RAIN Chapter 4: Little Hope, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter Four: Little Hope

"…and this is the constellation that the muggles refer to as 'Orion.' Pray tell why you need to know constellations for muggle studies?"

Alice Travers shrugged. "Sure as bloody hell beats me. They say that it's something that muggles generally know about—so that's why we're studying it."

"Your sister-in-law is muggle, isn't she? Doesn't she tell you about these things?"

"We hardly spend together. It's not a wonder since my brother is on the other side of the world, studying the moss species in the South Pole. Poor girl hates the cold to death; she was originally from Kent, you know."

Lily's eyebrows rose in wonder. "Oh my, how awful. My pity to her."

"Definitely. I can't even floo her or anything. Owls there are local. They even had to hop aboard a ferry to get there. She hates it there but that's what you do for love, I suppose."

Lily had her own very strong opinions about love, but she was hardly going to share them with someone she hardly knew. Alice Travers seemed to be very much in 'love' with some boy named Frank Longbottom. Hardly a fair match and Alice could do so much better than him. Then again, not everyone cared to be popular—even if it was a slight obsession with a school like this.

Sometimes Lily wondered herself how she managed to scale so high among purebloods. Everyone she knew that she regularly talked to was pureblood. Maybe they just don't know. One way or another, she never really hid the fact that she was muggleborn—it's hard to express your hatred for vacuums and not have anyone know about your heritage.

"I suppose. Well, anyway, this constellation is called Cygnus. My sister tells me that her idiot boyfriend has some sort of plans to propose to her under a starry night. I laughed and told her that that was hardly going to happen because there is always wretched overcast and on most nights the stars are hardly visible. Petunia is so very naïve."

"Petunia? Isn't she older than you? I thought she hated you because you're a witch and she's not."

Lily shrugged. "She wants to have some sort of tie with me now. Now, when, before she hardly wanted anything to do with me because I'm a witch. You see, her boyfriend has cousins that attend Durmstrang. One outing I was sitting with them and Petunia, Vernon not present, and they just started talking about their Potions class. Petunia caught on and was shocked to her utter core that she was not the only one related to something she had termed a freak. Quite shocking news to myself, actually. Been a royal pain in the neck since. That girl honestly has no wits about her."

"Dreadful. I can't believe people like that. One second we're freaks and lowlifes, the next we're like angels on earth. "

Nodding Lily sighed. "Ah… bless me; I've got a gossiping tongue today. Sorry for that, Travers. Anyway, this is Cassiopeia, and over here is Taurus, and that's Ursa Minor and Ursa Major—although their more commonly know as the little and big dipper. They look like spoons, you see," she added after seeing her confused look.

Alice nodded. "And that's all, isn't it? I mean, I've been told that not even all muggles know these things. It'll be odd if we know too much, don't you think?"

"Utterly, but no helping that, is there? That's what we're set to learn, whether we need or use it or not."

"Thanks, Evans, you've been a great help."

Lily smiled sweetly. "Any time, love."

As Alice packed up her star charts she started to leave, waving good bye. Lily waved back in return and sighed. Now she could finally get in some reading time. The rain was nice and she gleaned from any chance she could get to go out in it, but there was Quidditch practice going on and today she was in the mood for either her spot by the lake—so very visible to some players she realized—or not. It would not do to simply walk around in the rain today.

"Lily Evans… love of my life. What brings you to this very lonely part of school?"

Lily scoffed. "It is the library, Black, and the only reason you find it lonely is because you have no brain with which to keep the books company. Your presence here is quite shocking—and at the same time appalling."

"Wit as sharp as ever, I see. Like a butcher's knife, but dressed up as a rose and all other manner of pretty things. Do me the honour of accompanying this poor soul to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Furrowing her brow, she looked at him sadly. "As you are well aware, Black, I have no intention of doing anything harmful to my well being. Such a thing would not be very healthy, correct?"

"Naturally," he responded with, what seemed, all the goodwill of the world.

"Then I'm afraid just being so close to you is very debilitating to my health and well being. Shame that, isn't it? If you don't understand that, then let me put it this way: Go away you slimy, filthy piece of trash; I hope I never have to associate or speak or even contact you in any way shape or form ever again. I hope you have a wretched day," she said sweetly, as if she had just told him to have the opposite.

Getting up, she started to walk away, quite aware of the fact that he was following her. "But, Lily, think about how good for both of us it would be if you put your name beside Sirius Black."

