Previously...

"Now," he continued as Lily sighed. "Let's get you back to the dorm, without waking up half the castle."

The carriage ride was bumpy but Lily slept like a log the whole way.

"Evans wake up, we're here," came James cautious voice. Lily's green eyes flew open, her pupils dilating rapidly in the gentle glow emanating off the Hogwarts castle before them. Lily yawned widely, stretching her arms out and then giving off a content little sigh. She caught James watching her and glanced in his direction. He looked away, opening the door with a click and stepping out into the snow. Lily slid across the dragon-hide seat and followed him out into the night. She ignored his attempt to help her down. She jumped and landed unsteadily, almost falling into the snow. James snickered quietly. She glared over at him.

"I'm only clumsy now because been drinking," she defended herself. He raised one eyebrow at her as the carriage drove away.

"Come on," muttered James, turning and walking towards the huge oak doors. Lily pulled James's black jacket closer around her and matched her stride to his. Lily wanted to give him his jacket back; she could see his hairless, tanned arms covered with goose bumps. But he didn't shiver, nor did he do or say anything really apart from stride purposefully towards the doors, his dark eyes fixed ahead.

"You're lucky tomorrow's a Saturday," he finally smirked. She looked at him quizzically. "What with the hangover you're going to have."

Lily scowled. "I'm not that drunk."

"You're drunk enough."

"You know, that was my favourite coat," grumbled Lily, thinking of her furry fleece, left at the club's cloak hooks.

"I'll pick it up for you tomorrow morning then," James laughed.

They reached the doors, James placing one hand onto the handles before turning to look at her seriously.

"We need to be quiet," he said slowly, as if he were talking to a three-year old. Lily stuck her tongue out at him, earning herself a wolfish grin in return. He pushed the door open, wincing when it creaked. She hurried in before him, her eyes widening in shock when he closed the door and they were plunged into complete blackness. She felt a cool hand seize hers and haul her into the darkness.

"It's so dark – how do you know where we're going?" whispered Lily, feeling a blissful bubble swell up near her chest at his touch. She couldn't quite keep the unease from her voice. She needed to hear James speak and break the eerie silence.

"Years of experience," He let out a ghostly chuckle from beside her. "Scared Evans?" he squeezed her hand gently as he said this. His hand was an anchor in her mind, keeping her steady. The faint feeling had returned to her head, nausea rolled over her senses.

"Just not used to it," she replied quietly. She could just make out outlines of the corridor they were now walking through.

"There are torch brackets when we reach the grand staircase. Lumos!"

"Are you crazy?" muttered Lily anxiously, squinting at the light which flared off the tip of James wand. He let go of her hand and pulled a piece of parchment from his pants pocket.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"What?!"

"Evans it's a map, there isn't anyone around," James assured her. "No humans, anyway." He shoved the map back into his pocket and grasped her hand again, pulling her forward and into the torch-lit grand staircase. Suddenly, one of Lily's shaky knees gave way; she tumbled forward, cushioning her fall somewhat with her outstretched hands.

"What the–? Evans! Lily, are you alright?" demanded James. He rolled her over to find her laughing hysterically.

"Yes," she managed to wheeze out, clutching her stomach and feeling tears spring to her eyes. James lips were twitching but he seemed determined not to laugh at her while she was in this state. He held out his hand and she gladly took it, heaving herself up and fighting to control her spasms of giggles.

"Nox!" muttered James, shaking his head at her and looking away. The blazing light disappeared; he shoved the wand into his back pocket.

They climbed the staircase with some difficulty, Lily refusing to jump certain gaps to James high amusement. She felt high on his every glance, every touch. They ambled down the last corridor before finally reaching the Fat Lady. The woman looked at them in disapproval.

"Lions tail," declared James.

"Correct," muttered the Fat Lady reluctantly. She glared once at his face and then his shiny prefect badge before heaving out a sigh and swinging forward. Lily bit back a snicker as she followed him through the portrait hole.

The dormitory's torches were all out, the cozy room lit dully by the flickering remains of the small fire. James stood at the base of the girl's stairway.

"Night," he said casually, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. Lily stared, dazed, at him for a moment. His face in the glow of the fire resembled that of a mythological god. How much have I drank? She thought jadedly.

