/ chapter three

Sakura sat by the window, one hand under her chin and the other absentmindedly tracing circles on the fogged up glass. It was raining outside, a summer's rain, and the difference in temperature caused her window to become the perfect canvas for a sad day. She sighed, and looked at the surface of the window, at the vapor turning to water – disappearing at her touch. Her index finger drew out a simple doodle: two dots and an upward curve. She smiled to herself when trails of water crossed paths with her "drawing", one of them intersecting the dot on the left.

"Why are you crying?" she whispered, wiping away the water trailing towards the bottom edge of the window. "We've decided, haven't we? This isn't the time to cry."

She realized a few days ago that the voice in her head was no longer there. The voice disappeared when she finalized her decision: the solution; the best solution and the resolution (supposedly). It was for the best, she knew. But was it okay to let it be? She's questioned this for many nights. After a while, there was just no answer.

But she'd decided. And supposedly it was for the best.

Sakura sighed, wiped away her own tear rolling down her left cheek, and smiled as she drew more doodles on the window. The sound of the rain, pitter-pattering rhythmically was exactly what she needed at the moment – especially when she was starting to doubt her decision.

She had arrived in Konoha a week ago. And the first person she went to see was the Hokage. Kakashi had been so surprised she thought she'd finally see his face as his mask slowly but surely slipped from his gape. But he recovered in a few seconds, fixed his mask, and gave her a big hug that lasted a long time. She swore she felt him cry into her shoulders, but when he straightened up there was no trace of the possible tears. Sakura, on the other hand, had been crying from the moment she saw him.

It was the kind of reunion she'd expected. He asked about her stay at Suna, how was she adapting, did she meet anyone new (other than the Kazekage and his family), did she learn anything new, etc. She told him all she could and asked him the same things he asked her. She noticed then that he looked much older, perhaps the burden and stress from being Hokage had finally gotten to him and she almost regretted leaving.

"Are you ever coming home?" he asked after a few hours of catching up. He couldn't cancel any meetings (for now was crucial for not only Konoha, but also the shinobi world and the Kages of every nation had their schedule for the next three years booked with various political meetings, domestic arrangements, etc.) but he made sure he had enough time to spend with Sakura for the day.

Sakura looked at him, and it broke her heart to see how hopeful he looked. She grabbed his hand, squeezed it lightly and she saw a shadow passed by his face and she knew he knew what her answer was. So she didn't answer him, and instead gave him a sad smile. He nodded, patted her hand, and sighed.

"Maybe one day," he said.

"Maybe one day," she agreed. (I want to go home.) Me too. But not yet.

Before they could say anything else, a knock was heard on the door, and Kakashi sighed. She looked at him sympathetically and quickly reached up to him as he was standing up. He looked at her, confused by the sudden gesture, and felt her hands on either side of his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked, slightly cautious.

"Helping you out," she smiled softly. "Tsunade-sama helped me like this a long while ago."

Her hands glowed green and she focused her soothing chakra to carefully massage his temples. The effect took action fast as Kakashi slowly relaxed into her hands, eyes closing blissfully. They stayed that way for a few seconds before she pulled back and smiled at him.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yes," he smiled back at her. "Thank you, I needed that."

"I know," she patted his arm. The knocks on the door continued and she quickly gave him a hug before giving him a peck on the cheek. "Good luck, Hokage-sama, do a good work."

"I always do a good work," he rolled his eyes before smiling fondly at her. "Thank you Sakura. Drop by again if you're still here tomorrow."

She nodded before she turned to the door and opened it as the knocks grew more impatient.

Only to be greeted by none other than Uchiha Sasuke.

Sakura opened her eyes and looked out at the rain calmly pitter-pattering on the plants she hung outside her window. With one quick hand swipe, she wiped away the fog covering the glass surface on her end.

After she bumped into him at the Hokage's office, they had awkwardly stared at each other for a few seconds before Kakashi cleared his throat in hope that the heavy and uncomfortable atmosphere could be lifted. At the sound of this, Sasuke looked away and straight at Kakashi who felt the sudden need to punch himself because it was really awkward for them to stare at one another with no context or reason. Sakura had gulped. Audibly, that she was sure even Kakashi could hear it. She then cleared her throat and chirped a silent "Hello, Sasuke." In which he replied with his usual trademark "Hn."

She couldn't remember what happened next but she was sure it was one of the most embarrassing and awkward moments of her life. Overtime she had forgiven Sasuke for what he did to her during the war, and it was then that she realized Sasuke was really just a stranger in her life. Sure, she claimed she loved him (so many times over to so many people, even the man himself that it became such an embarrassing thing for her to recall) but in reality, she knew nothing about him. And this fact just made her become increasingly uncomfortable at the thought of what she repeatedly announced to the world.

