And I need you, 'cause lately you've been the world to me.
I need you, 'cause lately you've got the best of me.
Fall apart, fall apart, fall apart.
Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave me.

- Don't Leave, Seven Lions feat. Ellie Goulding (2014).

"English, what our main character speaks."

"Japanese, what everyone else speaks unless otherwise stated."

'Thoughts.'

Note: Each elemental nation has it's own personal language. For the common tongue, the language is vaguely similar to Mandarin Chinese except archaic in its usage. Also, much like in Quebec, Canada; where children learn both Canadian French as well as English, so do the children in the Land of Fire learn the pseudo-Japanese and pseudo-Chinese. This is in part because of the founding clans; the Senju (Shen-Yu) is Chinese in origin and the Uchiha is Japanese in origin.

For the Land of Fire, the national language is Japanese, but if speaking formally at work/on-duty or to strangers or just in serious situations so there can be no mistake of the meaning, Chinese is the default.

Eventually, when our main character starts speaking the languages more, Chinese will be this, and Japanese will be this.

Note 2: No, "Ngai Maito" is not a spelling error, but rather a Vietnamese name with a Japanese surname. More at the bottom.

Day Twenty-three.

This lasted for all of one second before two things happened: Fune noticed that Kakashi had disappeared and Ngai burst into tears. Fune decided then and there that seeing a grown man crying like that was one of the strangest things she had ever witnessed, especially when he scooped her up into an embrace while doing it. What further mystified her, was that none of the passerby gave more than a brief glance before walking on as if they had seen this countless times before and weren't phased by it any more. The woman-turned-child didn't know which was worse, the idea that it was a repeat occurrence to the point where others came to be immune to the strange awkwardness of it, or the fact that it was a common thing at all.

"My rival, what has happened to you?! You have shrunk! Is this a genjutsu?! A curse?! Do not fear, Konoha's Green Beast and your Rival, Ngai Maito is here! I will not let you down, Kakashi!" Ngai swore with utter sincerity, coming to the conclusion that his best chance of correcting the sudden dilemma was to take his best friend to the hospital to be checked out by professional medic nin. Then he took to the roof, knowing it to be the quickest route, which made Fune come to the random realization that he was the only 'superhero' that she had seen that actually looked like the superheroes she had known back home.

...This still didn't distract her from the fact that she was essentially being kidnapped. So, she did what any person in her position would do. She bit him.

Protesting loudly, Ngai stopped and attempted to detach Fune head from his arm without hurting her with little to no success. With his flailing and bellowing as well as Fune's growling and refusal to let go, she felt that they must have made quite a spectacle. Which they were. While Ngai was known for being much louder than the average — or, rather, most — ninja, this was noisy, even for him. Kakashi finally decided that this had gone on long enough.

It wasn't that he meant for this to happen, but when he sensed Ngai's presence incoming at high speeds when he least expected it, well, he panicked. Automatically using shunshin to escape to a short distance away, well out of range from Maito's Dynamic Entry. Of course, by the time he remembered Fune a split second later, Ngai was exchanging surprised glances with her… before bursting into over-the-top tears. It was all Kakashi could do to not burst out laughing from the look of bafflement on his little Fune-chan's face.

And, of course, Ngai's erroneous assumption that Fune was him. Was it really that beyond the scope of the imagination for him to have a kid? Did he honestly give that impression that he disliked children that much? While he did admit that he often didn't care for any of the snot-nosed brats that he had to put up with in the Academy or during the inane D-ranks his squad had to put up with when Rin and Obito first joined, that didn't necessarily mean he hated all children in general and would never want to put up with any of his own… But he guessed he could see where people got that impression.

"Gai, I would appreciated it if you released my daughter," Kakashi deadpanned, landing from his jump across the roofs to about a meter in front of the two. Fune released her grip on the jōnin's arm to immediately reach towards her father.

"Down," she demanded in Japanese, wriggling. "Down, now." Konoha's Green Beast complied, a grin crossing his face as Fune attached herself to Kakashi's leg like an urchin.

He crouched down to her level, also speaking in Japanese at her, "My sincerest apologies, Hatake-chan! How unyouthful it was of me to mistake you for my Eternal Rival when you are clearly a lovely little flower of the Hidden Leaf!" Fune narrowed her eyes at him as he continued to coo — for there was nothing else he could possibly be doing right now despite the volume of which he was doing it — at her.

Finally having enough of being patronized yet again, she deadpanned, "No." She batted Ngai's face away with her hand. "Stop, stop, stop."

"So hip and cool, just like her father," he griped theatrically before standing. His expression turning into a thoughtful one, brows drawn together seriously. The two adults regarded each other solemnly, with silent communication passing between the both of them. The question hanging in the air: if she was Kakashi's daughter, then who was the mother?

"She's Aoko's, then?" Ngai stated more than asked in Chinese, finally breaking the silence. 'Who else would it be?' He wondered to himself.

