It was really difficult for Oikawa to go back to his house after he was released from the hospital. Even when Iwaizumi was with him, he froze at the front door and just stared inside the shady house for a moment. He was afraid, it showed from his face, and Iwaizumi noticed it instantly.
"It's okay", he promised and step in to the hallway, switching the lights on. "No one is here. You can go sit in the couch, I'll get the bags and stuff."
"No", Oikawa gasped. "I'll stay with you." He didn't want to be alone, not even for a slight moment. The house that had felt safe and warm for these two years he had lived there was now cold and threatening. It was like someone was hiding in that house, like the assassins were back and wanted revenge. Iwaizumi had told him what happened at the headquarters, but that didn't lessen his nervousness.
"As you wish." Iwaizumi's answer was just a quiet sigh, but he didn't want to argue with Oikawa. Not about this. He understood completely why the other brunet felt that way – he would have been in the same situation if danger wouldn't have been part of his daily life for two years. He felt bad that Oikawa had to fear his own house.
"…It's not your job to pamper me anyway, Iwa-chan", Oikawa muttered, breaking the silence between them. He felt kind of guilty because Iwaizumi couldn't get a proper job because of him. "I'm not that helpless."
"I'm your carer, remember?" Iwaizumi sneered. "Of course I have to pamper you." Oikawa had still aftermaths of the poisoning he had gotten from the drugs, so he needed someone to take care of him since his parents worked out of the country. The biggest thing alongside the panic attacks was that his legs sometimes just gave up. They became numb and feeble, to the point he couldn't stand anymore. The seizures usually lasted for few minutes, but that was more than enough – if Oikawa was alone when that happened, it led to a panic attack. The doctor had said that the panic attacks were the most dangerous thing for Oikawa right now, he was so near of breaking apart completely. He got to borrow a wheel chair from the hospital until he would be better – although no one knew if he ever would be. The wheel chair was for the times when Iwaizumi wasn't home or they wanted to go shopping. Oikawa still went to university like nothing had happened, but now Iwaizumi was with him. Iwaizumi wasn't a student, but the principal had given him a special permission to attend the classes as Oikawa's carer. Luckily the police had left them be when they got a new case to investigate. They didn't get anything out of the two boys anyway, since Oikawa was still too unstable to talk about it to strangers and Iwaizumi told that he had hit his head and didn't remember anything. The lucky thing was that Oikawa lived in a rather small city, so the police didn't have time to spend in cases that seemed hopeless. They just assumed that Oikawa and Iwaizumi had taken the drugs themselves. Iwaizumi would have been ready to tell the truth, but Oikawa needed him right now, so he couldn't leave him alone.
They carried the bags and the wheel chair inside, and after they had put them to their own places, Oikawa collapsed to the coach. His legs were aching and the world was slowly spinning in his head.
"God, it really feels strange to be here again", he sighed. He was now a little better, the nervousness usually went away in ten minutes, but the tenseness hadn't left his shoulders. "I'm so exhausted. Can you imagine, Iwa-chan? I just walked more that I had in these three weeks altogether!"
"Stop whining", Iwaizumi snorted. "You should be happy that you can walk. I'll make some food, so rest up a bit."
"Yea." Oikawa didn't argue, because right now he felt safe. He could just call Iwaizumi if the room started to feel ominous. He didn't want to cling to Iwaizumi, he wanted to live as normally as possible. Otherwise Iwaizumi would get annoyed and leave him.
"Hey Iwa!" he called out. "I'll go to school tomorrow, right? And you too?"
"If you feel like it", he heard an answer from the kitchen. "And of course I will come with you."
"You better wear something stylish", Oikawa teased. "Otherwise you would look like a vagabond. Do you even know how scary you look with your scars?"
"I'd rather look scary than like an alien, Shittykawa."
"Mean! Do you even have a formal attire?"
"Nope, but I guess a blouse and jeans will do. I'm not a student after all. Do you have any tolerable neckties?"
"You can borrow one for now, but we really should go to buy you some normal clothes."
"My clothes are normal!"
Oikawa giggled and closed his eyes for a moment. "Should we go shopping tomorrow after school? We could visit Makki and Mattsun too, they live nearby a local shopping centre. It's been almost a week since I last saw them", he suggested.
"Fine with me."
"Is food ready yet?"
"It's been barely ten minutes, idiot."
"But I am hungry!"