"Merlin, that would be awful. What a nightmare; I hope that shall never happen. You're like the plague, Black, shall I never get rid of you?"

"Never ever," he said glibly, wagging his eyebrows.

"Hey, Sirius, leave her alone for a second. If I knew this was where you'd run off to I'd never have let you leave."

Looking around for her saviour, she saw James, walking up to them as if it was the most natural thing on the planet. The spark was back in his eyes and she wondered if it wasn't just because he was not staring at the rain. Maybe he was not immune to rain after all. Maybe she thought too highly of him because of that.

"Hello, James, how are you this fine evening? I'm sure you have some very important business to do with this filth that stands so very much beside me. Well, I truly wish I could stay, but I must be off. Urgent matters." It was said with such speed and alacrity of tongue that it was a wonder that her mouth did not resemble a gun so the bullets, like syllables, would fire much smoother.

"Fare thee well, Lily love," Sirius called out after her. As she walked away, she could hear Sirius somewhat complaining to James about how he ruined the moment—even though there was no moment to be had.

The first destination Lily made was to be out in the rain. The first step she took was muddy and splashy. The rain had been heavy for the last little while and was starting to let up. It would end some time this evening—as only a light drizzle now hit her head, soaking her hair to its roots.

Taking slow, measured steps to her favourite spot, she marvelled at how the plants had soaked up the rain and were now calling out desperately for the sun. The rain gave life, but it also gave death in some regards. When it did, that death was slow, painful and often humiliating—for the rain cared little for anything other than itself—it was selfish and selfless at the same time. Then again, there was really very little to stop it. Anyone who can honestly say they could must be God and no less.

Sitting down on the very wet grass, she looked up into the sky and saw it already beginning to clear up. It would be a fine morning after this and clear blue skies were predicted. However, it was a miracle it was still rain and not snow. Clouds in the far west could be seen from the astronomy tower, threatening to blanket the place in a thick layer of snow—snow like none have ever seen. The divinations teacher—who had a ninety percent accuracy for weather predictions and a sixty percent accuracy for all other predictions—had said that the storm would be here roughly nine days after the morning the rain stopped.

Sighing, Lily lay back on the grass and closed her eyes. This entire week had been utter hell. Sirius had, for some strange reason unknown to her, been trying to win her over harder than ever. Then again, when she thought about it, he had just been acting the same way he usually did about two months before Christmas break. Had some silly dream to be able to invite her over for the Holidays successfully. The key word being successful in that he was not in the least.

Working with James every Transfigurations class had told her many things about that mysterious boy. For instance, he was not as mysterious as before. Now, she held a semi-friendship with him when she was keen to realize he was not just doing this for her attentions. It hardly seemed likely that he would even try his hand. It was shame though, because his sweetness and charm certainly would've gotten far enough for her to be on at least reasonable terms with him even if he was.

"What a mystery… everything there is to know and I hardly know anything… shame, shame, shame."

"What's a shame?"

Lily snapped her eyes open to see James hovering over her—as he was wont to do when he found her out in the rain. Sitting up, she sighed. "That I hardly know anything about you," she said honestly.

James sat down next to her. The last few times, he had brought an umbrella. Lily abruptly had remembered things that needed her attention and prematurely left the rain to go finish them. This time, he brought none—which meant that he was, at least, learning something about her even if she still knew nothing about this mystery sitting beside her a comfortable distance away.

"What would you like to know?" he asked laughing, as if it was really very ridiculous to him that someone like her would want to know about him. "I've nothing to hide."

Quirking an eyebrow, she smirked. "Really? I can ask you anything at all? Well, any crushes? Anything that makes your blood rush to speeds that make your head swim?"

"Quidditch. Wait, I don't think that counts, does it?"

Lily laughed. It was well-placed humour. James only seemed to use it with her and she liked that about him. "No, James, it doesn't."

Frowning, he folded his legs and hunched over in thought. "Well, I can hardly think of any. How about you? Have you anything to hide, Lily Evans?"

"Now, what's a girl without secrets, hmm? I'm no scarlet woman but definitely a mystery."

"Which is an oxymoron in itself. Are you calling yourself an oxymoron or just a moron? Because if you are, it isn't true. You're the brightest bulb there is on a Christmas tree."

Laughing she sighed. It was a wonder how he made her laugh so easily. Then again, she had long ago chocked that up to the fact that he was James Potter and he was mysterious to her. She wondered—she hoped—that she was at least some sort of mystery to him. The alternative was so… unwanted that she didn't care to think about it.

