The last time the three of them had sat round the kitchen table Clara could not have wished the wasp far enough away. She and the Doctor had barely been together romantically a few days when he had appeared as an emissary at their door and dragged them to the Anushri world only to find a huge rift in time that needed sealing and an adventure that nearly cost all their lives. She had resented him for a time before she had got to know him properly, him and his alternate on the other side of the rift.

Now six months of her time on, Clara poured the tea again and smiled at the gangly yellow and black creature who was petting the Maltheus his people had made for the Doctor. She had come to consider him quite the friend, up there with Vastra and Jenny when it came to associates they had encountered on their journeys. She added two sugars to Eck's drink and began adding several more to the Doctor's to save him having to find the sugar bowl. As she spooned in the sixth, seventh and eighth spoonfuls she began to realise what a relief it was to have Eck in her kitchen to distract and occupy both of them. It had been a long two weeks, a fortnight full of worry and anticipation that the Doctor's sight might not improve, fourteen days of his mood swinging from relaxed to irritable and her trying to keep up a bright but fatiguing optimism.

It was harder now that they were joined mentally. In the past she could paint on a smile and try to fool him but since their relationship had developed she and he shared a telepathic link which was unshakable. She remembered how strongly she had felt it in the rift, how she had felt his pain and his emotions, how she had panicked when he had fallen silent in her head and she had believed him dead. Since then he had shown her how to better master the link. Clara knew now how to maintain some of her privacy if she wished to and how to block out some of his endlessly rambling thought processes and calculations, but it was hard work for a novice and she had limitations.

The Doctor in general was a gentleman and didn't pry, and he was a natural recluse who hid some of his deeper thoughts from her. If he didn't want her to see, she couldn't, which left him with a rather unfair advantage when she knew that he had the skills to knock down her walls whenever he needed to. She trusted him not to force those walls over but right now she was certain he could feel her worrying and fretting that things were not improving and on top of that she had been keeping thoughts of their baby under wraps, apparently unsuccessfully. As she sipped her tea she suddenly realised just how exhausted she felt trying to keep everything under control and let out an involuntary sigh.

'Control freak,' the Doctor whispered in her direction.

'What?!'

'It's OK, just let the walls down now, it must have been hard work…'

'I…'

'Just relax, all that effort and stress…. It's not what you need.'

She could almost hear him add in your condition. Clara glared at him, the patronising idiot. 'I'm fine,' she insisted. 'And It's still really creepy when you do that by the way...'

'When I do what?'

'Read my mind…'

'Hard not to at the moment…' he drew a breath and pursed his lips 'Loud… Hormonal… I get it.'

Clara felt her cheeks flush with annoyance before Eck coughed subtly and drew them back into the room. 'Your home is as ever very tasteful,' he said pleasantly with a slightly pleading look at his hostess.

'Sorry Eck,' she said, 'Bickering is a way of life for us. How's the tea?'

'Most refreshing,' he grinned, the ridges of his insectoid gums showing, 'And I see Fido has grown! So pleased he turned out well, he was a bit of an experiment for our scientists, the first of his kind we'd ever made.' Eck patted the spider dog's head. 'They've become quite popular back home, once everyone knew the Doctor had one they became quite the fashion!'

Clara thought back to the planet and the Doctor –worship she had seen there. First his dress sense and now his pet. Well whatever made them happy.

'That's nice. He's turned out to be very useful for us given…' Clara glanced at the Doctor, 'Well given what's happened recently. I never knew they could be used as guidedogs but it turns out he has all sorts of talents.'

'Hopefully he won't need to use them long,' Eck said. 'Such an awful thing to occur.' The Doctor huffed over his tea, irritation mounting.

'Can we stop being all whimsy over my current handicap and discuss why you came here?' he asked edgily.

'I would like to offer my assistance to you, Doctor,' Eck said solemnly.

'That isn't why you came,' the Doctor said.

'Just hear him out,' was Clara's remark.

'Please… you are right I came for assistance but it would not be right of me to demand it when you are thus hindered. I therefore could not possibly insist on drawing on your resources now when your own health must come first.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes and sighed. 'Well I'm very sorry you feel that way because this blindness doesn't appear to be going anywhere very fast so for the foreseeable future, if you pardon the pun, I'm incapacitated. In fact why don't we do a quick scan and see just how long that future is, I've been meaning to check and then you can try again when I'm more use.'

'Doctor calm down, 'Clara said laying a hand on his arm.

'No clearly I'm no good to anyone like this,' he snapped and she felt a jerk of emotion from his mind, 'Seeing as you both feel compelled to tiptoe around me, protecting me and 'assisting' me until I'm 'better.' What if I don't get better? What if this is it?'

