"I love you" Part 1

Karin knew from the beginning that the feeling of love was not for her.

It was dedicated for delicate, romantic girls, who dream about Prince Charming. Who would come and take them away.

But she wasn't that type of girl.

She was strong, tomboy, hard-headed, fierce.

She preferred bloody horror from romantic comedy.

Her ideal date was the good soccer play instead of small dinner at restaurant.

She didn't do dresses.

She didn't do makeup (when questioned about fluid she asked what it was).

She loved sneakers and hated heals.

Her idea of making someone feel better was to engage them in fight (it was useful with guys).

She wasn't afraid of having some bruises in visible places.

In few words. She was nothing like Hinamori Momo.

Momo was gentle, delicate, feminine. She would cry over broken flower and do sweet, puppy eyes when she wanted something (the ability Karin still couldn't get right).

So, it wasn't that strange that Hitsugaya Tōshirō would go after a girl like her. They were ideal couple, as few of the girls in the Academy had been saying for some time now. Even before Karin caught them kissing. She didn't mean to, really. She was just going to ask Tōshirō if he had some free time to go play with her or something.

Karin knew she was stupid. Naïve and crazy. Why did she even think that there could be something between her and Tōshirō? They were only friends. She knew it. Well, he'd never really said it, but she thought that after few years of knowing each other, talking with each other and spending time together she could consider herself as his friend.

He was the one who helped Karin found herself in the Soul Society after she died. Seeing as she was already Shinigami before this damn Hollow killed her, he took her into Seiretei by Senkaimon. He allowed her to live in his house until she entered the Academy. He helped her with the things she didn't understand and her shikai was reached in front of him.

She knew that she loved him. It happened soon after she stationed herself in his house. And Karin knew she would not be able to love someone else. That was a thing with Kurosakis. They were like wolves. Once they fall in love, it's over for them. That's how it was with Ichigo and her father.

But why she gave herself hope? It was the worst. She had listened to Matsumoto teasing and, unwillingly, took it seriously. She knew that it wasn't fault of the busty fukutaichō. Karin herself should have known better. That a guy like Tōshirō would never take a second look on a girl like, even if, it would be only as a friend.

But even when she knew it… why it still hurt so much? It was almost as if she felt physical pain.

For that moment, she just wanted to sit alone there, without anyone. Suddenly, she felt something wet on her cheek. Surprised, she raised a hand to her face, clearing it from tears. She smiled sadly.

She hadn't been crying since her mother's funeral. It was something she promised herself to not do ever again.

And yet, here she was, crying over some guy who unknowingly broke her heart.

'Not some guy' she corrected herself. Tōshirō would hardly be called that, after all he had done for her to help.

She hide her face in her knees, hugging them tightly to her chest. She was glad that she had found this place some time ago. Noone knew about it, maybe except from the white-haired captain, but the chances that he would come there now were close to zero. She closed her eyes, allowing herself for a moment of weakness.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō was sitting in his office, fumming with anger. Not only some previous events made him furious, but also his fukutaichō decided to take a break (again!) from her paperwork. And it all had to be done soon or the sōtaichō would have their heads.

But to his great surprise, Matsumoto went into his office, humming to herself. Hitsugaya raised his brow looking at her. Seeing what time it was, he would assume that she was already tipsy in some bar with Hisagi and Abarai.

"Matsumoto, where were you?" he asked her coldly. Since se was already in the office, there was no way in hell that he would let her off from doing paperwork.

The redhead raised her head at his voice, looking at him for a moment surprised.

"Oh, taichō, you are here!" she said, big goofy smile on her face. If she thought that she was going to get away with it, she was sooo wrong.

"And where would I be?" Tōshirō asked her, her eyes boring into his lazy fukutaichō.

Matsumoto blinked on him.

"Well, I just met Karin-chan some time ago and she said that she was going to ask you to go somewhere, since she was bored." she explained, titling her head on one side. "So I thought that you are with her somewhere, taichō."