"Lily?" asked James uncertainly. Lily shrugged his jacket off her shoulders and threw it onto the comfy maroon couch.

"I'm not tired." She lied, approaching him. James rolled his eyes at her.

"It's –," he checked his watch "–almost two in the morning, of course you're tired." He ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly.

"No," grinned Lily. "I'm not." He raised one eyebrow, looking down at her. In one movement, she snatched the map out of his front pocket.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," she promised, copying his earlier words and walking over to the couch.

"Lily what're you – ?"

"Wow how does this thing work?" she said to herself, unfolding the parchment. She heard James footfalls, following her wearily across the common-room.

"It's even got our names on it," she mused, pointing. "Hey, how come McGonagall's the only dot moving?"

"What?"

James was there within the second, snatching the parchment from her hands.

"How…?" he breathed. "She's coming down the corridor, get upstairs now!"

Lily recoiled from the urgency in his tone. Her heart thumped, thinking that in these short moments she'll spoil the long-cherished Hogwarts tradition of illegal Hogsmeade student parties. She sprinted up the stairs two at a time, grabbing the door to her room and attempting to wrench it open. It didn't budge.

"James, it's locked!" she hissed down at him.

"Use your wand!"

"I left it inside!" she realized with horror. How could I be so stupid? She'd never, never left her wand in the dormitory when she went out. James growled in frustration, attempting to leap up the stairs. They magically transformed into a slide as he knew they would. He landed cat-like, back onto the floor in a crouch. Straightening up, he motioned for her to come back down. Lily bounded down the stairs.

"Lion's tail," said a stern, woman's voice from outside. James grabbed her roughly by the arm and propelled her up the boy's staircase. Lily tripped and felt James catch her, carrying her up the rest of the way.

She heard the portrait swing forward as James whispered "Alohamora!" into the door to the left of the main one. She noticed the prefect's sign painted onto its front before James wrenched it open and set her down, closing the door with a click behind him.

The room was silent, except for Lily and James's deep breathing. James stood by the door, listening attentively while Lily stared at him, his face pale in the moonlight streaming through the window. Finally realizing she'd never been into a prefect's bedroom, she looked around herself. From what she could see in the minimal light, there were three beds – not four poster beds like the rest of the school – but real, fair-sized beds with embroidery crimson quilts. She guessed the other two beds were Sirius and Remus's – the other two Gryffindor prefects. It was a very messy room, with robes and books strewn across the floor and quilts.

"She's…." whispered James, his head down, eyes closed – "…gone." His voice was confident now. He looked up and moved towards Lily immediately, his face wounded.

"I'm so sorry," he said softly, hesitantly reaching out and massaging her arm. Lily didn't notice until now that it was aching dully. "I didn't mean to treat you that way; I've never been so rude to a girl, its just – you don't understand, the amount of trouble you, we would be in –,"

Lily pulled her arm out of his hands, to wrap hers around his neck. She stared up at his surprised eyes, her chest heaving with her labored nervous breaths. After another moment's hesitation, his mouth came down hard on hers, arms coiling around her waist and arching her back as he pulled her against him. He was kissing her with an urgency close to violence but Lily opened her mouth willingly against his. Her body still bowed against his, her hands delved into his untidy hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and dragging him closer. She could feel indecision radiating off him in hot waves. Lily let go of his hair with one hand to grab his belt buckle.

Suddenly James's lips were unyielding, stiff. His arms came from around her waist to gently pry her hands from him. Their eyes fluttered open simultaneously when James pulled back.

"I can't do this now, not tonight," his voice was conflicted and hoarse. "It would be like I'm taking advantage of you –,"

"I know what I want, drunk or not!"

"Lily," he smiled down at her, his grip on her wrists was resilient. "This isn't you."

Lily stared up at him, his face breathtaking. "But – you don't even know me."

"I thought I did."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She looked away, staring at the moon through the open window.

"Well in all honesty you're someone who wouldn't behave the way you have all of yesterday."

"How would you know," snarled Lily. James released one of her wrists, using his fingertips to gently grasp her chin and turn it towards him.

"Lily," he breathed. Against her will, their eyes were linked again – green on dark brown. She didn't like the look in his. It was enthralling, drawing her in. "Tell me."

