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A/N: Yeah, I know, I haven't updated in literally FOREVER! Sorry, RL stinks, I know. I've been writing a play for school, and have had loads of homework, and have been nursing other people's plot bunnies… it's been a full time job. But I'm back. And hopefully this will help my own plot bunnies recover, and my updates will be more often… if RL allows it… among other things, I also have band, which I love and will never give up…. Drat. The A/N will be longer than the story. Better get writing…
Disclaimer: Own nothing, everything belongs to C.S. Lewis and his estate…
Chapter Four
Edmund hadn't really wanted to leave his brother's side, hadn't wanted to leave him, in his time of need, but Susan had insisted upon it, insisted that there was nothing more they could do until he woke up… It still hurt him, though.
He knew that his brother had stuck by his side, even when he was under the White Witch's spell. He couldn't help feeling that he was abandoning Peter, couldn't help feeling that he was a traitor again. Nonetheless, Edmund had done what Susan had said, had left Peter, had locked the door so he couldn't get out, couldn't do further damage to himself or others, and gone to bed. Or, at least, tried.
He hadn't been able to sleep for the longest time. He had spent much of the night, tossing and turning, not able to sleep. He felt sick to his stomach, like he knew something was going to happen, like he knew that the locked door was going to stop nothing…
Once he had finally fallen asleep, he dreamt of nothing. It was not that he didn't dream, it was that he dreamt of Peter's eyes. While they once had been alert, happy, concerned, sad, showing various emotions, proving his brother to be human, they were now empty, devoid of any implication that Peter held the ability to think. It was as if Peter's soul had been sucked from his body, a thought that sickened Edmund. For if Peter's soul was lost, then so was Edmund, and Susan, and Lucy, and all of Narnia. If Peter's soul was lost, then so was everyone around him. If Peter's soul was lost, so was Peter.
In the past few weeks, Edmund had noticed a dulling of Peter's eyes, and his older brother had never held eye contact for long, as if he knew what was happening to him, and he was too ashamed to show it to his brother, too ashamed to admit he was weak. Now, he had never gazed into Edmund's eyes, not like before, when he was almost playfully challenging the younger boy to do something, to act. He hadn't looked truly back at Edmund in a long time.
But in Edmund's dream, Peter stared back dully, as if he had no idea what was in front of him. The elder boy's eyes were blank, not really connecting, not understanding, blind. Blind to everything around him, blind to the people around him, blind to emotion, light, sound, life.
Then, suddenly, a change came into Peter's eyes. The dullness quickly faded, to be replaced by anger. Sudden, blinding anger. Edmund unwillingly gasped, recognizing the same anger he had seen when Peter had beaten him. The violent anger, directed at no one, everyone, himself. The anger egged on by confusion and the lack of ability to understand, the lack of ability to control, the lack of ability to be human. But instead of acting, Peter stood still. Edmund watched as his brother gathered the anger up, tried to react, to defend himself, to attack, to find something to strike, something to vent, to release.
But some strange force was holding him back; something was gripping him tightly, preventing him from doing anything. Edmund watched in horror as Peter tried his hardest to release it, tried to get rid of it. But he couldn't even open his mouth to scream, couldn't raise his fists to hit anything, couldn't do cry. Nothing came from his body, his mouth, nothing. No reaction. The only things different were the veins sticking out on Peter's neck, the only sign of the amazing amount of strain the boy was going through, the only sign of a struggle.
Peter strained, trying to crane his neck, to release himself. But nothing happened. Nothing. Here was Peter, a man of action, unable to move, to even speak, to even express his emotions. And then it happened.
The only thing Edmund could to was watch as his brother wilted, fell to the ground with a thump, collapsed. A roar filled the younger boy's throat as the horrible truth came upon him, the terrible, terrible truth. Peter was dead.
Edmund awoke with a scream. There was a horrible taste in his mouth, and his head spun. He tottered to the bathroom, where he vomited. It had been so real, so tangible, so conceivable, so easy to grasp. Dead. His brother was dead. And yet, as the thumping of Edmund's heart slowed, he knew Peter wasn't dead. But there was something else. He sat wearily on his bed, trying to figure it out.
It came upon him as Susan barged into the room, tears streaming down her face. He said what she was about to tell him before she even opened her mouth.
"He's gone."
Peter crawled along the ground. His injuries had forced him down again, something he didn't enjoy. The adrenaline that had fueled him earlier was fading, and he began feeling exhausted. But he had to keep going, had to get away from them, to protect them, to protect him.
He crawled until he could go no further. He finally collapsed, one cheek to the ground, the other facing the sky. He was pounding in pain, vibrating in discomfort. He trembled, then clenched his teeth, reprimanded himself for showing weakness, showing emotion. If there was one thing she had helped him learn, it was that emotion could betray you at any moment.
Peter barely felt anything as thick snowflakes began to fall, his eyelids fluttering in a losing battle against unconsciousness. He just felt so tired, so weak… he wanted to rest for a long, long, time. Peter's eyes closed for a last time. He would get that rest…
A/N: Pathetic cliffie, I know, sorry. I hate them myself, but oh well. This one was a tad bit longer than the rest of the chapters, and I just want to thank Muriel Candytuft, for the wonderful thing about me in her profile. May I keep you laughing and crying! Hopefully a new chappie will be coming soon. So, yeah… review!