A/N: I'd like all to know that I have no idea where the hell I'm going with this tale ^*^' I kind of make it up as I go along. Anyway, inspiration to write a fanfic like this by Destiny Gamer who writes Cruxis Child, which I believe to be the funnest tale I've ever heard, those of you who read mine should read Destiny Gamers and for those who are just passing through I still recommend reading the better story out of the two ;P!

Another inspiration that makes me feel like I can do anything I want as long as I put my all into it, is voice actor Cam Clarke, voice of Kratos Aurion and many others. It would truly be amazing to meet him in person, even for just a second, he inspires me to do anything, write, learn, sing, and from him I want to get better at my talents, so that I might make that dream come true.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia. Or Namco who so rudely ruined my damn Yuan's voice by using a deeper voice than his voice actually was in Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of a New World. I forever will be upset about that. And I would like to make it clear that changing his voice and Zelos' was the biggest mistake in the world!

Claimer: I own my opinion. Me, myself, and I. I own Stella. I also unfortunately own my bad grammar, misspellings, and misuse of words. I also own my dream ^*^!

A Cruxis Angel

-

Chapter Three

Anna....

"You're here..."

You're truly gone....

"You're...."

My everything...

"....no..."

Please wake me up... Anna....

"Please..."

Kratos Aurion, ex-Cruxis member, fell to his knees before the stoned grave, of his beloved wife, he felt his heart, his only human feelings begin to dissolve with heartache.

Hot warm moisture formed from the corner of his eyes, without consent from their owner, they began to pour from him. Sliding along his cheeks, down an invisible path already created for them, they followed down to his chin, and began to form into drops of sorrow.

Wake me.... up

He brought his gloved hand up and placed it hesitantly on the stone, he felt the coolness from the grave even though the sun shone brightly onto it. No matter how hard the sun rayed upon the stone it would always remain as his heart was forming. Cold.

Anna....

The drops of salty tears fell from his chin and onto his knee. They dripped down endlessly, he had never felt such a sadness before, never once felt the lose of someone, the bitter coldness you feel once you no longer have something.

"You can't be..."

His garnet eyes closed. Tears streamed down the path their fellow tears had gone, and once again they began to feel with his sorrow, his lose, and his agony. They slid down his cheeks once more and down to his chin where they once more formed drops to pour onto her grave, onto his Anna's remains.

I was... so...

"You didn't deserve this... Anna." he cried lowly.

Kratos bent his head forward and laid his forehead on the stone, he gritted his teeth trying to force down the tears that continued to spill from his eyes.

"You.. you deserved so much better than this, Anna!"

I failed you.... I failed Lloyd.... I forced you both to run from your home... I forced you to run from a normal life.. I... I....

The words wanted to spill over his tongue along with his tears. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted so badly to hold her, tell her he loved her over and over again, that he would never harm her, never wish harm on her. But he couldn't do that either, could he?

"Anna.." he choked.

It was all an illusion.... I should have realized, Anna... that no matter how much I told myself I wouldn't hurt you... I ended up... I ended up...

His eyes opened, his vision blurred from his constant tears that didn't want to stop, he looked to his hands, his gloved hands. Those very hands. Those very blood soaked hands. They took her from him forever. Her life.

"I... I was so damn selfish..."

I always wanted you for myself. I knew this day would come. I knew that Yggdrasil-no Mithos would find us soon. I knew it. In the back of my mind I knew... but even though I knew.. I still... I still risked yours and Lloyd's life without much thought.

"I killed you... even before it happened.." he whispered.

I'm... I'm so sorry Anna.....

He allowed his eyes to close once more, leaning onto the gray stone, feeling his warm tears continuously roll down his cheeks. He dropped his head and felt the tears stream over his nose and pour from the tip of it.

No matter how much I tell you... no matter how much or how hard...

Kratos' shoulders shook from the weight that was slowly being lifted upon his shoulder. The dark weight that continued to loom over him.

"I'm pathetic... Anna..."

Without you, Anna... I am truly pathetic.

He chuckled sadly at the thought, "I am but you always knew that, didn't you, Anna? I can't... I can't even control my own damn emotions, I'm so pathetic." his garnet eyes opened to stare at the ground. "Do you remember...."

Do you remember telling me I was pathetic?

"I do..." The mercenary shook his head slightly, "I feel.. so broken without you here, Anna... When I should be comforting our son during these times, I'm here. I truly am pathetic."

Tears ran along his nose, down to the tip and began to form drops that soon journeyed down onto her grave, Kratos sat down before her, after removing his sheath from his side, slowly he brought a gloved hand to his face.

"I'm crying, Anna..." he whispered with a sad smile. "Me. The emotionless angel."

----

"Let's go." Kratos crossed his arms staring down at her.

The two stood before bodies. The bodies of Luin, they had been killed by the Desians from the ranch the two stood in.

Anna quickly turned to him, her eyes huge, tears spilled along her face, "Don't you have any emotions?! My father..." she looked to the man at her feet, he was covered in blood, his eyes closed and his breathing long gone, "My.. father."