"Just deal with it then."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Oikawa took every single opportunity to get Iwaizumi to carry him at school. He didn't have enough strength to go up the stairs, so instead of forcing himself to do so, he asked Iwaizumi to help. The shorter brunet carried him all the way upstairs without a single complaint, ignoring the glazes and stares they got from the other students. Oikawa simply loved to rest on Iwaizumi's back, nuzzling his nose on his boyfriend's neck. He didn't use that chance too often, though, only when he really needed to. He still didn't want to bother Iwaizumi too much, but at the school he wanted to stay close to him. Although Iwaizumi was a little bit shorter than Oikawa, he was way scarier. The other students didn't come to talk to Oikawa as often as before the incident, and Oikawa didn't really know if it was because of Iwaizumi or just because he had just been at the hospital for a long time and others didn't want to seem meddlesome. Iwaizumi didn't mind staying still when Oikawa talked to others, though, he just took the opportunity to look around. The school was really modern and high-class. It was totally a place where Oikawa could enjoy himself.
"Oikawa-san!" a group of fangirls came to talk to Oikawa, and Iwaizumi took a few steps back. Oikawa glazed his boyfriend quickly, but then gave his attention to the girls.
"Hey", he greeted with a smile on his face. "It's good to see you again."
"Are you sure you are okay?" one of the girls, Yuki asked with a worried tone in her voice. "Everyone was so worried. What happened?" Iwaizumi tensed a bit, and so did Oikawa. It would be rude to just refuse of telling, but what else Oikawa could do without a risk of losing his calm? Luckily the other girls saved the situation.
"Yuki, that's a rude thing to ask!" the black-haired girl, Shelia scolded. "It's personal! Hope it didn't bother you, Oikawa-san. You don't have to tell if you don't want to."
"Thank you, Shelia", Oikawa thanked. "It's okay, Yuki, but I would rather avoid that question."
"I'm sorry!" Yuki gasped and bowed.
"I said it's okay", Oikawa reassured. "And to your other question, I'm fine, thanks. It's cute that you all are brave enough to come talk to me when my carer looks like that", he teasingly beckoned towards Iwaizumi. "He looks scary, but is actually pretty nice. He's my friend from high school."
"You have a carer?"
"Yea, I still have troubles with stairs and stuff like that", Oikawa explained. "It's okay though. He's so strong that he can carry me like it's nothing."
Iwaizumi listened to their conversation but didn't look at them. He cursed Oikawa in his mind. Why he had to turn the attention to Iwaizumi and even praise him like that? He sounded like a fanboy himself. "Oi, Tooru, you'll be late from class", he called out with a bored expression on his face.
"Oh, right. See you later, ladies." Oikawa flashed his usual peace sign and hurried to Iwaizumi. They left to the next class side by side.
In the middle of the class Iwaizumi got a call from Oikawa's mother. He assumed it to be one of the usual calls, where she just asked how Oikawa was doing. Still he didn't want to ignore the call, so he went outside the classroom, leaving Oikawa to listen the lesson. Oikawa tried to concentrate to what the lecturer was saying, but a little feeling of nervousness started to throb in the back of his head. He had been in this classroom for countless times and knew almost every student here. Nonetheless he felt threatened and unsafe when Iwaizumi wasn't by his side. He was nowadays scared of many things unrelated to each other – dark, small rooms; huge, echoing halls; muscular, scarred men besides Iwaizumi; and most of all being without Iwaizumi. He took a deep breath and tried to tell himself that he was being too clingy, that he shouldn't be this childish. The speaker's voice started to become unclear in his ears, and he could hear his own breathing getting faster and more difficult. It's okay, he assured to himself. Nothing's going to happen.
"Is everything okay?" He flinched when the student named Arya, who sat next to him, asked.
"Yea", he managed to answer. "Everything's completely fine." On that moment Iwaizumi came back to class, and when he saw how tense Oikawa was, he hurried back to his side.
"Hey now, calm down", he whispered and rubbed his hand on circles on Oikawa's back. "This room is completely safe."
"I know that", Oikawa murmured, leaning on his hands and trying to catch his breath again. "It's completely safe." Iwaizumi glazed to Arya, who looked worried and raised her brows, asking him what was wrong. It's fine, nothing serious, Iwaizumi mouthed to her and kept petting Oikawa's back. Oikawa had now calmed down a bit and only felt frustrated. How was he supposed to live a normal life if he was this unstable?
"Fuck", Oikawa snarled when they got out of the class. "I'm so pathetic."
