I am again completely overwhelmed with your response. Thank you for all the reviews! Those without an account, I can't thank you personally, but your words rock! Those with an account, your words mean so much! Oh, I forgot, a special thanks to 2NYwLove for helping me keep this out of M territory - thank you for your suggestions/edits. Hey, and if y'all haven't checked out her Burning Bright, what's the hold up? It's the story I keep reading over and over.
Well, we're getting into it… let the ride begin. Hope you enjoy!
"She's not comin. Said she was tired," Kelly reported gloomily to Shay, letting her drive.
"Is she still the same? Not herself?"
"Yeah. I made some crack about babies and she went crazy on my ass," he said remembering their last fight, one in the long line of fights over the past three days, ever since she almost had the life squeezed out of her. He felt like he was being punished for going in, for not staying with her. A part of him felt like he deserved it.
Voight filled in as caretaker, doing his best to calm her down, reassure her that life was goin' on. Kelly'd thought she was fine. She'd said as much.
"Why would you bring up babies, Kel? You know she's in a bad space right now, you know her issues, what the hell?"
"I know. I'm a stupid ass."
"I swear, you'd think your biological clock was tickin'."
"I'm gonna be thirty five this year, Erin too and she won't even say the word baby."
"You knew this going in," reminded Shay. She hated to play devil's advocate, but also knew he needed to hear this. Not everything had a fairy tale ending… no matter how great a dad she knew her best friend would be, babies may not be in the cards.
"She couldn't say marriage six months ago and that changed. Figured this would change too," Kelly admitted. "I ain't talkin' about next month…I'm just sayin' someday."
"What if that day never comes? You okay with that?" Shay needed him to face that possibility whether he wanted to or not. She was playin' the best friend card.
"Of course. I love her no matter what," Kelly answered, looking at his phone again. Nothing. He'd texted an I love you, but nothing. Silent treatment doing its trick. "Wish she'd just call me back." Erin told him flatly she would be working late, do whatever with whomever.
"She's probably knee deep in paperwork. Cheer up. Let's go in and get drunk. I'm buyin." Shay thought that would bring a smile to her guy's face. She scanned Molly's spying Dawson immediately, making her way to the friend she didn't see on a daily basis anymore.
The girls were chatting non-stop about God knows what, the yammering pounding Kelly's head. He moved over to join Casey sitting with Mills at the bar.
"Where's Erin," asked Matt knowing it was the wrong thing to say the minute the words poured out.
"Tired. Stayed home," Kelly spilled, sour look on his face, ordering a beer and a shot. He slammed the glass on the hard wood and attacked his beer almost as quickly.
"Okay, it's gonna be one of those nights," said Casey ordering the same for himself.
They were feeling no pain when Clarke and Cailin arrived arm in arm.
"Hey!" said Kelly way more exuberantly than usual, than ever. He gave Clarke a huge hug, tripping over his friend's feet before he could do the same to the small blonde beside him.
"Oh, hell," mumbled Cally pulling out her phone, sending a quick text to Erin. "I'm going to talk to Shay and Dawson for a second. You got this?" she asked Clarke before joining the girls' table. He nodded, grabbing Kelly's arm preventing his friend from meeting the floor.
"So what's up, Severide?" Jeff asked his friend, pushing him on his stool.
"Nothin.' We're havin' fun? Right?" he answered, nudging Casey roughly. "Ain't a crime," he added, sloppy smile on his face. He raised three fingers to Hermann, Mills had made his escape a few minutes earlier.
Clarke nodded off the shot, taking the beer instead. He spun around and a smiling redhead had appeared out of nowhere. She was standing before Kelly, not sure if she should go in for a small hug or what. She held out her hand as if she were closing a real estate deal.
"Hi, Lieutenant Severide," she said seeing that he didn't even know who she was. "Holly Thelan," she tried wishing she could sink straight into that floor, seal it up and just die in there. Still nothing. Oh God, should I just turn around and…
"Dr. Holly!" Severide called out like he just won $75 at BINGO. "Hey, guys! Guys! This is Dr. Holly! She saved that little girl at the apartment, so be nice, assholes."
