When Dick wakes up to an empty bed and a note on the dresser, he sighs and thinks about rolling over to go back to sleep. Then he thinks about Nix punishing himself or drinking it out of his mind, and goes to grab a quick shower instead. While he's soaping up his hair, he reflects on the situation.
The thing of it is, Dick had been sure Nix was ready for this. He's been sending Dick anonymous valentines for years, watching his mouth while he eats, touching for just a little bit too long. He's always seemed so conflicted about it, though, so Dick knew he'd have to wait until the time was right, until Nix was ready to have what Dick could give him. He'd thought last night was the night. It was Valentine's Day, after all, and Nix's seemed so interested in Carwood and Ron's blooming relationship that Dick thought things were coming together for him.
It had been a heck of night, too. Nix is a sweet kisser, and a scorcher in bed. They'd even cuddled afterward, which should have been a sure sign that Nix wasn't freaking out. Of course, the note on the dresser that says, "Sorry, but I can't," seems pretty indicative of the exact opposite. Dick thinks if he was any other type of man, he'd be offended. He knows Nix too well, though, and it's nothing personal. Nix just has his own issues he needs to work out. On the other hand, though, there's no reason Dick can't give him a little encouragement.
The worst part about Nix's job is that when he doesn't want to see Dick, he's still literally right outside his office. This is almost never an issue, because they only rarely have fights or anything like that. Nix is a bit high strung, he'll admit it, but Dick is cool and calm and harder to draw into an argument than Mother Teresa. He just takes whatever Nix throws at him and keeps on doing his own thing. Today, though, it's not a fight Nix is worried about.
He spent all weekend avoiding Dick's calls, but today, he's going to have to face him and what they did together. Best case scenario, Dick agrees to just forget about it and they go back to being friends. Nix isn't sure how he would survive without Dick, so that's the scenario he's gunning for. Worst case scenario, though, Dick doesn't want to look at him or touch him and things become incredibly awkward. It was bad enough when Kathy broke up with him, and he couldn't stand her. If Dick doesn't want to be around him anymore, Nix isn't sure how he's going to survive it.
When Dick gets in, though, he makes deliberate eye contact when he says good morning, which gives Nix hope for the best case scenario. He doesn't close his door when he goes into his office, either, also a good sign. Of course, that could be because he wants to be able to see when Speirs and Lip come through to sign their kids out for the big Academic Bowl competition, so he can wish them luck. They deserve the well-wishes, really, because they've worked really hard preparing for this contest. Still, this field trip of theirs means Nix has to monitor to make sure the substitutes show up on time and stuff, which is a total bummer, no matter what the cause.
After the group leaves for the Academic Bowl, Nix and Dick do paperwork the entire rest of the morning, making eye contact periodically, just like every other day. Or rather, Dick does paperwork the whole morning, while Nix does half an hour's worth then pawns the rest of it off onto Grant and plays some solitaire instead. Also like every other day, then. He sees the look Dick gives him at that, but it's more of a "I see what you're doing," look, rather than a "We slept together and now it's awkward," look, so that's alright.
So, yeah, the morning goes okay. Eventually, though, it's time for lunch. Dick stands up and stretches, then walks casually to the door of his office, leaning against the doorframe. He does give Nix a strange look, then, one that probably means something less like "I could go for Chinese good," and closer to "I think we should talk about us fucking," except Dick probably doesn't even think the word 'fucking,' it's probably something much more tame like 'making love.' Pfft, as if Nix needs to screw Dick into the mattress to love him.
Uh, that's not where he thought that train of thought was going, but whatever.
"Want to get Chinese?" Nix asks, anyway, hoping he's misinterpreted something. He absolutely does not want to talk about what happened on Valentine's Day. "I could get it delivered if you don't want to go out."
"I've got a better idea," Dick says, and there's something devious in his voice that makes Nix start to sweat. "Why don't you come into my office?"
"Um… okay," Nix says. He stands up and makes his way around his desk. Dick doesn't move from his spot when Nix passes him, so he's forced to brush right up against him to get into the office. He takes a good look around once he's in there. He doesn't come in here often; usually, Dick comes to him. He's inspecting a picture on Dick's desk of the two of them on a camping trip a few years earlier when he hears Dick say, "Thanks for coming, Nix."