"It's okay", Iwaizumi assured. "No one assumes you to be completely fine yet. Just don't overthink it."
"How am I supposed to not overthink it?" Oikawa murmured. "I'm so helpless. How am I supposed to live a normal life anyway?"
"You'll be able to do that in due course", Iwaizumi said. The silence fell between them while they went down the stairway. Oikawa was so frustrated that he didn't recognize the odd feeling in his legs, the same he was now used to feel a few times a day. First the sense of touch vanished, and a slight moment after that Oikawa realized something was wrong.
"Shit", he whispered to himself. "Not now." But he couldn't help it. "Iwa-" he gasped when he stepped to the next step and his leg gave up. He fell onwards, but Iwaizumi gripped the back of his shirt and didn't let him fall, shoving the other students out of the way. He quickly grabbed Oikawa's waist before the other brunet would collapse, and pulled him back, letting him sit down on the stair step.
"You okay?" Iwaizumi asked startled. "For real, Oikawa, you should say earlier-" He left his sentence unfinished when he saw Oikawa's expression. His hands were shaking and he clearly was about to cry.
"I didn't… recognize it", he muttered and clenched his fists. "Sorry."
"It's nothing", Iwaizumi sighed and glazed the other students who had left to stare them. "What are you all looking at? It's none of your business." With that, the group quickly went on, and soon the stairway was empty.
"We should go too", Iwaizumi said softly and crouched down. "Get on." Oikawa reached to Iwaizumi's shoulders and gripped his hands around him. The shorter brunet grabbed his legs to keep him from falling, stood up and walked the remaining stairs down.
"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan", Oikawa muttered. "I should have said earlier, but I just…"
"It's okay as I said already", Iwaizumi sighed. "Look, Tooru, you don't have to be perfect. If you need help, just ask. I don't mind taking care of you, and you shouldn't feel self-pity of that. You are a convalescent, after all. No one can understand the pain and fear you feel, not even me. You have the right to feel weak. It's alright and part of the recovering. Just don't blame yourself, okay?" Oikawa pushed his face against Iwaizumi's neck, and he could feel how the tears started streaming.
"Okay."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Try this one." Oikawa took a classy blouse from the shelf and gave it to Iwaizumi. "It's way better than your old one. Blue suits you better than grey."
"Fine, I'll try it", Iwaizumi sighed. "But I need a bigger size. I have wide shoulders, ya know?"
For a change, Oikawa's fashion sense was right. Blue really did suit Iwaizumi, so after finding a tie that matched the blouse they paid and left the shop with three different shirts, a tie and a pair of jeans in their bag.
"We should go eat something", Oikawa suggested. "Makki and Mattsun will come here in ten minutes. We have a little time left."
They found a little café and ordered pieces of cake and coffees. When Iwaizumi was about to sit down, he saw a familiar man a few tables afar of them. Although his hair was cut and clothes were way more fashionable than before, Iwaizumi would spot Thomas from anywhere. Thomas raised is head and his eyes met Iwaizumi's.
"Fuck", Iwaizumi muttered, when the man stood up. "We are leaving." He grabbed Oikawa's wrist and dragged him out of the café.
"What the fuck, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa huffed fretfully. "We didn't even-"
"I know that pretty damn well", Iwaizumi snarled and glazed behind his back. Thomas was following them. "Just don't ask." He couldn't let Oikawa see Thomas. He was sure that they would recognize each other, and that wouldn't be good.
"Hajime! Wait!" Oikawa's legs froze and Iwaizumi knew the game was lost when they heard the voice behind them. At that moment Iwaizumi saw Makki and Mattsun ahead of them, and he quickly patted Oikawa's shoulder.
"Go to them", he whispered. "I'll be right there." He didn't have to repeat himself, and Oikawa sprinted towards his friends, clearly wanting to get as far away from the voice as he could. Thomas ran to Iwaizumi and tried to catch his breath for a moment.
"Finally", he sighed. "I've been searching for you for so long."
"For what?" Iwaizumi snapped and beckoned to Oikawa, who had now reached Makki and Mattsun. "To freak the crap out of him? He remembers your voice, Thomas, even that you didn't talk much."
"Shit", Thomas muttered, scratching his head. "I came to say sorry, but I guess it isn't that easy."
"You are naïve if you thought it would be", Iwaizumi hissed. "He's afraid of almost everything right now because of what you did."
"I did my job and you know that", Thomas defended himself. "I don't mean that I'm innocent. What I mean is that you don't have to fear me anymore, because hurting you isn't my job anymore."