He had stood up mid rant and was leaning over the table on both hands, his two companions looking up at him slightly askance at the sudden outburst. Clara let her mind slowly approach his and caught a glimpse of what he was feeling before his walls slammed up and physically pushed her backwards, she felt the air go from her lungs.

'It's one sense,' The Doctor went on, one. I have others, I have several actually. I have more than both of you, I'm telepathic, I can deal with being blind…. Now can we please,' he exhaled suddenly and dropped his empty gaze to the table, head bowed before pulling himself upright again and sliding back into his chair. 'Can we please talk about your planet, Eck?'

Clara heard the rattle of Eck's tea cup as he replaced it in his saucer nervously. 'Of course,' he said quietly, 'Forgive me, I meant no offence.' He folded his claws over themselves and sat neatly opposite the Doctor. Clara glared at her sightless partner.

'He was only trying to help,' she said lowly.

The Doctor passed a hand over his face, 'I know… sorry…' he said shortly. He waved a hand in the direction of the wasp. ' Eck… please…'

Eck glanced at Clara who gave him an encouraging and rather apologetic smile. 'It's a rather long tale,' he started, 'It took us a long time to realise that something was wrong, it crept up on us so gradually, and by the time we saw the true extend of the damage… it was too late…'

XXXXXXX

It made sense she supposed. Clara stopped to listen to the odd wheezing sound coming from the living area. She flicked off the kitchen lights and shuffled in her slippers to the bottom of the stairs, the noise getting louder to her left where Eck lay cocooned in a blanket on their couch.

Bzzzzzz

He was snoring. Except it sounded more like buzzing. She covered her mouth and tried not to laugh. She shouldn't laugh, she should be use to weird things by now, and he'd had a terrible day. Crash landing his shuttle, having to go over the last twenty years of Anushri history in distressing detail, getting snapped at by the increasingly irritable Doctor. Clara's giggle left her, poor Eck he had actually had had a rotten day and the Doctor in his usual manner had not helped. Just when she began to think he was developing people skills he let the side down again.

Maybe she was being harsh. He had things on his mind. She had seen the things and felt glimpses of the emotions earlier but really it was no excuse to be mean to Eck who was an all round good soul who genuinely wanted to help, who genuinely might be able to. And if the Doctor was feeling that bad well then he should speak to her, tell her, communicate. She looked down at the ring she wore on her left hand, half of his own given to her when he didn't feel he would survive. Communicate. They had survived worse than this, surely he had learned by now.

Clara climbed the stairs to their room and closed the door behind her. Fido was warm in his basket in the hall, out cold from all the excitement, eight paws in the air twitching in a dreamstate and his tongue lolling to one side. He made squeaky noises in his sleep punctuated by the occasional low growl.

'He's chasing one of my frogs,' The Doctor commented from the bed where he was stretched out still fully dressed, hands behind his head. 'One of the orange ones, its going round and round a pond eluding him.'

'You can see his dreams?' Clara asked.

'I can. In a lot more detail than the daytime stuff he transmits. He's completely scatty. If he would just focus I might be able to achieve fifty percent vision from our link but he's so easily distracted he never channels like he's supposed to. It's all blobby and dark and he's always looking in the wrong direction.'

'He's still just a puppy and he's never had training,' Clara said kicking her slippers off, 'He's not doing badly considering, and he's keen. Stops you walking into things anyway.'

She heard him sigh, 'Yes well that's enough Maltheus dreamscape for one night, the colours are lurid and it's making me dizzy. I'll reconnect tomorrow.' He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Clara slipped under the covers and peered at him. 'Are you coming to bed properly? Because I'd like to turn the light out, I'm tired.'

'Yes you will be,' he said, his voice slightly more gentle than it had been all day. He slipped a hand over hers and rubbed softly with his thumb. Clara felt his psychic walls shift a little.

'You want to talk?' she tried. The Doctor's jaw clenched.

'You're tired,' he made the excuse. 'But… I'll apologise properly to Eck tomorrow, I've been… pretty bad company.'

'You're often grumpy he's used to that.'

The Doctor let his head rest against the headboard of the bed and stared unseeing at the ceiling. 'Still…' he said.

'He'll appreciate it,' Clara patted his hand and turned for the light.

'I should apologise to you too.'

She turned back. 'It's OK it's been difficult for you…'

'You don't mean that, come on tell me off…'

Clara snorted, 'OK you deserve to be told off you've been grumpy and rude and irritable.' He smiled thinly at her response, 'But I can forgive you a lot because I love you… and because you're scared.'

There was a tiny movement in the muscles of his face but he didn't look away from the ceiling and Clara waited quietly by his side. She felt his walls lower a little more and watched his throat bob as he swallowed.

'It's not getting better,' he said at last. 'There's significant damage.'

