'A/N:
So this one... I didn't know how to make it a Why You Should Never, so... random title that applies to very little of what's going on.
Also, not one of the most entertaining or prominant strings we've had, but I can't find the chain where we all get drunk to finish that up, os you get this instead. And Fun Fact: I have corrupted every kid Naffy has ever babysat, fictional and nonfictional :3
Why You Should Never...
...Let Naffy Babysit
It was a quiet day, and the Host(ess) Clubs were sitting down after a productive evening. It was right before their meeting, so that were all chilling before they were to go to the Hitachiin Mansion. Naffy was on the phone on one end of the room and the rest of them were lounging on a cluster of couches in the middle of the room.
Getting off the phone, Naffy walked over to where the other were.
"Hey guys..." She started nervously.
"Yeah?" Liz answered, glad for the momentary distraction from their boring previous conversation about some movie she hadn't bothered to go see.
"Well, uh, you know how, uh, Tino and Berwald are out for the weekend..." Naffy replied.
"Yes..."
"And you know how I can never, uh, back down from a um challenge...?" The crowd was becoming increasingly worried.
"Yes..." Kimi prompted suspiciously.
"Uh, well" Naffy started to talk really fast. "That was Matthias (Denmark) and he said he had the ok from tino to have someone else watch Peter and uh he asked me and at first I was like no, but then he was like, you're right, betcha can't handle it and then-"
Suddenly, a very small blonde burst through the doors of the music room.
"I'M HERE! Now we can get this party started!"
"You didn't." The entire Host(ess) Club (excepting Kyoya and Kimi) looked horrified. Kimi facepalmed, and Kyoya wrote in his notebook.
Naffy just sweatdropped nevously.
Now that Sealand was to be babysat by Naffy, it was only a matter of Naffy actually babysitting. This was more of a problem than expected.
"Hey Peter! I bet you can't jump out the window and still live-"
"Okay, how bout you join Hunny for some tea...?" Kimi offered, steering Peter away from Naffy and towards the other two small blondes in the room.
"But I wanna hang out with you!" He protested. (though Kimi didn't know why, as Naffy had just tried to KILL him.)
"N-" Naffy was about to object, but Kimi cut him off.
"Well who could say no to that face?" Kimi asked rhetorically. She was starting to form a plan.
"I could!" Naffy protested, as Kimi brought him over to sit with them.
"How bout we play a game?" Kimi suggested, ignoring Naffsters.
"You wouldn't!" Naffy looked horrified as she realized what Kimi was doing.
"It's called the innuendo game!' Kimi smiled as Naffy glared at her. "You add 'in bed' to the end of every sentence in your mind and then laugh cuz it's immensely funny!"
"Hahaha! That sounds like fun!" Peter replied, laughing.
"Why do you insist on corrupting the innocence of all the kids I babysit?" Naffy asked indignantly.
"What do you mean?" The Twins inquired as they walked over to the couch, catching the end of the conversation.
"Don't-" Naffy tried to stop Kimi, but she was cut off.
"Well you see..." Kimi started explaining the game to the Twins as they sat down on either side of Naffy.
"Excuse me while I go find a wall to bang my head against repeatedly." Naffy grumbled.
"Oh but we want to spend time with you..." The Twins left the ending open, implying that the innuendo game was meant to be used.
Everyone laughed as Naffy rolled her eyes in frustration.
"Oh, don't start with me-" Naffy threatened.
"Alright-" Hikary smirked.
"Where would you prefer?" Kaoru ended the sentence, his smirk matching his brother's.
Naffy gasped, taken aback by their excessive pervertedness.
"Err, what is wrong with you?" She exclaimed
"Oh come on Naffy, we just want you to play with us-" hikaru said.
"Its no fun playing by yourself" Kaoru added. They both pouted.
"I should think it is..." Naffy replied, a smirk finding its way to her face as well. Everyone burst out in laughter, as they realized what Naffy had just said.
"Alright, let's see...if you don't stop this right now I will murder you all while you're asleep." Naffy stated.