"Quit that bullshit", Iwaizumi growled, voice getting louder. Luckily there weren't that many others in the mall, otherwise he would probably have caused trouble. "Of course you did your job. Of course I don't have to fear you, I've never had. The issue here is that you, Father and Matt ruined Tooru's life. I don't know if he will ever recover, and now you are asking for apology? Yeah right. I know that you aren't an assassin anymore, otherwise you would have died alongside Matt and Father. Still, I can never forgive you. Neither myself. Hurting others is a thing that you can't just let go with an apology", Iwaizumi lowered his voice again. "We have killed people. We can never be forgiven of that. Just deal with it and leave us alone!" He turned around and hurried back to Oikawa, leaving Thomas behind.
"Iwa!" Oikawa gasped. "That… That guy…"
"Yea, it's him", Iwaizumi muttered and turned Oikawa around, facing away from Thomas, who was still standing still. "Don't mind him. Makki, Mattsun, I couldn't have asked for better timing."
"I won't even ask", Matsukawa huffed. "We couldn't calm the captain down no matter what we did. Is that man really one of them?"
"Breathe, Tooru", Iwaizumi murmured, holding trembling Oikawa against his chest. "Yep, he is", he answered to Mattsun. "Not anymore, though. He's basically the same as me." He lowered his voice a bit, talking to Oikawa again. "He's not a threat anymore. We are okay."
"Should we go play volleyball?" Makki suggested carefully. "It always helps."
"That's a good idea. Can you?" Iwaizumi asked Oikawa. The taller brunet nodded slightly.
"Yea, I'm better now", he muttered. "But Iwa-chan?"
"What?"
"My legs are becoming numb again." Iwaizumi sighed and let Oikawa get on his back, and the four left the mall, heading to the beach once again. Oikawa pushed his face against Iwaizumi's neck again, hiding his face from others. In fact, his legs were completely alright. He just couldn't move them, the fear hadn't faded from his mind yet. Every single moment of the incident was now crystal clear in his mind, not fading away no matter how hard he tried to forget. The only thing that kept him from panicking were his friends. Iwaizumi knew that, he felt the tears dropping on his neck. He blamed himself for letting this situation happen. He had told Oikawa that they were safe, that all the torturers were gone, and now one of them showed up from nowhere. Iwaizumi kept talking to Makki and Mattsun like everything was fine, but his mind was going crazy. He was afraid that Oikawa was now a step closer of shattering into little pieces that could never be repaired.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hanamaki was right once again. Playing really calmed Oikawa down, and after two sets they were laughing like nothing had happened. Even when Makki and Mattsun seemed tired, they kept playing because Oikawa wanted 'just one set more'. Iwaizumi could easily relate to the way the two young men felt. Oikawa had taken care of them for their three years of high school. Even when he was annoying, he always thought of his team and made sure no one carried the burden of the losses by themselves – except for himself. He was a true captain, and now he needed someone to take care of him. It was time to pay the depts.
They waved goodbyes to each other, and Iwaizumi mouthed a 'thank you' to them when Oikawa didn't notice. Makki grinned and put his thumbs up, and Mattsun mouthed 'no problem, ace'. Iwaizumi just couldn't express how much he loved these two meme kings.
Oikawa was jumping a little ahead of him, whistling his favorite song quietly. Iwaizumi smiled softly and hurried next to him. He was so glad that Oikawa seemed happy and calm. They walked in silence, the only thing echoing around them being Oikawa's whistling.
"You know, Iwa-chan", the brunet suddenly said. "At moments like these, I feel like I can soon get back on my feet."
"You will, Tooru", Iwaizumi hummed, feeling a warm emotion lighting up in his chest. "I'm glad you feel that way too."
"I may break down every now and then, but I feel like I'm starting to get a control of it. I know that just a little while ago I whined how pathetic I am, but now I feel good. Seeing Thomas was the worst thing I could've thought of, so if I survived that, I guess I'll be fine." He laughed a little nervously. "If you stay with me, I think I can get rid of the panic attacks in due course."
"Of course I stay with you", Iwaizumi snorted. "That goes without saying. I'm proud of you, Tooru. You've come such a long way in just a few days." Oikawa turned around and wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi.
"I love you so much, you know that?" he whispered.
"I know. I love you too", Iwaizumi said softly. "And remember, that even if your legs won't work, you are not alone. I will always be there to catch you."