It was then that she found another reason why she was glad to be away from Konoha. She managed to avoid Sasuke for so long, but unfortunately for her he just had to be the second person she saw the moment she stepped into Konoha.

Standing up from her seat, she walked towards her dark living room and just stood there; her eyes travelled from the TV to the coffee table, to the shelf on the wall and the CD rack on the left of the TV, and finally landed on the beige sofa.

She pictured Naruto sleeping on her couch, the routine they had before the war happened, the routine that stopped after the war. He had always been too tired to travel back to his own empty apartment and had always asked to stay over. Though she always told him no in front of other people, he'd knock later in the evening and she'd let him in with a smile.

She never told him but she knew he knew that his presence comforted her as well. Her apartment was as empty and lonely as his and he knew she appreciated the company. He was healthiest when he came over because she cooked for him. People said she would make a terrible housewife for she's terrible at cooking and cleaning but Naruto knew it was the opposite. She was a great cook and she tried to keep her place as clean as possible, it was only due to her busy schedule that many things were left unattended.

Sakura smiled and turned on the light, only to be greeted by an empty sofa. There was a small part in her that hoped that when she turned on that light, she'd see Naruto lying comfortably on her couch; with one hand under his head and the other on the remote as he flipped through the channels.

But the sofa was empty, and so was the room. The TV was off and there were no snacks on the coffee table, there was only the sound of the rain pitter-pattering outside echoing throughout her apartment.

Sakura wiped away the tears, turned off the light, and walked into her dark bedroom.

She had gone to see Ino a few days back, a day after her arrival in Konoha and Ino literally dropped the vase she was holding and had looked at Sakura as if she had been dead for the past few months. She ignored the broken pieces on the floor and had even stepped on the Hydrangea before shakily pulling Sakura into a tight embrace. When Ino started bawling, Sakura soon followed and the two sobbed into each other's shoulders, ignoring the customers around them. Ino's mother had to usher the two girls to the back to stop them from scaring the customers away.

"Welcome back, Sakura," she'd said with a warm and relieved smile before disappearing behind the curtains to attend to the customers.

"Welcome back, Forehead," Ino hiccupped a few moments after.

Sakura laughed and buried her face deeper into Ino's shoulder.

"I'm home, Pig,"

They chatted for the rest of the day and Sakura slept over. Ino apologized over and over for not visiting and told her she had been so busy with various missions as well as attending to the flower shop now that her father's passed away. Their chat continued to the night and by midnight Ino finally brought up Naruto's name.

"So you heard about Naruto?"

Ino felt Sakura shift next to her and she turned towards the pink haired girl only to find her staring straight at the ceiling, her expression unreadable.

"I did."

"I'm sorry, Sakura,"

"I still can't face him," Sakura sighed. She turned so that she was facing Ino. "I don't know what to do."

(But you know what to do. You just refuse to accept it. It will hurt, but you will be okay after. All you have to do is…)

"We both know you only have two choices on the table," Ino said. "Either you tell him how you feel, or you let it be and watch the two of them get married."

Ino felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed her in the heart when she saw Sakura's tears. Her face was still, but the tears were unstoppable. She reached out and wiped away the tears.

"Do you do this all the time?" she asked, to which Sakura frowned. "Do you cry alone?"

"Yeah," Sakura said in a whisper. "Naruto came to Suna, and I think I haven't stopped crying ever since I heard about the news from Kakashi-sensei."

"What did you do with the letter?" Ino asked.

"I burned it," Sakura admitted. She saw Ino's eyes widen ever so slightly and she sighed. "Do you think what I did was wrong? I knew I was always… violent and vocal with my emotions, I suppose. But I wonder if I'm actually someone with pent up emotions in me. I could feel myself suffocating in God knows what and I don't know what to do."

"You're not violent, Sakura," Ino looked at her sympathetically. "People talk nonsense and you shouldn't let gossips and rumors define who you really are."

"You know ever since I arrived I would accidentally hear people whispering about me?" Sakura laughed bitterly. "I've heard many of them say how fitting it is that the beautiful and kind Hyuuga heiress is finally going to marry the man who saved the world. And sometimes I'd hear someone say "But isn't it weird, I thought Naruto's interested in Sakura-san." And then someone else would say "But how could it be? She's always beating him up and she's always incredibly rude to him, you'd be crazy to want to stay with someone like that." Hilariously, sometimes someone would chirp in: "Watch it, she saved all of us. Your father would probably be dead if it wasn't for her. Show the girl some respect."

