Chapter 4: Holding on for Life
.
.
Girl take a seat, rest your weary bones
Your secrets safe in my hands
Tell me about the years and
Let me by an hour
Maybe help me to understand
Ooh ain't nobody calling
Ain't nobody home
What a lovely day to be lonely
.
Dusk settled in around them, it was clear to everyone that they would not want to be wandering the tracks after the herd that had just passed through.
Her now clean hands ran over the back of her neck. "Look Rick. I'm not asking you to trust me." She looked around the group. "After everything, it would be naïve of me to even think that you could. All I'm saying is we're both going to the same place and you all look like you could use the extra hands to get there."
"Well," Rick sighed. "You sure don't beat around the bush."
"Fucking waste of time if you ask me." Harper spoke.
"Here, here." Merle said, with a smirk.
After a few moments of consideration, Rick nodded his head and took a leap. "Sounds like a plan. We rest for the night and leave in the morning."
Silence fell over the group.
After a few moments, a yawn from Carl broke the peace. Harper stood and made her way over towards the boy, catching Rick's eyes as she did so. Hoping to reassure the man before her that she meant his son no harm. Falling to her knees before the boy, she met his eyes under the brim of his hat, ignoring the tense look from Michonne beside her.
"Why were you singing?" Carl's question surprised the group. It had been the first time he had spoken since the incident the night before. Rick couldn't stop the feeling of relief that flew through him at the sound of his sons' voice.
"When you're in a group, you've got more eyes to watch your back." Harper responded sadly. "I was held down, my bolts, arrows, most of my knives gone. After killing the first group of them, they kept on coming out of the trees.
Eyes widening slightly, Carl leaned closer towards the woman in awe.
"I found a safe place. A high spot to hold up." She shrugged. "I figured I may as well try to take them all out at once, so I started singing. When they stopped coming out of the trees, I figured I got 'em all." Her face scrunched up a bit. "Would have fucking sucked if I managed to take out the lot of 'em just to be taken down by a straggler."
Daryl felt a grin stretch across his face, thinking that the crazy woman before them was actually pretty smart.
Reaching out, Harper clasped both hands around one of Carls. "I would be honoured, sheriff, if you would take my tent for the night." Looking over at Michonne's softening features, she added. "It may be tight, but you and Rick are more than welcome to take it too. Don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight anyways."
Michonne looked over to Rick who nodded.
Harper smiled and pulled her hand away. The group noticed a surprised look on Carl's face and a wide smile that followed shortly after. He nodded his head at the woman and headed off towards the tent, Michonne trailing closely behind.
"I missed something there." Rick said with a curious expression on his face.
"I hope you don't mind." The woman chuckled. "I gave him the last of my candy stash."
"Thank you." Rick laughed with a short nod of his head. "It's good to see him smile."
Clapping her hands together, she looked over to the cowboy who was scanning the dark woods around them. "So, I think it's about time I take a look at those injuries."
"Regular Dr. fucking Doolittle." The voice in her head returned.
Daryl thought he could feel her gaze settle on him, and whipped his head around. "Nah, woman. I'm fine."
"Dammit, little brother. This fine piece of ass wants to check you out." Merle laughed. "And you're saying no?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Daryl answered. "It ain't that bad."
"Alright, sugar tits." Merle leaned back against the tree behind him, sprawling his legs out. "Looks like it's just you and ol' Merle."
She walked over to the smaller backpack they had seen her carrying earlier and reached in to pull out an impressively large first aid kit and a small flashlight. Passing the light over to the younger Dixon, she headed over to Merle. Sitting down on the ground cross-legged beside him, she reached over and gently grabbed his hand and placed it in her lap.
Pulling it closely to her face, she examined the wound. She dropped Merle's hand into her lap and unzipped the first aid kit. Feeling a gentle rubbing on her thigh, she glanced up to Merle as she grabbed one of the large syringes full of saline solution. With the exception of the smirk on his lips, he had an innocent expression plastered across his face.
Harper chuckled. "Coppin' a feel there, buddy?"
"Whadda ya expect?" The grin on his face grew. "I ain't met a woman like ya in quite some time."
Daryl shook his head. It was turning out that they had been fortunate in finding this woman. A woman who was able to stand strong on her own, willing to share her supplies and provide them with what food and shelter she had. As usual, Merle, simply being Merle, was going to fuck it up for them all.
It surprised him when the woman answered as she continued to place some bandages and tape on the top of her kit. "Well, I appreciate that, but just keep it PG-13 and we won't have any problems."
Merle chuckled and looked over to his little brother. "I like this one."
He was even more surprised when the woman said, "I like ya too, ol' man."
"Ol' man?" Merle asked incredulously. "I'll show you just what this ol' man can do, ya give me the chance."
