Chapter 4-Secrets

There are no secrets that time does not reveal-Jean Racine

Phoebe:

My eyelids feel heavy but I force them open with great effort, taking in the deep sea blue of dad's wall. I am smothered between layers upon layers of blankets, every cushion, comforter, and blanket imaginable was piled around me, keeping me safe and warm under their fluffy softness. Did dad build a fortress around me? I look besides me and see Dad propped up on his elbow, dark circles collecting underneath his eyes. Guilt stab me; it's all my fault he didn't sleep last night.

Dad gives me a half smile but his eyes don't crinkle. "Hey…" he whispers.

"Hey…" I whisper back, wincing slightly when I sit up.

Dad helps me lean up against the pillow and I mutter a thank you, avoiding his gaze.

"What time is it?" I ask, trying to ignore the fact that it's probably almost noon. Doesn't dad need to run his empire?

"It's barely 11." Dad answers, offering another small smile. My mind immediately goes to school but I guess I can always make that stuff up.

I hear a light knock on the door and coward into the blankets, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Relax." Dad says and strokes my hair. The door cracks open and I see Gail's cinnamon brown eyes come into sight, her grey bun slightly askew.

I try to muster a small smile at her but Gail has her arms thrown around me before I can say anything else. I internally hiss because she accidently pressed against my welts. Gail was always a tight hugger.

"Oh, my poor Phoebe." She mumbles, sweaty hands stroking my face.

"Gail. I'm ok." I assure her but swallow when both Dad and Gail shoot me a disbelieving look.

"I'm sorry." I whisper again, not knowing what else to say. I know I have hurt many people.

"Nonsense dear. We're just glad you ok." she hushes and hugs me again.

As I was still engulfed in Gail's warm bosom, Taylor comes in, his black eyes have a new softness to them as he regards me.

"Hi Tay." I try the lighter approach, using the nick name I came up for him when I was just a tiny, little girl but smartly shut my mouth when he casts me a stern glare.

"Phoebe, what were you thinking?" he questions, coming to my side. His midnight black orbs seem to pierce straight through my soul and I look away. I could never explain my reasoning to Taylor, it will break his heart. Even though Taylor always took the tough love approach, he was the biggest softie I ever knew.

Dad nudges Taylor and he takes the clue, shaking his head. "I don't expect you to tell me, but you better believe that I am appointing you a new body guard no matter what tantrum you throw this time, do I make myself clear?" he demands, black eyes turning serious.

"Crystal." I respond, giving him my famous cheeky smile and he can't stop his lips from twitching up as he leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. Why is everyone kissing and hugging me? "Try to get some more rest but I'm sure your dad here is seeing to that." He says and dad nods, also smiling.

"Taylor, why don't you take the weekend off with Gail. I should spend some time with Phoebe by myself." Dad says and my stomach churns.

"Very well, sir." Taylor nods and leaves, but not before giving my shoulder another squeeze.

"How are you feeling?" Dad asks, his brows knitted together as he studies me.

"Better, that cream really helped." I say, feeling myself slightly blush.

"I'm glad." Dad replies but then swallows, "Phoebe, we will eventually have to talk about a lot of things. Uncomfortable things." He says, strong hands rubbing my shoulder.

I look down at my own fingers tugging at dad's sweatshirt I still have on. "I know." I say quietly.

"But let's not worry about that first. You need to eat." Dad says and gets up to leave, he reappears several seconds later with a steaming bowl of mac and cheese. My stomach growls.

"Eat." Dad commands, his voice a little bit gruffer. I gulp and obediently shove the food into my mouth, enjoying the taste of the salty cheese melt on my tongue. I don't know why dad's letting me have mac and cheese. He's like the biggest health freak. I must have accidentally voiced my thought out loud because dad lets a lazy smirk grace his lips. "Comfort food's the best." He answers and I smile really big which causes him to smile too.

We finish our meal in silence and dad puts away the tray as he takes both of my hands in his, his thumbs rub small circles on my knuckles as he looks me straight in the eye, grey ambers piecing through all of my carefully constructed lies.

"Phoebe, I know this is hard but why, why did you allow that fucker to abuse you. I didn't know what you were doing at first, but I saw you walk into that dungeon with my own two eyes. Sweet pea, why?" Dad asks, his voice sounds pained and tortured.

"I…I…" I stutter, "it's usually not that bad…" was the best response I could come up with. Dad snorts.

"Don't bullshit me, Phoebe. Some of those cane welts on you were from a week ago." Dad states, his crinkling grey eyes devoid of their usual emotion.

Tears well in my eyes and Dad sighs, scooting closer to me. "Phoebe, I didn't mean to snap, but you need to tell me, whatever your reasoning."

I sniffle. "You know the picture hanging on the wall of me and grandma's family in Ohio?" I ask and dad nods, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yes, it's quite a large picture, why?"

"Can you bring it down for me, please?" I ask, knowing it's easier if I just show him the other pictures and contract hidden within that wooden frame.

