*The Clique Series is a work of Lisi Harrison. I own nothing.*
Hey, readers.
So I didn't update as quick as I wanted to on either of my stories, but honestly, this past year has probably been the hardest time I can ever recall having to endure. So many good and bad things have happened to me and I'm still trying to figure out whether the positive outweighs the negative. I'll be graduating in a few months and while that used to comfort me, it now terrifies me. I have made so many friends that I don't want to lose. They've literally become my family and I know that my time with many of them is almost up. I know you don't care really and that's understandable. I offered you a story and it's my responsibility to keep it up.
I hope you keep reading.
Anyway, enjoy this chapter guys and review.
Love always…. XOXOXOXO
Derrick and Massie sat in his Audi and waited for the light to turn green.
Not a word was said and neither of them sought to change the fact.
Derrick's face was pale and beads of sweat gathered on his forehead. The dried blood under his nose was smudged where he had sloppily wiped it away after Massie had hit him.
There was no doubt that he looked worse for the wear. But it paled in comparison to the girl next to him, whose face had begun to lightly swell. She held a tissue to her split bottom lip and her skin was red and pulsing, sure to become a nasty bruise by tomorrow morning.
They were both in pain, but not for the most obvious reasons. They both felt heavy with guilt, he for laying his hands on a woman he once believed his life began and ended with, and she, for not only lying, but for being the one to throw the first punch. She knew that when they got back to her house, the other guys wouldn't hesitate to knock Derrick flat on his ass after seeing what he'd done. She didn't want that to happen.
It was her fault.
Everything was her fault.
Or at least it seemed that way.
The light finally turned green and Massie was surprised to see Derrick turn into a parking lot. She realized right away that he was stopping at the pharmacy.
When he was parked, he took the keys out of the ignition and paused before speaking. His voice was barely above a whisper, but in the silence of the car it sounded shockingly loud, "I'm, uh, going to get an icepack and some aspirin for your face. Do you want anything else?" He didn't look at her as he spoke and she watched his profile carefully before shaking her head.
He nodded and left the car. Massie watched him walk inside and realized that Oliver kind of walked like him. She suddenly wished she was back at home in Boston cuddling with Ollie on the couch watching one of his cartoons and having tickle fights.
She wished she'd never come to Westchester.
She wished her son was still her secret, hers to adore and care for all on her own.
She wished she could turn everything back to the way it was just 24 hours ago.
She wished a lot of things.
Flipping open the sun visor in the car, Massie looked in the mirror and grimaced at her appearance. Her face looked a lot worse than it felt really. Her lip probably hurt the most. The rest was a minor discomfort.
Sighing softly, she shut the mirror and leaned back in the seat, closing her eyes. She must have dozed off because she startled when Derrick opened the door. He got inside the car and wordlessly handed her the bag. She looked inside and immediately grabbed the bottle of water and aspirin. She needed it. Not for her face, but for her raging headache.
She opened her purse which lay in her lap and took out a makeup compact ready to undo some of the damage on her face.
He looked at her. His eyes were red. She wondered briefly if he had cried. "Don't even bother. The guys are going to beat the crap out of me anyway."
"It wasn't your fault." Massie said. "You were angry and I hit you first. I shouldn't have."
"It was my fault." Derrick replied. "And the details don't matter. You're a woman. Hitting you is never alright. If it were any of the guys who did something like this I would do the same."
"I'll defend you."
"I won't even defend myself. I can't believe I did that." He looked really bothered by how far their argument had gone. His hands were white from his tight grip the steering wheel as if he were afraid of what they were capable of.
Truthfully, Massie had suspected that things would get out of control. That's why she'd chosen a secluded spot. She didn't want anyone interrupting them while they screamed at the top of their lungs. She hadn't expected physical violence, per se, but as soon as he'd stepped out of the car, trembling with hate, she'd known that it wasn't improbable.
