On arrival at Darcy House in London, his sister Georgiana could immediately tell that he was very upset, but knowing her brother, she knew that he would not be receptive to direct questions, and she did not want to intrude on his privacy until the right moment. His foul humour continued for the few days they spent in London, making his company not enjoyable at all. She did not find a suitable opportunity to talk to him while they were there. He spent most of his time brooding in his library and only saw Georgiana at meals.
When they finally entered their carriage for the trip to Pemberley, Darcy was still very quiet. Soon after leaving London, Georgiana moved to sit beside her brother, having decided to make him feel guilty to get him to open up to her. She took his hand and said, "Fitzwilliam, you have been in a very bad humour since you came back to London. What have I done to make you so unhappy?"
"Oh, Georgiana, you have done nothing. Please excuse my mood. I know I have not been good company for you."
"Was it something that happened in Hertfordshire?"
"Yes, but it had nothing to do with you."
"You have never been like this before. Did you meet someone? What was her name?"
Darcy blurted out without thinking: "Elizabeth, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but she does not want to have anything to do with me. How did you know it involved a woman?"
"Fitzwilliam, you are my brother; I believe I know something about you by now. When you hurt, I hurt with you. Is she very beautiful?" Georgiana knew she would have to extract information from him subtly, and not by asking direct questions.
"Not in the classical sense. But her eyes are what you notice first. They truly are the windows to the soul, as someone once said. She is a wonderful person, very intelligent with a great wit that is not biting, just quite humourous. She captivated me even though her father has just a small estate, certainly not in our social class. But she has refused to get to know me better, even though that is what I want."
"How did you first meet?"
"It was at an Assembly in Meryton where all the local gentry go to see and be seen. I did not want to go as we knew no one there, but Bingley wanted to go to meet his new neighbours. I went only to please him. As I suspected, everyone there looked at us as if we were some exotic creatures. I did not want to dance and only danced with Bingley's sisters.
"At one point between dances, Bingley came to me to insist I dance with some of the local ladies. I said I had no intention of dancing, but he would not listen to my objections and pointed out a young woman sitting just behind us and said I should dance with her. I was in no humour to please him and said that she was only tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt me to dance. Unfortunately, she overheard me. It was Elizabeth."
"Fitzwilliam, do you not realize what an insult that was! No wonder she is not happy with you. No woman wants to be described of as tolerable, no matter how she looks. If you really want her you will have to apologize again and again, and beg her forgiveness."
"I did apologize, and tried to explain how uncomfortable I was at the Assembly. I am not sure if she truly accepted my apology."
"Under what circumstances did you apologize to her? That is important."
Darcy thought back on that day and smiled sadly. "It was very strange. Just two days before I left Hertfordshire, I went for a ride on one of Bingley's horses, a poor mount compared to what I am used to. I admit that I headed for an area where I had seen Elizabeth walking several times. I was thinking of her and suddenly there she was, sitting on the ground waving at me. Of course, I rode over and found that she had twisted her ankle and was not able to walk home. She wanted me to ride for help, but I could not leave her there.
"Over her objections I wrapped her ankle in my cravat, picked her up, and set her in front of my saddle. When I mounted behind her, I asked if she was comfortable. She was not and wanted me to move her back some. I could not do this easily the way we were sitting so close together. I realized the only way I could move her was if she helped by putting her arms around my neck so I could lift her back some. She was very reluctant to do that, but when she finally did, I managed to move her back. That worked but she did not let go of my neck. When I looked down at her she kissed me! I was so surprised that I did not pull back until after I had realized how enjoyable it was.
"Oh, Georgiana, I did not know what to do. To kiss her was so improper, but it was so wonderful. I have never had a lady kiss me before; it seemed as if it were an innocent impulse on her part, just a spur of the moment urge without thinking of how wrong it was. I hate to admit all this to you, it was so inappropriate on both our parts.
"When I pulled back, Elizabeth opened her eyes and seemed to awaken from a trance. She was very upset and said 'What have I done? Why did I do that? What will you think of me?' She started to cry. That almost broke my heart and I put my arm around her and pulled her close. I do not know why I next asked her several very inappropriate questions, but I wanted to know why she kissed me. I asked her if this was the first time she had been so close to a man and she said it was. I asked if that was her first kiss, which I know I should never have asked. She said it was. I was then even more impertinent and asked if the kiss had met her expectations. She admitted that it did, very much so, but of course this admission was very embarrassing for her. I know I should not have asked her that, but I wanted to know if she enjoyed it as much as I did.
"Georgiana, I have no idea why she kissed me or why it affected me so much. I could not believe the wonderful feelings that resulted from one kiss. It was an unbelievable moment! From her reaction, it seemed to be an innocent impulse resulting from our being so close. I tried to reassure her that I did not think less of her, that I admired her, but she said that I did not even like her because of what I said of her at that accursed Assembly! I even admitted that it was also my very first kiss and that I also found it to be very pleasing. I know that I should not even talk to you about this, but it was so nice."
