This wasn't her cabin.
This wasn't her bed.
This wasn't even her shower and yet Blakely was here jeopardizing Kaidan's career instead of leading her team to destroy the probe that disrupted communication channels. It felt wrong to be sneaking off, but this was their only chance to be together because the request for shore leave was again delayed due to pending circumstances.
Everything from the Blitz to this point had been a test. A test to see if she would crack. A test to see if a woman could rise on her own merit and not favors. A test to see if she would put her career before a family. A choice that her mother failed to do and made sure that Blakely knew every moment of her life. She gone further than any Systems Alliance soldier had before the true test began and the end goal was nothing that she could prepared for.
The too warm water struck Blakely's body with a fury. That only served as a distraction from her problem for a few seconds any way. She hated the political game. Originally she didn't know the right people, but slowly the right people sought her out. Watching her to see if she would crack under pressure like her father did.
She ran her hand over the controls to adjust the water to a comfortable level. Kaidan was the biggest test of all. She wanted to believe that maybe fortune smiled on her life in giving a companion to fill her lonely life.
It didn't take very long to dry and straighten her hair. She kept it chin length for that reason. Blakely then made sure her legs were smooth. She continued to get herself dressed only realizing now that the dress would be a pain to get off in a hurry. She slipped a pair of crew socks over her manicured toes then stuck her feet into the boot. Soldiers should have pretty feet. It was the only bit a pampering she did for herself.
The elevator ride up to the mess hall wasn't too long.
Cinnamon filled the air. All of the smells and sounds of home filled the mess. Not Blakely's home, but she read about things like this in the classic novels of old Earth.
"Mood lighting?" Blakely asked walking over to Kaidan.
"I can't take credit for that." He said. The aroma warmed her heart. He handed her a mug of her favorite Earl Grey blend with two honey sticks for stirring just as she liked it. She remembered the first time he'd brought her coffee and she had to break it to him that the gesture was sweet, but she hated the stuff. "Everything's is powered down. Must conserve resources now that the Alliance is rebuilding." Kaidan slipped his arm around her waist leading her over to where breakfast was waiting.
It was obvious Kaidan put more thought and effort into this date than she. He thought of everything. Real scarlet red roses were placed along the table. He had prepared a pile French toast for them both. As she arrived at the table, she noticed a single rose placed into an empty champagne bottle.
After sitting down, Kaidan gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You look beautiful." He said.
Blakely was nervous. This was their first real date. The talks she had with Kaidan were always in public so that no one "So, about us." Kaidan said joining her at the table.
Blakely careful chewed her mouthful as to now gross him out. Her insides melted at how good Kaidan's French toast was. "Yeah."
"You're admitting there's an us."
"Us? We don't exist." Blakely wanted to see if that would get a reaction out of him. He sat there watching. Damn, he called her bluff evidentially not believing what she said. "Kaidan, we can't exist as long as I am your commanding officer. Are you crazy? The Alliance is just looking for looking for an excuse to bust up my team. Breaking regulations is just handing them the ammo to blow what we are trying to accomplish apart." Why am I trying to ruin this moment? "That would mean the end of us."
"I want there to be an us." Kaidan sat up straight intensely focused on her.
Blakely avoided his gaze and started to make a smiley face in the syrup with her finger on the plate. She turned the plate so he could see the smiley face. She kept holding her mouth open for him to feed her a bit more toast.
"What am I going to do with you?" Kaidan sliced another bit of the French toast and fed it to her. "You would allow a little distance be then end." He sat back and stirred the syrup on their plate with the fork. "You don't realize this isn't a fling for me Shepard. If it was, I would have ended it after Ilos and accepted my transfer after the ceremonies."
"Anderson running interference is the only thing keeping you here on the Normandy and part of my team. You think we can handle the separation?"
"If this is real we'll be able to." Kaidan smiled. "I have a little something extra planned for later."
"What would that be?"
"Wait and see. I've called you Shepard, Ma'am or Commander from the time we met. Which do you prefer to be called? Blake or Blakely?"
"Here I was thinking Shepard was your cute little ole nickname for me. Trading one last name for another. Does it really matter?"
"You hate your name." Kaidan sounded surprised. "Is there a story behind the name?"
