Princess Time!
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This part written by Wind-Waker.
"So, let me get this straight," Elsa pointed back and forth between the two red heads on the couch, "Ariel, Hercules is your cousin."
Ariel nodded rapidly, unable to actually reply with words due to being in her human form. Hercules raised a finger, chuckling at his relative's over exuberance.
"Second cousins actually," he lowered his hand, "her Grandfather is my uncle."
"Oh wow," Anna's hands were tied together in a rather impressive knot, her attempt at keeping her self from bouncing up and down at the new arrival just barely working, "This is so cool. It's just like us and Rapunzel, Elsa, oh," she turned her attention back to the demi-gods, "you have met her before right."
"Course I have," Herc chuckled, "Hair got stuck in one of the windows on the third floor, and she kind of needed someone to get he...it's not that interesting in all honesty."
"I'd rather not bring it up for another reason," Tiana, who was witting on a chair on the other side of the room, shuddered, "It took three hours to get her unstuck, and by the end of it, some how a few of Snow's bird decided that Rapunzel's hair would make a nice nest. Can't tell you how many dinners were ruined by those things."
"Honestly," Hercules rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, "that was only the second worst first meeting I had with one of you girls."
"What was worse than that?"
Both Ariel and Herc gave Elsa a thousand yard stare for that, "Ours," Herc responded solemnly while Ariel pointed back and forth between herself and him. Anna, feeling slightly creeped out by them looking at her sister that way, spoke up softly.
"Oh really, what could have possibly been so bad about meeting your cousin for the first time?"
Herc cringed, "Well..."
Long ago...
"So why are we coming to the beach dad?" a much younger and thinner Hercules looked up at his now human sized father, Zeus, "I really have to get back to Phil and start training again."
"Hush now Herc," his father laughed, patting his son on the back far more strongly than he probably should, "Today you begin another step on the your wondrous journey to becoming a man."
Herc didn't quite get the wording of that. All he knew was that early that morning, his father had appeared outside of the house he and Phil had been staying at while Hercules was undergoing his training. He had then said that he was taking Hercules for the day, and urged his son to get himself cleaned up, while he talked with Phil. At first the Satyr had been irate, shouting about scheduling , practice, and the most important word in all of athleticism, hard work.
By the time he had returned from the bath house, Phil was smiling happily and shaking Herc's hand vigorously.
"That's ma boy, that's ma boy," the little man had laughed, before giving him a parting butt smack and shouting, "make your goat proud!" as Herc and his father left the island. It was quite confusing to the young man.
"Ah, we're finally here," Hercules stopped at his father's announcement. What he saw was a small secluded beach with rather large rocks covering both sides of the inlet. The stiff breeze from the sea hit him with a rush of salt and plant life, he he could feel his robe rustle with the each blast of air. The sea itself was a deep sapphire blue, a beautiful color all the way up till it met the pure white of the sand itself. There were no pieces of debris as though some greater being had taken a comb and torn away any imperfections. The only sounds that could even be heard were those of the waves splashing up against the rocks.
It was okay.
"Um dad," Herc coughed, "what exactly are we supposed to be doing here?"
"Patience my boy," Herc could feel his father's hand gripping his shoulder, "We're just a bit early...ah here they are."
At that, the ocean seemed to swell near the front of the beach. From beneath the waves, giant brass horns emerged, two lines adjacent to one another, trumpeting loudly over the water, large sea horses manning them and blowing into the instruments with all of their might. In between the two lines two even larger sea horses rushed forward, and it was only after a few seconds that Herc realized that they were pulling a smaller third object. It was a giant shell carriage, and sitting in the middle of that carriage was a large man, with a fish tail for the lower half of his body.
The man had a long flowing white beard, a golden trident in his hand, and a small smile on his face. Zeus clapped loudly as he saw the man, running onto the beach, and into the water, grabbing the free hand of the man in the shell.
"Triton my friend, good to see you!"
"It is good to see you as well uncle," Triton replied, slowly removing himself from the shell, making sure to keep himself at least half submerged in water, "I don't believe I've seen you, well, since Hephastus's wedding day."
"Ah don't remind me," Zeus grumbled, rubbing his head as though he was dealing with a far too large headache, "Hera hasn't forgiven me for that one."
"Europa?"
"Yes, Europa."
MEANWHILE, ON MOUNT OLYMPUS
"Hermes," Hera, goddess of home, motherhood and growth, lovingly respected in all of the homes of Greece, smiled sweetly at the messenger god, "do you happen to know where my husband is off at?"
"Of course your majesty," the blue skinned god said quickly, seeing something he distinctly did not like in that smile, "He's with your son today. Meeting with Trident."
"Oh good," she seemed to lose whatever edge had been afflicting her, "I was so worried I would have to ask Argos and well, you know what would happen then."
