Part 4

"Do you understand the seriousness of your actions, Padawan Kenobi?" Master Windu's voice froze the air, temperature fleeing his usual neutral tones. "Do you realise that your reckless decision nearly cost the success of a very important mission?!"

Obi-Wan's stormy eyes were unusually defiant as he met the Council Member's smouldering gaze. "Yes I do, Master Windu," he answered steadily with a hint of stone. "And I would do it again if the situation called for it."

A collective intake of breath went round the Council Chamber. Master Windu looked about ready to explode but, his voice, when it came, was tightly controlled. "Padawan Kenobi," he said. "You are ordered to return to your quarters. The Council strongly suggests that you mediate on the dangers of letting your emotions govern your decisions. In the mean time we will decide on what action to take over this. You are dismissed."

Obi-Wan bowed stiffly and turned to leave. His cheeks burned but he was unrepentant. On swift strides he departed the Council Chamber.

Qui-Gon was waiting outside. "Padawan?"

"I am ordered to return to our quarters and mediate on my actions while they decide on what to do with me." Obi-Wan repeated tersely. His fists were balls of frustration at his side.

The tall Master fell into step with his smarting Padawan, a slight limp the only indication that all was not well with him. "Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon reached out a hand to try and calm the boy but Obi-Wan shrugged it off, shaking. Frowning Qui-Gon folded his hands into his long sleeves. "Padawan, you will calm yourself. The Council sees this lack of control and--"

"I could not leave you to die, Master!" Obi-Wan burst out. "I just… couldn't!"

Startled into silence, Qui-Gon stared down at his apprentice. All lectures falling dead on his lips.

"I could not leave," the young voice dropped to a choked whisper. "I could not just get out and leave you there. Don't they understand it?!"

Helpless words and they struck deeply at Qui-Gon. Wasn't that a question he found himself constantly asking? He sighed deeply, going over in his mind all the confrontations he had ever had in that high chamber. He shook his head. No, understanding was sadly not a word he could always attribute to the Council.

But, understanding or not, even they weren't blind to the fact that the training bond that existed between him and Obi-Wan was unusually strong. It was a powerful connection, hard to explain and one that served to rattle the Council at times. A dangerous attachment, they would call it.

Maybe they were right. Obi-Wan had staked the safety of their entire mission on rescuing his Master. That was wrong of a Jedi and the Council took such behaviour very seriously. To them the safety of a planet's peace was paramount and as Jedi they should not let their attachments interfere with their duty to ensure that safety. They were trained from an early age to let go of such things.

But Obi-Wan had not been thinking as a Jedi when he had acted. Something infinitely more powerful had come shining through and Qui-Gon couldn't deny that it was an instinct that he himself had come to know intimately.

It was the same drive that had caused him to smash into the Council's beliefs so many times in his own lifetime.

He did know.

But could he really stand by and let his Padawan put himself in danger like he had? If Obi-Wan had died for his sake…

He sighed, shuttering away his feelings behind a proper Masterly look. It would not do for Obi-Wan to see the same faults in his Master that the Council had just finished verbally flogging him for. Not if he wanted him to listen and keep himself out of unnecessary danger from now on. He couldn't bear the thought.

"Obi-Wan it doesn't matter whether they understand or not," he said. "You cannot blatantly put your life and others at risk. Even for me. Do you understand that?"

Obi-Wan lowered his head under his stern gaze. "Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon nodded. Satisfied by the contrite answer, he walked on a few steps before attempting some levity for his Padawan's sake. "I heard you talk back to Master Windu," he said with a long sideways look at Obi-Wan. His lips quirked in silent amusement.

Down though he was, Obi-Wan could not fail to notice the expression. "May I ask what you find so funny, Master?" he asked stiffly.

Qui-Gon's smile became teasing. "I've just realised that the notoriously unbending Obi-Wan Kenobi isn't quite so different from his rebellious old Master as he'd like to believe sometimes."

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes and managed a somewhat sad smile. "I suppose not," he said and Qui-Gon was dismayed to see that his jest had backfired. Obi-Wan's head bowed lower even as his arms came up to fold protectively across his chest. "I'm sorry, Master," he said. "I've tried, I really have tried to be all that the Council and the Jedi need me to be. Ever since Melida/Daan... But I just can't help it!" The auburn head shook helplessly. "I know," his voice dropped so low that Qui-Gon had to strain to hear him, "I know as a Jedi I should be prepared to let go of those that I… that I… care about…" his eyes flickered briefly to Qui-Gon's before nailing themselves to the floor again. "But I just couldn't do it, Master. It felt like I was tearing myself to pieces and I couldn't let go of the pain. I should be able to, but I couldn't. Is that so wrong of me?" The miserable eyes lifted, searching his.

Qui-Gon felt his heart twist and his resolve to remain the properly stoic Jedi Master in this instance cracked. He had never seen such a naked look on his Padawan's face. Obi-Wan…

His eyes were suddenly wrenched wide open to the pain Obi-Wan was feeling.

What had he been doing? His Padawan was hurting and he had let his own selfish fear blind him to just how much.

In an instant he cast aside his role as a Master and the tenets of the Jedi. Council be damned. Obi-Wan needed him right now. Needed truth, wisdom and understanding. Not to have his feelings callously pushed aside by stern platitudes.

The calm Jedi mask melted from his face and in that moment he was just Qui-Gon, a man who loved his apprentice more than life itself. Like any father. Something he realised he should have done from the start.

Dropping to his knees, Qui-Gon caught the trembling chin in a large hand, and his next words when they came, came from the heart. "No, my Obi-Wan, it is not wrong to feel these things," he said softly, firmly. "You are not wrong. We are Jedi, Padawan, and that means we sometimes have to make sacrifices that other people could barely begin to comprehend. It is part of our duty. And as such we can never allow ourselves the attachments that others so freely enjoy. That sets us apart.

"But," he placed a hand over Obi-Wan's heart, "deep inside here, we are all of us the same and if the people we love are in danger then we would go through any barrier to protect them. No amount of Jedi training will ever change that fully. And it never should."

It was a knowledge that the Council, with all their lofty talk, could never seem to understand. A Jedi who didn't feel could have no compassion for the troubles of others and therefore had no business being what he was.

Yes it was wrong to fear loss, to entertain anger. But it was equally wrong to shut out your emotions and abandon somebody you loved when you knew it was within your power to save them. That was not darkness. That was light. Qui-Gon pitied and resented the Council for such blindness. How dare they slight his Padawan for his heart.

He shrugged off his anger with an effort. They didn't matter now.

Gently, he lifted Obi-Wan's chin until their eyes met. "You are not wrong, Padawan, merely human. And despite how many believe we should behave differently as Jedi," Qui-Gon caressed the smooth cheek, his eyes he confessing the deep feeling that Obi-Wan had so shyly admitted before, "I would have you know, my Obi-Wan, that if the situation had been reversed, I would never have left you behind, either. Never in all the Force could I have left you."

And if that's what the Council so vehemently disapproved of then let it be so.

Obi-Wan's eyes were over bright as he reached up to grasp the hand that still rested upon his chest. A thousand and one things he wanted to say crossed his mind in that moment, but in the end there was only one thing he could say,

"I know."

Qui-Gon smiled and pulled the boy to his chest in a warm embrace before rising. Side by side they walked back to their quarters, taking in the much needed solace found in each other's beloved company. Peace and contentment swelled between and around them, shining outwards and obliterating all else.

And if an observer had been fortunate enough to spy them in that moment, their eyes would not have beheld the all powerful guardians of the galaxy, but simply a father and his son.

The Council could cast their decision.

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust
What they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep inside us
We're not that different at all