because I need to re-do it to make it read better and I didn't want this one to be mega long. Anyway hope this is ok. Again, apologies for anything I got wrong (and there probably is a touch of dramatic licence thrown in here and there). Probably a couple more chapters to go if it pans out like I hope. Thank you for reading - it always means a lot xx