Chapter Four. She was doing so well.

"I'd say, this is the finest dinner I ever had on this ship," Jayne commented, his usually vulgar mouth now stuffed with food. Simon frowned, shaking his head at the man's manners, but everyone else laughed.

"Mathias, you keep this up and I might even discount your fare," Mal added, pointing his fork at their delicious meal.

"We're only gettings sixty three percent of our calcium intake needed, and less than forty eight percent of required daily vitamin B," River interjected pointedly as she took a nibble of potato. Once again, Simon shook his head. Still, she added: "The round ones are my favorite."

"Sorry, it nearly literally kills her to say thank you," Simon added in defense of her absent manners. "She was also raised in a barn." Everyone laughed, including River.

West tilted his head. "You and your sister, you're from the Core, are you not? How did you end up travelling the great big 'verse here on Serenity?" The table fell silent, which did not go unnoticed by West. "Ah. Sore subject, I see."

"No," Mal tried to explain. "Well, kinda-"

"We were wanted fugitives," River deadpanned. "Serenity took us in, protected us. Saved us." Kaylee smiled softly, and Simon reached over and touched River's hand.

"Saved you?" West inquired. "The ship?" River nodded her 'yes' as she took another bite and glanced at her plate.

"It's kind of a long story," Mal interjected awkwardly.

But West wasn't giving up. "Those are my favorite. Maybe I can steal you later to hear this exciting tale?" Mal shrugged, glancing around the table. Simon shrugged, and Zoe pretended as if the conversation wasn't happening.

"Maybe," was all the captain would give.

River sat up straight, and glanced across the table. "Emmaline's hungry." The crew and passengers were quite confused at the addition of this unknown passenger 'Emmaline', but the attention turned to Kiva as she turned a bright shade of red. She hadn't eaten her food yet, and everyone else was nearly finished.

"Aren't you hungry, dear?" Mathias asked, and she gave a shrug, pushing her food around on her plate a little.

"Well, yeah, I've just been feeling nauseated. I think I need some time to get used to the artificial gravity."

Simon tilted his head to the side. "Wait... Emmaline?" He almost regretted asking.

River fidgeted in her seat as she finished off her potatoes. "The baby. Emmaline." As if this should have obvious to everyone.

Mathias was confused. "But we only officially decided that name before dinner. How could she…?"

Simon interjected, trying to make it sound like this wasn't a big deal. "My sister… well, she's very, er... intuitive. She's also has incredible perception. She can take some getting used to." Kiva stared at River for a short while.

"You remind me of my own sister," Kiva admitted. She was the only one who didn't need any 'getting used to'. She looked at River as if she'd known the girl for her entire life.

"I know," was River's quick reply. "Emma."

Mathias looked around the table, obviously disturbed. "Okay, this is starting to get really weird." All eyes were on River, who was now staring intently at her plate. Simon winced, wishing she wouldn't do this in front of strangers. They'd almost gotten burned at the stake for this once.

Kiva placed a hand on her husband's. "No, honey, it's okay. Emma was like River. She used to say these things all of the time."

"Until she went to the Academy," River noted, and took the final bite of her potatoes. Kiva wasn't shocked at her knowledge, though the same could not be said for the rest of the crew.

"Right. Until she went to the Academy." There was a silence.

"Are you meanin' to tell me that your sister went to the same gorram institution that River did?" Mal questioned, his expression enraged as he set his utensils down.

"Yes. Except Emma…" Kiva folded her hands on the table. The gesture made her seem even smaller. "Well, she never came back."

River shook her head, her face began to contort with pain. Suddenly there were tears in her eyes, and falling down her cheeks. By now, everyone had stopped eating, aside from Jayne.

"Didn't know her," River stated. "Wasn't allowed playtime after..."

"Oh, River…" Simon got up, moving to her side. "I think I should take her to her room."

"Used to hear singing..." River was slipping now, talking too loudly, slipping worse than Mal had seen her since Miranda. The whole scene was disarming for the Captain. He'd gotten used to the idea of River as a strong girl, without breakdowns.

"I think that's a good idea," Mal seconded, moving to her side as well.

