Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Supreme Mugwump and Chief Warlock looked expectantly around at his staff. After several moments of silence he decided that perhaps further encouragement was needed. Clearing his throat he asked benignly "Does anyone have anything particular they wish to discuss in this staff meeting?" The silence continued. Albus was surprised; normally the staff had plenty to say after their first week back – often rants about the marauders latest antics or the ongoing civil war between Gryffindor and Slytherin, which tended to end with many staff members trying to remember they had wanted to teach in the first place.
When the continuing silence finally began to become uncomfortable as well as confusing Albus decided to be more specific in his questions; "Minerva, how are the Marauders doing this term?" Apparently this was the right question as suddenly the staff room was full of shouts and rants. Albus surveyed the chaos with mild astonishment as he began to look back over his memories from the previous week. Eventually he came to the conclusion that he must have missed something as he couldn't remember the Marauders doing anything serious enough to warrant this reaction. He was fairly certain that they hadn't managed confund the doorknob that was the guardian to Ravenclaw tower again; that had been a nightmare. He could still remember having to comfort several distraught Ravenclaws as they were refused admittance into their tower until they had managed by chance to guess that the answer to the gibberish it had been spouting was a sparkling crumple - horned snorkack. Xenofilius Lovegood in particular had never quite recovered and now apparently spent his holidays searching for one despite Professor Flitwick's continued assurances that they did not in fact exist.
Dragging himself out of his thoughts he managed to stop the commotion with several loud bangs from his wand. Resettling his glasses he asked, in a weary tone of voice, "what have the boys done now?" Instead of everyone shouting again, as he half expected and dreaded, his staff gave him some very strange looks before Minerva finally offered the answer he sought. "That is the problem Albus. They haven't done anything – well nothing that is up to their usual standards. They have been surprisingly quiet."
Looking around at his clearly traumatised staff Albus asked bemusedly "then why are you all so tense? Shouldn't you be relieved? You've all been begging them to tone it down for years".
Apparently this was a stupid question as they all favoured him with looks that they normally reserved for special students – Gilderoy Lockheart for example. Now Albus Dumbledore believed that very little could truly astound him but the reaction of his muggle studies teacher to this gentle inquiry definitely caught him off guard. To his shock she threw back her head and let out what could only be called a maniacal laugh before screaming "That is just the point! They aren't doing anything! They're lulling us into a false sense of security and then when we least expect it they'll blow us all up! They're hell's spawn just waiting for us to be vulnerable..." At this point she trailed off and began rocking back and forth on her chair and alternating between laughing and sobbing hysterically.
As Albus stared Poppy, the school matron stood and made her towards the distraught woman and then began attempting to comfort her. When it became apparent that her methods weren't working, to Albus' dismay, she simply opened the poor woman's mouth before pouring a vial of calming draught followed by a vial of dreamless sleep down her throat, and once she had passed out Poppy had levitated the unconscious woman's body and had left the staff room without a word floating her patient in front her.
There was silence for a further few minutes as Albus attempted to come to terms with what had just occurred. Eventually he shook his head and gave up and returned his attention to the rest of the staff to find many of them still starring after the poor woman in pity, and in some cases envy. Albus briefly entertained the thought of charging the marauders double fees, they had certainly lost him enough perfectly competent staff members, before once again turning back to the matter at hand.
"So, if I may clarify?" when he received no answer he continued "the marauders have done nothing; absolutely nothing. And this, admittedly rather unusual behaviour, had driven one of my staff members to a mental breakdown." He received several nods as an answer. Deciding that it was probably safest for his mental health not to dwell on these matters he pushed bravely on. "Does anyone here have any theories as to this rather dramatic behavioural shift?"
Again there was silence before Minerva answered again, "There was some doubt among the students earlier this week, but now the general consensus is that Sirius Black is on the verge of a mental breakdown and has lost his little remaining sanity." she paused for a moment before looking around at her colleagues as though begging one of them to continue. None of them did. Minerva sighed and then pushed on "it appears that whichever explanation you hear they all have one thing in common; Harrison Peters." Dumbledore was suddenly very interested. He had planned to bring the boy up at the staff meeting anyway, to see how he was settling in and if they had any clue as to his political affiliations, although as a Slytherin he thought he probably already knew. He gestured for Minerva to continue. She took a deep breath "most of the students believe that Black is in an illicit relationship with Peters, or at least desires to be, and can't cope with the fact that she is in love with a snake and dating a Slytherin. As such the marauders have spent their time dealing with Black instead of on causing mayhem."
For a moment Albus thought that his Deputy Headmistress was joking before he caught the serious looks on the faces of the other staff members. Pushing this startling new revelation aside for the moment he asked another question, but this time directed at the Head of Slytherin "Horace, how had Peters settled in? Can you add anything to these rumours?"
Horace Slughorn sighed "He has settled in fine. Surprisingly well in fact considering that he is a half-blood. He has made his way up the Slytherin political ladder with astonishing speed, but doesn't seem to be particularly affiliated with anyone in particular. And before you ask Albus, no, I have no idea if he is a death eater. He has kept his head down and doesn't speak out like Malfoy does, but that doesn't really mean anything. Peters seems to be a shadows person – the power behind the throne as it were. I'd be weary of him if I were you though – he is phenomenally gifted magically, something of a prodigy.
The story that he is telling as to why he is here is that he was homes schooled by his mother in Ireland, but that she was killed shortly after he had taken his O. in a death eater attack. I have confirmed that; there was indeed a Lilya Peters killed in August in Ireland in a death eater attack. He says that he took his O. at the Irish Ministry, which was as you know destroyed, which is why he has only the results that they sent him as proof. That also checks out. A Harrison Peters did indeed sit his exams at the Irish Ministry. His results are exceptional – straight Os – and his magical skills certainly match them. However I have not been able to find any photos of either Lilya or Harrison Peters, and as they lived in isolation, and most of the local communities were destroyed in attacks there is no way to know if the Harrison Peters here is the same Harrison Peters that grew up in Ireland. He certainly doesn't have an accent. As regards Black I don't know. She certainly seems interested him, but beyond that I don't know." Having said his piece Horace leaned back in his chair.
Silence reigned once again while Dumbledore considered what he had been told. Eventually he reached a decision. Gazing once more at his staff he said "Watch Peters as best you can. Report anything of interest. Otherwise I would take the marauders silence as a well deserved break and not worry about them. I am sure that they will be back to their usual antics in no time at all." Having said his piece, eyes twinkling, he swept from the staff room.
After a moment the others followed him debating among themselves which of them would now be gifted with the unfortunate duty of covering muggle studies.