"Yes, she was found only recently… According to the reports, it's been theorized that the reason Fune didn't make it to the village completely was because the summon had been dismissed. There were no signs of a struggle." Left unsaid was the obvious, if the summon wasn't injured, killed, or the mission objective was incomplete, the only other reason why it would be dismissed was if the summoner was killed and there was no other summoner for the bond to fall back on. Aoko hadn't had an heir or a co-signer on the panther contract. There hadn't been anyone else.

"So it's been made official, then, her death?"

"They will be putting her name on the stone, yes," Kakashi answered quietly. "I'll be going there with Fune sometime next week…" A moment of silence passed before the Copy-Cat Ninja deliberately broke it by slightly changing the subject, "I will be sure to tell her how you thought Fune was me, though. She'll love that."

Ngai took a split second to react, giving a nod of the head so slight that it would have been missed if it wasn't looked for... or you weren't a ninja. He respected his friend's space, and backed away from the sensitive topic by playing along. He squawked, flailing. "That's hardly fair, Kakashi! What was I supposed to think, aliens?!"

Kakashi stared. "You and your aliens. Sometimes I wonder if your brain's been abducted by aliens."

"There you are with your hip and cool attitude," the green-clad teen accused, pointing straight at the half-lidded grey eye that stared so dispassionately at him. "This will not stand! I CHALLENGE YOU!"

The white-haired teen shrugged, before looking down at the toddler still clinging to his legs. "What do you think, Fune? Should I or shouldn't I?" He only got a perplexed look. "Eh?"

"..."

Kakashi sighed dramatically. "I suppose you're right... He won't go away otherwise," he joked before turning to his friend and straightening to his full height. "Maito Ngai, I accept your challenge."

"Another round? No cheating!"

"I would never," Kakashi gasped, placing a hand on his heart. "Your words wound me."

"...Kakashi…"

"Yeah, yeah, no cheating, I know. This is a contest purely won from skill and the 'flames of our youth', I remember." Lifting the leg that Fune was still clinging to as if she wasn't even there and placing it to the side, he got into position: squatting down slightly and clenching his fists before bending his arms at the elbow in the ready position. "Ready?"

"Yosh!" Ngai declared, his posture mimicking that of Kakashi's.

Simultaneously, they swung their bodies side-to-side in a jiggly dance, shouting, "Sai-sho wa guu! Jan. Ken. Pon!" Showing their hands, they declared 'rock' at the same time, resulting in a draw. They went again. "Ai-ko de-sho!" They showed their hands again, another draw. "Ai-ko de-sho!"

"Scissors!"

"Rock!"

They froze, staring at the draw, before Kakashi slumped in defeat while Ngai cheered. Fune stared at them like they both grew a second head. "You people are crazy," she mumbled to herself as she watched the two men's antics with narrowed eyes.

Day Thirty.

Today was going to be one of those days, I could just tell from how weighed down Dog-man seemed to be, a cloud of depression hovering over him. After that encounter with the retro superhero in a green jumpsuit and orange legwarmers, the week had slowly become more and more gloomy. Now, it seemed that everything had come to a head. Dog-man was up before I was and gave the impression that he hadn't slept, having instead remained awake all night.

What gave me this impression was how… organized everything was in the morning, as if he had hours to plan ahead and make the necessary preparations. With enough time leftover that he had obsessively went through and checked everything at least three times before being satisfied. For one thing, the whole place was clean, like, cleaner than usual to the point where it looked like a set from a 'Mr. Clean' commercial. Well, apart from the scent of food that filled all the rooms by the kitchen, despite the windows that were opened to air out the smells and heat from the cooking done.

Breakfast was already laid out with a vaster selection to choose from than usual. There was the traditional miso soup and rice, ham that was fried in soy sauce, sweet tamagoyaki, pickled vegetables and fish, and cold soba noodles with a dipping sauce. It seemed like there was a special occasion but I couldn't figure out what for. No matter how much I tried to puzzle it out during breakfast as Dog-man coaxed me into eating more than I normally would.

After the meal when I went to go brush my teeth while Dog-man cleared the table, I noticed a knapsack by the door. A clue that we were going somewhere, which would explain the big meal, to keep us full for a longer period of time since when we'd stop to have lunch was uncertain. I still didn't figure out what was going on until I was looking at the clothes that Dog-man had taken the time to set out for me: a plain black kimono-like top with black pleated pants. The foreboding feeling that something was off intensified.

'Are these… funeral clothes?' I wondered, heart sinking as I pulled them on solemnly, absently noticing a diamond-shaped crest with nine squares inside it sewn in the left shoulder. It was at this point that I realized that it was the best explanation for Dog-man's recent downturn in mood. Taking a closer look at what he was wearing only cemented the idea in my mind, an all-black — excluding the white crest — outfit similar to mine, instead of the usual dark navy blue sweats. While all of the clothes we owned were shades of grey, blue, and black — with the occasional, small splashes of color added here and there — we never wore all black before.

