The PuckElix Songbook Chapter 4: Whiskey Lullaby, a glee fanfic

WARNINGS: Suicide/dark themes. If this triggers you, you may not want to read this chapter.

Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

As the guitar starts playing a single spotlight appears, focusing on Finn Hudson. The former quarterback moves to a casket and opens it, revealing Noah Puckerman, eyes closed and a peaceful expression on his face. Finn absentmindedly wipes away a tear from his eye at the sight of his deceased best friend. Continuing to look at Puck, Finn starts singing.

He put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette
He broke his heart, he spent his whole life trying to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get him off his mind
Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said, 'I'll love him till I die.'
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Puck couldn't take it anymore. Living without Elix was like living without air. He was slowly suffocating, and nothing was going to save him. He remembers that horrible day like it was yesterday, even though it was nearly six months ago. After a night of vigorous love-making, Elix had dropped the bomb that he was in love with someone else.

Elix and Puck had dated since high school. Didn't that mean anything to Elix? Apparently not. Ten long, seemingly happy, years together were practically erased when Elix had moved out and gone to live with his new boyfriend, Sam. The day the younger man moved out was the day Puck started replacing his ex with his new lover, Whiskey. Whiskey doesn't lie to you. Whiskey doesn't wake up one day and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore. Or at least, that's the way Puck justified his new relationship to Finn and Mike.

Eventually, enough was enough. Even Whiskey wasn't enough to pull Puck out of his depression anymore. Noah threw the picture he was holding of him and Elix on their first date at the wall, not even flinching when the frame and glass shattered into dozens of pieces. Grabbing his trusty Whiskey bottle, Puck stumbled into his bedroom, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen on the way. He practically collapsed on the bed, and immediately began writing on the paper he brought with him.

I know I'll never be enough. I'm a Lima Loser through and through. I don't deserve to know any of the wonderful people that I do, but I know one thing's for sure. I'll love him until I die, and nothing's going to change that. He may not love me back, and I may not be enough for him, but my love for him will never stop.

After he finished writing, he tossed the paper to the ground before reaching into his nightstand and retrieving his 32-caliber revolver. Taking the last swig of his liquid courage, he pointed the gun to his temple and taking a deep breath as he pulled the trigger.

Another spotlight appears, this time focusing on Kurt Hummel and an unopened casket lying parallel to the one holding Puck. As the guitar continues, Kurt takes a deep breath and opens the casket, revealing Elix Risqué in his favorite formal clothing. Kurt visibly shudders as he looks at his best friend's lifeless body. He closes his eyes to collect himself and begins singing.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much he blamed himself
For years and years he tried to hide the whiskey on his breath
He finally drank his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get him off his mind
Until the night

And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Elix remembered the day when he heard the news that Puck had commit suicide. He had refused to believe it for a few days until he was invited to the funeral. He was surprised to have gotten the invitation in the first place, since most people disliked him after he left Puck for Sam. During the entire funeral service, he could have sworn that he felt Puck's presence around him. Not a haunting, ominous presence, as one may expect, but more of a protective, forgiving one. Almost as if Puck were saying that he understood why Elix did what he did, and that it was okay.

It wasn't until after the service that Finn and Mike showed Elix the handwritten note. Immediately afterwards, wracked with guilt, Elix had made a direct trip to the liquor store and bought twelve bottles of their finest Whiskey.

It had been six weeks since Puck's death, and Elix wasn't sure how much longer he could handle it. Sam had gone to the gym to blow off some steam after yet another one of their fights, leaving Elix drunk and alone in their apartment. He couldn't help but replay what the suicide note said in his mind, and every time he did it, he felt an enormous weight piling onto his shoulders. Stumbling to his emergency getaway bag, Elix clumsily opened it and reached in to pull out of his most treasured possessions: a picture of him and Puck on their first date.

Lying on his stomach on the bed, Elix stared at the picture, as if hoping to be transported back to that simpler time. In his peripheral vision, Elix noticed his full prescription bottle of pain pills and thought to himself, A few seconds of pain, and then it's all over.

Reaching for the pills, Elix used his other hand to grab onto the Whiskey bottle on the ground near the bed. Taking another swig of his liquid courage, Elix downed the entire bottle of pills, washing it down with the rest of his Whiskey. Elix ignored the excruciating cramps in his stomach as he allowed the darkness to take him.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la

Thanks for reading this! I am so, so, so, so, so sorry for being on hiatus for so long, but I got this idea that wouldn't go away, so I did it! For my "Beautiful People" readers, I'm still working on Chapter 16, and it's over half-way done, so keep an eye out for it! Thank you for being patient with me!