"Just shut up and give me your hand." Harper reached down to grab the hand he held out to her. "What the hell have ya been doing to this thing? Only got one left, think ya'd treat it better."
Her eyes widened as she stared up at him, realizing the words that had fallen from her lips and instantly afraid that he may take it the wrong way. His grin widened as he stared down at him. "Really don't beat around that bush do ya?"
"Waste of time." She said with a smile as she pushed the plunger on the syringe and Daryl watched as she expertly cleaned Merle's knuckles free of the grit that had accumulated in the wound.
"Here, here." Merle whispered.
After the wound was clean, she reached down for the bandages and wrapped his knuckles quickly. Holding the edge so it wouldn't unravel, she grabbed the tape and worked a corner free with her thumb. Tearing a strip with her teeth, she taped the edge shut.
Merle was entranced, watching the woman gently clean and bandage his wounds with a care he couldn't ever recall experiencing before. "Now, let's get a look at that face of yours."
Waving over to Daryl, she asked, "Do you mind shining a light? Getting dark and I wouldn't want to mess up this pretty face."
Both Dixon's chuckled, and Daryl neared the two following her request. The flashlight beam was dull, so she moved incredibly close.
"Damn, sweetheart." Merle said in a throaty voice. "You smell good."
"Thank you for lying." She said. Focusing hard on Merle's face, she leaned in closer. "Damn, can't see shit. Can you get the light a little closer?"
Obeying, he brought the light in as close to Merle as he could, but his brothers' features were still covered in shadows. She sighed before sitting up and straddling his brothers' legs.
The shock that flashed across Merle's face was priceless to his younger brother. But he watched as the shock quickly changed to his usual leer. Before he could even utter a word, Harper leaned back and looked directly into his eyes. "Remember what I said. PG-13."
"Stop encouraging this!" The voice in her head exclaimed. "I'd almost think you enjoy it."
Merle's bandaged hand instantly made its way to her hip, an innocent smile splayed across his face as Harper sent him a disapproving look. Then rolled her eyes and leaned over, grabbing the syringe and a cloth. Daryl noticed that the bottom of her wife-beater rose to give him a good look at the tight muscles of her lower back.
When she went to pass the items over to Daryl, she notice his stare and couldn't help the faint blush that flushed her cheeks when she saw the hungry look in his eyes. As she looked back to Merle, she could tell that he had noticed this as well by the knowing smirk on his face.
To Daryl's surprise, his elder brother reached his arms around the woman before him and pulled her close. Holding her head close to his ear. He could see his brother whispering words towards her, but he just couldn't hear them.
He watched as she tore herself away from her brothers' grip, a blush running through her cheeks as she stared down towards him.
His brother let out a loud chuckle. "Now, that's what I thought."
"Shut up ol' man." Bringing her hands up to his face, she traced her fingers gently along the bruise over his cheek. "This might hurt a bit." She added a bit of pressure, feeling for any fissures in the bone. "Ain't broke." She said after she fully examined his nasal bone.
"Damn, sweetheart." He laughed deeply. "I could have just told you that."
"I'm sure you could," She smiled, reaching over to Daryl to grab the items she had recently passed over to him. "This cut is too small for stiches, we'll just have to keep it clean."
Merle's eyes closed as she tenderly placed the cloth below the small cut on his eyebrow. Holding the syringe above the wound, she pushed the plunger and cleaned the wound while preventing any of the cleaning solution from falling into his eye.
"There." She gently blew into the wound. "All done." Her eyes sparkled as she flashed him a brilliant smile and rose from his lap. "Okay, who's next?"
.
You're holding on for life
Holding on for life oh
Holding on for life
You're holding on for life
Holding on for life oh
Holding on for life
.
Light another cigarette
Burning in the cold
Waiting on the street for your man
You're trying not to look so
Young and miserable
You gotta get your kicks while you can
In the lighted corner, sitting on your own
What a lovely day to be lonely
.
Staring towards the dying embers of the fire before him, Rick couldn't stop his thoughts from racing through him.
He was tired. He was worn. He was guilty.
He second guessed his every action at the prison, thinking that any different choice would have steered them through the clutches of the Governor with more of their family together. Had he had made a different decision, maybe none of this would have happened. Glen, Maggie, they would have all been sitting beside him.
But here he was, broken. His friends and family lost in the wind around him.
"Rick." A gentle voice broke through his thoughts. He looked towards the thoughts through a haze. "I'm just going to take a quick look at you before you pass out on us."
His eyes focused on the brilliant green eyes as they stared deeply towards him and he nodded his head slightly. The concern for him displayed deeply through the depths of her gaze. He nodded bobbed his head in agreement.