"I'm so sorry," Kiva said. It was hurt turn to stare at her plate. "She reminds me so much of her. She's been gone for so long. I didn't mean any harm."

Kaylee busied herself cleaning up after dinner, and Zoe saw the opportunity to help and took it. Mathias comforted his visibly upset wife, and West watched the whole interaction silently, paying close attention.

"Well. Things getting a mite too fuzzy wuzzy for me in here. I'll be in my bunk," Jayne announced after clearing off his plate. Mal and Simon helped River up, who was just about catatonic now, her lips moving and tears continuing to fall. Between the two of them, they were able to remove River from the room.

Once they had gotten to the catwalk, Mal could hear what she was saying. The lightbulb above her room flickered. "Still there. Still singing. Little bird... " Her progression towards catatonia was incredibly painful to watch. An ache pulled at his chest, gnawed at his stomach.

After they'd tucked her into bed and left her room, Simon sighed, running a hand over his brow. Mal couldn't tell if his medic was disappointed in himself or at her. "She was doing so well."

"Well, even us normal folk all have bad days," Mal offered as a consolation, scratching the back of his neck. "Maybe River's are just worse than most folk. What are the odds, though? How many a' those kids did the Academy take?"

Simon shrugged, still shaken from dinner. "Twenty, thirty maybe. But there was also a morgue. Some of the 'pupils' couldn't handle what they did… some died in training. Others on the operating table. They were pushing these kids to their limits. You see what they did to River, and she was their 'star pupil'."

Mal shuddered. "I say we leave her be for now. We'll keep an eye out in case she gets into anythin' like she used to. I know she's gotten better, but I ain't seen her like this in a while. I just wanna make sure everyone's safe." Eventually, Simon begrudgingly agreed.

Mal made his way back to the common area. The dining area had cleared out except for West, who waited with a cup of coffee, just as promised.

"West, ain't it?" Mal asked, pouring himself a cuppa.

"That's right, Captain. Weston Oro." Malcolm remembered River reciting his whole name to him earlier that afternoon. She really did know everything. "Quite a crew you've got here," West commented, to which Mal agreed easily. "Seems like you've been through alot together." A war-hardened, silently grieving widow, a trigger-hungry hired gun with a bad attitude, a permanently worried and paranoid medic, and a highly gifted mechanic who was in love with the doc. Oh, and not to mention his psychic, mind-boggling and sometimes unstable weapon of a pilot that invaded his dreams. Yeah, they were certainly a sight to see.

West's words interrupted his thoughts. "I hope you don't mind, but I looked you up on my personal Cortex. Saw you fought in the war for Independence. I respect that. I grew up on the Core, but only because my parents hitched a ride to Beaumonde from a dying Rim planet when I was three. I know the system isn't perfect."

"You got that right," Mal replied, shaking his head. He eyed the writer curiously. "What're you after?"

West grinned. "Ahh, I was hoping you'd ask me that. I'm after a story, Captain. Not just any story. The story. I want to start with yours."

Mal chuckled. "It ain't a pretty one," was his reply. His smile faded as a thought crossed his mind. "If'n I tell you my story, you gonna put it in a fanciful book for all the 'Verse to see?"

"That's the idea," West replied, giving him a hard sell. "I'd do it with respect to you. I could spin it as fiction, change the names. Granted, even so, not many want their story out there. Tell you what. If you tell it all to me now, but you say you don't want me to write it, I'd still love to hear it."

Mal took another swig of coffee. "Well… I don't know what more damage it could do. For me, it started on Shadow…" he began, but stopped, noticing his empty cup. "We're gonna to need to brew another pot. "

"And the Operative just let you go?" West questioned with disbelief.

"Said we'd never see him again. And we ain't. Of course, I said if I ever did see him again, I'd kill him, so…"

It was three in the morning on the ship's time. At about one, Zoe had joined them, unable to sleep, though she proved to be an interesting additional storyteller. West had remarked that it seemed like they'd been telling stories together for many years, and had even inquired about a romantic relationship between the two of them. Zoe was quick set him straight, and though it pained her to talk about Wash, she made herself do it, for her late husband's sake. "He was a great man, and I never told him so. Least I can do now is honor him and his memory," she'd explained.

