:: Chapter Four ::
Downfall of Love
Hidden Secretes

WARNING! There is sexual hinting in this chapter. I was going to write a lemon scene (but I'm terrible at them…^.^;) SO, if anything sexual bothers you, I suggest skipping the first paragraph. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
Oh, and about the career day thing, I lied. I finally came up with an actual plot to this story, and it kinda doesn't fit in with it. Sorry.
On with the fic…!
P.s. - T.L means Tiger Lily, it's James' nickname for Lily. I just…thought it up…and thought it was cute. Besides that, it fits her.

It was the day after Christmas, and the Gryffindor Common room was deserted. Only two people where still up, and it was probably a good thing.
"James…I don't know…"
"Come on T.L, please?"
Lily sighed heavily and pushed her boyfriend off of her. She wanted to, she really did…but…
"We're in the Common Room, anyone could just walk in on us! Maybe over the summer-"
"No one will walk in on us, it's almost two in the morning, everyone's asleep. Come on, I love you, what's the problem?"
What the problem is, Lily thought angrily, is you're entirely too eager for us just being together for a few months.
"Don't pull that on me James, this has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It's the simple fact that…well…it's indecent! Right out in the open! We aren't ANIMALS."
"I don't know about you baby, but I am." He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.
"In more ways that one might I add."
He leaned over and captured her lips with his. It wasn't a rough kiss, but it wasn't gentle either. It had such passion behind it that Lily lost her breath and had to pull away all too soon for James.
"Lily," he breathed heavily as he nuzzled her neck, "please. I need you."
Lily looked in his eyes and saw the raging passion in them, saw the need, the want. She saw the undying love, and found herself giving in. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled his lips to hers, smashing them together.
She whimpered softly as James leaned her back and flattened himself on top of her. His weight wasn't crushing; it was a pleasant pressure on her stomach that made her yurn of more.
She didn't know how James managed to get all their clothes off in such a short amount of time, but at the time didn't care. He was kissing her in places she hadn't been kissed before, touching her in places that made her go wild. She needed him inside her…NOW.
"James," she groaned and felt him shift position.
It hurt at first, but soon the burning subsided and pleasure flowed through her veins. She heard herself cry his name as she came, and fell back against the couch, totally spent.
He lay on top of her, burring his head in her chest. They where both covered in sweat, and she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I love you so much T.L." she heard James say, as she drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, she didn't know how, but a blanket had been thoughtfully thrown over them.

(A.N. - That wasn't TOO smutty was it?)

Three months later

"You ok Lily? You haven't touched your breakfast."
Remus poked her in the side and she snapped out of her daze.
"Huh?"
"Your breakfast, you haven't touched it. Don't you feel well?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't have much of an appetite this morning I guess."
She smiled weakly and went back to a daze.
James sat beside her, an arm around her waist, totally oblivious to his girlfriend's odd behavior.
"We're going to crème Ravenclaw, I haven't seen the team in such good shape since…well, ever."
Sirius nodded earnestly as he chewed he scrambled eggs.
Remus glared at the two of them.
"You guys…" no response, they where still talking about Quidditch, "hey, you guys," still no response, "YOU GUYS!" Remus yelled, making them jump.
"What Moony?" James asked, slightly annoyed. Sirius just raised an eyebrow.
"If you weren't so hung up talking JAMES, you'd notice that your girlfriend is sick."
"T.L? Love, are you sick?"
Lily sent Remus an angry glare and shook her head at James.
"No, I'm fine."
"I don't know, you look a little pale. Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey."
"NO!" she yelled surprising everyone, "I'm fine, REALLY. See?" she took a bite of her eggs and rubbed her stomach.
"Mmmm, good."
James laughed and kissed her on the forehead.
"Ok, if you're sure." He said and went back to talking to Sirius.
Lily elbowed Remus in the ribs and he choked on his juice.
"Next time I say I'm fine," she seethed, "DON'T drag James into it."
"I was just trying to help." He said, searching her face. She did look pale, and almost…afraid?
Remus chose not to comment on it in front of James. He'd wait…tell later.