He felt her warm hands on his knees, gently pushing them down before him. After a quick glance towards Daryl, a light bounced his way towards them. He watched as she straddled the legs now splayed out before him, shock at the action sending his hands out to tightly grasp around her thighs.
He hadn't been paying attention to how she had treated the elder Dixon, and her actions had caught her by surprise.
Looking towards her, he noticed the slight gleam in her eyes as she sighed. "Not you too?" She chuckled as she leaned back to give him as much space as she could. "Can't see much, have to get close."
Rick nodded silently and she leaned closer towards him. Rick could feel her breath across his face, his hands unconsciously tightening around her waist.
Nodding slightly, he leaned his head backwards. He didn't know what else to do, so he tried to pull away. She reached out, her hands clasping his face, gently. He held back a sigh as he nearly leaned into her gentle caress.
"There's bleeding." Her worried voice spread across the group. "But I can't find the source."
His head fell forward and he nodded slightly. Rick didn't want her to see the conflicting emotions on his face when he thought about how that blood had appeared. "It's not my blood."
"Good." Harper simply nodded. Her hand gently cupping his chin and pulling his face towards her. Her green eyes intently searching his face.
Not seeing any facial injuries, she hopped off his lap and grabbed his hand. She quickly cleaned and wrapped his damaged right hand as she had done with Merle.
"Hey," Her voice interrupted the silence that had befallen the group as she worked. "Think it's 'bout time you head off and get some rest."
"Alright." It was all Rick could say as he pushed himself up off the ground and made his way towards the tent.
.
You're holding on for life
Holding on for life oh
Holding on for life
You're holding on for life
Holding on for life oh
Holding on for life
.
Standing above the spot Rick had last sat, she watched as he disappeared through the tent flaps. After a moment of hesitation, she looked toward the final man and shot him a small smile and raised her eyebrows. "Saved the best for last."
Daryl's eyes widened in surprise at the same time the voice in her head whispered. "Best for last? You've lost your damn mind."
"Damn it, little brother." Merle spoke from his spot against the tree. "Let the sweetheart here help ya out."
Silently, the younger Dixon nodded his head and made his way over to where Merle was resting. He slid down the tree and passed the flashlight over to his brother who mimicked the way Daryl had shone the light in his own face earlier.
He waved his arm in an aggravated 'come here' gesture as he stared out into the woods.
Harper gently sat on the younger Dixon's lap, his eyes never moving from their spot in the woods. She reached out and placed her fingers on the edge of his chin, gently turning it towards her.
His blue eyes finally found her face. He was amazed at the gentle care and attention she was giving him as her eyes intently examined his injured cheek.
"This might hurt." Harper said apologetically, as her fingers pressed tenderly at the large bruise. Although Daryl didn't flinch, his arms shot out to her waist. His large, calloused hands gripping above her hips.
Their eyes finally met, brilliant blue and deep green. A slight smile flittered across her face as she felt a light heat rise to her cheeks, she bowed her head slightly in an attempt to hide the thoughts visibly playing out on her face.
After a few moments, she raised her head again. "You've got a zygomatic fracture." Daryl looked at her puzzled. "Your cheeks broken." Unconsciously, Daryl's thumbs began to move against her tight stomach. "There's really not much that I can do. You're going to have a nasty bruise for awhile though."
Daryl shrugged, pulling his hands away from her as if he had been burned. "Had worse."
"Ya two gonna fuck?" Merle's booming voice questioned from the side. "'Cause if I'm gonna keep watching, it best start getting interesting."
.
Well you might belong to another time
Still you have to carry on here
Nowhere else to go and you never know
What to hide and what to show, no
.
Making her way back to the small fire, she held the two items carefully. To offer them up to the two men staring intently into the flames would be to open herself up. This has and had always been the ultimate symbol of trust for her.
She noticed the moment Merle noticed the items in her hand by the way he sat up a little straighter, his eyes twinkling and smile widening. "Well, well. What do you got there, sugar tits?"
Making the call, she tossed the small package towards the one-handed man who easily caught it. "I thought we could use a bit of a celebration."
Daryl looked up, slightly confused until he saw what Merle was playing around with. A pack of cigarettes. The side of the younger Dixon's mouth twisted up into a half-grin as his brother expertly shook one out of the pack before tossing it over.
Harper sat down beside Daryl, her arm inches away from his as he, too, grabbed one from the pack before handing it back. They passed the lighter around and inhaled deeply. All quietly enjoying the moment.
After a while, they tossed their cigarettes into the fire and Harper opened the cap of a bottle of Gibson's.
They passed the bottle, enjoying the silence that had fallen over the woods as they waited for the new day to arrive.
.
You're holding on for life
Holding on for life oh
Holding on for life
You're holding on for life
Holding on for life oh
Holding on for life
.
.
Holding On For Life - Broken Bells