"Yeah well," Massie said looking in the mirror again as she applied cover up, "hating yourself isn't going to change anything. Believe me. I know all about self-loathing."
Derrick was quiet for a while, but he spoke up minutes later, "Why is that? Did you hate yourself after we did what we did?"
This caused Massie's hands to still where she had been lightly dabbing her eye with makeup.
When she didn't answer, Derrick pulled the car over again, this time on the side of the road. He sat there and waited for an answer, his eyes trained outside of his window.
"Didn't you?" She settled on asking finally.
He chuckled and she couldn't see his expression as he was turned away from her. "Yes. But not for the reasons you'd think."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that all these years I knew that what happened that night wasn't only me. When you left without so much as a word, I panicked. I thought that maybe I'd forced you and was too in the moment to realize that you didn't want it. But every night since then, I'd think about it and I'd remember. I'd focus on every single detail of being with you. And for that short period of time, you wanted me. Maybe not as much as I wanted you, but you did." He looked at her then. "And that was enough for me to not regret it."
Massie stiffened. "Even now?" She said with more annoyance than anger. "Even with your reputation on the line and your marriage in shambles? Even with the weight of a child on your conscience, a child conceived purely out of stupidity and lust?"
He looked away again. "I don't know."
"Exactly. You don't know anything." She spat returning to the mirror to apply her makeup. "So the answer to your question is yes. I did hate myself after what we did. Some days I still do. My poor judgement did give me a son, yes, but a son who deserves more than I've given him."
"And whose fault is that?" He growled. "If you thought that little boy deserved a father then why didn't you give him one? Why did you keep him from me? I take full responsibility for causing the conflict, but not for the problems that came with it. That's all on you, sweetheart."
Massie gave up on her face and shut her compact and the mirror. "I found out I was pregnant no more than 48 hours after I'd heard the announcement of your engagement. If you still can't manage to figure out what was going through my head when I lied to everyone, then you're not as smart as I thought you were. And should I have been the one to approach you, Derrick? Really? You never even tried to ask me how I felt about the whole situation-"
"I wrote you an email asking you to talk to me." He protested.
"No. You wrote me an email about you!" She shouted. "About your feelings and what you thought and what you were going through. I mean, my God, Derrick, did you really think that was enough? A lousy email. Sent the night before you fucking married the girl you cheated on with me. You made me feel dirty and used." The lump in her throat refused to go away as she croaked out her feelings and held back her tears.
"I-" he croaked, "I never intended on things turning out the way they did. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that you wanted space."
"I don't know what I wanted. But what you gave me wasn't it." Massie replied not with anger, but with honesty. "And I hated you for it. You got to move on and have the life you always wanted for yourself and I had to hide a major part of mine. I had to act like it didn't kill me that I had to stare into the face of a little boy who looked exactly you. But I got used to my life and I grew to love it. And I'm sorry if you think I'm cold and unfeeling to the fact that you're hurting, but that's entirely untrue. I'm just… scared that everyone in this town is going to take away the peace I've finally allowed myself to have."
"I won't." He said softly. For once, the tension in his body seemed to be gone completely. There was no anger or sadness… only determination. Massie knew by the way he said it that he was going to do whatever it took to make this work. "I just want to know my son. And raise him. Have him look at me with the adoration I saw him give you. Please, Massie. I'm begging you. Give me that. I won't let you down."
Massie stared at his face, looking out onto the road nervously. His hands wriggled in his lap and his knees bobbed up and down. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go see him."
~Clique~
When they got out of Derrick's car in front of Massie's house, they looked at each other.
"Let's go." Derrick said. His shoulders were stiff as if waiting for the blows that would surely come.
Massie had already made up a lie about what happened to her face. She didn't tell Derrick because he would be completely against it, but she didn't plan on letting their friends know anything of what happened an hour ago in the woods.
When they got inside, everyone looked at them. One look at Massie's face and Josh had lunged at Derrick. Massie threw herself in front of him, letting out a small 'oof' as Josh knocked into her while she pushed him back.
