I do not own SKET Dance.
Case No. 1: The Missing Key
Chapter 4
It had been an hour since Switch was 'accidentally' turned into a three year old child. It appeared that Himeko had switched some bottles and its contents to be able to use the concoction again after some time (after being totally amazed by the wondrous effects of the chemical). However, for the victim, the moment had been turned into his own favor. Now, as a kid, Switch had been much more sadistic in teasing Bossun and Himeko into submission. After finding some appropriate clothes – a small green t-shirt with a laptop imprint in front, a tiny black short, and a pair of plastic eyeglasses (minus the lens) –, Switch felt more comfortable than ever, and much more ready to lambast his two friends.
"Bossun-nii," Switch typed in his laptop, calling the attention of their leader. "We've got one hour this day to be able to see Blue Happiness Club together with Julia." The speech synthesis software made Switch's voice a little squeaky, but the seriousness remained.
Bossun looked at Switch with a small glimmer of gratitude and, at the same time, a feeling of apprehension. Some thirty minutes ago, while he and Himeko were picking some clothes for Switch, the secretary-turned-kid of SKET dan was making a fuss that he should call Bossun tou-san while Himeko his kaa-san. Bossun was so annoyed that Switch was enjoying the present dilemma (he couldn't even decipher how the hell Switch was able to get under his skin so easily!). He could easily shrug off Switch's concern and teases easily, but Himeko was so caught off under the spell of cuteness. With the right trigger pressed, Switch was able to turn Himeko against Bossun… and that was exactly what Bossun didn't want to happen.
Pleading Switch to stop mocking him (and, subsequently, stopping Himeko from constantly hitting him), Bossun had said in whisper something he would never want for the rest of his life again: he'd do everything Switch wanted for a week, in exchange for not calling them his parents. Even in such a cute and childish face, Switch's naturally blank facial features were apparent. After some five seconds, Switch had typed the words Bossun was waiting for (at the same time, he didn't want to hear) – the otaku agreed.
Although agreeing with the deal, the otaku did not stop his teasing crusade. Dropping the 'tou-san' and the 'kaa-san' endearment, Switch had replaced them with '-nii' and '-nee' subsequently for him and for Himeko.
But it was better than the latter. After all, Switch was indeed the youngest among the three.
"I know," Bossun replied, while crossing his arms in front of his chest. Actually, he was already tired. They'd ran off away from Tsubaki when his brain fired up from instilling the orderly manner of the Student Council, were separated from Switch afterwards, and then fought off with Natsume who acted defensively when confronted about his golden box. And it all happened that afternoon. So, pretty much, Bossun could say that he was tired.
"Hmm…" Himeko hummed from her typical seat, the one just in front of the small table and of Bossun's tatami mat. "I'm not sure, but I think we can let it go for now?" She said.
Switch, who was sitting at the edge of his own table far across, turned his head towards Himeko and stopped swinging his dangling legs. He procured a small device beside his laptop, where he had typed lately, and detached it from its USB connection. He held the device in front of him, attached some strap to its side, and wore it similar to how he did with his laptop. He then started to punch some keys into the device. "What do you mean?" The voice resounded from the device, similar from his computer and laptop.
Bossun perked up when he heard Switch's voice came from another device. "Whoah," he said in awe and looked at the said item. "What is that?"
"It's a tablet PC." Switch answered. "Since my ordinary laptop is too big for me and I don't have any notebook laptop, I'll be using this temporarily." He gazed at Bossun and Himeko, whose eyes were widening in anticipation and excitement. "Lately, I started downloading my preferences from my laptop to the tablet."
"That's our Switch!" Bossun and Himeko both yelled in unison. "I didn't you know you have that one!" Bossun added.
"Actually, I've just been using this to read my scanned manga." Switch replied. "It's much more efficient and space-consuming to read my mangas in the desktop computer." He paused and started to type again. "Returning to my previous question, Himeko-neechan, why do you suggest that we can take our break for now?"
