The First Mission

"Ryumura! I can't believe they choose you to be Enaku's sensei!" Ryumura looked on in horror. Enraku had a face that radiated pure joy. "I haven't seen you for... how long was it?"

"I saw you last week. You removed that fork from my thigh."

Enraku laughed. "Rukia acting up again, huh? What was it last time?"

"The rice bowl. It was in my kidney. How do you forget about that?!"

"I remove a lot of things from a lot of people. Anyway, old man, I'm taking you out to eat, we need to catch up on old times!" Enraku grabbed Ryumura by the back of the vest and dragged him toward the door. Ryumura gave a pleading look toward the other 3 jonin in the room.

Unfortunately for him, what he had to work with was Anko, Gai, and Hayate. Anko just smiled at him in that creepy way of hers. Damn sadist!

Hayate gave him a look that said "Sorry, but he controls my medicine."

Gai just opened the door for Enraku. "Huzzah, it is Youthful to remember times with friends!!!"

Ryumura glared at him. "If you were youthful, you wouldn't have times to remember..."

Ichiraku Ramen

Enraku grinned at Ryumura. "Remember when we first came here?"

Ryumura could at least be fond of this memory. "Right after we became genin, wasn't it? Chikan-sensei(may she rest in peace) treated us to celebrate the success of our first mission... catching that damn cat!"

"Real accomplishment, that was. You going to treat your team after your first mission?"

"Probably. It depends on whether I like my team then or not."

"You don't like them?"

"The boy punched me in the jaw with a fist that was on fire. I don't know if the hairs on my beard will ever grow back. The girl fooled me with a simple illusion. Your boy planned all that, after he made me stand on an explosive tag. What's there not to like?"

"You should have seen what my team did to me. I was electrically charged for weeks! Couldn't actually do my job... kept shocking the patients..."

"Chikan-sensei didn't come out on top during our test, either. Between Rukia punching her in the face, you using your chakra scalpels... me distracting her by turning into a naked Jiraiya..."

"I think you caused the most lasting damage."

Ryumura starting eating his ramen, just in time for an awkward question. "So, Ryumura... when you planning... on getting married?" Ryumura spit out his burning hot ramen into Enraku's face.

"I've told you before, Rukia and I are not getting married. At least, not anytime soon. The only person who got married young was you..."

Ryumura quickly realized his mistake. The tears were already welling up in Enraku's eyes. Shit, he had brought up Konata. Uh...uh... how to stop this before it starts... He suddenly pointed behind Enraku. "Look, it's Enaku making out with a random girl!"

Enraku spun around faster than you could say 'doc'. "Enaku isn't over there... what was I talking about again?"

"Enraku, I know you, and you would never kidnap me just to talk about old times. What is this really about?"

Enraku looked sheepish. "I was waiting to tell you this later, but... I know what your first mission is!"

"How would you know that?!"

"Hokage-sama rambles on during his physicals."

"Ew."

"I know, right? Anyway, I think you'll enjoy it!"

"Just spill it already!" Enraku leaned close to Ryumura and started whispering. Ryumura gave him a long, hard look, and simply stated:

"Oh hell no."

Later, at The Mission Assignment Center

The new Team 2 stood gathered in the MAC. They had all switched out their previous outfits for new, genin worthy ones.

Enaku wore a dark green vest, with a white shirt with the number 4 underneath it. He now wore khaki pants, and his new headband was strapped across his forehead.

Hishou wore a brand new blue coat, with the bottoms stylishly tattered. His still wore his fishnet shirt under it, and also wore black pants. His headband was currently keeping his spiky hair up.

Hana wore a new green shirt, with blue shorts with white triangle around the hems. She wore her headband across her waist like a belt. A wakizashi was strapped to her back. She had also gotten a haircut, he green hair now just slightly below her ears.

Enaku stared at his sensei. His face had been stuck in an angry snarl for 10 minutes now. Every so often he emitted a sound like a cross between a growl and a sigh.

"Sensei, are you all right?"

"Hhhrrruuhhh."

The Hokage looked confusedly at Ryumura. He couldn't possibly know what his mission was, could he? The only one he told was his doctor, but he had an excellent record for doctor-patient confidentiality... ah well, he'll chalk it up to Ryumura being like that one councilman, who knows everything.

He cleared his throat. "I am happy to inform you that I am now assigning you your first mission! Team 2's goal is to..."

Several Minutes Later

The cat known as Tiger stalked through the streets, just waiting for the onslaught it knew was inevitably coming. Suddenly he knew it was time. The four figures staring at hi from down the street were definitely it.

The shorter boy was grinning at him, making those damn annoying 'come here boy' movements with his hands.

The other boy just stared impassively at the fool, not really caring about Tiger at all.

The girl was just smiling at Tiger, so much more kindly than most of them do...

Tiger froze. He knew the 4th figure. Sure, he was older than then, he was taller than before, and he had more hair on his face, but it was him.

Memories of a chase long since passed flashed through Tiger's mind. In the present, the man had a disgruntled look on his face.