"...that one's not as funny..." Peter pointed out.
"Well seeing as you guys aren't doing much, Naffy and the Twins will take peter, hunny, and lilly back to the hitachiin mansion and keep them entertained-" Kyoya started in his business-like way, before he was cut off by a snicker. It was Kimi. He raised an eyebrow before continuing. "-while the rest of us clean up."
"I'm not doing anythi-" Kimi started.
"You stay with me." Kyoya explained. "We will all meet at the hitachiin mansion to plan for the next few weeks."
"Alrighty, let's go." Kimi replied.
In the limo, Peter was sitting next to the Twins, and Naffy was in the middle of Hunny and Lilly. An awkward silence descended on the group as they stared each other down.
"Are you sure my brother will be ok with this?" Lilly asked, nervous about the boy:girl ratio in the car. Naffy noded
"He trusts me, and plus I have my frying pan" She explained.
"You do?" The twins asked warily. Nafy just smiled.
"So lilly-" Hikaru started.
"Wanna play a game?"
"uh..." Lilly was a little scared of the Twins and their 'game'.
"its a fun game." They insisted, creeping up a little.
"Oh don't you dare" Naffy threatened, brandishing her frying pan.
At the mansion, the group stood in the foyer awkwardly.
"What are we going to do with them?" Naffy asked the Twins
"Hmmmm..." The Twins and Naffy started whispering about what to do next while the Bitty Blondes ((c) Naffy & co.) started chatting amongst themselves.
"Aren't you curious what the game was lilly-chan?" Hunny asked.
"I trust Naffy," Lilly replied loyally. "If she didn't want me to know what it was, she had a reason."
"I guess you're right..." Hunny agreed. Peter grinned, joining the conversation
"I know what the game is." He taunted. Suddenly, Naffy was standing behind Peter, holding her frying pan.
"Peter, do you see this frying pan?" She asked menacingly.
"Yes..." Peter gulped.
"I'd rather return you to your uncle and/or parents in one piece, so please don't make me use it." She threatened.
"O-ok"
Naffy smiled triumphantly at his response.
"What are we going to do Naffy?" Lilly asked Naffy, trying to change the subject.
"We've decided to have a tea-party!" The Twins announced happily.
"Will there be cake?" Hunny inquired hopefully.
"Of course!" Naffy replied, smiling broadly at Hunny's cuteness.
"Hmmm..." The Twins looked around at everyones outfits. "We're just for a tea party..." They turned to Lilly. "And you're dressed for a tea party..." They then examined Hunny and Peter. "And you're both dressed for a tea party, but ..." Finally, they turned to Naffy and smirked. "You're not dressed for a tea party.
"I'm wearing the same thing you are except with a skirt." Naffy defended, crossing her arms.
"Exactly." The Twins replied.
"I'm not you're barbie doll." Naffy insisted.
"We beg to differ." They looked to the small blondes, then to a maid.
"Please set up a tea party," Hikaru started.
"And make sure these three don't get into too much trouble." Kaoru finished, gesturing to the Bitty Blondes ((c) Naffy and co.).
"Yes young masters." The maid curtsied and ushered the small children into another room to play.
The Twins then turned to Naffy and smirked.
"Oh no you don't, stop giving me that look." Naffy said, backing away. "You're not giving me a makeover and you are most certainly not putting me-"
. . .
"-In a lollita dress." Naffy finished, stepping out of the changing room and sighing. She was now in pastel blue lollita dress/complete outfit (ruffly socks and gloves and mary janes and all) with her hair done in curly pigtails with ribbons and makeup on her face.
"Much better." The Twins smirked. Naffy just pouted.
"Good-" Hikaru commented.
"You're getting into character." Kaoru finished, ignoring Naffy's glare.
"Now now," Hikaru partonized. "That would look better on-"
"a gothic lollita" Kaoru said.
"you couldn't at least make it that?" Naffy asked indignantly, desperate to get out of the pastel puff she was currently in.