"Well," Himeko unwrapped her Pelocan, "since it's only Julia that is left, I think there'd be no reason to be hasty." She said and popped the lollipop inside her mouth. "Mwe mwould ust twail her, aight?" Her words were almost indiscernable when she spoke without the liberty of removing the candy from her mouth.
"Aa," Bossun seconded her, as he scratched the back of his head. He yawned and stretched his hands up afterwards. "I'm a little bit tired too…" He said to Switch.
"But Bossun-nii... (⌐∩⌐) ᴮᴿᴿ" Switch typed again, and in the tone of the voice, he could have been seen pouting (much to Himeko's delight, while Bossun's eyebrow twitched again in annoyance). "You're not getting the point." That got the other two's attention. "I'm not merely trying to motivate you to finish the request, but––" he stood up on the table and his eyeglasses flashed (considering that it had no lens) "––what are you going to do with me?"
Bossun and Himeko appeared to look like hit by a large boulder. Then…
"AAAHHHHHH! SWITCH!" Both yelled again, now conveying their horror and dismay. "We forgot that you've been turned into a kid!"
"(°∩°) ∙ s ∙ n ∙ i ∙ f ∙ f ∙"
"Seriously!" Bossun said. "We need Chu-san to make that aging potion again!"
"We can still find Chūma-sensei in the Chemistry laboratory." Switch typed. "He'd be leaving after an hour. Coincidentally, the Blue Happiness Club can be found in the same hallway where the lab is." He explained to them.
"So you want to hit two birds in one stone?" Himeko said, looking a little amused with how Switch wanted things to happen.
o o o
"Get away from Julia!" The blue haired woman shouted as she pointed a 10-milimeter diameter hose at the members of SKET dan. She turned the latch near the nozzle of the hose. Hell of water broke loose.
Because Julia's specialized weapon hose was actually designed to explode due to the force of water (volume of water inside hose volume of water ejected in nozzle), the effect was devastating for the user and the target. Because the water hose was not able to contain the moving force, it exploded dramatically. It threw away huge amounts of water, splashing everywhere in the garden just beside the building. The SKET dan trio was thrown helplessly in the shockwave; even the great Himeko was not able to take it.
Recovering from the attack, Switch, being thrown in a thick bush that reduced the force, was able to stand first. "Julia Keyseer, member of Club Fairy Tale, a well-known actress in the school. She is known for her affinity for water and can actually use them in real fight." Switch typed, letting the other members listen to hear information. "Played the role of Katara in one of the plays of Fairy Tale."
"Is that so?" Himeko stood up, wet and sore from the previous attack. She gripped Clyclone tighter and was readying for another attack. "I thought I'll beat ya' up easily."
"Don't think of Julia too lightly." The blue-haired woman answered. "Julia could take Grey-sama and Natsume-kun in a fight and still win."
"Oh yeah?" Himeko sprinted and began her assault. As she swung her weapon against the enemy, Himeko was totally unaware that Julia was still holding at the remnants of the water hose she used lately. Julia immediately pulled its length; the rest of the hose lengthened, creating a tension line that tripped Himeko down towards the ground.
Just as the Great Onihime fell, Julia turned towards her back and threw some waterballs at another target. Bossun, who was readying his slingshot, was almost barely hit by the attack. Thanks to his reflexes (practiced by the countless times of being beaten up by Himeko), Bossun evaded the projectiles.
She whirled again, now facing a standing Himeko. Without any surprise etched on her face, Julia appeared to be prepared against another attack. She held the hose again and pulled it with great force. Himeko, now aware of what the simple hose could do, stood away from the item. Smiling sheepishly, she began to position her Cyclone again. "Too late! I kn––" A jet of water hit her back, sending her sprawling to the grassy ground again.
"Julia pulled the hose out of the faucet." She said. "It's now the water directly from the tap." For the second time, Julia turned back upon feeling that another enemy was targeting her. Choosing a bigger water balloon, Julia threw it against the enemy.
Bossun was now actually in his concentration mode, his eyes directed towards Julia. However, he did not anticipate that the woman would be able to go out from the pinch against Himeko and was totally defenseless against the huge water balloon. It's me first attacking or being hit! He shouted in his mind.