West sat in silence for a few moments. "Wow. I've never heard a tale like this before." He took his glasses off, wiped the lenses with a cloth, and placed them on his nose again. "It would take a storyteller much greater than I to do it justice."

There was a knock at her door.

"River?" A soft voice, floating along. River pressed her face into her pillow and counted. Would she leave just leave if she ignored her?

"River, are you in there?"

She wouldn't.

Taking a deep breath, she got up and opened her door. There stood an apprehensive Kiva, her belly hardly covered by a long white tee shirt that fell over her black pants.

"I don't know anything." River's words were low as she stared at her bare feet. "You came to ask about your sister. I don't know anything."

"Do you mind if I come in?" Kiva inquired, ignoring her statement. Begrudgingly, River stepped by to let her through. Kiva sunk down onto the bed, heavy. "My feet are killing me."

"She likes it when you relax," River said, taking a seat on the floor in front of the girl. "She likes it when you sing." A small smile crossed the older woman's face.

River touched her toes together, leaning back on her hands. The cold floor grounded her, and kept her centered. "She won't come early. I know you're worried. Family has a hard time with babies being born early, but she is comfortable. Happy." The words seemed to assure Kiva, who softened and relaxed as River spoke. She didn't speak, but waited in silence. "I don't make you nervous," River noticed aloud. "I make everyone nervous. Even my brother. Especially my brother."

Kiva shook her head. "My sister went to the Academy six years ago. She was just a girl, only thirteen. But even before her letters started sounding strange, she was an odd one. Always knew what I would do before I did it. Was an awful brat about it, actually, but she was crazy smart. Emma was a prodigy on the piano."

"Made you look bad," River added, wondering at what point she would make her uncomfortable enough to leave. Kiva acknowledged this with a nod, looking into her lap. "You resented her. You were jealous. But... you loved her."

"You never know what you have until it's lost." Kiva turned to the younger girl, eyes brimming with tears. "Will I ever see her again? Will she ever come home?"

River shook her head, certain. "No. The Academy is where boys and girls go to die. You may see a girl named Emma again. You may look in her eyes and see the eyes you know, but she will never come home. She'll live in the Academy, like I did. And she will die there. They were kind to me, the Hands, compared to her. Compared to some of the others. Simon thinks I had it bad. He feels agony that I won't tell them what they did. But I don't think he could handle the truth." A tear fell down Kiva's cheek. River paused, almost hesitant to tell her what was next. "Her heart is still beating. But she doesn't sing." Kiva nodded, accepting what River told her. "My brother gave up everything to find me. He found me broken. It was hard. It still is, even now. I'm not a normal girl. I'm… I get confused. Words come out in riddles."

But the older woman didn't ask questions or pry. Instead she simply reached out and touched one of River's paintings on the wall. "I understand what you mean. Emma's letters sounded like gibberish, before they stopped last year. I just wish I could see her face again…"

River was quiet for a short time. "I don't see much of her. I can't hear her voice. But she remains." Kiva wiped the tears off of her cheeks.

"Thank you, River. Could I sit with you for a while?" She asked. River accepted with a nod of her head, even though she'd planned to spend the evening alone. "Emma used to love for me braid her hair," Kiva started, but River had already acquired a brush and hair ties and had started settling down on the bed. River smiled as Kiva gently ran the brush through her hair. Peaceful.

"Always wanted a sister."

Kiva rarely used to talk about her sister. They were close, but sometimes I would see jealousy in her eyes when Kiva would mention her. I never dared bring her up. They'd fallen on hard times since Emma was sent off. Paying for tuition had caused her parents to go completely broke. Their father picked up another job, and it was only after their parents were divorced that they got the letter that Emma had received a full scholarship. Kiva was never quite the same. We've been together since we were young, but I've never even met her sister. I can't believe River knew what she did, or that Kiva was so calm about the whole thing. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if River had known what was going to happen the whole time. Though I can't imagine she did. Not with how it all ended.

Mathias Hare