"As you can see, I'm not." he answered, furrowing his brows slightly. Strange, Karin didn't arrive to his office, from what he knew.

Matsumoto looked even more surprised at his answer.

"Did you two have a fight?" she asked with genuuine concern. She really liked Karin, after all she was the only person who could remove the stick from her captain ass.

"No, I haven't seen her today at all."

"Are? But I saw her right in front of our Division..."

Now that Hitsugaya thought about it, yesterday Karin had said something about having a break from learning for a test. At that time she woul always come to him so they could spent it together. There was not even once when she missed it.

But she hadn't been there, he would recognize her reiatsu as soon as she stepped in, after all, she had a little control over it. Furrowing his brows, he took a pen again to fill the paper in front if him.

"She came almost at the same time as Hinamori."

The pen stopped in midair. Hitsugaya looked on Matsumoto allerted.

"What did you say?" he asked, hoping that he had heard wrong.

"I mean, it was around five minutes after Hinamori went into your office." the redhead explained, looking on her captain. "Did Karin-chan caught you doing some dirty things, taichō~?" she sang jokingly, but the look on his face told her everything.

"Please, taichō, tell me she didn't."

Hitsugaya looked on the serious face of his fukutaichō. It was so strange to see her in that state, that it made him feel even worse. If Karin came at the time Matsumoto said she did, she had seen something she wasn't mean to. Hell, it wasn't even mean to happen at all!

Many things could be said about Tōshirō, but he definitely wasn't stupid. He knew that Karin felt something more that just friendship for him, even if she tried to hide it as much as she could. But he caught her watching him when she thought he wasn't looking; a sudden blush would appear on her cheeks in random situation. She started to be more aware of him, from what he had noticed. There were other things too.

"She... could see me and Momo kissing." he told to his fukutaichō, who was still watching him questioningly.

There was a moment of heavy silence. He knew that Matsumoto wasn't happy with him at the moment. Well, he wasn't either.

"How could you?" she only asked. But the voice she used made Hitsugaya cringe.

For a years they had fought side by side, he had never heard Matsumoto adressing him with so much... venom in her voice.

"It wasn't my fault!" he shouted, his anger ringing in his ear. It was adressed at himself. "It was... just... Momo suddenly confessed to me! Before I knew it, she was right in front of me and... and in the blink of eye, she was kissing me! Not I her! I was too shocked to react at first..." Hitsugaya admitted.

He didn't knew why he was telling her everything. It wasn't llike him. But now, the thought that Karin would be somewhere alone, hurt by what she had seen, made him feel the same pain.

Oh, he knew why. As it was said before, he wasn't stupid. Tōshirō knew that Karin was the only person who could make his cold heart feel warm and beat faster. For a longer time, he wanted to ignore it, hoping it would go away. But then, noticing the changes in her behaviour, he wanted, really, to confess to her. But waited for a good moment. And now he was experiencing how the waiting goes!

Matsumoto watched him for a moment. She saw how trouble he was. The pain in his eyes and the panic. After watching interaction between Hitsugaya and Karin for some years now, she knew what they both felt about each other. That's why she teased both of them more often than usually. She all the time hoped that either of them could finally confess.

"I will go and look for her." Hitsugaya stood up from his chair, taking Hyōrinmaru with him.

Matsumoto blinked on him, before jumping into action.

"No wait!" she shouted, stopping her taichō from moving from the office.

Hitsugaya turned to her with impatient look on his face. He was now as tall as she was.

'When did he grow up that much?' she thought to herself.

"I don't think that she wants to see you at the moment." she explained, her face still deadly serious. "If you know where she can be, I will come and look for her. It would be better if you give her some time. Until tommorow at least." she said, seeing the impatient gleant in his eyes.

Hitsugaya thought about it for a moment. His heart wanted to go search for Karin, to explain everything, but his mind knew that Matsumoto was right. Finally, he noded his head, giving her instructions how to find the place, where he susspected Karin was.

To be continued~