Then he shuts the door. Nix sets the photo back down and turns to face Dick, who's still leaning casually against the door, just watching him. Something in his eyes makes him look like a predator, though, makes Nix feel like he's being hunted. Then Dick locks the door and Nix swallows, nervously. He's not sure what's going on here, but something tickles in the back of his brain, some half-buried memory of being called into the principal's office in boarding school, and he can't help but shiver to think about it.
"I think you've been misbehaving, Lewis," Dick says, and that, that's when Nix's brain shuts down and he begins to make poor choices again.
The competition at the Academic Bowl is tough. There are twenty-four other teams from the region, and they all look like they've been preparing for months, too. Carwood's kids aren't scared, though. Some of the newer ones seem kinda nervous, but they'll pull through, he knows from experience. Even if they don't win today, they're all going to do their absolute best and go home satisfied.
Ron's gone quiet again, not much surprise considering how he gets in crowds, but he doesn't seem to be radiating any disapproval or anxiety, so Carwood figures it's probably safe to leave him with the kids while he goes to sign them in. He smiles for the pretty young lady managing the sign-in sheet, because it never hurts to be polite, and she smiles back when she gives him the team's number. They're in the third showdown, which isn't bad, because it'll give them plenty of time to regroup if they move on to the next round in the competition.
When Carwood gets back to the group, they're all talking together excitedly, sizing up the other teams and doing quick reviews of information they think might be necessary. Or, well, that's what the kids are all doing. Ron is staring moodily over Carwood's shoulder.
"What are you looking at?" Carwood asks, idly curious. He didn't see anything when he was over there that would necessitate that kind of a reaction. He turns to look again, just to make sure, but all he sees is the sign-in lady, though she is looking pretty unsettled about something and is resolutely avoiding looking in this direction. Ron just shakes his head in answer to the question, though, so Carwood lets it go and goes to give his team a pep talk.
"Okay, guys," he says, getting them all into a huddle. "We've worked for this for months, and today, we're going to go out there and do our best, nothing more, nothing less. If we win, fantastic, the school will pay for us to have a pizza party or something. If we don't win, I'll know that all of you did your absolute best, and we can have pizza anyway, my treat."
"Pizza," Skip repeats, reverently, and Carwood smiles; he knew that was a selling point.
He makes his line-up after that. For the first round, he sends a mixture of his heavy hitters and his rookies: Bull, Malarkey, Luz, Shifty Powers and Babe. Babe's the youngest of them and the newest to the team, so Carwood keeps an eye on him as the first and second showdowns play through. He seems fine, though, calm if a bit nervous. And when he gets up to go to the table for their turn, Eugene Roe stands up, too, and kisses him for good luck, right there in front of representatives from twenty-four other schools. It's nothing scandalous, just a peck on the lips, but Carwood feels pleased at how open they're being, how well their relationship seems to be working out. Academic Bowl, he thinks, fondly, bringing people together since 1953.
The kiss must work, because they knock it out of the park that round, and in the next one, too. Perconte and Luz do some kind of complicated handshake after their third round victory, and then they're in the finals. It's an intense round, more so than the others leading up to it. There are some definite misses, too, ones that he can see his kids kicking themselves for. Webster freezes up once, on a question about Shakespeare, even though Carwood knows for a fact he knows the answer, and Skip accidently says "Bulgaria" instead of "Romania" in one question about the Red Army. Other than that, though, they do really well.
Just not well enough.
"Second place isn't bad, guys," he tells them afterward, as they're all sitting dejectedly on the bleachers, watching the volunteers clean the place up. He sees Ron pat Perconte consolingly on the shoulder, and it makes him feel warm and pleased. "It's great, in fact. Out of twenty-four teams here, only one of them was able to beat us. I'm proud of all of you, not just for trying your best, but for doing something that twenty-three other teams couldn't do. Seriously, good job, boys."
It's not much consolation, he knows, but he promised them a pizza party, so there's that, at least. He'll do it next week, once they've all had time to process their loss and turn it into a victory in their minds. They'll all be happier about it by that point and more than determined to try harder next year.
"Let's pack it in," he says at last, and herds them all toward the door.
On the bus ride back to the school, all the kids crowd at the back. They're still pretty down, so Carwood and Ron sit up front to give them privacy.
"They did well," Ron says, and Carwood thinks it might be the first thing he's said all day.
"Yeah," he agrees. "And they'll do better next year. Will you be interested in helping out again, do you think?"
He sounds hopeful, he knows, but that's okay. He never wants to pressure Ron into anything, but Ron should know how much Carwood wants to be around him.