We walked to the funeral, if that was really what it was. There was nobody to view or a closed casket or even an urn. Just a memorial stone that was a similar shape to the blade of those knives that Dog-man owned. With the names that covered the surface of the huge structure and the black stone that looked like marble, I was reminded of the stone monuments that honored dead soldiers. Was there a war and news of this person's death just got announced? Or was the war already over and their death finally being honored? There was no way for me to ask, but even if I could, I wouldn't. That just wasn't the type of question you asked at a service like this.

There were maybe twenty people there in total. I recognized the retro superhero from before and spotted Mr. Badger standing at attention with a Mr. Bat on the outskirts of the group, but other than that, I didn't recognize anyone there. There were some people who stood out from the small crowd. I spotted a man with wicked looking scars, a lady with purple (!) hair, another lady with what looked like war paint on her face, and an elderly man in white robes with a funny-looking hat.

There were also three children there too whom I was grouped with. We were placed in an out of the way corner with coloring books, paper, and plenty of crayons to share among the four of us. Two of them were my age and the third was about five years older, looking abnormally somber for a probably-eight-year-old. Two of them looked like they could be related with their doll-like features, blue-black hair, and inky black eyes. The oldest one had hair just long enough to be put in a ponytail, while the younger had his hair in a short pixie cut. The last one had short, spiky brown hair and sharp brown eyes, eyebrows furrowed in a sullen pout.

They were pretty quiet, seeming to pick up the serious mood rather than merely being shy. I took the opportunity to watch the ceremony. The old man in the funny hat talked for a very short while before another man came in, placing his hand on the stone. His hand glowed blue and the sounds of grinding were heard as a name was carved into the stone. The whole process of the carving lasted maybe a minute, making the whole ceremony about three times that length. That part was short.

Afterwards, people talked quietly among themselves, most going over to Dog-man and talking briefly with him. Others went to the stone to study it for moment — paying their respects — before leaving. Some people glanced my way, scrutinizing me as if they were looking for something. A sign of some kind.

Eventually, a pretty woman with long, flowing blue-black hair came and took the two similar looking children: the probably-eight-year-old with the somber demeanor and the toddler, who waved goodbye. Awkwardly, I belatedly waved back at him, but I couldn't tell if he saw or not before he disappeared from sight. It was just me and the scowling toddler now, who was fiercely scribbling in his color book, managing to mostly stay within the lines. I glanced at my own untouched book and frowned before peeking at the Scowling One's. I flipped through the pages, confirming my own suspicions. It was all coming up ninjas and anything ninja related. Although there was also some sign language and superpowers thrown in for good measure, followed by the recurring snail symbol or a four-point star with a fan in the middle of it.

Actually, now that I thought about it, those two boys had that same white and red fan patch sewed on the left shoulder of their black kimono top. Maybe the fan was their family crest, like the diamond-and-squares crest belonged to Dog-man and I? If that was the case, were they, like, a noble or royal clan because their crest was inside that star in the coloring book? I had no idea and didn't have a way to find out at the moment.

Someone gently patted my head, breaking me from my thoughts and intense scrutiny of the coloring book. A woman with blonde hair done up into a bun and soft brown eyes, smiled kindly down at me. Her tanned hand gently tilting my chin this way and that as she studied my face. "Fune-chan has her facial structure," she remarked absently in Japanese. "But the rest of her looks are entirely yours, Kakashi." Dog-man made a faint sound of acknowledgement as he and the lady with war paint came to stand behind her.

"'Kaa-chan," the scowling boy said, a smile replacing his frown as he got up and hugged the leg of the blond woman tightly. Voice muffled, he asked, "We go now?"

"Kouki-kun," she scolded before sending an apologetic look at Dog-man who waved her off.

The scowling boy pouted at the rebuff before turning back to me and began to gather up his coloring books and other supplies. Hurriedly, I helped as much as I could, holding his knapsack open so all he had to do was place everything inside before I zipped it up for him. "Thanks," he mumbled before taking it and making a bee-line back to his mother.

The blonde lady had rounded directly on Dog-man, using a mothering-tone as she spoke, "You take care of yourself, Kakashi. I mean it. Fune-chan needs you in the present, not wallowing in the past, alright? If you need anything, Kouki and I will be there." Her piece said, she took her son's hand and started home. Their absence making me notice quite suddenly that there was only the three of us now: me, Dog-man, and the war-paint lady.

There was a pause as the two adults were lost in thought before she gently reached out and pulled Dog-man's head to her shoulder in a soft embrace. He froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around her waist, hands gripping the back of her shirt. No words were spoken, but he soon began shaking, his grip on her tightening before all of Dog-man's well-maintained control broke, sobbing into the lady's shoulder and letting out all the frustration, pain, and grief that he must've been holding in check for who knew how long.

I was in shock. The constant source of strength who seemed unshakable — even in my worst of nights and in his worst of nights — broke down completely. He's only human, you might say. Of course, he would show weakness once in a while. But you don't understand; up until now, Dog-man never gave any indication of grief or sorrow beyond being moody this week, let alone cry. To see a capable man like that burst into tears was beyond unsettling; it was both scary and heart-wrenching.