"Josh, stop!" Massie cried. "Derrick didn't do it."
"What?" He reeled back.
"I was crying and almost got into an accident. I hit my face on the do-"
"She's lying." Derrick whispered. His eyes were shamefully averted to the floor. "We were arguing and things got out of hand."
"You son of a bitch!" Cam shouted. "I told you guys that Claire was right and we shouldn't have let her go off with him alone."
"He didn't mean to." Massie defended.
"Do you hear yourself?" Alicia asked holding Massie's face gingerly. "Oh my Gawd, Massie. This is not okay! You hit her?" She looked at Derrick angrily.
"Can everyone calm down?" Massie said with frustration. "I don't want any of you to make this more than it is. He was already mad and I pushed. I hit him first. Him hitting me was just a reflex."
"I don't care. Get out." Claire said to Derrick.
"Claire, no." Massie responded immediately. "This is all getting out of hand. I need you guys to listen to me. Leave it alone. Where's Oliver?" She looked at Derrick. "I want Derrick to meet him." This was her peace offering. She couldn't give him the first three years he'd missed but she could give him now.
The group hesitated, not wanting to tell her before the situation with Derrick was handled, but with one heated look from Massie, she got an answer.
"He's upstairs with Theresa. He spilled something on his vest and Inez put it in the wash for him."
"Okay." Massie nodded. She went though her purse and looked for a mirror to make sure her hair was covering most of the bruise on her face. She didn't want Oliver to ask questions. "Let's go." She led Derrick up the stairs. They found him quickly. Theresa looked at her worriedly when she noticed them. She realized that both she and Derrick were not looking their best with their wrinkled clothing and her bleeding lip. She smiled and thanked the girl, who realized that this was a monumental moment and left them to themselves.
Oliver grinned at her, revealing his tiny, barely-there teeth. "Mommy."
"Hey, big guy. There's someone here who wants to meet you."
The little boy looked at Derrick but said nothing.
"Hi, Oliver. My name is Derrick." Derrick said, not making an attempt to move any closer. He watched the small boy closely though with a new light in his eyes that was not there just a moment ago.
The boy still only watched him wordlessly.
"He's not used to you." Massie explained. "Once as he knows you, he'll be more open. Oliver did you have fun today?"
He nodded. "I godda ball and played wiff Cam and Kent."
"Don't you mean Kemp?" Derrick smiled.
He shook his head. "No. Kent. Are you mommy's friend?"
"I am."
"What do I call you?"
"He told you his name already, silly. It's Derrick." Massie answered. "Oliver, you have to understand something though. Derrick's not just my friend." She leaned down and took both of his tiny hands into her own. "He's your daddy."
Derrick's breath caught in his throat at that admission. He'd thought that they would gradually get to the point where he could call Derrick any sort of paternal name, but Block didn't seem to think so.
Again, Oliver didn't answer. He was shy.
"You asked me the other day when you came back from Miss Bee's. You said your friend, Kyle, had a daddy and you asked me where yours was. This is him, Ollie. Do you think you want to call Derrick daddy?"
Oliver nodded shyly and looked at Derrick from beneath his lashes.
"Do you want to give daddy a hug?"
He nodded again.
Derrick leaned down and picked him up. He hugged the boy tightly and watched Massie over his shoulder. His eyes grew wet and he mouthed, 'Thank you' to her. She nodded in reply.
"Hey, buddy," Derrick sniffled wiping his eyes as he set him down on his feet. His voice was hoarse and tired but the amazement in his gaze watching the little boy made up for it. "I've been busy doing things and I never had the time to see you, but that's over now. I'm going to come by to see you and your mommy all the time now. I think we should do some fun things together so that we can get to know some more about each other. Sound good?"
Oliver looked up at his mother who was looking away and wiping her wet eyes. Finally, he turned back to Derrick. "Yes… I wanna watch TV now."