Holly laughed a flush coming over her face turning it a bright shade of red. It quickly faded as everyone at 51 came over to welcome their guest, friend of Kelly's, an instant friend of theirs.
"You made it!" Shay said bringing Holly in for a hug. The doctor didn't think she'd been touched as much over the past six months; this was a hugging group for sure.
The alcohol flowed with three doing most of the drinking. Shay didn't think the buttoned up doc would ever unbutton, but she did. Nicely. Literally. Holly threw off her blouse a couple of shots in revealing a lacy tank underneath.
"Is it hot in here? It's hot in here!" she laughed looking from Kelly to Shay. The redhead letting go, letting these people in. The sadness of the past year washed away with every joke, every laugh, every story.
Shay felt the stray touches from Holly on her shoulder or arm increasing as the night turned to morning, but the same could be said of the brushes up against her best friend. Holly Thelan was a hard one to read.
The three were in the throes of hysterical laughter, Severide thinking about standing on the bar, if it weren't looking so high up when Erin walked in to Molly's. Her hair was a tousled mess, no makeup, jeans and sweatshirt thrown on in a rush.
"Shit," said Clarke having moved from the bar to a nearby table hours ago, Cailin at his side. Both waiting this party out, knowing they were playing chauffer service tonight.
"Yeah, no shit, cowboy," agreed Cally getting up to cut off Erin before she reached Kelly, her husband who currently had the hands of two beautiful women all over him.
"I told you we'd take him home, Erin. Why don't you head back, rest…" Cailin began gently, knowing the detective was looking right through her.
"Why don't you back up before this gets ugly," she said shoving past her friend, a response not needed or wanted.
Clarke got up to join his girl but didn't have a clue why. What was he gonna do? Separate Erin and … Kelly? Red? No. Maybe just steer Cailin out of the storm heading straight for an unsuspecting fireman having fun… too much fun.
"Erin!" Kelly slurred out loudly, lopsided grin covering his face. He drunk stumbled forward slightly, Shay and Holly grabbing his arms. "Meet Shay! Ha, ha, you know Shay. I mean meet my new friend Holly." Erin was met with a hot cloud of alcohol coming from her husband's mouth.
"Step off, new friend Holly," Erin snarled with an expression Kelly had never seen, an expression that sobered him up somewhat. All the blow outs, both not wanting to back down…he'd never seen that look. It conjured up some wild animal show with a mama bear going to battle for her cubs.
"Babe, it's not like that," Kelly tried, smile wiped far away now with the briefest recognition of what Erin was thinking.
"I see how it is. I see you're drunk of your ass and I see that you're getting that ass in my car." Erin had a hand on her hip; Kelly not daring to inch one millimeter forward.
He glanced at Shay's serious expression, like a daughter who disappointed dad, and didn't know what to do. Leslie moved her new friend to the Clarke table, the laughter dissipating with the Erin words.
A public reprimand not in any man's comfort zone, especially not one used to calling the shots. But Kelly knew when he was done for. He hung his head and followed his wife out of Molly's looking like he might face plant a couple of times. He kept his balance teetering into Erin's car not bothering to buckle up. Something in his hazy mind noted that she didn't say a word about it, just driving in silence.
Shay woke up to a rattling in her kitchen, head not letting her get up on the first try. She rubbed her eyes vigorously, smoothing her mussed up hair, pulling it into a high half pony tail bun.
"Hi," Holly said brightly, standing in Shay's kitchen, hair in a shiny, tight bun, face shining.
"Oh my God. Please tell me you're not a morning person. Please tell me you're feelin' it too," Shay asked rubbing her red-rimmed eyes again.
"I'm feeling wonderful," Holly said shaking something into a tall glass of red stuff. She smiled broadly. "That was the best night I've had in a year. A year," she added handing Shay the glass, the celery sticking out making it recognizable to the blonde now.
"You are a morning person," Leslie muttered taking a long sip from the extra spicy Bloody Mary. "Mmmm, this is good."
"It'll make you feel better. Promise," Holly vowed, smile still on her face. "I do feel bad for Kelly. Didn't mean to get him in trouble."