I caught myself. '"Man",' I repeated to myself in horror. 'No, Dog-man's younger than I am... was, a teenager. A teenaged, single parent on his own.' It was so easy to make the mistake of considering him an adult that was in his early twenties, so very easy. Easy to overlook and easy to forget that he was just a kid like me who had to grow up too soon and too fast. I had forgotten to the point where seeing him show uninhibited emotion like this threw me into turmoil, panic. I wanted — no, needed — to comfort him, just like he did for me after every nightmare or flashback, and believe me, there were a lot.

Without any more need for debate, I rushed over and hugged his leg tightly, the only part of him that I could really reach. "Daijobu," I murmured quietly, carefully patting his leg. "Daijobu." The very phrase that he would say to me in comfort. I didn't have the vocabulary to go much beyond that in the way of offering any consolation. I don't think it helped any.

The painted lady eased the two of them down into the grass before pulling me into the hug, making me be sandwiched between the two of them. While I don't mind physical contact, this was a bit too, eh, personal and intimate — her boobs were suffocating me. I shifted and managed to free my face, leaving the temporary distraction of my impending death by smothering useless. My throat swelled in pity and sympathetic grief. I didn't know who passed away, didn't even know if it was a man or woman, but seeing how deeply it affected Dog-man, hurt me too. There was no way for me to ask who it was and I definitely wouldn't even if I could — that would be a cruel thing to ask — but that didn't stop me from wondering.

Was it a relative? Or a lover? I couldn't say, but there was this woman here too… Maybe she was Dog-man's girlfriend? Or were they just friends? In-laws? I couldn't tell. And as far as relatives went, if home was really a compound, Dog-man might not have any family left besides me now. And if I was right about there being a war, the last living remnant might have died in battle. There was so many maybes and no way to answer them. Sometimes, especially now, I was sick of the language barrier.

It might be selfish of me to think so, but at least with the barrier, I have an excuse to not being able to offer any 'words of comfort'. Although, the painted lady had only uttered one thing — "I miss her too." — during the whole time we sat there, up until Dog-man and war paint lady's tears had died down. She stood up with me on her hip — to this day, I never figured out how she had so smoothly placed me there without me noticing until it was too late to escape — and began to pick up what remained to be put away into the knapsack. When she made to pick up the backpack too— all while I was still perched securely on her hip! — Dog-man stopped her.

"Wait," he said quietly, taking the bag from her. He removed a sizable plate of what looked like chocolate cinnamon buns covered in powdered sugar instead of frosting, followed by a large bottle of what looked like booze and a smaller bottle of something else. I squinted at him. Was this what they called an 'offering'?

To my surprise, he brought out three smaller portions for himself, the war paint lady, and me. He placed the large plate filled the look-alike buns by the memorial stone and poured a saucer of the booze to place beside the plate. He sat the smaller bottle next to me, revealing it to be what looked like a kid-friendly drink… Which I could not figure out how to open whatsoever. Why did they have to make it so complicated?! I should not have to use this many brain cells to figure out how to open a stupid bottle! And was that a marble?! Just what the heck was this?!

Eventually, Dog-man took pity on me and my pathetic struggling, opening it with ease at such an angle where I couldn't see exactly how he did it. He didn't do that on purpose, he was just so tall… But it didn't matter, the drink was open now, and it really became evident to me, then, just how valiantly I was trying to avoid thinking about how Dog-man's grief over his loss mirrored mine with my sister's… Someone who I hadn't thought about in a long time. I hadn't forgotten about her — never her — but until now, I've had so many distractions that I didn't have to dwell on it, about what had happened. And honestly? I didn't want to.

I didn't want to remember the Flood that swept over the whole world because scientists had disturbed some ancient thing that had been laying dominant for countless ages in the chill of Antarctica. Some ancient force like a giant volcano or rift capable of making earthquakes so severe that resulting tsunamis were as big as the Empire State building, if not taller. That lower continents became half sunk and icebergs the size of countries were sent adrift. The rumors and stories that flew about some monster of unimaginable portions — the Kraken, Godzilla, and King Kong all rolled into one with a strong helping of ugly, just as credible as UFOs, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster. Of Mother Nature finally fighting back. The Government blaming Global Warming on the extreme temperature changes and natural disasters. The riots and mass evacs…

There not being enough room on the planes.

Not enough time to drive away before the Flood of the Great Lakes reached us.

Three Days, only three days… Our Last Days…

Day Thirty-Three.

Oba-chan — otherwise known as war paint lady — had stayed with us for the past few days. Mostly, I think, to keep watch over Dog-man and to help with the grieving process. By this point, I'm quite sure she's a family member of the deceased, who might have been either Dog-man's wife or girlfriend. I mean, Oba-chan acted like she was a sister to Dog-man, not someone who was intimate in that sense of the word with him. And because they looked nothing alike, well… It was a leap of faith based on what limited clues I could observe and get.