Georgiana thought for a moment and suggested, "It might have been just an innocent impulse because of your closeness. But it might have been an unconscious reaction to your perceived dislike of her. Her kissing you certainly made you recognize her as a desirable woman, and not someone to spurn as being merely tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt you. From what you have admitted, if those were her intentions, even if it was not done consciously, it certainly worked. Look at how upset you are that she does not appear to want to get to know you better.
"Was it really your very first kiss? I thought that with so many women throwing themselves at you that you would have been tempted to at least kiss them."
Darcy was surprised at this insight. "Georgiana, when did you become so wise? Was it not just yesterday you were chasing after me in pigtails? And yes, it was my first kiss. I had always hoped that I would kiss only the woman I really loved, but I was not disappointed."
Georgiana smiled at this change in his mood and attempt at humor. "Fitzwilliam, it is time you thought of yourself rather than spending all of your time worrying about me. You should now start to be my brother rather than a father substitute. I want you to be happy, and that means you should find a good woman to be your wife.
"But tell me, do you think Elizabeth might make a suitable wife for you, a sister to me, a good mistress of Pemberley? If her father has a landed estate, she is certainly a gentleman's daughter, but if it is only a small estate, they are definitely not in the same social class as we are. Would she know anything about running a large estate?"
Darcy felt that he could open up to his sister. "Elizabeth is very intelligent and helps her father with their estate, so I am sure she would learn to be mistress of Pemberley quite easily. There's more to tell why she thinks so badly about me. Elizabeth told me she had heard that I had done a terrible disservice to someone from Pemberley by disregarding our father's final wishes. Georgiana, brace yourself; I did not tell you that I encountered George Wickham in Meryton where he is an officer in the militia regiment stationed there. He obviously told Elizabeth a completely false tale of the results of our father's request that I help him by giving him the living that our father intended if he joined the church. I told her all that had actually happened, but I am not sure if she accepted the truth of it. You know very well what an accomplished liar and scoundrel Wickham is. I am very sorry to mention his name to you. I can assure you that I did not tell Elizabeth your involvement with him, but I did hint that he had tried to elope with a young lady just for her dowry."
Georgiana was shaken to hear that name again, but pressed on. "But why were you so unhappy when you came from Hertfordshire? What else happened?"
"After I had taken Elizabeth to her home, I spoke to her father and asked for his permission to pay court to Elizabeth. I had to assure him that my intentions were strictly honourable as he mentioned the problem of our different social classes. I told him how disappointed I am with the women I have met in our class. I told him I wanted more time to get to know Elizabeth better and for her to get to know me, but that was a problem as I was leaving Hertfordshire very shortly.
"While speaking to him, I noticed how well organized his library is compared to ours at Pemberley, and said that I wished I had more time to spend in it. We came up with a plan that Mr. Bennet would come to Pemberley to help me organize our library and bring Elizabeth and one of her sisters with him. I would like you to be able to get to know her, and her younger sisters are very lively. They are about your age and I am sure that you would find them good company They might be fun to have visit us. There is so much you could do with them at Pemberley.
"Mr. Bennet seemed eager to help me and said he would talk to Elizabeth and let me know if she would come with him. I went back the next day and heard that she had flatly refused to come. I cannot understand why she would not agree. What do you think?"
Georgiana thought about this and said, "From what you have said, I think Elizabeth is indeed a very interesting person that I would like to get to know better. I wonder if she thinks there is no possibility of your marrying because of our different social classes? If that is the case, she likely wants to end it now before she begins to feel too strongly about you, rather than get hurt later. If you came across at first as proud and haughty because of your dislike of strange crowds, that might have wrongly convinced her of your perceived importance of class, even though I know it would not matter as long as she is a lady, as Miss Elizabeth obviously is. But how can we convince her otherwise? Did you ask her if she would accept a courtship with you?"
"There is another possibility I hesitate to suggest. When she asked what you must think of her after she kissed you, she may be worried that your intentions to her may not be strictly honourable. That would certainly account for her refusing to come to Pemberley and shows that she is a very much a lady. For that I admire her even more."
"Georgiana, again I am very impressed with the depth of your perceptions. No, I did not ask her about a courtship as I never had a chance. I think you may be right about her concerns, but how can we convince her if she is afraid of getting hurt and that my intentions are strictly honourable?"
Georgiana thought about this and said, "I do not know how we can do that if you never see her again. You may have to go back to Hertfordshire to visit Bingley again. How else will you be able to be in her company?"
"I really do not want to go back there; I would much rather be with you this summer at Pemberley. I admit that while Bingley's sister is with him at Netherfield, I find that staying there is not very pleasant for me. Miss Bingley is very persistent in her attentions to me and desperately wants to be mistress of Pemberley. In any case, Bingley was planning to leave Netherfield and I am not sure when he will go back there."
"Well, Fitzwilliam, let's just enjoy being home together. And I hope you will continue to confide in me. When you hurt, I hurt."
"Georgiana, I am sorry I underestimated you until now. I agree, let's just enjoy Pemberley this summer, but I definitely want to see Miss Elizabeth again."