Shay studied the redhead's face, looking into those green eyes. "You like that he got in trouble," Leslie mused. A laugh erupting from her… "You are a bad girl, Holly Thelan. You are a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl's body." Shay was really laughing now, a snort making its way out every couple of seconds.
There was a warmth in that bad girl smile. A warmth the blonde decided she could get used to.
"Hey, get up," Erin said roughly, pushing on Kelly's side. She'd shoved him hard three times, eliciting a grunt only. "You are on shift today. I'm leaving in five." She went back to the kitchen finishing up the last drops in the coffee pot, slamming every cabinet she could lay her hands on.
How the hell he could roll over and sleep in the heat of a knock down drag out was beyond her. But that's exactly what he'd done. Now, she knew he'd get up, give her a stinky kiss and act like nothing had happened. She slammed a cabinet so hard she knew they had to hear it next door.
"Jesus, what the hell did that door do to you to make you so mad?" Kelly asked tumbling over to the bone dry coffee pot.
The look Erin shot him slammed his mouth shut, not mentioning the lack of coffee.
He filled a glass of water, drinking it down quickly, wishing he'd brushed his teeth first. He walked slowly to Erin, hesitantly.
"Don't go to work mad, babe. I'm sorry," he began reaching for the beautiful but fuming woman before him.
Erin put up both hands taking a step in Kelly's direction. She pointed a finger in his chest. "You may not realize this, but you're married! You don't let some woman hang all over you anymore! And if that is something you don't want to let go of, then you need to rethink this whole marriage thing." The sound of the door slamming bore straight into Kelly's skull. He flinched with the noise, with the memory of last night, with the anger in his wife's voice, and mostly with the hurt in her eyes.
Kelly ran after her, each step a thunder pounding his brain. "Erin! Hold up. Erin!" He easily reached her as she opened the door to her car.
"I am sorry. I felt sorry for her," Kelly tried to explain searching for the right words, the fuzziness in his mind matched by the cotton in his mouth.
"How sorry? If I hadn't showed up," Erin shook her head, remembering the redhead's hands on Kelly. He had been oblivious. She knew totally and completely oblivious. He was having fun, enjoying himself. How could he not see how wrong it was?
"Got carried away. I'm sorry, Erin. Don't know what else to say." He hung his head. "I love you, only you," he said looking at her, trying to get those words into that thick skull.
"I hope you do. I'm not feeling it right now, Kelly. Not at all." Erin got into her car slamming the door.
Kelly could only watch as she sped off. He felt regret for sure, but with it a little anger of his own thrown in. Getting taken down a few notches in front of his friends, his family, not something he wanted. The guys were not lettin' that one go anytime soon.
But more than the embarrassment, the issue rising up from the ashes was trust. It all came down to trust. What the Erin outrage told him, he didn't like. It said she didn't trust him. Not completely.
The shift was long, everyone avoiding their lieutenant. The years with Severide taught them when he was approachable and when to stay far away. Everyone knew that, even Boden. Everyone except the newest one to float into the empty Dawson position, Sylviie Brett. The cute blonde bounced in with all the wide eyed innocence of a lamb to slaughter.
Shay looked her up and down, skeptical that this newbie was going to be Gabby's "permanent replacement" as Boden put it.
"Leslie Shay," the blonde extended a hand warmly to her new partner. She told herself she would not get attached until this stray was a sure thing.
"Sylvie Brett. I am so honored to be at this house. I've heard so many great things about you," the blonde gushed to her look-alike.
"All lies," snorted Shay. "Let me introduce you to the guys." She made the rounds, her vow of staying detached gone the minute it was whispered in her mind.
She filled her in on the secrets of 51 and the men it held. Brett knew in about three seconds that the way to Mouch was through donuts, Hermann, his kids, Cruz, a little flirting. Casey and Boden harder to crack. They all seemed like a good group.
"I'm not gonna introduce you to squad's lieutenant right now because he had a bad night, don't want you to get off on the wrong foot." Shay said quietly as they passed Kelly's shut office door.