Oba-chan had taken over nearly everything in the house and refused to let Dog-man help. Even going so far as to forcibly sit him down on the couch and place me on his lap like a human paper weight while she went back to doing the laundry. She mother-henned the both of us and it almost felt like a sleepover while she was here — a nest of blankets, pillows, and futons in one of those large empty rooms with the tatami mat floors. At first, I thought it would be awkward, the three of us essentially cuddling with me stuck in the middle, but instead, it felt both safe and comforting… Almost faintly familiar as a flash of long black hair and haunting blue eyes gazed back at me, glowing out of the shadows that hid her — because she could be nothing else but female — face from view.

Visions like that had been increasing in frequency. Some from home and others… Not. This time, Oba-chan was the one to comfort me, humming a tune that I had heard once long ago but couldn't place. It was easy to sleep. I didn't have any nightmares during the two nights she was here and neither did Dog-man.

I grew somewhat dependent on the reassurance that her mere presence so easily provided me, like it was filling in a hole that I never really realized was there until attention had been brought on it. She even took the time to teach me what must have been her name, something that not even Dog-man had done yet. Understandably, I was disappointed when she made the motions of preparing to leave. The nest we had been sleeping in was washed and all the materials in it being properly replaced. She was making one final big meal that could easily feed about fifteen people — I say that with utter sincerity — likely with the intent to leave us plenty of leftovers, rightly assuming that Dog-man was a little culinary-challenged. She left various little notes plastered around the house randomly, all of them held up by an unseen force, as reminders. Oba-chan removed the extra toothbrush and clothes she used, packing them away.

All of it was evidence of her presence and proof that she would be removing herself from our immediate lives. Fortunately, for whatever reason, Oba-chan didn't instantly leave the moment she was done with her preparations, despite all her behavior that indicated that she was expecting or waiting for something — perhaps a dismissal or for Dog-man to finally start the goodbyes?

We learned what it was she was waiting for not long after it had turned to ten past noon. Dog-man's head jerked up and toward the door where there came a — very loud — knock about half a minute later. He gave a long side-eyed look to Oba-chan, which she ignored in favor of getting up to answer the door, giving him a chance to replace his little black mask — because, apparently, the war-paint lady was an exception to that rule like I was. Curiously, I padded after the both of them to see who was at the door, but I had a pretty good idea already. That booming voice was unmistakable after all.

But still, it was just that we seldom had any visitors during my time here. Like, it's pretty much just been Oba-chan who ever visited the estate. Probably because the whole place was empty and — as far as I knew — Dog-man didn't have any neighbors. I don't think that we even got a mailman or anything else like that, either.

Oba-chan was already talking to the person at the door which was revealed to be retro man in all his spandex glory with a rather large box covered in decorative paper. War-paint lady let him in and he immediately went over to Dog-man, foisting the large box into my caretaker's arms. Suspiciously, he asked, "What is this for, Gai?"

"A surprise, Eternal Rival! A glorious occasion to be had and enjoyed among friends with the intention of rekindling your dampened flames of Youth! Worry not, Kakashi, the winter is ending and spring is coming!" Retro man declared, slapping Dog-man on the back before going back to the door to take the bag out of the lady-who-was-standing-by-war-paint-lady's hands. "Rei-pyon! I will take that for you!" Then he breezed past Dog-man and down the hallway to the living room.

"Be careful with that, Hot Stuff," the lady warned, turning her face to look in the direction retro man disappeared in, revealing the other side of her face which was horrifically scarred. The right side of her face had an old burn scar that stretched from upper corner of her forehead down at a slightly diagonal angle to her chin and lower jawbone. There were four separate rows of the burns, like someone had fingers made of fire and slashed them down her face. There was even a small mark on the bridge of her nose as if the thumb of the hand of fire nicked it slightly. Her right eye was still there, surprisingly, just lighter in color, the intense golden color that her left eye had being dimmed down to a fainter yellow-ish hue. Her long black hair was pinned up in a ballerina-esque bun.

Dog-man made a face and crossed his arms as he stared down Oba-chan who was deflecting his baleful look with ease, chattering cheerfully with the scarred lady. On their way past, the scarred lady picked me up and Dog-man pulled Oba-chan to the side, probably to ask for an explanation as he was just as surprised by these visitors as I was. My current handler took a seat on the couch with me in her lap and the two of us watched as retro man set up what looked like a banner with a sense of gusto that was almost uncalled for, for such a small task.

He hadn't changed much since I last saw him. Still had the appearance that reminded me of Bruce Lee with his bowl haircut, tanned skin, outrageously fit physique, and those weird poses that made no sense and had no purpose but to baffle everyone in the immediate vicinity. The only thing I couldn't confirm to complete the comparison was the beast-level skill in martial arts, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he was, considering he was a superhero and all. You certainly didn't get a body like that from dieting and sporadic exercising. And, of course, there was his spandex outfit. I did notice that he had that snail design from the coloring book on his belt, though. Was that the symbol for this place's version of the Justice League?

As I contemplated this, there came another knock on the door.