"TV? Sure. Come on." He held out his hand which Oliver grabbed and together, they began the walk down the stairs. Derrick waited patiently as the boy took his time to get down each step. The group watched Derrick watch his son as if he'd never seen a child before.
Dylan couldn't help it. She saw how happy Derrick looked, something that was so rare. What was even more rare was that Massie was in Westchester and seemed to be making no immediate plans to leave like she always did. For the first time in many years, the gang was all there; not as she'd originally pictured it, but no less perfect. She covered her mouth and started to cry.
~Clique~
Massie's parents got home a little earlier then they said they would and were surprised to see everyone sitting in their living room talking quietly instead of out on the town having fun. They failed to notice the looks on everyone's faces.
"Oh, goody," Kendra beamed, "you're all still here. I take it that you had a good t-"
"Massie," William Block cut in, "what happened to your face?"
Kendra then looked at her daughter and gasped. "Honey?"
Derrick stood from the couch where he sat and looked ready to confess.
Massie, however, broke in before he could speak.
"Derrick and I got into a small accident today." She lied easily. "We were in my car and I slammed on the brakes too hard. Unfortunately, our faces got the brunt of the force."
"Thank God it was only that." Alicia said playing along.
Massie sent Alicia a thankful look and sent the rest of the group a look clearly telling them to keep their mouths shut. Her friends knew Derrick and they could forgive him for what had occurred that afternoon between him and Massie, but her parents never would. And especially not after they discovered the secret Massie had kept from them.
Her parents looked seriously worried and proceeded to ask a series of questions that they tried to answer as smartly as possible.
"Derrick," her father said good-naturedly observing the purplish color around his nose, "that looks like quite a bruise. You two are okay, aren't you? I hope that you two made sure to call your insurance companies. Was anyone else on the road the cause of the accident?"
"No." Massie said softly. "We were just upset and not paying attention to the road." She knew the time was coming for everything to come out once and for all.
"Is everything alright? You all look a little shaken." Her mother asked trying not to be too imposing, but still curious.
"You know guys," Claire said loudly, "I think it's getting kind of late. We should all probably get going."
Everyone readily agreed and got up to go.
Massie glanced at her father and he seemed to realize just then that something was wrong. He looked at Massie. She held his gaze and already wanted to shrink into herself. She hugged her friends, who thanked her parents and left, leaving her and Derrick standing with her parents in the living room.
As soon as the front door shut, her father spoke.
"What is going on here?" He asked. His easy manner was gone and he now looked serious. "Derrick, where's Skye?"
Derrick swallowed and looked her father in the eyes. "At home, sir."
"Well why aren't you with her?" Her mother asked, setting her clutch down on the table.
"Skye and I are sort of going through a rough patch right now, Mrs. Block. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if she's packed her bags and left by now."
"But," Kendra's eyes flickered to Massie nervously, "it was only yesterday that I saw you two. You were fine."
Derrick couldn't figure out what to say to that so Massie intervened.
"Mom, Dad, if you could just sit down and listen to what we have to say."
Kendra sat down, but her father stood rigidly in his spot.
"I'll stand thank you." He said tersely. "Whatever you have to say, I'm strong enough to handle."
"Okay well…" Massie glanced at Derrick who seemed to freeze on her.
"Listen," her mother said in a low voice, "if this is what I think it's about, you need to end it. Now. Derrick, you have a wife at home who loves you. I don't know exactly what is going on between you and my daughter, but you have obligations. I think it'd be best for everyone involved to keep their reputations intact and end whatever affair is happening immediately."
"Mother, we're not having an affair." Massie replied.
Neither she nor Derrick missed the looks of relief on her parents' face. Oh boy.
"Hold on one second, please. Just wait here." Massie said softly and went upstairs to her room where she'd left her son sleeping soundly on the bed.
She found him lying there peacefully. His rosy cheeks looked so soft and she brushed a finger lightly across his face before lifting his body into her arms. His head lulled to the side before she moved it to lie comfortably on her shoulder. Taking a deep breath, she kissed her son's head and began to walk down the stairs.