"You'd turn the girl he was sleeping with into some kind of animal and then strike your husband with so many lightning bolts that his beard would stand on end for a millennia?"
"Righto."
BACK ON THE BEACH
"Well, that actually is a problem I wished to address," Triton eyed Herc with something close to a death glare, "If we're going to go through with this, I want to make sure that your son hasn't picked up certain habits from you."
"Actually, he has not," Zeus slowly shook his head, "in fact, quite the opposite. You see, he is still a...still a...you know."
"He's still a..." Triton looked over at Herc, who was eyeing the two older gods wearily, "And he's your son?"
"I know," Zeus waved his arms frantically, "but he has my and Hera's looks, and he's the right age, and he has the strength of a God. So yes he's my son even if he is a...you know."
"The word is virgin," Herc grumbled, "Just because I haven't had sex yet doesn't mean I'm an idiot."
"Well were here to get rid of that great illness that plagues you," Zeus laughed, causing Herc to blush slightly, "You brought her up right."
"Yes of course," Triton smiled turning back to the sea, "she should be coming out any-ah, here she is."
What emerged from the water was one of the most amazing sights Hercules had ever seen. The first part he saw was a wild mane of red hair, slowly swashing to and fro among the salt water, as though it was some kind of alien liquid that existed in ethereal. Beneath it was skin as though made from marble, and bright blue eyes full of excitement and joy in ways that Herc had need seen. Her smile covered almost the entirety of the bottom half of her face, with rose red surrounding pearl white teeth. All of her body below her neck was covered in a dress as blue as the sea itself. And unlike Triton, it was quite clear that she had legs as she walked out of the ocean itself.
"This is Ariel," Triton said softly, "When your father asked me about finding someone for you to begin to experience more...mature activities, I had to search for some one who would be willing to spend a few days on land with you. Luckily, Ariel here has always wanted to try and spend some time on land, and so we arranged for you to spend some time."
"Hi," Herc waved at Ariel, who waved back, all the while looking around her, spending far more energy looking at the rocks and sand than at Herc. Herc leaned in towards Triton, "Is something wrong with her voice?"
"Oh, she can't speak when she has her legs," Ariel nodded at that.
"Isn't that a little wrong," Herc coughed, "I mean, being in a relationship with someone who can't even speak with you. Seems just a bit creepy."
"Look, she can get her voice back once you get done with your fun," Triton laughed. At that, he and Zeus nodded at one another.
"Okay Herc, me and Triton are off to talk business," Herc's father chuckled, "You kids have fun."
Just as he was about to swim off alongside Zeus, Triton turned back, "Make sure to take good care of my daughter!"
"Wait WHAT!?"
Both Zeus and Triton turned back in surprise. Herc looked as though he had just seen a ghost, "your daughter...she's your daughter."
"Yes," Triton nodded slowly.
"And my father is your uncle?"
"Yes." At this point, Ariel's eyes widened, a horror overcoming them quite similar to that in Herc's eyes.
"So she is my cousin."
"Yes," both Zeus and Triton said together.
"You want me to have sex with my cousin!?"
"What's the big deal Herc?" Zeus walked over to his son and placed his hands on the young man's shoulders, "You have a beautiful willing..." Zeus looked over at Ariel, who was now shaking her head at that, "Are you both prudes?"
"Dad, she-is-my-cousin."
"So, your mother's my sister."
"Oh gods!"
"Hey, don't take your parents name in vain boy."
"That's it I'm done."
"Me too," Herc turned back to see Ariel now halfway submerged in the water, a green tail partially visible, "Daddy, I might want to go on land, but...really, my cousin?"
"Sweety, I was just trying to set you up with someone I could trust," Triton sighed, before turning back to Hercules, "though I do suppose there is much to say for him having enough morals not do anything untoward with you."
"Come on Herc," Zeus chased after his son, nearly exiting the water, "It'll be good for you to explore certain aspects of life. And she isn't that bad loo-"
KRACKOOM
And at that moment, a lightning bolt zipped down from the sky and slammed into the king of the Gods, leaving him a burning black mess.
BACK ON OLYMPUS
"I'm so proud of my little boy," Hera smiled as she looked on the beach, "Thinking with the right head. Unlike his father."
"I must say my queen," Athena, staring over a scroll she held in both hands, "Excellent shot."
"Why thank you.
Back in the present, the rest of the Princesses stared at Ariel.
"That is really creepy," Anna added. All of the other nodded in agreement.
Heavily inspired by the Pocket Princesses webcomic by Amy Mebberson, this thread is for any and all Disney Princess related hijinks you might think up. Basic premise? The Princesses are roommates and have access to the entirety of Disney properties and canon to interact with for hilarious adventures.