Currently, Kakashi had the sneaking suspicion that this had all been planned from the start. He wasn't sure who's idea it was to begin with — although he suspected that Ngai was the one who originally revealed Fune's existence to their peers and that one thing had merely led to another. Obviously, Kozō-chan took an affirmative action in deciding for herself to watch over him and make sure he didn't do the very thing Yui had warned him not to do. She just had the secondary motive of being the inside agent so the rest had an access point to an otherwise inaccessible fortress… Well, inaccessible if they continued to go about entering in the straightforward and somewhat polite manner that they were.

He had his suspicions after Tenzō joined in on the mix, as he did end up explaining after a little guilt tripping on Kakashi's part. It was nice to know that it would work for other things than just getting his kōhai to sometimes foot the bill. Apparently, the purpose of this 'surprise' was threefold: celebrate Fune's belated first birthday, congratulate Kakashi on becoming a father, and to remind Kakashi that he should look to the future and not always reflect on the past.

It was at this moment that the teen realized that he should quit while he was still ahead, as there wouldn't be a way to prevent or avoid the impromptu party — and honestly, there was a part of him that was looking forward to and grateful for it. The other four adults that were currently present were just relieved that he wasn't fighting social interaction like he usually did. Part of it might have been because they were, in a way, holding his daughter hostage, but the end justified the means.

Speaking of his daughter, she was currently staring intently at Tenzō as Rei held her. Kakashi briefly wondered if she recognized something about the man from when she met him as Wolverine. Did small children even remember that long? He would have to ask Inoichi when he arrived, since according to the others, the Yamanaka was one of about eight more visitors.

The ex-Root member took Fune from Rei arms and held her instead. He had taken to petting Fune's head like a small dog and — instead of the disgruntled expression Kakashi had been expecting — she let out a delighted sounding coo, relaxing against Tenzō with a look of utter contentment. His kōhai had a pleased expression on his face before he took a better look her appearance, which made a humored expression cross it. He remarked, "It's rather… surprising how much the two of you look alike, Senpai. I wonder if she would exactly like you if we added a mask and a hitai-ate." It was meant as a joke but the moment Ngai made a choking sound, Kakashi just knew that this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

"Well, actually, Gai already saw the result of that and mistook Fune-chan for me —"

"— I didn't know you had a child, Kakashi! It was a simple mistake —"

"— Panicked and thought I was under a curse —"

"— Well, what else was I supposed to think —"

"— And tried to take her to the hospital only for her to bite him —"

"— Her teeth were very sharp! And she has the grip of a vise —"

The lively narration of the encounter was interrupted by another knock at the door, fortunately enough for Ngai, who had been saved not by the bell but by Inoichi Yamanaka, Ino Yamanka, and Ibiki Morino. Another two wrapped boxes were added to the small pile. "I wasn't quite sure what to bring," the Head of Interrogations admitted. "So I let Ino-chan decide."

"Mine is meant more for you than the kid," Ibiki added. "You would make better use of it."

"You really didn't have to," Kakashi remarked, watching Ino toddle over to where Tenzō and Fune were seated on the floor by the couch. "I doubt Fune-chan would have noticed."

"Hello," Ino giggled with a tiny wave which Fune shyly returned before burying her face in Tenzō's shoulder.

"At this age, it's more for the adults than anything," Inoichi agreed before nodding at the only current occupant on the couch. "Good to see you, Rei-san."

"Likewise, Inoichi-san. How's Noriko-san been doing since I last visited?"

"The shop has been keeping her more than a little busy with the Harvest Moon festival coming up soon and everyone buying autumn flowers and pampas grass. Actually, she's working now and apologizes for not being able to come."

Kakashi waved it off, dryly stating, "Considering that I wasn't expecting anyone to come today, let alone there being a party of any kind, it's fine." And it really was fine. The teen ANBU felt content as he observed Rei going to help his teammate in the kitchen, half-listened to Ibiki and Ngai discuss about the last prisoner report that the Green Beast had turned with certain vocabulary being used, and participated in a conversation between himself, Inoichi, and Tenzō concerning the memory of small children as well as general development. Something that, admittedly, both Kakashi and Tenzō knew little of.

Apparently, while it wasn't generally common, young children Fune's age could recognize a person's voice that they met about a month ago. In high stress situations, they could even imprint on people who provide comfort to them. While that explained how Fune took a liking to Kakashi back when she only knew him as the ANBU Dog, this meant that she had a good enough memory to connect Tenzō's voice with that of the ANBU Wolverine as she hadn't seen Wolverine take off his mask. Then there was also the argument of scent being a contributing factor, as young children — especially those whose parents have a strong, dog-like sense of smell whether because they are a summoner or they're an Inuzuka — have a strong scent memory to scents that are related to strong memories or emotions. So there was a possibility that she recognized Tenzō's scent as well. Both were theories that Kakashi would test at a later time, memory recall and sense of smell.

At some point, Yui with her son, Kouki, and Mikoto with her two sons, Itachi and Sasuke, arrived. The three boys took to joining the two girls, leaving Tenzō utterly surrounded by children. Ino and Itachi were on either side of him, with Sasuke sitting half on his brother's lap and half on Tenzō's. Fune had moved so that she was seated in the middle of the Wood-user's lap like she was in a chair. And Kouki had taken to slumping over Tenzō's shoulder from his perch on the couch behind the — officially — chūnin. This left Kakashi with the humorous image of a cat lady draped with felines.