Ron doesn't answer, though. Instead, he takes a deep, sharp breath, looks Carwood right in the eyes and blurts out, "I scared away your dates."
"What?" Carwood asks, laughing a bit. Ron's so weird sometimes.
"Your dates," Ron repeats. "They kept leaving half-way through the night. It wasn't you. It was me. I…I'm sorry."
Carwood sobers up a bit at that. "Oh," he says, softly. It makes a lot of sense, actually. He never had dating troubles until around the time that Ron started teaching at Eisenhower. And there was that one time, when his date didn't even show up, that he'd had dinner with Ron instead. He never even thought to wonder why Ron was there that night, just a few tables away. Actually, it's a relief, in a way. Despite everything Ron had said to him that night, Carwood had been still half-convinced he wasn't good enough to make his dates stay. Now he knows it wasn't him at all.
"Why, though?" he asks, not angry, just confused.
"They didn't deserve your smiles," Ron says, quiet and intense. "I wanted you to smile at me."
It's actually pretty sweet, Carwood thinks and he does smile, then, right at Ron, who's so adorably misguided sometimes. "Do you want to come over tonight?" he asks. "As a date?"
"Yes," Ron says immediately. He looks like he's gearing up to say something else, too, but then there's a yell and a scuffle at the back of the bus and Carwood has to go back there to deal with it. Kids, he thinks, and keeps on smiling.
"I can't believe we just fucked over your desk," Nix says, panting into Dick's hair as they slump together awkwardly on Dick's office chair.
It's very unusual, Dick'll give him that, but not necessarily unbelievable, especially considering Dick's been planning this encounter all year, ever since he became principal. And even before that, he'd definitely had similar plans for his teacher's desk in his old classroom. He'd just been waiting for the right time put those plans into action.
"I can't believe you walked out on me the morning after we had sex for the first time," he says, instead, because they have to talk about it, it's nonnegotiable.
"I left a note!" Nix says, defensively. "And I'll have you know, that note was straight from the heart."
"Okay," Dick says, agreeably, because there's no point in arguing about this. He doesn't want to wind Nix up, just make him see reason. "But I wish you would have just stayed instead."
"Dick," Nix says, wretchedly, and he starts to disentangle himself to stand up, but stops when Dick puts a hand on his arm. "We can't do this, we just can't. It's going to ruin everything."
"Listen, Lew," Dick says, and he puts everything he's got into his voice, all his love and frustration and hope for this man. "Nothing is going to be ruined, and I can promise you that for a fact, because nothing's changed. I've loved you for years, and just because we had sex doesn't make that untrue. I love you and I've always loved you, and even if we stay just friends or we become everything I know we could be together, I'll still always love you, no matter what."
There's a long, long pause, then Nix breathes, "Years?"
"Years," Dick confirms. "I was waiting for you to be ready. Now's the time, Nix, you're ready for it, now."
"No," Nix says, panic in his voice. "I'm not ready. What if I screw this up? You know how I get."
"You mean screw this up by walking out after our first time together?" Dick asks, innocently. He shouldn't tease, he knows, but it's proving a point, too. Nix looks worried, though, so Dick just smiles at him. "I'm kidding, Nix. There's nothing you could do that would make me not love you. That's not speculation, either. We've been friends for years, and I know all of your tricks and all of your landmines. I can tell you right now, that short of cheating on me, there is absolutely no way for you to mess this up."
He lets this all sink in for a few minutes and feels pleased when Nix's shoulders relax a bit. He's known since that very first year teaching here that he wanted to end up with this man, and now, here they are, cuddling naked together while they discuss their relationship. Dick has big plans for the future, getting married, buying a dog, having kids. He wants all of those things and he won't rest until he has them. He can be patient, though, can wait until Nix is ready, because Nix is worth it, always has been.
"Okay," Nix says, finally, and grins a little, "but for the record, I did warn you. Now, uh, how do you feel about jewelry?"
"Well," Dick says, carefully but also so truthfully, "I've always been a sucker for a wedding band."
"Perfect," Nix says, and leans back into kiss him.
Ron shows up exactly on time at Carwood's apartment that night, wearing his nicest pair of jeans and a polo shirt. He feels stupid about it, about being dressed up, but Car's other dates, the ones who didn't deserve him, they always dressed up, so Ron does, too. He's been waiting and waiting for this, ever since they first met and Car smiled at him so sweetly. And now that he's finally here, finally on a date with this man, he's not sure he's not going to mess it up.