"We don't have time to worry about them."

Anna frowned and slowly got to her feet, turning from him, "I love my father, Kratos. You may not feel anything for these people but I..." she choked trying to calm herself, "Maybe if you tried acting like a real human, you'd understand how I feel about them..."

----

"You were right.. Anna... I didn't understand what it was like." he closed his eyes, allowing more tears to spill across his face. "The feeling of lose. The feeling of agony. I truly never understood what you went through that day..."

Anna....

"I'm sorry..."

No matter how much I apologize...

"For the wrong I've done."

No matter how much I ask for forgiveness...

"No matter how much tears I spill...."

I will always hate myself...

"For hurting you and Lloyd..."

Please...

"Forgive this angel...."

Forgive this damned soul...

"This seraphim whom in the end couldn't protect the one of the two things that meant more than anything..." Kratos opened his eyes allowing the final tear to roll across his cheek, down along his jaw, and to his chin where it formed into the last pray, his last heartache, his last act as human.

-x-

"I can't believe I agreed to this..." Yuan scratched his cheek nervously as he stepped back to look at the toddler, who was now dressed in a white jump-like-suit, it had red strips running along the entire outfit similar to the way Kratos' judgment suit did, two small strings looped along the boys back to his feet.

"Whoa!" the boy stated excitedly. "I look like daddy now, right?"

The half-elf placed his hand on his forehead and shook his head, "You don't have his hair style and your missing the cold expression."

"Daddy doesn't have a cwold espession."

He sighed, "Of course. What was I thinking.." he dropped his head in defeat. "Than all that is needed is his hair style." he waved his hand, gestering to the boys brunette hair that spiraled up on his head.

"Could you fix it, Uncle Yuan."

The angel cringed at hearing the name. He wasn't quite used to that name and he wasn't sure he'd ever get use to it.

Lloyd ran over to his uncle, reaching his arms up for Yuan to pick him up, after a moment the blue haired seraph picked the three-year-old up and headed towards the nearest bathroom, so he could fix the little ball of joys hair.

Yuan stopped when he faintly heard a warp sound coming from outside. Yuan's ears twitched slightly as he could vaguely make out Kratos' voice calling for his son and friend.

"Your father is hear." he muttered to Lloyd.

"Really?!"

He nodded.

"Daddy!" he shouted jumping off the counter and out the bathroom.

Kratos had been nearing the kitchen when Lloyd slid right into him, "Lloyd?" the mercenary blinked a little surprised to find his son dressed in something that looked to be cruxis wear. He looked around to see Yuan casually making his way over, "What is the meaning of this?" he began calmly.

Yuan cleared his throat, "I can assure you this wouldn't have happened had you listened to me." he pointed out in his defense.

"Do you like daddy? I asked Uncle Yuan if I could look like you!"

The auburn hair man looked down to his son, the boys hair was only half down on his face not even properly fixed, he assumed it was Yuan's best attempt to make Lloyd look like him. After a moment of silence, Kratos chuckled and patted his sons head, "Yeah.. though you're missing a few things."

"What's that?"

"A sword and a better hair stylist."

Yuan glared, "I'll take my leave then." he turned away and began to head back to his office.

"Yuan..."

He glanced over his shoulder.

"Thank you."

His expression lightened, giving a slight smile he replied, "Don't mention it." he turned back around to face the two, "However don't ask me to do it again."

"It couldn't have been that bad." Kratos arched a brow.

"Worse you mean. The boy had me running all over the base looking for Noishe and when he realized he wasn't here after I told him multiply times, he gets himself locked in a room and it takes me an hour to get the damn thing open. Do you have any idea how scared spit-less I was?! It's not funny Kratos so wipe that smirk off your face!" he pointed.

"Right."

"I don't think you truly know the horror I went through, Kratos."

As soon as Yuan said it, he knew he shouldn't have. He knew the moment the words came out he would regret it for eternity. However to the surprise of the half-elf, Kratos just gave him a blank stare and shrugged.

"Daddy, may we play hide and seek?"

"Not here Lloyd."

"Why not?" the boy tilted his head up at his father, "Me and Uncle Yuan did."

Garnet eyes narrowed on the careless half-elf who stood there, arms crossed over his chest as if he hadn't done a thing, when he noticed the glare he shrugged, "What?"

"Yuan..."

"He wanted to play it."

"It's dangerous."

"It'll always be dangerous."

"That's not the point."

"Isn't it?" Yuan shot. "As long as you both hide from Yggdrasil, it'll always be dangerous. What do you think I've been trying to tell you, Kratos?"

"I'm not listening to this." the angel began to walk away, holding his son in his arms.

Yuan wasn't however about to give this up so he quickly went in pursuit of the two, "One of these days you are going to find yourself in a corner, Kratos Aurion, and no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how much you hide, it won't make things better."

Kratos came to a halt and spun to face his half-elf friend, "Do you expect me to give Lloyd, mine and Anna's son, to Yggdrasil than, Yuan?!"