Lily didn't need an explanation to know what he meant. She stared into his eyes and saw everything she wanted to see there; trust, loyalty…love. But she didn't want the memory of tonight to be tainted with gloomy talk.

"I'm tired," said Lily in a monotone. James groaned.

"You're annoying," he realized. She burst into quiet laughter. He smiled in spite of himself.

Lily yawned and looked around herself. "Well this could be awkward," she commented. James smirked.

"You can sleep in my bed; I'll sleep in Sirius's. It better not smell," he added to himself in an undertone. James strode over to the middle bed and sat on the foot of it, taking off his shoes and socks. Lily edged over to the bed next to Sirius's and unstrapped her heels.

"Lucky I'm in a comfortable dress," she slid under the covers, turning to her side comfortably and watching him. He kicked the shoes and socks across the room and pulled his fitted black shirt over his head. Lily tried unsuccessfully to be subtle about staring. He ruffled his hair up before throwing his shirt over with the shoes. Lily cursed under her breath as her eyes widened at his toned torso. He glanced over at her, grinning when she suddenly found the chandelier very interesting.

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all. He climbed into Sirius's bed. "I can't stand sleeping with a shirt on."

Surrre you can't, Lily thought.

"You looked beautiful tonight," said James, his voice unreadable. It then became amused. "I tried not to notice."

Lily didn't speak. There were a few more moments of comfortable silence.

"So, why are you suddenly so interested in my personal life?" asked Lily, speaking to the ceiling with her eyes closed. She didn't want to go sleep; no doubt she would have nightmares. His bed had a pleasant smell to it, almost earthy – she tried to concentrate on that instead.

"Well I knew there was something wrong with you when you started actually talking to me," James joked. Lily smiled to herself.

"I know it sounds stupid," he continued. "But I don't mind you keep being weird if that means you'll treat me like this from now on. I keep thinking we'll wake up tomorrow and you won't love me anymore."

Lily's eyes flew open. She took a moment to breathe. "What makes you think I love you now?"

James yawned widely. "Most women do."

--

Lily heard herself groan before she'd even opened her eyes. She licked her lips and winced when they stung from the moisture. Her eyelids cracked open and she moaned again, forgetting where she was. Squinting in response to the sun streaming through the open window, she glanced around the prefect's bedroom to find it empty. Her head was spiraling.

I feel terrible, she thought, confused. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, remembering she had last-nights make up on when then back of her hand came down covered in eyeliner. Lily looked around herself, still squinting, for the time. She did a double take on when she saw James's alarm clock read two o'clock in the afternoon. She turned and seized the small metal clock, checking to make sure the second hand was, indeed ticking.

Holy crow, two o'clock? She tried to remember everything that happened last night. The party, the drinking, James…the kiss. It was a little fuzzy around the edges.

Lily then remembered that her mother was dead. It hit her like the Hogwarts express, right in the chest. She started to realize she might just need to stop running and face her grief head on. Well not hung over I won't. She threw the quilt off her legs and hurriedly strapped her shoes on. The wind from the open window was already giving her goose bumps. She stood up, a little unbalanced and turned to check she hadn't left anything in the room.

She wondered where James was, missing his presence already. Her hand froze on the doorknob. The coat she'd left at the club was hanging on the bedroom door's bronze hook. She plucked it off hesitantly. Her stomach dropped when she realized she'd left the letters from Petunia in the front pocket. She undid all the buttons and searched every nook and cranny of the coat to find nothing. With a growing feeling of unease, she exited the prefect's dormitory, allowing herself one wistful look over her shoulder at its innards.

Hurrying down the steps, she wasn't surprised to find the dormitory empty – it was a beautiful, snowy, Saturday afternoon. She knew the door to the girl's dormitory would not be locked this time – it wasn't after hours. She closed it behind her and jogged over to her bed, heels clanging against the wooden floorboards. She pulled her blanket backwards, checking under the pillow while she was at it. She wrenched open all the drawers to her bedside table, even checking the pockets to her school uniform.

In the back of her mind she knew they wouldn't be in the dormitory – she had definantly left them in her coat pocket. Then where are they? She asked herself in frustration. Then, it hit her like a punch to the gut. James.

Sigh, James.