Chapter 4

Switzerland knew he had to get the scary story out of Liechtenstein's head or she'd be too scared to go to sleep. He called the only other people he could think of.

The Nordics showed up at his door quickly. Finland smiled and waved. Denmark strode in and said, "So Liechtenstein needs a bedtime story? I'll handle it."

"What makes you think you can be the one to tell the story?" said Norway.

"Hello! Hans Christian Anderson wrote some of the best fairytales ever!"

Norway rolled his eyes. Denmark sat in what was now starting to be called the Storyteller's Chair and began.

"Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to find a princess, but she would have to be a real princess. So he traveled all around the world to find one, but there was always something wrong. There were princesses enough, but he could never be sure that they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not quite right. So he came home again and was sad, for he so much wanted to have a real princess.

"One evening there was a terrible storm. It thundered and lightninged! The rain poured down! It was horrible! Then there was a knock at the city gate, and the old king went out to open it.

"A princess was standing outside. But my goodness, how she looked from the rain and the weather! Water ran down from her hair and her clothes. It ran into the toes of her shoes and out at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real princess.

'Well, we shall soon find that out,' thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bedroom, took off all the bedding and laid a pea on the bottom of the bed. Then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the pea, and then twenty featherbeds of eiderdown on top of the mattresses.

"That was where the princess was to sleep for the night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.

'Oh, horribly!' she said. 'I hardly closed my eyes all night. Goodness knows what there was in the bed! I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It is horrible!'

"Now they could see that she was a real princess, because she had felt the pea right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty featherbeds. Nobody but a real princess could be that sensitive.

"So the prince took her for his wife, because now he knew that he had a real princess. And the pea was put in the art gallery where it can still be seen, unless someone has taken it.

"Now see, that was a real story!"

Denmark leaned back in the chair, smiling smugly. Liechtenstein smiled. She liked the story a lot.

Then Sweden pushed Denmark out of the Storyteller's Chair and sat down. Liechtenstein looked at him curiously. "Th's," he said, "is a st'ry ab't a fool'sh wish."

"There w's once an old woman, who w's all alone one evenin' in 'er cottage, occupied w'th 'er h'seh'ld 'ffairs. Wh'le sh' was waitin' for 'er husband, who w's aw'y at wor' o'er in th' f'rest, and wh'le sh' was bustlin' ab't, a fine, gr'nd lady came in, and so th' woman began to curtsy and curtsy, for sh' had never seen such a grand person before.

'I should be so much obl'ged if y' would lend me y'r brewin' pan,' said th' lady, 'f'r my daughter is goin' to be married, and I expect guests fr'm all parts.'

"Oh, dear, yes! Tha' sh' might have, said th' woman, although sh' could not remember whether sh' 'ad ever seen 'er before, and so sh' w'nt to fetch th' pan.

"Th' lady took it, an' thanked the woman, sayin' that sh' would pay 'er well f'r the loan of it, and so sh' w'nt 'er way.

"Two days afterwards th' lady came back w'th it, an' this time sh' also found th' woman 'lone.

'M'ny thanks f'r th' loan,' said th' lady. 'An' now in return y' shall have three wishes.'

"An' with th's th' lady left, and' vanished so quickly that th' old woman had not even time to ask 'er name or where sh' lived. But that did not matter, sh' thought, for now sh' had three wishes, an' sh' began to think what sh' should wish f'r. Sh' expected 'er husband back soon, and sh' thought it would be best to wait until he came home an' could have a say in th' matter. But th' least they could wish f'r must be a fine big farm -- the best in th' parish, an' a box full of money, an' just fancy how happy and' comfortable they would be then, f'r they had worked so hard all their days! Ah, yes, then th' neighbors would have something to wonder at, f'r y' may guess how they would stare at all th' fine things sh' would have.

"But since they were now so rich it w's really a shame that there should be nothin' but some blue, sour m'lk an' some hard crusts of bread in th' cupboard f'r 'er husband when he came home tired an' weary, he who w's fond of hot food. Sh' had just been to 'er neighbor's an' there she had seen a fine big sausage, which they were going to have f'r supper.

'Ah, deary me, I wish I had that sausage here!' sighed th' old woman; an' th' next moment a big sausage lay on th' table right before 'er.

"Sh' was just goin' to put it in th' pan when 'er husband came in.

'Father, father!' cried th' woman, 'it's all over with our troubles an' hard work now. I lent m' brewing pan to a fine lady, an' when sh' brought it back sh' promised we should have three wishes. An' now y' must help me to wish f'r somethin' really good, f'r y'r so clever at hittin' upon th' right thing – an' it's all true, f'r just look at th' sausage, which I got th' moment I wished f'r it!'

'What do y' mean, y' silly old woman?' shouted th' husband, who became angry. 'Have y' been wishing f'r such a paltry thing as a sausage, when y' might have had anythin' y' liked in th' world? I wish th' sausage were stickin' to y'r nose, since y' haven't any better sense.'

"All at once th' woman gave a cry, f'r sure enough there w's th' sausage sticking to 'er nose; an' sh' began tearin' and pullin' away at it, but th' more sh' pulled th' firmer it seemed to stick. Sh' w's not able to get it off.

'Oh, dear! oh, dear!' sobbed th' woman. 'Y' don't seem to have any more sense th'n I, since y' can wish me such ill luck. I only wanted something nice f'r y', an' then -- , oh dear! oh, dear!' an' th' old woman w'nt on cryin' and sobbin'.

"Th' husband tried, of course, to help 'is wife to get rid of th' sausage; but f'r all he pulled an' tugged away at it he did not succeed, an' he w's nearly pullin' h's wife's head off 'er body.

"But they had one wish left, an' what were they now to wish?

"Yes, what were they to wish? They might, of course, wish f'r something very fine an' grand; but what could they do with all th' finery in th' world, as long as th' mistress of th' house had a long sausage sticking to th' end of 'er nose? Sh' would never be able to show 'erself anywhere!

'Y' wish f'r something,' said th' woman in th' midst of 'er cryin'.

'No, y' wish,' said th' husband, who also began cryin' when he saw th' state 'is wife w's in, an' saw th' terrible sausage hangin' down 'er face.

"So he thought he would make th' best use he could of th' last wish, an' said, 'I wish m' wife w's rid of that sausage.'

"An' th' next moment it w's gone! They both became so glad that they jumped up an' danced around th' room in great glee – f'r y' must know that although a sausage may be ever so nice when y' have it in y'r mouth, it is quite a different thing to have one stickin' to y'r nose all y'r life."

"That was a great story Su-san."

Sweden stood up and put his arm around Finland's shoulders. He said, "We n'd t' go n'w." The Nordics left Switzerland's house. The Allies left next and then the Axis. Hungary went to the guest room after thanking Switzerland for letting her stay.

Switzerland went to turn out Liechtenstein's light when he heard her murmur, "One more story, brother."