"Bossun!" A childish voice sounded. Even before Bossun could react, his own body was collided by another – Switch's. He was thrown down into ground, effectively throwing him away from his concentration mode and away from the path of the huge water balloon. Just two seconds from being hit, all what struck Bossun were harmless splashes of water. However, the horror that Bossun saw was almost enough to make him quiver in weakness.
Switch's small body received the water balloon and it efficiently battered him. The water balloon was as large as Switch; the otaku was literally covered by the water explosion. The sound of the ripping rubber was like the shrieking sound made when two Styrofoam pieces are rubbed together; it almost hurt Bossun's ears. Landing a few feet from the collision point, Switch almost fell limp – like devoid of consciousness – on the ground. He was totally helpless.
"Switch!" Bossun yelled. He quickly approached the otaku. Putting a hand under his head and hips, Bossun carried Switch and shouted over Himeko. "Retreat, Himeko!"
That happened faster than expected. Their bodies sore and tired, the defeated looks of the SKET dan members were exaggerated beyond normal. Himeko, although weary as well, gritted her teeth in much annoyance, that somehow a black-hue aura was surrounding her already. Unamused, Bossun only observed the woman beside him, wishing that they all go home and rest.
"That was totally unexpected!" Himeko finally yelled out her frustration. "I was defeated by someone! I can't believe this!" She stood up and raised a fist into the air.
"What are you all worked up for?" Bossun asked in a downed voice. "We should just be thankful that we survived that watery onslaught Julia gave us." The SKET dan leader suddenly imagined Julia walking with an umbrella, with her muttering 'drip, drop...'again and again. He shivered at his own thought. Julia, with her own reference to herself in third person, was creepy enough. Shaking off the thoughts from his mind, Bossun proposed another matter. "Why don't we just go home, rest and try again tomorrow?" He smiled to his members.
That was before something toddler-size rushed and tackled him down on his tatami mat.
Bossun was surprised that the otaku-turned kid had yet again used his body as a living sofa of sorts. "Switch!" He almost yelled but it made him winced when he saw the unforgiving eyes of the otaku glaring daggers at him.
[What going home are you saying, Bossun-nii?] Switch typed over his tablet PC.
Bossun tried to sit up straight, but Switch had planted himself and sat on the SKET dan's leader's torso. "Oi, oi, Switch…" He said, trying to placate their suddenly irritated secretary. Is he serious? He asked himself. With that look alone, he really looks like a toddler already! He said in his thoughts, actually bothered if the process of toddlerhood was now affecting the otaku. "What's the matter? Now if you let me sit…"
"No!" Switch replied while making himself appear that he was pushing down weight to Bossun.
"Oh, great…" Bossun felt the need not to engage in a battle against the otaku. He plopped down on his tatami mat, putting his hands under his head and letting the child Switch do whatever he wanted. "Switch's tantrums are more effective in a child form." He sighed. "If you're not going to speak, I will not know what annoyed you suddenly…"
"It's obvious, ya'know," Himeko spoke on the other side of the table. She looked at Switch with great pleasure, since the otaku-turned-kid-who-was-now-having-his-tantrums-looked-very-very-cute thing was now re-affecting her. "If we go home, what's going to 'appen to him?" She said.
Bossun wore a very obvious 'ohh' face upon hearing that. He took a glance at Switch, who was still sulking, and smiled cheekily. "Sorry, Switch." He said. "Totally forgot about that one." He chuckled. "Your current form seems very natural for you." The chuckle continued, which was then followed by the heart-filled laughter from Himeko.
"Yeah, yeah," Himeko seconded. "Totally natural for ya, Switch."
[(,,#ﾟДﾟ) Grr… ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ] Switch typed in comical annoyance. How it sounded was something that could not be explained in the normal mortal plane and it was one skill the SKET dan members had acquired from interacting from Switch.
The small clubroom was drowned with the laughter of Bossun and Himeko. After a while of hilarity, Switch finally gave in and wore a small smile of his own.
