I have died everyday waiting for you
Chapter 3:
Running in wolf form wasn't like running on two legs. To be completely honest, I felt like a total badass. Of course, that feeling ended the moment I hit the confines of my backyard. I felt a cool nose bump my shoulder and then Jared's thoughts hit my mind: "Emb, you can handle this, just go in and-"
"-take no fucking prisoners!"
"Brady, shut your mouth." Jared ordered, snarling. The smaller gray brown wolf heaved a sigh and looked pointedly at the ground. "Just because Sam isn't here doesn't mean you can dick around."
Whatever Brady was coughing out in his defense, I didn't hear because my four legs were quickly changing back to two. In a matter of seconds I was standing before both of my brothers, stark naked. I was thankful when both Jared and Brady kept their eyes cast obviously downward.
"I got this." I tried to assure them both. I cracked my knuckles and let my eyes roam over my backyard. I didn't turn around as I heard them slowly make their exit. After double checking that no one was around, I darted as fast as I dared out of the woods to my backdoor- and, unfortunately, that was as far as I got.
"Shit!" I breathed out, jiggling the handle in my huge hand. It was definitely locked.
The way I saw it, I had two options. I could either ring the bell and let my mother see me like this, only to be verbally attacked about were I've been for the last ten or so hours and why I was coming home without a single piece of clothing on me, or I could bust the door down and hope I could fix the damage before she noticed and keep a shred of my dignity.
I picked the more solid route- literally. I put my hand against the door, folding it into a fist. Rationally, with my new wolf super genes, I knew it wouldn't hurt, but I had seventeen years of experience telling me it would. Before I could re-think my choice, I charged my first forward, wincing slightly at the sound of cracking wood.
I peeked my right eye open cautiously and was pleased to see an Embry sized fist hole. I stuck my hand through the hole and reached down, feeling for the lock. A moment later the door swung open and I was inside.
As soon as I closed the door behind me, the kitchen light flew on. I looked up like a deer caught in headlights, or rather, like a wolf caught in a trap. My mother got up unsteadily from her stool seat. The half empty bottle of wine she clutched strongly showed why. A moment too late, I realized I was still naked. I covered myself quickly, my face red with humiliation.
"And here I thought you gave a shit." My mother scoffed down at me. "I don't know what to think anymore Embry Call!" I didn't say anything, fixing my eyes on the wall behind her. I resisted the urge to swallow. She took a long swig of the wine.
"How will I know if you'll even come home next time! You're out doing god knows what, busting holes through my house! I won't have it anymore!" She took another swig. I noticed a fly land on the wall I had yet to look away from. I jumped slightly when she started screaming, waving the near empty bottle around like a weapon.
"I won't! You need to grow up, Embry Call! The sacrifices I make for you, only to have you knock them back in my face!" Her voice ripped with the strain of the words she threw at me. Her breaths came in harsh gasps and I finally took the courage to look her in the face. My hands were barely trembling and I took a moment to acknowledge the accomplishment. I prided myself on the impeccable control I had mastered.
I held her gaze and my mother's mouth turned down. "I've made an appointment with a therapist and you will go. You'll go or so help me god I'll hunt you down. My heart can't take it anymore, Embry. Every night you come home later and later, always exhausted. You've backed me into a corner and I don't know what to do."
I sighed softly, too soft for her to hear, at the confession. I wanted to tell her what was going on, but it just wasn't safe. She wouldn't believe me, or worse, she would. I saw what knowing did to Harry and what it was doing to Sue. I didn't think it was fair that she should have to be dragged into this, too, just because she made a mistake nearly eighteen years ago that resulted in…well, me.
My mother shook her head at me and walked drunkenly past me and up the stairs. About halfway up she called over her shoulder, "And next time, come home wearing some damned clothes. I'm too young to be a grandmother."
XOXO
ಠ_ʘ
XOXO
The therapy meeting turned out to be a complete joke. My mother had conveniently forgotten she had work that day and couldn't drive me around her schedule. It wasn't a big deal; I could have phased in an instant and been to the brick Fork's building in two. The big deal was, however, the fact that my mother had no idea I could do those things. When she was deliberating on who to call, I volunteered to ask Jared. We made a bet a week ago on a football game, which I had won. I'd yet to collect my winnings and figured this would stand in place of it.
Only after calling two of her friends and a taxi service did she agree. Both friends were working and the taxi rates were too expensive. "Fine." She had at last conceited, "Call your damn friend." And that's how I ended up here- sitting in a stifling room with no ventilation while some crackpot therapist watches the minutes click by like dollar signs. I had thought of tricking my mother and not coming, but I figured after all the shit I've given her these past months, I may as well show that I was trying. Even though this therapy meeting wouldn't change shit.
Thankfully, our time was almost over.
"Well, Embry, it's been a pleasure." Dr. Owens, a graying fatherly type, stuck his hand out and grasped mine in a firm handshake. "You seem like a good kid, Sport." I tried not to cringe at the nickname. "Maybe just someone who got caught up in the wrong crowd? Friends who are pressuring you…?" I know he's fishing for more information. Too bad he's doing a terrible job of it.
