The ringing in my ears won't stop. Even after Ms. McCall has pulled me out of the room and I've left the hospital, I can still hear the ring of the heart monitor in my head. I race home. All I want is to shut myself up in my room and sleep till the end of time but I know I can't. So instead I strip down to my undershirt and boxers, and begin to crawl into bed when something catches my eye. Something red. It's Stiles' red hoodie that he left here a couple days ago. I meant to give it to him tonight...

I grab the sweatshirt and hold it in my hands for a few moments before burying my head in it. It still smells like him. I pull the sweatshirt over my head. Perfect fit. Of course. I crawl back into bed and try to bury myself down under my blankets. It's not exactly easy with the thin ones I have. So I throw the hood over my head instead.

I want to disappear. I want to have died in that fire along with the rest of my family. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. But I do wake up. The sun peeps through my blinds and reminds me that I've got to keep going. I've got to keep protecting Scott, because without Stiles he won't make it very far.

+ + +

"Derek!" Scott says as I appear in his room. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing," I reply as calmly as possible.

"Well I've been better," Scott sighs, sitting on his bed.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean for any of this to happen," I say, almost trying to reassure myself instead of Scott.

Scott sighs again. "I know. But you two made a good couple. A lot of chemistry between the two of you. I just thought it was kind of a bromance thing, not..."

"A romance?" I finish. He nods and I sigh through my nose.

"I just...can't believe he's gone. I keep waiting for a text from him or for him to sneak through my window. I just...I just don't know what life is gonna be like without him," Scott says.

"You're just going through denial. The same thing happened to me when the fire happened."

We sit/stand together for a moment or two not saying much of anything but saying so much with our silence. I can tell he's not upset that I was dating his best friend behind his back. He can tell I'm more than a little broken up about the loss of my boyfriend. I almost think that even without our weird werewolf senses we could tell what the other was thinking just because it's so fucking obvious.

"The funeral is this Saturday at ten." Scott says finally. "Are you coming?"

"I don't know," I don't know if I can handle it, more like. Last time I went to a funeral I had everyone up my ass telling me how sorry they were. Sorry for what? It's not like they did anything. I definitely don't want to do that ever again.

"I should go," I tell Scott, "Tell your mom I say hello when you see her."

Who knows why I said that. I just like Scott's mom. She's always been very nice to me despite the fact that she thought I was a murderer for a while there. And Stiles absolutely adored her.

+ + +

Saturday comes only two days later and I'm beginning to get over myself. Aw, who am I kidding. I'm a fucking wreck. I'm learning to cope though.

I walk through the woods towards the cemetery. I can practically walk this route in my sleep. One time I did. I guess I just like cemeteries.

I stand at the outskirts of the cemetery and watch everyone come in for the funeral. I smile at just how many people show up.

It isn't very cold out, but a chill grips me. It's very sudden, and it passes as quickly as it came. Probably just my mind playing tricks on me.

From where I am I can hear the service going on, but without having to hear the quiet sobs from the girls and see the tears run down the sheriff's face. I wanted to be there for the funeral, it's only right, but I just couldn't face all of them. Especially Stiles' dad. I feel so bad for Stiles' dad. He's such a nice man, he doesn't deserve something like this to happen to him.

It must have been hard after his wife died, but Stiles was still there for him. Now he has no one. Like me. My pack left and the only person who I ever really cared about died.

I was wallowing in some more self-pity when I heard it. A soft, whisper of a word right behind my ear.

"Derek"

I turn around quickly to see if someone's there, but all I see is a lot of unused cemetery. It must've been my imagination. Or so I think before I hear it again.

"Derek"

I search all around me for a source but nothing's there. I brush it off. I am really losing it now. Because...for a second there...that sounded like Stiles' voice.

I see that the funeral is coming to an end so I decide to head back home. As I'm walking, that same chill grips me again. It brushes up against my side then tingles across my hand.

+ + +

Okay. I am seriously losing my mind. No. That's not the right wording. I have lost my mind. It's a week after the funeral and I'm hearing voices again. I'm walking through the woods when it first happens.

"Derek"

I've had it. I can't take it anymore. It's bad enough that this week has been absolute torture. Who knew it would be harder to sleep without that kid snuggling his way into my chest? To make things worse, his sweatshirt stopped smelling like him yesterday.

I begin to sprint through the woods, wind blowing through my ears, freaking me out yet again.

"...stop running..."

It comes out garbled but I can make out the words. I stop dead in my tracks.

"Who's there?!" I scream at the top of my lungs, my eyes turning red and my fangs/claws growing.

I pant and wait for a response.

"...enough...Alpha...crap..."

I gasp. Only one person would ever say that to me. "Stiles?"

That mysterious chill returns, this time wrapping itself around me, consuming me and overwhelming me.

"Who else?" a whisper behind me.

"H-how?" I stutter.

"...heightened senses..."

That's right. I had once heard somewhere that since lycanthropy heightens the senses it allows you to hear spirits. But only if they contact you.

"Why?" I say softly. A flick of something passes the corner of my eye. A whisp of something in front of me. Then, right before my eyes an apparition appears. An apparition appears wearing a dark blue, maroon, and gray hoodie and light blue jeans. An apparition appears with a shaved head and caramel brown eyes.

I can't help the small tears in my eyes.

As I stare, I can see through him slightly, and if I look at him from certain angles he disappears completely.

"You're in pain," his voice carries on the wind and twists around my head.

I sigh. I'm so incredibly tired. I've been in pain all my life, it feels like.

"It takes a lot of...to appear...here," some of his words come out too garbled and his spirit fades in and out a bit. "But...had to help..."

"Help who?" I ask softly, moderately confused.

"You." his spirit comes closer, bringing his cold air with him, "Let me go, Derek."

A feeling wells up in my chest. I spent so much time trying to protect Stiles, and he dies protecting me. How can I just let go of that?