"I've never preferred it. My mother hating giving up her last name to marry my father. She named me her maiden name." She said. "I like watching you say my name. And hearing you say my name. I prefer Blakely. I've accomplished enough that I don't have to pretend I'm a man on the paperwork. I think everyone knows who I am."
"You never told me what exactly happen to you father."
"You think you've earned the right to know all of my secrets, Kaidan."
"If you don't feel comfortable talking about this."
"Same thing that happens to most promising officers. A mission goes terribly wrong People. Innocent people are killed. You are forced to take the blame even though circumstances are beyond your control."
"Did you have a pet as a child?"
"We're playing twenty questions?" She took another sip of her tea.
"You know all about my past. Well, the highlights anyway. This is the first chance I've had to get to know you."
"Parents never allowed me to have one. We transferred a lot. Never wanted the responsibility when I got older."
"When things settle down I'm going to get you one."
"You going to just pick out one for me. I'd say start out with a goldfish, but you probably should find me something I can't kill."
"I'll surprise you. I'll find one that suits your personality. Besides, it will be great practice for when we. . ."
Blakely loved that fact that Kaidan's self edit button had two modes. It was on or off no subtle lines of grey with him. "Your biotics are amazing." She mentioned to change the subject. "I was there when you lifted that Armature on Ilos as my gun jammed from overheating. You saved my ass."
"I'm not going to allow anything to happen to you on my watch. Not when I can do something to prevent it."
"It's nice having someone watching my back because he wants to and not because I ordered him to."
"You inspire loyalty. People will follow you into the abyss not knowing if they will come out alive."
"There's no doubt in my mind who's the better biotic between us. I hear the Alliance is coming out with a L4 implant. Would you get retrofitted?"
"Not eager to go under the knife."
Blakely's tone changed from cheerful to concerned. "But if it would help with the migraines."
"You want to know what helps with the migraines." Kaidan pulled her closer to him. He took her hand in his placing it on his temple. "Apply some pressure." He closed his eyes. "A bit more. A bit more." He let out a sigh of relief. "That's it."
"Does this really help? I think you just like having my breasts within arms reach."
"I can't do much with them since you have them all covered up." Clearing his throat he added. "Yes. You're a biotic. This helps redirect the currents. It releases some of the built up pressure."
"Sounds like your talking about something else."
Kaidan kissed her. "I need you, Blakely."
She was worried that the Alliance might transfer him to another vessel. She didn't want to admit it to him, but she needed him as well.
"I'm not going anywhere Blakely. I'll be here for a couple of weeks max. Garrus and Tali will shut down that beacon and then the reports are filed. That gives us some time together before the Alliance takes the facility over. I'm an Alliance soldier, but I believe in what your doing. I plan to help you stop the Reaper threat anyway I can."
"With Wrex gone, my team is already coming apart. This crew is my family. I will die for everyone here. You all mean that much to me."
"The team you have built is just fine. Garrus is going to get the job done. He's efficient, but dangerous. He artfully dances through the task and deals with the consequences later. He's not going to let you down. Tali is coming into her own under your command. Then there's Miss Perfection."
"Liara."
He mumbled. "She's an ass."
"Kaidan."
"Asset. Really, I was going to say asset."
"You still don't like her."
"It's not about liking her." He pulled back. "No, I don't like her. She still throws herself at you every chance she get."
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not with Liara. She researching the Prothean-Reaper connection to help us find a way to destroy them once they find a way here from dark space."
"Then why is she always reminding me that mind melding with you was the best thing she's experienced in her entire life. And that lady is old."
"Stop letting her push your buttons."
"She just waiting for me do mess up so she can make a move on you."
She heard everything he was saying but, they hadn't been together intimately since that night before Ilos. Blakely stood up not wanted to argue with him during this precious time together.
"Leaving?" Kaidan asked not sure what was going on.
Building a new family was important to Blakely. She was closer to her crew on the Normandy that she was to any member of her family. Blakely shook her head no. She walked up to him in between his legs. She lowered placed her arms around his neck. Blakely looked at the love of her life. Kaidan always looked so serious.
He grabbed her around the waist halting her progression. "Stop changing the subject. We were discussing."
She softly touched her lips on his. Two biotics getting together was tricky. Tiny currents passed between their lips heightening every sensation felt. Kaidan's resolve was melting. "We were" She pressed into him and gave him the kiss she'd waited on all day.