Some part of me thinks that he just wants to walk away with something from this. An hour and fifteen minutes and he still only knew my name and the bare minimal of my situation- most of which he had gleaned from my mother. Dr. Owens and I had gotten off on the wrong foot from the start of this session, when he first started spewing shit at me about how every young man goes through these things- how he, himself, went through the same situations.
I highly doubted that. But still, I could see he really did want to help me. It wasn't his fault he was only human.
I decided to throw him a bone, figuratively speaking, of course. I scrunched up my face like I was in deep thought. "Actually, yeah… I guess some of the guys have been a little tougher on me than normal."
Dr. Owens burst out a smile. "That's great you realize it, Embry." He clasped my shoulder and guided me to the door. "I want you to think about who some of these friends may be and why they're pressuring you, ok? Next week we're going to work on saying No." I raised my eyes at his sudden change in voice.
"Startling, isn't it?"
"Is what?" I asked stupidly.
Dr. Owens winked at me, like he was giving me some life changing secret. "The power of the No." He did it again- making his voice deeper and frowning slightly, putting more force behind the word. He opened the door and gave me a slight push out the room and into the waiting area. "I'll see you next week, Sport." Dr. Owens scanned the chairs and his face sank when his eyes landed on a smallish girl sitting on the floor, wrapped in a heavy gray sweatshirt, with her back pressed against the wall.
"Holly?" He spoke to her, "I'll be with you in a minute."
The girl looked up and I realized that she was older than I assumed she was- almost my age, even. "My mother cursed at me again." She said seriously.
Dr. Owens shifted his weight nervously behind me. "Alright, we'll talk through that. Please use a chair when you're in this office, hmm?"
The girl looked up at him with such reproach I had to bite a knuckle to hold in the sudden laugh bubbling up my gut. "You can't fall off the floor, Dr. Owens."
I got the feeling Dr. Owens was no longer amused. I took a seat over to the left, away from them both, and tried to focus my attention on other things. With my wolf hearing, it was hard. Especially when Dr. Owens refused to let the girl just sit there.
From the corner of my eye, I watched as he crouched down in front of her and place a hand on each of her shoulders. "The floor is for what, Holly?" She didn't respond. Frustration flowed off the therapist so thick, it coated the room. His hands gripped her shoulders harder and a noise escaped from the girl. "Floors are for what, Holly?"
She mumbled something even I couldn't hear.
"Stop. Use your words!" Dr. Owens told her loudly, all up in her face. I clenched my fists together to mask the obvious trembling.
"Animals." She whispered. Shock registered on my face for a split second.
"Good girl." Dr. Owens said as he released his grip, seemingly satisfied with her answer. When he swept some hair out of her face, his hands resting on her neck for a moment too long, I let out a low growl and curled my toes. His actions were creeping me out, and if they were doing that to me where I sat, yards away, I could only imagine what the poor girl was feeling.
"Sit on the chair." He ordered. This time she obeyed. Her eyes stayed firmly shut. My stomach clenched.
Dr. Owens retreated back into his office, closing the door more firmly than necessary.
The receptionist, a large woman with curly red hair, from across the room called me over. I got up slowly, making sure not to look at the girl. I didn't want to cause her any more embarrassment.
"Embry Call, Embry Call." The woman muttered to herself and typed a few secretive things into what I guessed was my online file. "How's the 13th? Of June?" I shrugged at her blankly. From outside the tiny window behind her, I saw Jared pull Jake's beat up truck into the lot. Kim was riding shotgun.
"Alright, Mr. Call. We will see you on June 13th, that's a Wednesday. Now don't forget- write it down and I'll call your mother will payment plans sometime tomorrow." The woman dismissed me easily, but that last part nagged at my insides.
"How much is this costing?" Expensive, I was sure. More than a taxi fare, which we couldn't pay.
She smiled up sweetly at me. "That depends on Dr. Owens' analysis after the first meeting-which you just had." I could tell I wasn't going to get a straight answer out of her. Most likely because the good old Doc would want to go up higher than any number I was prepared to accept. He'd try to wear my mother out over the phone later, I was sure.
"Goodbye now, Mr. Call."
I didn't bother responding. I stuffed my appointment reminder into my pocket and headed towards the door. I turned back to close the door behind me just in time to watch the girl throw herself out of the chair headfirst and land in a puddle on the floor, her eyes now open. She laid in the heap and didn't move while I stared down at her, aghast, and was met by a punch to the gut when I looked directly into her green eyes.
She looked miserable. Dr. Owens rushed out of his office, slowing down considerably when he saw I was still there. "Embry, have a safe journey home and remember: No." He waved goodbye halfheartedly and motioned the receptionist to join him by the girl. Together I watched as both of them helped her back into the chair.
Not knowing what else to do, I let the door close, creating a wall between me and them. I smiled horribly to myself, realizing the irony. There would always be a wall between me and other people- humans. All my old friends, my mother, fuck, the girl inside. They were all human and I wasn't.
If Dr. Owens had dropped any pearls of wisdom on me today, it was no match for the physical evidence of that door shutting quietly in my face and me, helpless to stop it.
Author's Note: Hi! The next chapter will 100% be rated "M". I would love it if you all submitted a quick review, even if it's just one word. I feel like this story isn't following the normal Twilight fanfiction recipe and I just want to make sure I'm not messing up completely. Thank you! xx