Christian:

I take down the picture from Phoebe's wall. My daughter is smiling radiantly in the picture and Elliot has his arm slung around her with Mia on his back. Grace and Carrick are standing in the background, Grace has a motherly smile spread across her lips and Carrick is making a grimacing face at the camera. I shake my head at the picture, I wish mother didn't live in fucking Ohio, they would've been better for Phoebe. I carefully carry the picture down to my room. Phoebe is still sitting on my bed, her knees curled up and she's peering out of my window, her expression unreadable. I have no idea what the deal is with this picture but I push it to the back of my mind as I gently set it down by Phoebe's side and wait for her reaction.

Phoebe glances at the picture, her eyes turning a slightly deeper shade of grey as a certain sadness fills them. She picks up the large frame and I watch her delicate, long fingers as they carefully unscrew the back of the wooden oak frame. The happy picture falls out the moment the frame comes off but so does a white, crisp envelope.

Phoebe avoids my gaze as she quietly hands me the envelope, I catch the slight shake in her small hands and my stomach twists as I feel sweat break across my forehead. I turn the envelope around a few times, weighing what seems to be a couple pieces of flimsy paper. I take a deep breath and steal myself the courage before unfastening the seal and pouring out the contents. Phoebe looks away.

I could have never prepared myself for what was in that white envelope. In it were pictures. Of me. I was fucking and beating various subs. I gasp at the picture of Leila. I am standing behind her, my jaw's locked tight and in my one hand was a cat of nine tails as my other hand held her in position, Leila's back was covered with red slashes. For the first time, I see myself clearly as the monster I am. My brain stops functioning but my hands continue to flip through every picture. I can't remember all of their names but I was an ugly beast with all of them. There were a good few dozens of pictures consisting of every implement imaginable. I stop when I get to the last picture, it's of me, but this time, I'm the submissive, my back is black and blue and I am bounded to an identical black cross like Phoebe was last night. This one is from Elena's dungeon although you can't see her holding the cane. And buried under all of the pictures was a contract my baby girl signed, her name's printed neatly across the bottom line. It's almost a duplicate of mine, but there were no hard or soft limits outlined in hers.

"Phoebe...I…I…" I don't know what to say, no wonder Phoebe has been scared of me. Who wouldn't be? It's a miracle she didn't flee home.

Phoebe sniffles and wipes her tears with the back of her hands. My own hands itch to help her but now that she knows the true me, I don't think she wants my help. I sure wouldn't.

"Jack…jack..." Phoebe's crying gets harder, I sit there, unable to do anything. "Jack…blackmailed…mailed…me…he…he said if…I…I didn't…be…be his…submissive…he...would…leak…leak the pictures…" Phoebe cries and I freeze. My baby was blackmailed into being a submissive.

"Phoebe…" I say, gently pulling her into a soft hug, settling her down on my lap. I am at a lost for word, my tongue is frozen in place as I feel my own body shut down on me. How could I possibly let this happen? How could this fucker Jack possibly get those pictures? Phoebe's still crying, her breathing is so harsh that I am afraid she'll start to hyperventilate. "I…I…didn't want…to." She sobs into my chest and I tighten my hold.

"sshhh…I know you didn't want to." I tell her, rocking back and forth in hopes to help calm her down but nothing works.

"Phoebe, breath, baby breath." I instruct when she chokes several more times on her own sobs but she doesn't listen to me as her slight shoulders continue to shake and she speaks in half formed sentences. "I…but…but…GEH…and…your...work…and…India… Daddy, you must believe me…I…I… didn't want to, please don't hit…hit…or punish me…please…" My pathetic excuse of a heart breaks at her last request.

Christ. She thinks I'd be mad at her. I mean, I am disappointed and hurt that she didn't come to me with this information and what she agreed to do was beyond stupid but ultimately, she did it out of selflessness. For me and I didn't even know she knew about the India hunger project I was working on. How could I possibly be mad at that?

"Phoebe, I will never hit you, never. You have my solemn promise on that." I promise my daughter, stroking her copper hair and finishing my promise with a quick kiss to her forehead.

She curls herself up and continues to rid herself of all her pent up tears. After her crying finally subsided into tiny little hiccups, I scoop her up and gently lay her back down on my bed.

"Try to get a little bit more sleep, ok, sweet pea? Dr. Green is coming in five hours." I say and help her wipe away the last of her salty tracks.

"Dad?" Phoebe asks just before I draw the drapes shut.

"Yes?" I keep my voice gentle.

Phoebe looks down and asks in a voice barely above a whisper. "Did all of them consent?" her voice trails off as I crack a sad smile.

"Yes, sweet pea, they did." I answer and see Phoebe visibly relax.

"Good." She mutters, already drifting asleep and I close the curtains before kissing her head one last time.

a/n-Thank you soooooooo much for everyone who reviewed this story, some of the reviews nearly made me cry they were so touching and I'm glad you guys seem to be liking the story so far. Ana will start to be slowly introduced at the end of next chapter and she will be fully back in the story within 2-4 more chapters. What did you think of this chapter? It gave me a really hard time with all the dialect and I kept on editing it.