But above it all, many people agree that Hinata suits him more. And I've heard people say "Sakura's in love with Sasuke, she's always been in love with him and she will always love him." And it's kind of painful and embarrassing to hear people say that about me because I honestly don't know anything about Sasuke. He's technically a stranger to me but because of my own foolishness I'm now stuck with this assumption that Haruno Sakura will only and always love Uchiha Sasuke unconditionally."

Sakura hadn't realized that her voice had only gotten louder the more she talked and that she'd been shaking from the tears and frustration and all the emotions she felt at once until Ino wrapped her arms around her. (I'm sorry.)

"I'm really sorry, Forehead," Sakura could feel Ino's tears on her shoulder and she could only cry into her embrace. "I'm sorry that this is the circumstances and I'm sorry that you don't have more options."

"What should I do, Ino?"

It was silent for a long time before Ino let her go, sat up and looked at her straight in the eye. Her cerulean shades glimmered with tears and she said the words she knew would destroy her best friend. But it was necessary and she hoped (prayed) that this was the answer.

"You have to let him go."

Sakura looked at Ino, shock was the first thing that clicked into her mind but then understanding quickly seeped in. This was what the voice in her head had been telling her since a long time ago.

(I'm sorry that you have no other choice. But you know he's happy now and you don't have the right to take that happiness away. I know you want to be selfish and try to get him back but if you tell him how you feel you won't only hurt him, you'll also hurt Hinata. Many people will be hurt and the damage will take a long time to fix.

If you let him go, you will hurt. For a while you will hurt. But you can move on. You, alone, can deal with it with the help of people around you and you can move on. Hinata's loved Naruto for a long, long time and he deserves to be happy. You rejected him for far too long and if you really love him, you'll let him go.)

"I have to let him go." She repeated after a while. Ino sobbed silently at the broken look on her best friend's face. It was a look of understanding but at the same time the anguish portrayed in her eyes was incredibly heartbreaking to see.

Ino was about to tell Sakura how sorry she was before she realized that sorry won't do anything. So she gave Sakura another hug and whispered "You'll be okay, Sakura. You're Haruno Sakura, after all."

Sakura smiled and hugged Ino back. Three times. This was the third time she heard someone other than the voice in her head tell her that she'll be okay. And not just because time will heal, but because she's Haruno Sakura.

Even though it's going to be painful and her days will probably be filled with tears and helpless flashbacks of when things were perfect and it was just Naruto and Sakura against the world, with the common goal of bringing Sasuke back – she knew she will probably be okay. Because she was Haruno Sakura and there were people who had faith in her.

And perhaps that was just the thing she needed: for people to believe in her.

"You know, Pig, I have another person I need to talk to,"

"Who? Tsunade-sama?" Ino pulled back and looked at Sakura, confused.

"No," she smiled. "Sasuke."

(Take another step. You'll be okay. Because you're Haruno frikken' Sakura.)

And that was the last time she heard the voice in her head, because deep inside she already made up her mind. She knew what to do. Even though she still hesitated every now and then and even though it hurt her just thinking about it, but she knew what to do the next time she saw the blond knucklehead.

Sakura climbed into her cold bed and covered her body quickly with the blanket to escape the cold. She sighed contently into the warmth of her sheets and smiled as she closed her eyes.

Tomorrow, she'd decided.

Tomorrow she was going to see Uchiha Sasuke. Because they were the original Team 7 and it was time for the broken pieces to be mended.

Plus, if anyone, Sasuke was one of two people who understood and knew Naruto better than her.

a/n

the other person is obviously iruka. never forget iruka, dammit.

this was a long chapter written with tears from my end. I always, always adore the friendship between sakura and ino and i swear to god whoever said hinata's sakura's best friend is an idiot who didn't pay attention to the manga.

also i really like the thought of sakura and sasuke being good friends the more she understands him cause… i just can't see sasuke actually loving anyone romantically? like, i feel like that's just not in his system LOL. and i did, yes, include the whole people believing in sakura cause i know she's always had this like… self-esteem problem with herself? so I decided to add that in cause i wanna show her mental development, shall we say?

i'm actually excited to be writing the chapter between her and sasuke cause wow it's about time she understands him and vice versa yea?

some parts may be confusing but tbh i get really tired from trying to proofread it. after a few re-reads my brain just stopped comprehending english LOL. sucks that english isn't my first language, ey?

anyway, reviews are appreciated.

DD.