Without

'Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm'

I sat with Vince, Shane and Steph for a while before I felt I needed to be back in with Shawn.

I didn't like the idea of him being alone when he woke up, even though I still wouldn't know what the hell to say to him.

I'd been sitting with him for nearly an hour and a half before he came back round again. He was much more with it this time, his eyes seemed clearer when he looked at me, but he didn't look at me for long. I'm sure I saw something flash in them, anger, sorrow maybe guilt? I couldn't be sure, but it was something I wasn't use to seeing when I looked into his eyes and it kinda made my heart skip a beat, and not in a good way.

I let him lay there for a long time, just getting used to things, where he was and stuff before I tried talking to him.

"How you feeling?" I asked. Okay, so obviously the answer was 'like crap', but I still had to ask the question.

I didn't get any response though, Shawn just kinda ignored me. I knew he heard cause I could tell from the way he was looking, trying to find something to look at to keep from looking at me. I guess he knows that soon enough the questions that he can't answer will be coming.

"Er, Vince and Shane are here. You wanna talk to either of them?"

"I don't wanna talk to anyone." Shawn's reply, although I was glad he said something, wasn't what I wanted to hear. His voice was quiet and flat, not like the guy I know at all.

"You know Bec's on her way too. You gotta talk to her." I remind him.

He lays there for another long amount of time just staring ahead, before he starts to sit up a little. He rests on his elbows for a minute before sitting fully up. Suddenly he's removing the sheets and making a move for the edge of the bed.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask.

"What's it look like." he answers. It looks a lot like he's about to get the hell out of here, and I don't think it's a very good idea.

"Shawn, you can't leave."

"Why? What are the doctors going to do now? Nothing, I'm fine to go."

He kinda has a point about the fact that there's nothing the doctors can do for him now. Well, at least there's nothing these doctors can do. I'm thinking of an entirely different doctor that Shawn could pay a visit to right now, but I'm not about to tell him that. "Okay, hang on a minute. Let me..." I trailed off. I was going to say 'let me help', but that wouldn't go down well I'm guessing.

"Look, don't go. What am I supposed to say to your wife when she gets here?"

"It's not like I'm fleeing the country, Hunter, I just wanna stay at a hotel."

"Okay, so let me go sort something out and them we can leave."

"We?"

"Yeah, me and you, I'll send everyone else home." Shawn looks doubtful at my proposal. "Look. I'm not leaving you alone, so it's either me and you, or everyone. You choose."

"Fine." Shawn says. I head towards the door to go sort out some arrangements and get a hotel booked but pause at the door, looking back at Shawn. He's still sat where he was on the bed.

"What?" he asks.

"You best come with me."

Shawn smiles at that, but it's not a good sign. His pissed but he's not saying anything. I guess his kinda insulted by me refusing to leave him alone, but shit happens, he'll have to like it or lump it. I wait for him as he gets up off the bed. He's wearing a t-shirt, jeans. There's blood on his shirt. Damn, he looks a state. The bright white of the bandages just makes you notice them ever more. The light blue tee he's wearing has turned a strange purple where the blood has dried. I notice Shawn's shaking slightly. The leather jacket I'm wearing isn't the warmest thing in the world, but it'll do. Taking it off quickly, I offer it to him.

"I don't want your jacket." He says.

"You're shaking, put it on."

"Yeah, it's not 'cause of the..." Shawn's looks at me quickly as he cuts himself off. His blue eyes have the look of a rabbit caught in headlights.

He looks down away from me, and gently takes the jacket, mumbling a very quiet thank you.

It's too big for him and covers his wrists completely. It's not the best fashion statement in the world, but it'll get him out of here. Us, it'll get us out of here.

"C'mon." I say as I turn the handle and step into the corridor. Shawn doesn't follow.

I give him a few seconds, but when he doesn't budge, I re-enter the room. "I thought you wanted to go?"

"I don't wanna see anyone." Shawn says, eyes fixed firmly on the ground in front of him.

"I'll go talk to them. Then we'll leave. No one will see you, okay? I promise you."

Shawn nods a little. I leave the room shutting the door behind me as if that's going to protect him. Too late, the damage's already been done. Sighing, I quickly walk down to the waiting room.

Everyone looks up when I come in. I want to get through this quick.

"Okay, he's awake and he doesn't want to stay here. I'm gonna get a hotel booked up until he's a little more... sorted."

"You think that's a good idea?" Vince asks.

"I don't know what a good idea is in this situation, but I'll play it by ear. I know Shawn doesn't wanna be here and there's no point trying to force him to stay. I won't let him out of my sight."

"What about Rebecca?" Steph asks me.

"I don't know. If someone can get hold of her, tell her what's going on..."

"Go." Vince says suddenly. When I just stand there, he stands up. "Go down and get in a taxi, go to the nearest five star hotel and stay put. I'll sort it out from here."

I nod my head and turn round. I step out the doors, Steph grabs my arm before I get too far. She kisses me on the cheek. "I'll see you soon."

I smile as she returns to the waiting room. And I head off back down the hall, ready to get out of here.