Team 2 POV

Ryumura glared at the cat. This thing should have been an S-Rank! He quickly thought of plans, before just throwing them out mentally. What would Chikan-sensei do?!

Ryumura broke out in a grin as he remembered exactly what his sensei did.

Enaku turned to Ryumura when his cat calls proved less than successful. "Ryumura-sensei, what are we going to do?"

Ryumura shook his head smugly. "We aren't doing anything. You are going to catch."

Enaku nearly popped a blood vessel. "You're our sensei! You're supposed to help us with missions!"

"My sensei just stuck those weird sunglasses of hers on her face, sat on a nearby rooftop, watched and laughed her ass off. Exactly what I'm doing!" He did the standard Jonin teleport, leaving behind only a note that said 'good luck' on it and a odd drawing of a grinning Ryumura.

Enaku stared at the note speechless. He shook it off and turned to his teammates. "So, guys, what is our plan?"

Hishou smirked. "This mission is beneath me. It's more fitting for common folk like you."

"Says the guy whose leg is still broken."

Hishou sputtered incoherent words of rage. Enaku just turned to his best friend and teammate. "Hana?"

"Cats say meow, unless it's a dog."

Enaku sighed. "Guess it's just me, huh?" Enaku faced the cat, who was still watching out of morbid curiosity. "Cat, it's time to go back home!"

Tiger hissed at him. Enaku just walked up to the cat, and picked him right up. "Wow, that wasn't so hard..."

Ryumura, watching from a rooftop, was rapidly eating a mysteriously acquired bucket of popcorn in anticipation.

SWISH! TEAR! SQUISH! THUD!

Enaku stared in horror at the cat who was currently embedded by the claw into his skull, having cut through his headband and flesh to do so.

Several seconds later

Tiger ran in terror across the village rooftops from the scratched, bruised, enraged, and bleeding heavily from the forehead ninja. His torn and bloody headband was gripped tightly in his left hand.

"You're not getting away from me you goddamn rat!" Enaku pulled out a explosive-tagged kunai, and threw it at the cat in hopes of making it lose it's footing. Unfortunately, he missed his mark. It was now right by his own feet.

The explosion was heard throughout the village. Luckily, it didn't vaporize Enaku, and merely blew him clear. Unluckily, it blew him clear over the edge of the roof. Luckily, he managed to grab the roof edge with a bandage-wrapped hand. Unluckily, what he saw standing above him while he squinted through the blood chilled his heart.

Tiger was standing by his hand, ridiculously sharp claws poised over it. "Now, cat, we both know you don't want to do that."

SWISH!

Enaku cursed the cat as he fell down into the street, crashing right through the roof of Ichiraku's Ramen, face landing in the boiling hot, salty ramen being made.

Elsewhere

Tiger glared at the blue cloaked, spiky haired boy currently staring at him. "Now that Enaku has failed spectacularly, I can one up him and get the glory for this mission." Hishou started running at the cat, who yawned lazily at him. Suddenly, a flash of claws raked into the flesh of Hishou's broken leg, and brought him to his knees. Another flash of claws and Hishou was grasping his face in agony. Breathing heavily, he looked upwards at his reflection in a nearby shop window.

"MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Hishou then fainted, having lost several of his fangirls.

On a rooftop

Ryumura grinned at the 2 idiots that were now his job to watch. He hadn't been this entertained for years! He's lost track of Hana, as well as the cat, but what did that matter. However, a sound behind him soon brought his joy to and end. "What?"

Ryumura turned around to fix his yellow eyes on the intruder. "So, we meet again."

"Meow."

"I assume you want revenge?"

"Meow."

"I thought as much." Ryumura and Tiger stared at one another, Ryumura's longer than normal headband billowing dramatically in the wind. He slowly reached toward his sleeve to pull it up, revealing the weapon seal wrapped around his arm.

"I knew it would come to this one day." He activated the seal, grabbing the katana that it held, readying it into a fighting stance.

"Meow."

"Come on! BRING IT! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

Later

Hana climbed up to the rooftop, where she found Tiger lying fast asleep on Ryumura's chest, massive puddle of blood spread out beneath him. She smiled at the cat, and held out her arms. "Come on, Tiger, time to go home." The cat stood up sleepily, walked over to her and jumped into her arms.

At the MAC

A large woman, currently clutching a resigned cat to her chest, smiled gratefully at her heroes. "How can I ever thank you!?"

Ryumura, who, despite his frightening number of injuries, had elected to just use a simple pair of crutches to get around, growled angrily. "No thanks is necessary, my Lady." This was said more like "F U and Die."

Hishou was clutching his legs, sitting in the fetal position in the corner, muttering insanely.

Enaku, sitting in a wheel chair, all four limbs set in casts, his face absolutely covered in burn dressings, bandages, and stitches, told her exactly how she could thank him. "Mmff Mmff, Umf Fomm Tem." Well, he told her something.

Hana smiled and bowed. "It was absolutely no trouble."

The cat owner smiled and walked out of the room. The Third Hokage cleared his throat. "Now, with that out of the way, it is time for your second mission!"

Enaku used much colorful language the old man couldn't make out. Ryumura happily translated.