James loved flying. He loved the wind in his hair, the fresh smell of the air…the Bludgers trying to give him a concussion.
"Yo Sirius! Do your bloody job!" James cried as another particularly bold Bludger flew at his head.
"So sorry," Sirius called as he raced passed James, his club raised high in the air.
It was Friday afternoon, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team was practicing for their game against Ravenclaw tomorrow. James was a Chaser, and Sirius, naturally, was a Beater. Which fit their personalities perfectly because James was lithe and had excellent aim, and Sirius…well, let's just leave it at that Sirius got a little too over eager sometimes.
Practice was going excellent, as always nowadays. Vivian Brown, the Keeper, kept blocking the majority of James' and the other two Keepers' shots. Sirius seemed to be in lala land at the moment, so most of the beating was left up to Steven Barker. Which was fine, because he was quite a good Beater himself. The Seeker was still in the hospital wing from the last match, but Madam Pomfrey assured them he would be able to play Saturday.
After sun down, Vivian called quits (she being the captain) and the team trekked back into the locker rooms to clean up.
"Hey James, is that Lily?"
Sirius pointed across the field to a figure that was running around the pitch. Even threw the semi darkness you could see her fiery red hair. Her face was flushed and she looked incredibly hot, but she kept running full tilt.
"She looks a little sick ya know? I think you might want to go tell to stop."
James nodded and jogged over toward her. She saw him and stopped, bending over her knees and panting. James leaned down so he could see threw her waterfall of hair, and smiled up at her.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Sky…birds…" she gasped, and James laughed at her.
"Yeah, yeah. You've been hanging out with us Marauders too much T.L. What happened to my wonderful Lily?"
"She-" Lily stopped and shook her head, "nothing. Sorry. I was just running to, er…I was getting fat." She finished lamely.
"Dear God girl there isn't any fat on your entire BODY, getting fat my ass."
"Not anywhere you've seen."
"Oh but I've seen every inch of your body T.L, unless there's some body part your detach when you're around me."
"You found me out, I'm a guy."
James starred at her for a minute, totally bewildered, but them he cracked a wide smile.
"You're too gorgeous." He said, pulling her in for a kiss, but she pushed herself away.
"I'm all sweaty."
"So am I."
"Well then go take a shower! You smell." She cried, running back toward the castle.
"See you in the Common Room!" she called, and disappeared.
James watched her go. Was it just him, or was Lily avoiding his touch?


Lily loved showers.
At the end of a long day, she loved to just sit under a steady stream of water and let her troubles wash right down the drain. It was possibly the most relaxed you would ever see Lily, if you ever say her in shower that is. After the run that night, Lily felt that she had earned a particularly long shower, so after she got back to Gryffindor Tower, she went back to her dorm and gathered her pajamas and toiletries.
She was just getting good and comfortable on the bench that the girl's shower room provided when Moaning Myrtle decided she wanted to talk. Lily sighed and grabbed a towel to wrap around herself, and Myrtle made herself comfortable beside Lily.
"So?"
"So what?" Lily snapped, a little irritated. She liked Myrtle most of the time, but she really didn't feel like talking to her right then. She had too much on her mind.
"So has that Potter boy dumped you yet?"
"Why do you ask? Is it because you don't feel like being lonely alone?"
Myrtle's eyes watered and she hopped up from where she sat, scratching at her ghostly pimples.
"I was just curious! Everyone just thinks they can yell at me because I'm dead. 'Oh look, there's Myrtle. I'm in a bad mood, so I'm going to go yell at her because she's DEAD so she obviously has NO feelings.'"
Lily sighed and apologized.
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not in the best of moods right now and I kind of want to be alone ok? I'm really sorry."
"Sure you are." Myrtle snorted, and sank threw the floor. Lily just shook her head and sighed again. She ran a hand over the slight bulge that was in her stomach. Her eyes watered.
"He's going to hate me for sure. We're all alone."
And with that, she broke down and cried. Showers might do wonders to daily problems, but it can't wash away a broken heart.

Remus shoved Sirius away when he appeared in the common room, his usual jolly self.
"What's wrong love?" he asked.
"If I tell you something, do you promise to not tell James?"
"Why can't I tell James? Does it have something to do with Lily? Or Peter?"
"Just Lily."
"Well then I can't promise anything Moony. It kinda depends on the something."
Remus looked into the Common Room's fire for a long time. Lily didn't have to tell him she was pregnant, he could almost smell it somehow. Being a werewolf had its advantages, but when it came to something like this, he cursed it. Lily was like his sister, and he knew for a fact that she didn't want James to know. He knew what she was going to do. She was going to make a huge mistake. James may be immature a lot, but deep down he was the most mature person Remus knew. But this was Lily and James' problem, not his. As much as he loved them both, this was something that they had to work out on their own.
"Never mind Padfoot, it's not important. Now are you just going to stand there looking all cute or are you going to kiss me?"

