Marissa tried to slow her breathing as she made her way back to Jason's ICU room. They had already had too many scares with him dying on the courthouse steps, coding in the ER and during surgery, and not to mention his incision started oozing blood. She had hoped he would be awake by now, but those hopes diminished when she reached his room and found he was still in a coma.
She sat down next to his bed, in the same chair two of her other teammates had already sat in. It was a shame he was too weak to have the whole team in at once, instead resorting to only one at a time.
"Jason there's so much I want to tell you." Marissa started. "I still admire you. Always have always will. You are one of the strongest people I know. Right now, you need to prove that strength a little more and get better."
As if those words were supposed to magically wake him up, she waited. Waited for something that never came. His emerald eyes still hidden behind closed eyelids. She stood and walked over to the window and looked out across New York. She thought of Jason, how he would enjoy this view. He always loved the view from his office. She would catch him looking out across the city, sadly with a glass in his hand. He had really let himself go and she felt as though she should have called him out long before now.
"If you remember the case we were working, Jim Grayson's case. Benny and I stood there in your office and overlooked as you rubbed your chest in pain. I'm not blaming Benny for not catching it. I'm blaming the both of us. We should have caught on and got you help before this ever happened." Marissa explained. She turned to see Jason was still out cold. She returned to the ever faithful "team chair" as she thought of it. She sighed before she decided to get off her chest what she had wanted to tell him but didn't want to tell him. She felt like it would have been better to just write the letter and let Jason find it, come to think of it now, he probably would have had a heart attack in his office had that happened. So instead she sat in his ICU room, hoping that he could hear her and decided to tell him what was in the letter and why she had considered leaving TAC.
"Jason, I wanted to discuss this with you face to face but I couldn't do it. Instead I wrote a letter and put in in your desk drawer. Now I feel like I need to come clean about it. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the last little while, trying to figure out why I'm not happier than I am. There are, of course, a hundred answers to that question, but clearly one of them is that I've had the terrible ill fortune to have found myself working for someone I adore more than words can describe at an enterprise that gives me more satisfaction than anyone has the right to expect. Sadly, I had come to realize that I am so consumed with you and TAC, that there is very little me left for the rest that life has to offer. I was going to resign Jason, but I couldn't do it. You have changed my life and You're an amazing man, Jason Bull. And if I am tough on you, it is only because I hold you in such high regard that I cannot bear to see you be less than you are capable of. So now Jason I need you to fight. So, you can return to the company in which you created." Marissa said as she wiped her tears. "Thanks for being alive."
Marissa took Jason's cold, limp hand and gave it a bit of a squeeze.
"Get to feeling better Jason. We are all here for you." Marissa said before she turned and walked out of his room.
When Chunk saw Marissa come back into the waiting room he could tell she was trying to be strong, but all of this had taken such a hard toll on each one of the team members. He took her into his arms as she wept. When she was calm enough he let her go back to the team as he went in for his time with Bull.
The moment Chunk walked in a wave of guilt washed over him. The night before he had called Jason a psychopath. Saying that he had the tendencies of a serial killer. He didn't realize the turmoil and pain Jason was going through, or that Jason was on the verge of a massive heart attack.
"Bull I am so sorry." Chunk said as he took a seat next to his boss.
"After all you have done for me, I was extremely rude towards you. I had no right to be. You have given me an amazing job, offered to keep me on at TAC while I go to school to become a lawyer, you got me a scholarship so I could go to school. When my daughter came to town, you allowed me to use your car and driver so I could impress her. All that I took in little regard and instead treated you horribly. When I saw you on the courthouse steps this morning it made my stomach churn. I didn't know if you were dead or alive. The look on your face will forever haunt me. Neither myself or Benny should have allowed you to walk out of that courtroom. For that I am sorry. For everything I am sorry. I hope that you will forgive me. You have truly been amazing." Chunk said. As he raised up out of the chair he patted Jason's leg. "Get to feeling better buddy."
Danny watched as Chunk came out of the ICU. She was the last one to go back and see Jason, and she couldn't be happier. It was time for her to give him a piece of her mind.