Chapter 4

Jane sat, rather dumbstruck, on Lisbon's sofa. That grin, the snarky-teasing comeback…hmm. He rose and headed down the hall after Lisbon.

"So, tell me more about this control you speak of…" Jane trailed off as he rounded the corner. Lisbon was ass-skyward, her short-shorts riding up as she put the clean towels under the bathroom sink. She closed the cabinet door and stood, turning to face him.

"Did you say something?" Lisbon took in his expression. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Something."

"No, honest, not a thing." Jane couldn't believe it, his face was heating up. He never blushed. He prided himself on remaining completely neutral via biofeedback that could tame anything from bone-searing rage to an erection of immense proportions. The latter of which he was dealing with for the second time in a couple of hours. Lisbon grinned at him, enjoying this turn of events.

"Jane, how long were you standing there?" she teased.

"I…um..that is…" Jane stammered, feeling his face heat up even more, Lisbon watching all the while. She stood where she was for a second longer, then crossed to stand in front of him. She was so petite, she had to tilt her face up to look him in the eye.

"Jane…"

"Patrick." Jane reminded her.

"Don't interrupt, Patrick. What happened to get you so hot and bothered, anyway." Lisbon held up her finger as he started to shake his head. "Nope. I want an honest answer. Walked in on me, didn't you?" He nodded.

"That's why all this? Geesh, Patrick, I'm dressed."

"I know."

"So, what is it, then? Remember, we're being honest."

Jane scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed. She was like a pit bull after a particularly juicy bone. "I've just never seen you in…that particular position before."

"So? Was it that bad to look at?"

"Bad?! No. Hell, no."

"So, good then? Right?" He nodded again. "Well, what's the problem? You think you can't enjoy looking at a woman simply because you happen to work together?"

"No, not that. It's just, well, I didn't know…I mean, I've never seen you dressed like that, and then, oh, just hell." Jane trailed off.

Lisbon laughed again, shooting for levity. "Patrick, we're not at work. You can look. I look at you, between you,me and the four walls. You're a great-looking guy."

"Thank you. You're not so bad, yourself."

"So, OK? Want to throw your laundry in and go watch another episode?"

Jane held up a hand. "Are they anything like that last one? Because I'm not sure I can stand any more stimulation today."

"I don't know. We can always stop it if it gets too hot."

"All right, then."

"Are we all good, Patrick?"

"Of course. Why would we not be?"

"You just seem ill at ease for some reason."

"Meh. I'm in your house, not used to seeing you in shorts and all, just a bit out of my element." Jane caught the slightly hurt look on Lisbon's face. "It's not you. You've been more than hospitable. You've been great. Thank you for being my friend when I needed it. This is just something I'm not used to. I haven't been close to anyone for a while."

"I know. Not since Lorelei."

"No. Lorelei was sex. Plain and simple. Just sex. Not even good sex. Just a physical release with no encumbrance or emotion. She was a means to an end. I felt nothing." Jane stopped again. "I can't believe I'm telling you this."

"Come on." Lisbon took his arm and led him back to the sofa, pushing him into the cushion and sitting next to him, facing him with her legs Indian-style. "OK, first, you can tell me anything. Second, no more embarrassment. Not with me. We've been through too much for that. Third, let me in. I know that's hard for you. But I'm here. I've seen you at your worst. I' didn't go anywhere. I stood by you even while you were with that bitch…oops." Lisbon blushed in her turn.

"Liked her that well, did you?"

"I hated her for what she did to you. I hated her for a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Just things." Jane shook his head.

"Honesty, remember. Both ways."

"OK." Lisbon took a deep breath. Bound for him to turn it on her. "I hated her for the simple fact that I was…I was jealous."

"Jealous?" She nodded. "Why?"

"Because even if it wasn't good or real, she had you in a way that I didn't. And I hated that. When Red John asked for my head in a box, and we staged that scene in my office, do you remember what you said right before you fired the gun?" Jane nodded.

"Love you."

"Yeah." Another deep breath, this one slightly shaky. "I'd have given anything to think you meant that." Jane's jaw fell open. Teresa shrugged. "You wanted honesty. There it is." She moved to stand. "Want anything to drink before we start the next one?"

Jane grabbed her by both arms, holding her down and forcing her to meet his gaze. "You hated her for being with me?" Lisbon nodded. Jane sighed. "That makes us even, then. I wanted to kill Mashburn for being with you. I meant it, Teresa. I meant it with all my heart."

And then he framed her face with his hands and claimed her mouth with his own before she knew what was happening.