Shaking her head in dismay as she got a hold of her ability to laugh, she sighed. "But really, James, do you think I'm mysterious; or at least questionable to most?"

"You, Lily Evans, are as mysterious as mud—but seemingly as shallow as water."

Drawing her brows together, wondering whether he had just insulted her or not, Lily frowned. "Shallow? You think I'm shallow?" she asked, slightly affronted.

Nodding, James smiled. "To certain degrees. For instance, when you're happy, you choose to show yourself happy. When you're in a crowd, everyone knows you're there because it's almost like you stand above a soapbox declaring your happiness to the world. You're ever so sweet and kind to others as well. I also occasionally see you tutoring others in the library…"

What rubbish. Lily was always alone in a crowd. Maybe James had learned nothing from her in these few times they were alone with each other—with only the rain to keep each other company at times.

"So, I'm shallow because I'm apparent? Well, it's not exactly a compliment, but it's not an insult either. One way or another, thanks for that."

If he meant it as she interpreted it, really, it meant that everyone else was shallow and so very obvious too. Why would you want to hide happiness? When you're happy, you show the world. Lily? Lily could hardly define herself as 'happy.' Satisfied and content perhaps, but never, not once in her entire life of nearly seventeen years, could she ever say she was happy. Lily Evans hardly deserved happiness in her own honest opinion.

Lily Evans, head girl, queen of despair, most unwanted, most unloved, and most definitely not shallow and happy.

"Well, anyway, back to my point, I was wondering if you could help me with Potions, seeing as how you're so proficient and loved by Slughorn."

Laughing, she shook her head. "I see your game now, James Potter. This was all a ruse to get me to tutor you in potions. All you had to do was ask. Sure, we can start this Friday. Professor Slughorn is a bloated idiot and probably drugged up on something muggle."

Smirking amusedly, he quirked an eyebrow. "Professors all have such high opinions of Lily Evans, but it seems that the same is not true the other way."

Lily shrugged. "They are all conceited. The little times I have seen of Dumbledore he has proven to be, at least, humble about what he really is. Professor Dumbledore has my highest opinions."

"A rare honour, indeed," he said laughingly. "Well, tutoring was all I wanted to ask for and I had a feeling I would find you out here, mucking about, to ask it. I'll leave you to your soothing rain, then. See you later, Lily," he said, getting up and walking away.

"'til next time, James," she said with a small wave of her hand.

When he was out of sight, she crossed her legs and closed her eyes.

She felt the rain come down upon her, drenching her in the cold despair she felt inside. However, it almost lacked effort in taking everything away. It was there, trying, but she could still feel that she had something. When she lay back and look up at the sky, she saw the overcast slightly starting to let up and she sighed.

Today the rain did not affect her like it usually did. Clearing her mind of anything unnecessary—allowing her to focus on her life; she found that her thoughts once again settled itself pondering over that mystery in her life. After a long while of realizing this, she gasped slightly.

The rain was affecting her like it usually did today.

James Potter was the one that affected her differently today.

That boy, that mystery in her life, he… he gave her something in the rain when even he himself had nothing in the rain. The rain was nothing and gave nothing, making you nothing. How could there be anything at all in that? It was so… so curious and so… unwanted that it made her want to think about it all the more and—

"It's none of my business and I hardly want to dwell upon it," she said finally. Getting up, she made her way from out of the rain. It would not rain again for weeks—and even then the rain would quickly turn to snow as December quickly approached.

To My Reviewers:

Lilybet Edyvean: Realize that, love, but imagine himself playing around with a Quaffle all his lonesome.

eternalhope08: I thought it was a bit repetitive too, but I want to give the audience an impression of what the rain is to Lily and why it fascinates her. My whole goal was to make her seem perfect in every way, for reasons of my own, to make the story work for the future. I understand she IS hard to relate to--I can't even relate to her. It's typical, it's annoying, it's absolutely and utterly unbelievable. But it's there, it's what she is at the moment. I wish I could say more on that, but I'd be spoiling too much. All I can really let on is that you'll find out in the future. You're a great help, love, thanks for that. I hope you keep reading and keep criticizing. Got to keep me on my toes, right?

Skye: Her full name is Alicia Rose, yes. :) I'm sorry if it's confusing, but people will constantly be referred back and forth like that.