The Twins looked at each other, surprised. "You'd let us put you in a gothic lollita outfit?"
"Yeah, I mean it's still not my first choice, but its better than pastel-" Naffy was cut off when the Twins started dragging her backwards. "Hey! I can walk you know!"
. . .
"Well I guess its better than the other one..." Naffy stated as she walked out of the dressing room for the second time, in the same outfit but gothic'd.
"That's the spirit!" The twins exclaimed before leading Naffy back to the tea party that had started without them. Hunny was eating cake as usual, but Lilly looked up when they came in
"Wow, Naffy, you look pretty." Lilly complimented as Naffy came in after the Twins.
"Thank you lilly! So do you!" Naffy replied, flattered.
"thanks!"
Peter looked up after his last bite of cake to see Naffy looking 'really pretty' and almost fainted. (FROM BLOOD LOSS! Hahahahaahaha! I'm so bad...)
"W-wow, Naffy, you do look pretty." He stammered.
Naffy thanked him, oblivious, as the Twins glared at him. Then, randomly, Mrs. Hitachiin entered the room.
"hi mom!" The twins greeted her casually.
"hello boys," Mrs. Hitachiin greeted back "hello hunny."
"hi Mrs. Hitachiin!" Hunny replied.
"Boys, why don't you introduce me to your other friends?" Mrs. Hitachiin suggested.
"the brunette is Naffy, and the blonde is Lilly. They're both from the hostess club-" Hikaru answered, pointing at each girl in turn.
"and Naffy is babysitting peter." kaoru added, pointing to the blonde boy, who was still recovering from the shock of seeing Naffy all beautified.
"I see" Mrs. Hitachiin examined the girls "what types are you two?"
"I'm the lollita type!" Lilly replied, smiling charmingly.
"I'm the quiet bookish type." Naffy added.
"Really?" Mrs. Hitachiin looked at the Twins, who nodded. "Oh, so you're that Naffy. I've heard quite a bit about you..." (WHO ELSE IS NAMED NAFFY? I MEAN REALLY.)
"All good things I hope."
"Of course!" Mrs. Hitachiin then examined her outfit. "I'm guessing you didn't choose the outfit?" She glanced at the Twins.
"The outfit, no. The colors, yes."
"Not a fan of pastels?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked.
"I like them in moderation." Naffy replied. The twins' mom seemed pleased.
"Smart girl." She said, smiling. "Perhaps we'll get you fitted later for something a bit more elegant, hmmm."
"Oh, thank you!" Naffy was relieved she wouldn't have to spend too much time in the Twins' choice. Mrs. Hitachiin nodded and turned to the Twins.
"I'll see you two at dinner. Bye darlings!" She kissed them each on the forehead and left.
"I like your mom." Naffy stated. The twins just rolled their eyes.
Suddenly, for no good reson, the entire Host/ess club and entourage came into the large room. Vash ran over to Lilly.
"Are you ok?" He asked, panicked.
"I'm fine bruder." Lilly reassured him.
"Is that a lollita dress?" Kimi asked once she saw Naffy.
"Yeah...' Naffy smoothed out her skirt nervously.
"Aw, you look so cute!" Gil came up and ruffled her hair as Liz took pictures.
"Can I go change into normal clothes now?" Naffy asked hopefully.
"no." The Twins answered flatly, making Naffy annoyed.
"Unfortunately the twins are right;" Kyoya stated. "We should get started right away. If you're not part of the host or hostess club you should-"
"Video games are downstairs." The twins informed the entourage, causing them to all run downstairs, led by Gil.
"My awesomness will pwn you all!" He shouted on the way down.
"No way dude! I'm gonna win!" Al shouted back. Kiku just smiled and shook his head. They would all see...
Unfortunately, Peter didn't leave.
"Peter, why don't you go downstairs with everyone else and play video games." Naffy suggested, eager to get rid of her charge.
"I wanna be a host." Peter declared.
"no."
"Well actually since the other one left, he could fill in as the new naughty type." Renge said thoughtfully.
