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This chapter is longer than normal. There was a lot of dialog and details I wanted to get in to help expand a few things.
Chapter 3: Introductions
After he questioned the hobbit about his fighting skills, Thorin took a seat at the already crowded table and ate the soup that was set before him. The dwarves shoveled food into their hungry mouths as they chatted incessantly. Hegda stood just outside the crowded dining room watching the dwarves with disgust. They greedily grabbed at the food dropping crumbs into their scraggly beards and spilling beer down the front of their shirts. They didn't even bother to offer her something to eat. She didn't mind. The thought of sitting at the table with the gluttonous dwarves made her ill and besides dragons didn't need to eat very often.
In between bites of food and gulps of beer the dwarves rambled on about a meeting of the seven kingdoms and how the dwarves of the Iron Hills were not willing to join the quest. It was not important to Hegda she was more interested in the confused little hobbit, Bilbo.
"What an odd little creature," she thought to herself, "He seems totally overwhelmed by all that was going on. What is his part in all of this? He seems out of place among the ill-mannered dwarves."
Bilbo went off to find a candle when Gandalf asked for more light. Gandalf held a small map in his hands and requested more light in order to see it better. Hegda guessed with Gandalf's age he probably didn't see so well anymore. Bilbo returned with the candle and and the wizard spread the map on the table in front of Thorin.
What caught both Hegda's and Bilbo's attention was when one of the dwarves at the table recounted an old prophecy that stated "When the birds of yore return to Erebor the reign of the beast will end."
"Not likely, you puny runts!" Hegda thought with a hint of amusement.
"Uh, what beast?" Bilbo questioned.
Hegda fought hard to hold back a laugh. The hobbit had not a clue about what was going on.
A dwarf called Bofur with a funny hat answered Bilbo's question, "That would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age."
Hegda couldn't help but smile proudly. She smugly thought to herself, "They have no idea."
The dwarf continued, "Airborne fire-breather. Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals."
"Yes I know what a dragon is," the hobbit blurted out.
The blonde wimpy dwarf, Ori, stood up and yelled something about not being afraid and shoving Dwarvish iron up the dragons jacksie. Hegda stifled a growl and thought "Quiet you puny runt! You have no idea who you're dealing with! I will tear you limb for limb and cook your torso with by breath for a snack."
Gandalf spied Hegda's strange expression out of the corner of his eye and what he saw concerned him. What was that Gandalf saw? He wasn't sure but whatever it was made him nervous. He would keep a close eye on her.
The oldest dwarf spoke, "The task will be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen. And not thirteen of the best, nor brightest"
Hegda laughed as the other dwarves started arguing. That dwarf seemed to be the only smart one. One of the younger ones bragged about all of them being fighters. The other young dwarf sitting next to him chimed in that Gandalf must've slain hundreds of dragons.
"These dwarves are so clueless." Hegda grinned, "This will be easier than I thought. It will be too much fun toying with them before I incinerate them all."
Thorin thought it was time to introduce the groups newest member, "Hegda, come. I would like you to meet to rest of my fellow brave dwarves." He brought her over to the table where the dwarves continued their feast. "This is Hegda Spearclaws, a dragon-slayer from the northeast. She comes from a race of fearless dragon hunters." By now there was no question in his mind that she was who she said she was. She smiled to herself when she realized just how under her spell he was.
One of the dwarves asked her, "Well how many have you killed?"
"Three" Hegda said simply.
A bald dwarf then bellowed, "Since when do we hire a female human to do our work for us? This is a dwarf matter. We don't need any outsiders. I know you are our king but something about this does not feel right."
The dwarves started bickering amongst themselves. Most agreed with the bald dwarf. Hegda slammed her fist on the table and shouted, " You fools! This is not a simple task of slaying a dragon! We are talking about a fire drake, the toughest kind to kill. Do you think you could just walk up to it and slay it? It will cook you and eat you before you even get a glimpse of it!" When they calmed down she continued, "Thorin didn't hire me, I volunteered solely for the pleasure of killing another dragon. You need my help if you want your homeland back."
"Thorin this is preposterous!" one yelled and the rest joined in.
Thorin yelled something in dwarvish. They quieted down. He said that even though Smaug had not been seen for 60 years they could not be sure the dragon was truly dead. They must get back to the mountain for if the dragon was dead, the treasure it guarded was now left alone, leaving it for anybody to steal. There was still a chance that the dragon was alive so they would need the dragon slayer's help.
Hegda walked into the empty pantry pretending to look for something to eat. She snickered quietly thinking, "Trust me dwarf, I am alive and my gold is well protected. If only you knew the truth."
She looked back, the hobbit was trying to peek over Thorin's shoulders at something. She turned forward and continued her hunt for food. These dwarves are pigs, they left nothing. Just when she had given up she found a small roll. It was not something she would normally want to eat, in fact she despised anything but meat but she needed to fit in and the roll was better than nothing. When she walked out Thorin had a giant key in his hand and Bilbo said something about how they needed an expert burglar.
"And are you?" a dwarf asked the hobbit.
"Am I what?" he answered
Hegda burst out laughing. This hobbit was so naive!
The dwarves started bickering about whether Bilbo was a burglar or not. Gandalf stood up and the room darkened. He bellowed that Bilbo was a burglar because he said so. He insisted that hobbits can pass unseen by most if they wished and how the dragon was accustomed to the smell of dwarf but not to the smell of hobbit.
"Not so much anymore wizard," Hegda thought.
Gandalf asked Thorin to trust him on his choice. Bilbo seemed to be getting nervous. He was quite entertaining to watch. The dwarves handed him a ridiculously long contract. He skimmed through it. Hegda was amused by the whole scene. Gandalf looked amused as well.
"Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations, evisceration..." He looked up, "Incineration?"
Hedga grinned.
The dwarf named Bofur answered, "Aye, he'll melt the flesh right off your bones in the blink of an eye."
Bilbo was on the point of hysterics, "I feel a bit faint."
The dwarf pressed on, "Think furnace with wings."
"Air, I need air" Bilbo said.
"Flash of light, searing pain, then: Poof. You're nothing more than a pile of ash."
Hegda smiled, "This dwarf really knew how to say things."
Bilbo stared into space for a second said ,"No!" and then fainted. Hegda laughed so hard she choked on her bread. This was going to be quite an adventure.
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~JFDragonFire