He's on his absolute best behavior, as Car invites him in and leads him into the kitchen. Dinner's already cooked, and Ron only feels a little sad that he won't get to cook with Car, because the food looks really good, and so does Car. He's dressed up, too, in a blue button-down and slacks. The way the shirt looks on his shoulders makes Ron's breath catch every time he sees it. Car's using the smile, too, the one that's just for Ron, and that, that's when he forgets all about his best behavior.
They talk about the Academic Bowl team while they eat. Car does most of the talking, but that's the way Ron likes it. He never feels pressured to talk around Car, he can just do it or not, and either way is fine. He does have things to say about this, though, and he doesn't feel awkward when he says them. His list of favorite things about Car is long enough that he actually has to write it down, (and after tonight it will include that blue shirt) but no matter how it gets re-ordered, his easiness to talk to is always in the top five.
Eventually, after they're done eating, Car looks up at Ron from beneath his eyelashes. He's got a smile on that Ron's never seen before, one that's shy and hungry in equal parts. "Want to go to bed?" he asks, and Ron's all about that.
They walk to bedroom together, and Ron doesn't mind when Car takes his hand as they walk. Inside the room, it's awkward for minute, but Ron's used to awkward, lives with it every day of his life, so he doesn't let it get to him. He just steps in close and kisses Car.
It's sweet, the kiss, soft in a way that makes the warmth in Ron's stomach spread out to his fingertips. He fumbles with Car's shirt after a few minutes of kissing. It's a shame to take the thing off, but he wants to feel the skin underneath it. Car takes the hint, gets rid of his shirt then helps Ron with his. They separate for a minute to kick out of their pants, then Car grabs Ron's hand again and pulls him over to the bed, has him sit down on it. Then Car sinks down onto his knees.
Ron didn't know, before tonight, that the same mouth that smiles in all those different ways could also do this. It's a sloppy blowjob, obviously unpracticed, but it's good, so incredibly good. It takes every bit of self-control Ron has to not buck up into the wet heat of Car's mouth, to keep his hold on the back of Car's head gentle and not demanding. He forgets to be quiet, though, and he knows he's making stupid noises as he gets closer to coming.
"Wait," he pants, remembering what else he could have. The possibilities make his head spin. "I want to fuck you."
Car pulls back slowly, smiles up at him. "Okay," he says, agreeably, voice hoarse. He stands, blushing a bit, and grabs what he needs out of the bedside table drawer.
The noises Car makes when Ron pulls him down to lie on the bed and crawls over him are soft and dirty. They're music to Ron's ears as he gets his fingers wet and gets one, then two inside Car. He works his way up to three, while Car whimpers and pushes back against him.
"Ron, please," Car says finally, desperate and needy. Car is so rarely desperate for anything, always calm and in control, so Ron rewards the tone of his voice by rolling the condom on, slicking himself up and sliding inside.
It's everything he thought it would be, tight and heat and that warm feeling he knows now means love. It's that feeling he concentrates on as he rolls his hips forward, keeping himself steady and focused. Still, he knows he's not going to last long, not after so long of wishing he could have this, so he works quickly to find the angle he needs. It takes a few tries, but he gets it. He goes hard and fast, and Car just opens around him, pushes back up against him, cries out so nicely when Ron strokes his cock. It's beautiful, all of it, and when Car screws up his eyes and comes, well, Ron doesn't last too long after that.
They lie together afterward, something Ron's never done with anyone before. He wishes he could think of something to say, something profound that would make Car smile at him. Apparently he doesn't need to say anything, though, because after a while Car smiles at him unprompted.
"You're a good guy," he says, "And I really like you."
I love you, Ron thinks, but can't say it. Not yet, anyway. Car looks like he knows what Ron's thinking, though, so that's okay. The warm feeling never really goes away these days, and it gets warmer when Car's around, which is almost all the time. He feels it, and he knows what it is, and Car knows how he feels, so even if he can't say it, yet, it's okay, they've got time. It's only March and there's the rest of this year to finish. And as for next year, Winters already told him the school board is looking to make him a permanent teacher, not just an interim one. So that's this year, and the next, and after that there's a whole lifetime of school years. Summers, too, when they can spend every day together without any interruptions. He's thinking of forever, because this situation may be new, but it's real in a way he never even could have imagined before meeting Car. He thinks Car smiling at him every day for the rest of their lives and thinks, yes. They've got time.