Bruce knew he wasn't the poster child to being the best father. It could be because he lost his father when he was just a little boy and never got the chance to have his father set an example of what Bruce should be like.

Or, the other plausible theory, it was because of his life. Being Batman. His obsession was what Dick had once thrown in his face during one their fights that eventually lead to Dick leaving.

Originally there had not been just one reason why Bruce had taken in Jason and had made the mistake of making him Robin before he had the chance to come to grips with his mother's recent, at the time, death. (Death. Not murdered. How important the difference was, Bruce thought as he looked back.)

Bruce had thought if he allowed Jason to be Robin would help him. How wrong he had been, Bruce thought as the memory of Jason suicidally diving into those thugs flashes in his mind. Jason wasn't Dick or even Bruce.

Yes, while Willis Todd had been murdered by Two Face Jason had never been that close to his absent criminal father. Jason's mother (who was recently discovered wasn't Jason's actually mother but still dearly loved) had died in drug overdose despite Jason's attempts of keeping drugs and drug dealers away from his mother.

Which lead to Jason using Robin as way to let out all the anger inside of him. (There was nothing wrong with anger if you used it to fuel you. But if you let it control you like , which Jason did have a habit of doing, it didn't end well and that's why Bruce had momentarily taken Robin away from Jason.) Instead of being like Dick who used Robin as a way to get closure than a way to help people.

And help Bruce. There was just something about having someone there with him on patrol, to just have partner instead of being alone.

Bruce ran his hands through his hair. For the fist time since Jason had become a Robin Bruce felt tired, weary, worn down to his bones.

He was once again facing Janus. Two options. Two paths.

Go after the Joker who had once again broken out of Arkham (perhaps the Wayne Enterprise should generously donate to the mental hospital to upgrade the security) who would normally murder and leave chaos behind his wake but with a nuclear weapon it was a guaranteed.

Or follow Jason who was looking for his biological mother with their neighbor's young son, Tim Drake (who until Alfred had told him Bruce hadn't know his son had the acquaintance with).

Besides being Jason's guardian there was the fact one of the three woman that could Jason's mother was Sandra Wu-San. Who was more commonly known as Lady Shiva. A talented assassin Bruce had encountered before that was supposedly one of the best in the world.

It's painfully obvious which path, face of Janus to listen to. But the real question was how would he leave with himself for choosing it if something happened to Jason?

Bruce tried to shallow but realized his throats was dry.

Jason was a good fighter, a good soldier. He could take care of himself until Bruce was able to catch up with him after he apprehended the Joker.

(Bruce ignored the gnawing feeling in his stomach about his decision.)

Jason had never really tried to think of the days that lead to his murder (not that anyone could actually blame him for that). Until the witch who worked for Gotham's newest upstart drug lord trying to do a takeover did something to send him in the past.

At first Jason had been pissed. Why do you hate me universe? Had been somewhere along the lines of his thoughts.

Out of all the years, days he could be sent back in it had to be days before he had been murdered by the fucking clown prince of Gotham.

(It shouldn't have surprised Jason. Life wasn't easy and it never would be on him. And if things were going good it was the calm before the storm.)

Then Jason had realized what an opportunity this was. He held all the fucking cards for the first time since he came back to Gotham as the Red Hood to get Bruce to kill the Joker.

He had the ability to change everything. A chance to get Tim to become his Robin and not lose lose spleen or meet Ra's who had a creepy ass obsession over Jason's younger brother that sometimes Jason swears is not just 'I enjoy your brilliant mind detective' but I also like your body which just no.

No.

No.

No.

Did Jason mention no?

What the hell was with Robins attracting creepy ass criminals?

First Deathstroke for Dickiebird, Tim with Ra's al Ghul, then Dickiebird once again with villain Bruce from another world that was on obsessed with owls like Bruce was with bats.

After the last one Jason had sat down Steph and and Damian and told them they sure as hell better not get any villains in obsessed with them like Dick and Tim had.

Anyway, besides now there had only been one time Jsson had thought back on this time of his life.

When he had learnt about Cassandra Cain the daughter of Lady Shiva and David Cain.

Had no children Jason's ass.

There could be a chance that Lady Shiva was in fact his mother.

Maybe Shelia had originally lied about being his mother so she should give the Joker the ward of Bruce Wayne to save her own her skin. (And to be honest part of him, a childish part, doesn't want to know. Wants to keep believing that the Joker had forced her hand but there's a bigger part of him that needs to know.).

Jason didn't know and that's why he left Gotham. He wanted answers and maybe Lady Shiva also knew something about where her daughter was.

A/N: I own nothing. Can be read on archiveofourown. Title from a Nirvana song.

1.) In this story Jason has became sorta friendly with Tim, Steph, and Damian for a few moths before he was accidentally sent back. He only knows about Cass through them and he doesn't know that much about her or where she is during this time.

2.) In case anyone is wondering what the hell Jason is talking about I'll explain. In Death in the Family Jason had three women that could be his mother. One of them was Lady Shiva. Bruce ending up giving her a supposed truth serum to get answers out of her. Lady Shiva told Bruce and Jason she had never given birth to any children. Which is lie because Cassandra Cain is around Tim and Steph's age so either that truth serum didn't work at all or Shiva has been taking it in small doses for immunity like Cheshire does with poisons...