She found her parents sitting in tense silence with Derrick, who looked scared out of his mind. The severity of the situation appeared to be hitting him as he realized that people would now have to be informed of the child Massie had carried by him. The room felt so small to him suddenly.
When they saw her, Kendra and William's eyes bugged out of their heads.
"Mom and Dad, this is…," she took a deep breath, "This is Oliver. Oliver Block."
When they said nothing, Derrick decided to speak up. "Soon to be Oliver Harrington. This is our son."
Massie felt shivers up her spine at the silence in the room. She didn't dare glance at Derrick.
"Oh my God." Her mother whispered. Her lips were trembling as she stared at the little boy.
Her father, for once, was actually speechless. He looked like a fish out of water with his mouth sputtering for the right words. Finally, he got out the one word, "Explain."
Massie was surprised when Derrick responded to her father's demand. "A few years ago, around the same time I proposed to Skye, Massie and I, we… slept together. I was unfaithful to my then girlfriend and I got Massie pregnant. Needless to say, what Massie and I did effectively destroyed our friendship and we completely broke off ties with one another. I stupidly asked Skye to marry me and Massie, understandably, felt that she couldn't tell me that she was pregnant. She had the baby in Boston and I married Skye. And today, we all discovered that she'd been keeping something from us. I have a son. Wehave a son." He nodded to the little boy in Massie's arms.
Massie could hear her mother's sobs but couldn't bear to look at her mother and father. She could feel the weight of her guilt squeezing her heart into a knot.
"I'm sorry." Massie said, her voice wobbly with emotion, trying to speak over her mother's cries. "I am so unbelievably sorry. I understand if you no longer want me here. I have lied to you both for a very, very long time and I don't expect an ounce of your sympathy. Mom," she said with tear-filled eyes, "I know how much you want grandkids and I can't imagine what you're thinking right now. I kept him from you. I kept him from his father. From everyone. It was wrong. And selfish. And I'm starting to see that now. But don't take this out on him. I'd still very much like for you to know each other if that's alright with you."
Her father smoothed a hand over his pronounced jaw and shut his eyes. "I don't know what you expect to hear from us right now."
Massie opened her mouth to say something, but he wasn't finished.
"I mean, you're distant and secretive for three years without any explanation. We figured you were keeping something from us and we waited to for you to come clean on your own terms. We figured it was a man in your life you were afraid to let us meet and we were fine with that. But all this time, you had a child. A child, Massie. With a married man. I just…. It's like I don't even know who you are anymore."
That broke Massie's heart. "I'm still me." She whispered. "I'm still your daughter. I just also happen to be a mother."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Kendra voiced suddenly. "D-did you think we were going to turn our backs on you? How could you do such a thing, Massie? How could you keep a child from us? From me? I always thought we were closer than that. I told you since you were a child that you could tell me anything." Her amber eyes were glowing like Massie's often did when her emotions were out of whack. Still, she sat with perfect posture and her skirt smoothed down neatly.
"I know," Massie said. "But I was young, mom. I had just started my life and I already screwed up. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me."
Kendra stood and wiped her nose daintily with a handkerchief. "I could never."
Massie's eyes averted to the floor.
"And you?" Her father voiced suddenly to Derrick. "You have nothing to say?"
Derrick looked uncomfortable but stood his ground. "Massie and I both screwed up. It's impossible to fix it now, but honestly, I think apology time is over. Your daughter and I have already taken responsibility for our mistakes. Now all I want is what's best for Oliver. I'm willing to make it up to him more than anyone."
At the little boy's name, Kendra stepped closer and Massie, understanding what she wanted handed the boy over.
Together, the four of them glanced at the child that connected them all indefinitely. The small blonde with chubby fingers and puffy lips had instantly made their priority lists and jumped to the number one spot.
&Clique&
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