'You don't know that…'

'I do…' he paused. 'I… did a scan…'

'When?!'

'You and Eck were chattering in the kitchen, I nipped out to the TARDIS.'

'Doctor! Why didn't you say? I would have come with you!'

'I don't need you to hold my hand all the time. I just needed to know so we… I could figure out how to help Eck best. His people are in a lot of trouble, they can't afford to wait around for me to be fixed. No I needed to know one way or the other. I have ways I can help Eck with or without my sight, I need to know what I'm dealing with.'

Clara listened with the distinct feeling he was trying to convince himself more than her of his reasons. The emotions flickering in his mind told her that actually fear and the passage of time had pushed him. He hated feeling vulnerable and the arrival of Eck, a new witness to his vulnerability had forced his hand. Clara felt a little twist at her heart, they'd been in limbo, now blindness felt like reality.

'So…?' she asked despite herself.

He hesitated. 'Not good. Not as temporary as we thought…'

'Permanent?' she couldn't keep the panic from her voice.

'Possibly…'

'How possibly?'

'Possibly enough for me to be scared,' he said quietly.

Clara watched his face for a moment longer, bare in the warm light of their room, unseeing, the emotions flitting across its surface like sunlight on water. She felt her eyes burn and in reflex pressed her hand to her belly.

'It has to be a mistake,' she said, 'That species, you said…'

'I know, there's never been a case before of permanent harm from the venom… maybe they evolved, more deadly, better defences…. But there's no arguing with the damage.'

'Well there has to be a way to fix it…' she said more firmly, ' I spoke to Eck… he was a herbalist remember, he was the one who made those potions, the ones that healed you in the rift, saved you. If he did it then he can do it again.'

'Maybe,' his voice was low and unconvinced, immediately defeating her attempt at a solution.

'Worth a shot though yes?' she tried again.

'Turn out the light,' he said.

She'd speak to Eck, they'd work it out, she couldn't just sit by and watch him be blinded for life. Eck had already said he would help and that was a starting point and honestly they'd had trickier puzzle than this to solve. Clara made a mental resolution and swallowed it down over the churning in her stomach.

'Clara? You haven't moved so I'm assuming the light is still on. Get some sleep.'

'Right…. Aren't you going to get undressed?'

'I probably won't sleep…'

'You should still try and rest, your eyes might be trying to heal for all you know, try… please...'

Clara watched as a thoughtful sadness settled over his features as shadows. He nodded shortly as though remembering that this was the next stage of his routine and lifted his hand to his the fastenings of his shirt. 'Heal… yes…' he muttered. His sightless blue eyes flickered aimlessly over the space in front of him as he gradually peeled away his clothes, Clara retrieving and folding them nearby between his slowed movements. Finally he joined her under the covers and the light was extinguished.

In the darkness she curled against him, her head on his chest and kissed the space between his hearts. She felt him shift and tilt her body away from him slightly before his hand traced down over her stomach and came to rest on her slightly swollen belly. The difference to her figure was still subtle and a stranger would not have known but his fingertips had come to map her skin and curves to memory over the months and he traced each difference in shape and contour. Instinctively Clara angled her head up and placed a kiss on his lips, the final remnants of his protective walls coming away and allowing her to join him in their telepathic link. She watched the colours swirl together and felt him push deeper, seeking permission to enter her.

It always felt right and special, something shared that only they could understand. From the first powerful links they had formed a few months before, links that had threatened to overwhelm both of them, they had practiced and perfected their movements, held the essence of one another suspended and safe, wrapped in the golden light that he had explained to her as life force and from which she now knew their child had been created. Here again Clara felt herself open to the Doctor, ready to accept him in both mind and body, her skin tingling with the anticipation of his touch.

But something was different this time and it took a moment to realise that warmth was spreading from the hand that laid on her belly and penetrating deep into her body. The distinctive colours she had come to recognise as him now merged with a different set, similar and yet distinct, tinted with the shades of her own being. Once visible she couldn't take her mind's eye from them, they entranced her as perfect flawless parts of a hitherto hidden creature that somehow only he was able to reveal to her despite its home inside her. After a moment the Doctor pulled back from their kiss and rested his forehead against hers, let his hand slip around her back and pulled her close.

'Can you see her?' Clara asked, 'She's a mix of you and me, do you see?'

The warmth settled inside her and Clara felt the Doctor cup her face softly, his fingers touching her temples as they always did before they joined and made love.

'I see her,' he said, 'Right now Clara she is all I can see.'

She pressed her lips together refusing to cry. 'It's going to be OK,' she whispered.

What if he never sees her? Never sees her face?

He shook his head against her slightly.

'I promise it'll be OK,' she said again.