"Daddy? Uncle Yuan?"

The two of them looked away from their heated argument to Lloyd who sat in his fathers arms looking up at them with tearful eyes.

"Why are you yelling at one another?"

"...."

"I'm sorry, Kratos." Yuan decided to be the first to apologize even though he wasn't wrong. He stepped back from the two and sighed, "But the way everything stands... Lloyd is endanger no matter where you go." he lowered his jade colored gaze, "I'm not saying you should hand him over to Yggdrasil, I doubt that would make everything better anyway..." he brought his eyes up to Kratos', locking them to understand, "I don't know what you should do, Kratos, but you'd better come up with something before Yggdrasil founds out you're here."

Kratos turned his gaze away, "I'll think about it, alright?" he whispered beginning his walk towards the rooms that the pair had been given.

-x-

"You're crazy!" Yuan shouted thrusting his palms into his desk scattering the paper work that had been there before onto the floor.

"It might work." Kratos reasoned once more.

The half-elf shook his head in more of a disbelief than anything. It had only been an hour since their heated discussion about what to do with Lloyd and Yggdrasil but the conclusion that Kratos had somehow come up with was a little unorthodox.

"Kratos, given the current situation I have been very forgiving but you are crazy if you think I'm going to allow you to expose yourself to Yggdrasil like this than you have another thing coming!"

"Yuan, I understand your reaction from the idea but if I can get Yggdrasil to see that I won't stay unless my son stays than maybe.. just maybe he will accept that fact and ignore the boy." Kratos persisted calmly.

Once more the man found this whole thing a headache. Slowly he sat back down in his chair and tried calming himself down, he knew once Kratos had something set a certain way that it stuck there for eternity however such a risk was something that needed to be avoided at all costs. Yuan couldn't possibly think what Yggdrasil would do to Lloyd when he found the boy, nor what he'd do if by any chance he agrees with the deal and is with the toddler by himself.

Carefully the half-elf brought his thin pale fingers up to his forehead to try applying pressure on the spot where he felt the throbbing of this onslaught starting. He was to old to be dealing with this kind of crap, though he looked young and felt young, his mind and thoughts were that of an older being, one who had seen many deaths, many arguments, many loses, all of which he'd much rather not play out again.

"Kratos," he began after a moment of silence that had settled between the two. If he had to play out one thing he'd play friend over and over again, "What do you plan on doing if this doesn't work?"

The auburn haired man said nothing for a moment. As if deciding whether or not to tell his blue-haired friend. "To be honest Yuan. I, myself have no alternative. It's either talking to Mithos or I will have to once more run with Lloyd."

Yuan knew far more than anyone that Kratos did not want to play the traitor once more and with his son. The man didn't want to say it or even admit it but he knew that Kratos was right, that the only thing they could do was speak with Mithos, speak to Yggdrasil about bringing in Lloyd as a member of Cruxis.

"Would Anna concur with this, Kratos?" he knew the answer already but wanted to hear it from the angels lips nonetheless. He wanted to know if the Aurion was truly willing to go against something his wife would want.

"...."

The mercenary looked away from his friend. In the back of his mind he knew it was the only way to protect Lloyd, it was the only way to keep him safe from harms way, the only way to keep Lloyd from suffering the fate of his mothers, however.... however a part of him didn't want this life for his son, didn't want him to serve under a leader whose only goal in life was to resurrect his sister.

"If you cannot go against the wishes of a loved one, Kratos." Yuan stood from his chair calmly, his expression portraying no emotion. "Than I suggest you get out of here immediately."

"No."

The whisper was slightly inaudible but the half-elf heard it even if the walls couldn't. He brought his jade colored eyes up to lock garnet ones across from them, "Than?" he prompted.

"Anna wouldn't like this. And I will suffer the consequences of my action when they make themselves known. Until than my only goal in life is to keep Lloyd safe and raise him to grow up into a better man that I am not." Kratos watched Yuan, whom in turn did the exact same thing.

It was silent. The room was still.

Yuan sighed, dropping his head to shake it in disbelief, as if trying to figure out why he was about to do what he was about to do, "Than I'll watch Lloyd for you until you get back."

"Thank you, Yuan." the man across from him smiled genuinely before leaving the office.

"Thank me when you actually get back." grumbled the half-elf as he sat back down in his chair finally taking notice of the mess scattered around his floor. "What the-?! How the-?! Grrr.... Kratos Aurion, you're a dead man!!" he shouted angrily after the male, knowing full well that this mess hadn't been here before.

------

Thank you for reading chapter three of A Cruxis Angel ^*^. I hope Kratos' scene in the beginning was good, I tried really har to make it very emotional, though I can't say for sure if I hit that marker or not. Anyway inspiration to that scene goes to Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright, I listened to that song over and over again while writing up that scene, also I was really mad when writing that scene so I hope I got the right feelings across. Please review, I'd like to hear how bad my grammar and etc, is, lol.

-Destined-Fate