Excitement ran through Hogwarts the next day. Everyone was anticipating the huge match between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, and it was the buzz when everyone walked into breakfast.
James and Sirius where right in the thick of it, and loving every minute of it. They both loved attention, and never failed to get the most out of it.
Remus sat beside Lily, ignoring his two friends and trying helplessly to get her to talk. She looked like a wilted flower that morning.
"Do you feel bad again?"
"No, I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess."
Remus made another stab at conversation.
"Have you told James yet?"
Lily nearly fell out of her chair in surprise.
"What? Are you talking about-"
"Come on Lily, I'm a werewolf. I can tell." He hissed under his breath.
Tears filled her eyes and she threw herself at Remus, burring her head in his shoulder. No one noticed as Remus helped her out of the hall. He sat her down on one of the stairs, and then seated himself beside her. She laid her head in his lap, and cried brokenly. Remus just stroked her hair comfortingly, and tried to console as best he could.
"He's going to hate me Remy-chan. I can't tell him…"
"He loves you Lily. You're not the only one at fault here, you know. He's half that baby. You can tell him, come on."
"No," she said firmly, "I don't want to ruin his life. He could be anything he wants, and me and a baby would just tie him down."
"He still can be don't you see? Having a baby isn't the end of the world Lils, it's the beginning."
They lapsed into silence, Lily continued to cry, and Remus continued to stroke her hair, whispering things to her to comfort her.
"I'll always be here if you need me Lily." He said, and she sat up to hug him.
"What would I do without you?" she asked. He raised a hand to wipe away her tears, and cradled her face in his hands.
"Same thing I would do without you, be miserable."
She kissed his cheek, and hugged him again.

"…and it's Potter to Baggs, Baggs to Clark, SCORE! Seventy to ten Gryffindor!"
James did a victory lap around the pitch, admit hoarse cries of victory from the crimson and gold end of the field. Sirius gave James a hive five as he flew by, hot on the trail of a rouge Bludger. Sarah Baggs and Jamie Clark where the other two Chasers and the Keeper was Jordan Higgins, and James sent them all one of his biggest smiles.
"We are kicking ass and taking names!" Jamie yelled happily.
"Hey Higgins! Keep your eye out for the Goddamn snitch!" called Vivian, who blocked yet another Quaffle from the opposing team.
James smirked, Vivian had a mouth almost as bad as a sailor, and she was a girl. Sirius had better language then her.
The game picked up to a blinding speed and the crowd below could hardly make out the plays and counter plays.
It ended when Jordan caught the snitch, and the Gryffindor team embraced him in a huge group hug.
"We just have to beat Hufflepuff and then Slytherin and we have the cup!" Jamie exclaimed. She had a knack for stating the obvious.
After Sirius and James bade everyone good bye and congratulations, they went off to look for Remus and Lily. They where in such a good mood, that they had to find their lovers to celebrate.
When they found them however, James wished he hadn't.
Remus was sitting outside of the hospital wing, and his face was tear stained.
"It's Lily," he gasped as Sirius gave him a hug, "she collapsed during the match. She went so cold and rigid. Gods, I hope she's alright…"he broke down and sobbed, and Sirius clutched him close.
James just sat down heavily on the floor beside the door, and drew his knees up to his chin.
Not Lily, he thought, anything but Lily.

OKAY, I got a plot down, YAY! *waves a little victory flag* Odds are, if I get around to finishing this, that it'll be pretty long, I'm expecting some 20 chapters, so…yay. *^_____^*
This isn't anything like the other three chapters is it? It got all dark and depressing (somewhat) suddenly ne? I just hope it's good ya know? This is my longest chapter yet! *proud of herself*
Please Review! Please please please please please please (ect…) review.
Thanks!

Owari
~Ember
*proud member of the great name club…lol*

THANK YOUS!!!!!!

Star Fish - It's strange because I'm strange…and thank you!

Riauna - Glad you like. ^.^V

WhammyBar - Thanks!!!!! I'm SO glad someone likes it! BTW, I love the nickname…

IceIceBaby - I'm happy it's good, but I can't stand TyPiNg LiKe ThIs. ^.^;;;

Ember - *hands her a virtual cookie* I love you, I really really do. You are so NICE! Sirius glomps for you!