"Get it. There's always one asshole in the group. I knew it was too good to be true, all the guys seem great. But one bad apple," Brett said, a conspiratorial tone in her voice.
"No, no, not at all," Shay tried to explain. "Severide is a good guy too," Leslie continued.
Kelly's door flew open, startling the two women.
"Shay! I'm tryin' to catch a few z's in here! Is it too much to ask you take your girl talk to the common room?" Severide slammed the door without noticing the new paramedic.
"Wow," commented Brett. "Just wow."
"Okay, that was not Kelly. You are blocking that. Zip, erase it from the memory banks," Shay implored.
"Gone. Deleted. I'm all about second chances. We'll try again later," assured Brett knowing there was no way that was leaving her mind any time soon. How would she be able to forget that face, albeit angry face, ever? The rumors, the talk about the handsome squad guy… she'd heard it all but this exceeded any gossip. 51 was going to be a very good place to work she decided, a very, very good place.
"Hey beautiful," Kelly said as he walked in to his place after a long shift made longer with the broken communication with Erin.
She was sitting at the dining room table, paperwork spread all over, categorizing files in pile after pile. Erin didn't bother looking up not believing he was going with the let's pretend nothin' happened move.
He reached around her as she continued flipping through files, hugging her tight, kissing her on the neck. "Can we talk about what a stupid ass I am?" he asked softy in her ear, kissing it as he backed away. The days of not hearing the sound of her voice was an eternity. He couldn't take another minute.
Kelly pulled up a chair, moving it close to Erin. "Will you let me apologize, hear me out?"
That weariness in his face, the look in his eyes. Erin knew he'd paid with a shift from hell. She got up from her chair and went to him, cradling his head in her chest. "No more apologies. Let's go to bed." She pulled him up, taking him into her arms, feeling along the length of them, touching his chest.
"You still love me," Kelly smiled feeling the familiar body check.
"Always. Just don't piss me off again," Erin said discharging the last of her anger. She wasn't going to let him off the hook yet but the two days of going dark were enough.
"Never. I promise," he said needing that bed, needing her body next to his, needing some sleep.
Erin felt the familiar warmth press against her, felt his breath pick up, felt his body heat up. She watched him sleep for minutes admitting her rage was jealousy, plain and simple. She knew he wasn't goin' anywhere.
That face. It was that face that drew looks, stares. She knew. She couldn't resist touching that face, smoothing his hair back, running her finger down his cheek. Kelly made a small sound, opening his eyes … Erin coming into focus.
"Wife," he said smiling. Erin cut off any other words with a deep, long kiss. Kelly felt himself shaking off the fog of his cat nap, the beautiful face before him coming into focus. All parts of him waking up now. His eyes became dangerously bright, staring at her, devouring every curve of her face, every wisp of her hair. Kelly started with just two fingers, softly tucking a loose piece of brown softness behind her ear. The light touch shooting a welcome thrill through Erin's body as if it carried some electrical charge.
Those fingers, she thought, smiling longingly. She watched as Kelly's gaze left her face, skimming down her body. He lay on his side next to her, loving each reaction to his fingertips now running down her face, stopping at her neck.
Erin entrusted her body to her husband who played it to unbelievable heights with each touch. She trembled as his fingers ran lightly down her neck now, trailing along her stomach, landing in the concave of her hip. His hand moved again lower, drawing a soft moan from the detective. She could take no more. She needed him now, pulling on his arm, signaling him to get on top of her petite body.
She lay shuddering on her back suddenly feeling a hot tongue on her neck. A live current pulsated through her body as she held her breath, body tensing with raw desire finally fulfilled. They stayed pressed together giving and getting all that they needed, all they could ever need.
Kelly rolled back over at long last, spent, nothing left. He could feel her warmth, the silkiness of her skin lightly brushing against his arm.
He lolled his head to the side, looking at those dimples, a full on smile spread across her face sprinkled with perspiration.
"I'm outta trouble?" Kelly asked sheepishly.
"Don't press your luck, hero," Erin responded, closing her eyes, smile still imprinted on her gorgeous face.
Hope this one satisfied. Haha! Leave me your thoughts.