After exchanging pleasantries, the two mothers congregated to the kitchen to join the other two kunoichi where Kakashi could hear chatter and delighted laughter. Currently in the living room where he was, someone had started telling that story about one of the more eccentric shinobi who had a tendency to burrow holes to sleep in when on long missions, and how, during an ambush, one of the enemy ninja fell right to the hole, only to land in the figurative lion's den.

While a debate about the strangest mission sleeping habits began to develop — Kakashi volunteering the "bed of needles" sleeping arrangement involving countless senbon that he saw a foreign shinobi rest in — the cloud of children took to running around the house, leaving Tenzō looking faintly disappointed under the mask of stoicism. The eldest Hatake dearly hoped that someone took a picture of the previous seating arrangement of the children. It would make for terrific blackmail or a bribe depending on the circumstances.

Smirking at the thought, he braved the kitchen in search of some early snacks. After all, if he was going to be the host of this unexpected party then at least he could snitch some food before it went out on the table. Mikoto, Yui, and Rei were leaning against the cabinets, discussing the benefits and drawbacks of the different types of ninja wire while Kozō-chan added the gomashio to the sekihan. Speaking of the red bean rice, there was a particularly delectable-looking plate of tsukimi dango sitting innocently nearby the pot. Kakashi calculated the risk versus the reward, and ultimately decided it was worth it.

His hand flashed out to snag one of the dango, only for a wooden spoon to whack him on the incriminating hand. Retracting the wounded appendage, Kakashi did a mock-pout, "But-But Kozō-chan —"

"No," she interrupted, utterly unmoved from the pitiful look he gave her. "You can wait with everyone else."

Mikoto snickered, "Looks like you trained him well, Kozō-chan."

The brunette narrowed her eyes and brandished the wooden spoon at the Uchiha, her mock-scowl making her clan markings stand out starkly, "Don't you start, too. It just encourages him."

Yui snickered before turning to the white-haired teen. "Why don't you take this out to the others? The food should be done pretty soon anyway." Aoko's best friend handed him a tray with several cups of tea on it. Realizing that he was currently unlikely to snitch a snack in the near future until it was time to actually eat the meal, Kakashi slumped in defeat and skulked out of the kitchen. He set the tray on the low table before taking a seat on the floor next to Tenzō and taking a cup for himself.

Of course, it was about this time when one Anko Mitarashi made her grand entrance, bursting through the sliding pouch door that lead to the outside garden. "Alright, I made it! Now we can get this party started!" Her loud outburst and kicking open the door made all five children let out 'eep's' of varying volume, and Fune even went so far as to dive behind the couch. Idly, Kakashi watched as Kouki and Sasuke joined her behind it in the attempt to coax her back out when nothing further happened. Itachi stood guard watchfully by the 'entrance' to the couch while Ino ducked her head behind it to add her input without actually crawling behind the furniture. The purple-haired teen took stock of who was in the room and groaned, "Ugh, I'm the last one? This sucks!"

"It's not a problem," Kakashi told her mildly. "I wasn't expecting one to happen at all, so it hardly matters if you're a little late."

"I did tell you that you should have come with me and Inoichi," Ibiki grumbled. "Stubborn brat."

"Oh, butt out, old man. At least I got here before the food was served, and besides, I needed to find the perfect thing to get for a mini-Hatake pipsqueak," Anko brushed off before tossing a small box at Kakashi which he caught deftly. "There, add that to the pile, yeah?"

"Thanks," he told her and placed it on the modest pile of wrapped gifts. Then he suggested before a bicker-fest could break out, "I believe the food is about done, anyway. Why don't we head over to the dining room..." As the other adults stood up and began to shuffle out of the room, the teen ANBU reached over the back of the couch and pulled Fune up with ease, wherein the two boys behind the couch and his little girl let out squeals of surprise. "Come on," he told them as the rest crawled out from the hiding spot. "Time to eat."

And what a spread it was. Tonkatsu with shredded cabbage, a small pot of curry on the side as an option to be eaten on the tonkatsu, his favorite eggplant miso soup, some tsukemono, and, of course, sekihan as it wouldn't be a celebration without it. The tsukimi dango for dessert were a nice touch, as it was a gentle reminder of the upcoming festival.

Having some of his close friends and people who were close to Aoko being here together with him, made Kakashi happier than he had been all week since the stone carving ceremony and the reminder he had gotten from the Hokage... But he didn't forget what he was called to do and now was the time to shift gears, return to an ANBU mindset. Kozō-chan had already done so much, so Kakashi couldn't ask her, but there was one other person he knew he could ask. He approached Yui when they had a short moment alone in the kitchen, putting away the dishes. "Yui, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you watch Fune for a day? I'm back on the roster."

So, Gai's dad in canon is Maito Duy... Duy is a Vietnamese name, so it figures that Gai would also be Vietnamese in heritage but be named accordingly. So a found a name similar to his canon one: Ngai. Maito was originally a dual surname, Mai-To, back in the Warring Clan Era, but just like in American history where immigrant names were misinterpreted and written down wrong or "simplified" so too happened to a lot of people during the founding of Konoha.