He leaned forward and captured her kiss before she could say more and before any tears could fall, rolling her smoothly so that he was above her, pressing down urgently into her body, the darkness of the room and of his sight highlighting each touch to both of them, focusing them on the colours they were sharing and the sensations of one another's hands and lips. His usual slow style was abandoned and Clara sensed a rising need, a desperation as his fear chased him towards her, his only respite, his safety. He needed her and as ever there was a part of him always afraid she wouldn't be there. Sometimes he seemed he was confidence itself but so often as now she could hear his own doubts, never good enough, one day she'd see, don't leave me. He was flawed, so flawed, and now he was damaged too and it trebled his fear, triggered it again, undid the work of months of reassurance.

Clara pulled him down over her and angled is hips, kissed him deeply, murmured what he found hard to say.

'I need you. You're everything I need, please Doctor.'

He slid inside her body, she felt his breath at her temple, the hammer of his hearts against her chest and sensed his arousal helix suddenly, catching in the back of his throat, urging his hips forward roughly, the air now punctuated with short hard noises of need until something suddenly gave way and he stiffened above her, gasping, his ragged breathing changing finally, becoming softer with each exhalation.

'Sorry… sorry…' he sounded distraught, like he might break down entirely. What was going on?

'It's OK… shhh..' Clara gently rubbed his back, over the healing scars the poisoned claws had left there, worked her fingers up into his hair and held him steady, 'Don't be silly it's OK.'

'I didn't… I shouldn't have….' he started, 'Oh…'

In a moment she felt him jerk backward, scramble off her body, kneel in the dark on the bed.

'Doctor?' Clara squinted, just able to make out his figure, leaning on one hand, the other at his head, the sound of discomfort coming from his chest. 'Doctor what is it? Your wounds? Your head? Tell me...'

Suddenly she saw it, as his neck extended and his mouth opened, as his whole upper body tensed. The golden light spilled over his skin, wrapping itself around his arms and chest, whirling and then suddenly contracting down again. Regeneration. New body, new eyes.

'No!' Clara shrieked, 'No, don't you dare! We can fix this you don't have to do that! '

But the light had shifted, folded in on itself and moved, it didn't trickle along his fingers or burn at his chest any longer but centred on his eyes.

'Life force Clara, remember… not the same thing.'

She clutched a pillow to her, looked frantically at the Doctor, the golden light undulating now quite clearly from his face.

'Yeah… I remember…. Regeneration energy…. Same stuff as life force… you can sometimes come over all glowly when we do this but this looks a bit weird… it's all focused it's…'

'I'm trying to focus it that's why… I'm trying to heal,' he said, 'Its OK…'

'Oh,' Clara closed her mouth and waited. She watched as the light grew more intense. The Doctor's eyes were open but she could no longer see any colour in them, it was as though they were windows onto something else, something completely inhuman but utterly beautiful. As she watched he leaned forward again, bracing his weight on his arms, the light starting to dim and wane as his energy was eaten up by his healing process. Gradually the room went dark.

'Did it work?' Clara said after a beat.

She heard him shuffle a little closer towards her, lean past her body and reach for the lightswitch. Clara squinted against it and looked as quickly as she could at the Doctor who remained eyes shut, tangled in the sheets kneeling before her.

'Open your eyes,' she said filled with sudden optimism, 'Slowly, its bright…'

'Clara if this hasn't worked.'

'It will have worked… brilliant idea… you're brilliant by the way…' she impulsively kissed him on the cheek nerves fluttering in her guts, 'Clever, clever boy, brilliant.' He smiled shyly and slowly began to open his eyes, blinking slightly.

'Well?' Clara said impatiently, 'Are you going to have to look at my ridiculously large face again? Well?' her voice cracked a little. She felt sick, he wasn't looking at her, he was looking past her.

'No,' he said softly.

He wasn't looking at anything at all.

'You might as well turn the light out again, Clara, it hasn't worked.'

She felt her smile fall and the muscles in her face ached with its ghost. It wasn't long before her eyes felt wet and hot.

'Not even a little?' she asked.

'No.'

She watched him position himself back under the covers, tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

'It was a nice idea,' he said, 'But a longshot… I'm sorry that I…. I should have told you what I was thinking of doing… I just didn't know if I could generate enough of the energy… and I couldn't in the end…. There's too much damage. I… I didn't want to get your hopes up.'

Clara fumbled with the light and in the darkness curled behind him. 'It's OK, you had to try.' She felt his hand cover hers on his stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut and trapped her tears. 'It was still a brilliant idea,' Clara whispered, biting hard on her lip, the feel of his aching disappointment escaping from behind his walls even as he tried to build them and shield her from it.

'I'm sorry,' he said weakly.

Behind her own walls, as he fell into an exhausted sleep, Clara made a vow to find a cure.