"Omigod!" Naffy jumped, startled, as Renge appeared out of nowhere.
"Where'd you come from!" The twins exclaimed.
"She's been here." Kyoya explained, annoyed. "And yes that would work. Renge, being the character enhancement expert will train him along with help from tamaki. The twins can help too occasionally since the naughty type is similar to the little devils type."
"I can practice with Naffy." Peter suggested hopefully.
"oh hell no." Naffsters was not looking forward to being hit on by a prepubecent micronation.
"Um not to interupt, but can we move this to the living room." The twins recomended.
"That way we can sit down." Hikaru explained.
"Its just through here." Kaoru started towards a door.
"sure." Kyoya replied, speaking for them all. They followed Kaoru to the living room. While everyone was getting settled, The Twins detained Peter for a moment.
"hey peter, why don't-" Hikaru started
"you let us give you some tips." Kaoru finished.
"uh, ok..." peter consented. The Twins leaned in.
"first," they smirked knowingly "stop looking at her." At that moment, Naffy walked up behind them and raised her eyebrow.
"be nice you two." The Twins went to sit down, leaving Peter with Naffy.
"Peter, you're such a nice boy," Naffy started, smiling encouragingly. "and there's a girl out there for you..." She paused. "but she's not me. Now, why don't you go sit next to Kimi. I'm sure she'll play the innuendo game with you." She suggested, ruffling is hair.
"ok..." Peter replied dejectedly, doing as suggested.
Naffy nodded, pleased with herself, and went to sit in between the twins.
*blah blah blah meeting stuff*
"LETS JUST GO DOWNSTAIRS." Haruhi snapped, after the tenth non sequitur. "We obviously aren't going to get ANYTHING DONE!"
"Dude. PMS, much." Kimi commented.
"Grrr..."
"Okay okay!"
"What's PMS?" Peter asked.
"Pissed at Men Syndrome" Kyoya whispered to him.
"Ohhhhhhh..." Peter exclaimed, thinking he understood. "That big jerk England has that a lot. Especially when Alfred does something stupid."
Kimi died of laughter at peter's comment as the ones who didn't hear Peter's comment looked at her weirdly, as usual.
"You people can all die in a hole somewhere." Haruhi stalked out of the room.
"I'm going downstairs..." Peter declared, concerned by Kimi's strange laughter. Then the rest of them left too. Abruptly. Cause they could. Um... (In reality, we had gotten rid of them during the blah blah blah meeting stuff, but I cut that part because it was kinda boring.)
"Phew! I thought they would never leave." Kimi shut the door behind them and turned to Kyoya.
"It was definately an impressive performance. " he smirked, knowing what was coming next. Kimi smirked in response.
. . .
Unfortunately, a small child by the name of Peter was coming back to the room, sent by Naffy to fetch the two 'stragglers'.
"Hello?" Peter opened the large door and looked around. "!" He was then scarred for life. He ran out and hid in the bathroom, washing his eyes out to try to get rid of the image. He failed.
. . .
"Haha!" Naffy fist pumped in victory as she beat the world at video games (literally!)
"I don't know whether to be mad or proud." Gil placed his controller down on the coffee table. "That was my first defeat since the eighteenth century!"
Liz snorted in disbelief.
"Puh-lease. I've beaten you so many times, you don't know how NOT to lose." She revealed.
"THE AWESOME PRUSSIA NEVER ADMITS DEFEAT!" he sulked. She banged him with Gilpan.
"Unless it's by an awesome woman such as yourself..." He ammended.
"Thank you very much" Liz winked at Naffy. In their family, the women wore the pants in the relationship. :D
SO THAT'S MY FAIL PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE NAFFY IS GETTING SAD ABOUT THE LACK OF REVIEWS THANK YOU GOODNIGHT!
P.S. The only reason Kyoya and I kinda jumped eachother the moment the rest of them were gone is because it's an inside joke between Naffy and I that whenever kyoya and I are alone... Truthfully, we just need plot sometimes. I'm not a slut, I promise! (only to anime characters... :P)