Mai-To became Maito. And Shen-Yu (chinese) became Senju. And Yuja (korean) became Hyūga. A lot of modifications and messing with canon will happen in the future. I'll draw attention to it and explain more as time goes on. It's alllll AU, baby.

Vocabulary:

Shunshin – Body Flicker technique. Appears as if the ninja teleported, usually a puff of smoke or other distractions (such as leaves) will mask their movement in this technique.

Yosh – An interjection of enthusiasm/excitement. Similar to "alright/all right!".

Saisho wa guu – Literal translation is "starting with rock" in the popular game of "Janken".

Janken – Literally means "two fists". Japanese version of "Rock Paper Scissors". If there is ever a clash of opinion, usually this game is utilized to avoid a potentially embarrassing or awkward situation.

Pon – An onomatopoeiac word (basically, a sound effect) for a toss or throw.

Aiko desho – Basically means "It's a draw". Aiko means "draw" while sho is another onomatopoeiac word that doesn't really have a direct translation into English.

Tamagoyaki – It's basically a rolled omelet. I've made it a few times myself and let me tell you, it's tricky to make in a skillet. The only difference in the ingredients from a regular omelet is that sugar and/or soysauce can be added to the beaten egg. I personally just add sugar into the actual mixture and if I feel like it, will grease the pan with soy sauce, but I usually only grease the pan with soy sauce afterwards and then cook the spam in it. A nice contrast in the sweet egg and the salted meat.

'Kaa-chan - Okaa (or 'kaa) is mom. Okaa-san/'Kaa-san would be more reserved than the more cutesy okaa-chan/'kaa-chan.

Daijoubu – I've seen the translation be flipped between "it's alright" and "it's okay", but the general meaning is the same.

Oba-chan – Oba (or simply "ba") is aunt, but depending on the suffix, the nuance and connotation may change slightly. With a "san" added, it's a more reserved manner of address, might be used to call out to a middle aged woman you are already familiar with. With a "chan" added, it's more cutesy, similar to saying "auntie", usually would only say this to someone if you are young, they prefer being called that, or you are close to them.

-pyon – An honorific that, when used, indicates that the speaker is being very cutesy/sweet/lovey-dovey with the person he or she is addressing.

Kozō – Someone with particularly nimble fingers. Accepted translation is a pickpocket.

Kōhai – Underclassmen, lower seniority than the speaker. Almost entirely used as a standalone honorific, since it is considered rude to attach the term to a name.

Senpai – Mentor or senior. Can be used as a standalone honorific or as an attachment.

Hitai-ate – Literal means "forehead protector" but is just an over glorified head band with a village symbol on a metal plate and lots of connotation behind it.

Gomashio – Basically a grounded mixture of sesame seeds and salt.

Sekihan – A traditional Japanese dish. It is sticky rice steamed with adzuki beans, which give a reddish color to the rice. Often served on special occasions throughout the year, like birthdays, weddings, and some holidays, such as Shichi-Go-San. Sekihan is so strongly connected with celebrations that the phrase "Let's have sekihan" has acquired the meaning "Let's celebrate." Probably because of its red color, the symbol of happiness in Japan.

Tsukimi dango – Rice dumplings that are especially made for the holiday "O-Tsukimi", the Harvest Moon Festival. On that day, they are given as an offering to the moon with pumpkin and chestnuts. But they can be eaten too.

Tonkatsu – Breaded, deep-fried pork cutlet that's usually served with shredded cabbage. I like adding the Bulldog brand vegetable & fruit tonkatsu sauce.

Tsukemono – Japanese preserved vegetables (usually pickled in salt, brine, or a bed of rice bran). They can be served with rice as a side dish.

The snail symbol is actually the Konoha leaf symbol. Admit it, you thought it was a snail too back when you first saw it.

The fan inside the four-point star is actually the symbol for the Konoha police force, but Fune doesn't know this. She just noticed the fan that's the crest for the Uchiha clan is the same as the fan for the police force. She just made the erroneous guess of it meaning the Uchiha are a noble or royal clan. Which they aren't. Despite what some would like to think.

The "chocolate cinnamon buns with powdered sugar" is a variation of a dessert known as babka.

The bottle Fune mentioned is a popular soda drink called 'Ramune'. It comes in various flavors and is recommended that an adult open the drink for the child (or just people who are incapable of following the instructions on the bottle).

A/N: Well, there you have it. Kakashi is finally off of paternity leave, and Fune needs babysitters for the time being. Next chapter will be about her time interacting with other people besides just Kakashi. And maybe we will get to learn a little more about war-paint lady/ Oba-chan/ Kozō-chan. Any theories or guesses? I'm interested.

And, yes, Fune has avoidance issues and would rather not deal with the looming elephant in the room. But I did throw you lot a bone with that paragraph and more than a few hints. Hopefully that should tide you all over until we get to that point in the story.