The sun had set an hour ago. The night had begun to take over the sky – the moon had taken over as the largest celestial being in the heavens and stars began to dot the horizon. The cold wind of the night breezed inside the clubroom. It was not chilly; instead, it was enough to calm down the tired bodies of the SKET dan members. The breeze was enough to make Bossun close his eyes and feel the steady breathing of Switch, who was still using him as bio-organic(i.e., living) furniture, and his tablet's keyboard sounds, and Himeko's soothing giggle from not afar and the rustling of her clothes whenever she shifted position.
Those simple sounds were enough for Bossun to make him smile truly. Indeed, SKET dan was more than just a club…
A knock on the door triggered Bossun to reopen his eyes and look at the direction of the sound.
"Come in," Bossun said aloud, after realizing that Switch had no intention in living his spot. He glanced at Himeko while he made a pleading look at her. The woman knew what the leader meant, but did not try to help at the very least.
"Our Switch appears to be comfortable in his place," she said. "I'll just get the door." She had a short burst of laughter before she stood and opened the door.
Bossun frowned as Himeko walked away. The SKET dan's leader poked the busy child while saying, "Hey, are you really not going to move?" He asked. Switch had no response and, worst of it, he did not even turn to look at Bossun. Well, Bossun stated in his mind, he's really his tantrums, huh?
"Good evening, SKET dan," Natsume greeted as soon as the door opened.
"Oh, Natsume, good evening too," Bossun greeted back.
"Who's that kid?" Natsume asked as he approached the bench opposite Bossun's tatami-matted spot.
"Oh, this one?" Bossun poked a finger atop the otaku's head. "Switch,"
"Seriously?" Natsume almost yelled. "What magic is this?"
Laughing at Natsume's remark and after seeing Switch's irritated look, Himeko stood before the plopped figure of Bossun. "Switch," she called the otaku, "Natsume's here. Let Bossun sit up." She told him. Switch did not relent at first. "You can still sit on your nii-chan's lap." She said before returning to the bench, sitting beside Natsume.
"Himeko, don't spoil him!" Bossun spoke as soon as he felt that he was free to move. However, as per Himeko's suggestion, Switch remained idle on his lap. The otaku was still giving him some menacing glare, suggesting that he was still annoyed that Bossun forgot his situation. This damn otaku's really trying to make my life more difficult.
"Anyway," Himeko spoke again, "it's not magic. It was just some de-aging formula that Switch drank earlier." She explained. "And that's what happened to him."
"Hmmm…" Natsume hummed while he placed his hand under his chin, as if thinking sagely. "Is that formula made by Chuma-sensei?"
"Yes!" Bossun and Himeko responded at the same time.
"Ah! I remembered something." He stood and went to the door. He opened it ajar and retrieved a carton box and a small jug he seemed to have placed just outside before he entered. "Chuma-sensei saw me and asked if I can give this to you, guys." He told them.
"Wha's this?" Himeko asked.
"It's an aging formula, according to him." Natsume replied. "He muttered something 'seeing someone small' and gave this to me. Said that it's vital."
"Really?" Bossun held the jug and presented it to Switch. "Come on, Switch, drink this now and you'll turn back normal."
The otaku received the item but only placed it beside him.
"You're not yet going to drink it?"
[I'm currently taking my chance to make your life harder. Bear with my weight for now.] Switch typed. Bossun and Himeko had large sweat drops that formed on their faces.
"Anyways, what with the box?" Himeko asked.
"This one?" Natsume said. "Ah, this one is reserved for my little cat."
"A cat?" Himeko raised.
"Yep," Natsume wore a genuine smile. "A cat that is very important to me."
Bossun's eye twitched when he heard that statement.
The next day
[Bossun doko da?] Switch typed, his pair of eyeglasses glistening from the afternoon sunlight that began to invade their clubroom. The otaku had been returned to normal after he had taken the aging potion last night. Switch took the liberty to gaze over the whole clubroom before settling down his sight to Himeko. [Where is he?] He repeated.
"Ah, Switch," she said as she turned her back and looked at the otaku. "Bossun ain't here yet." She responded as she stood up from the bench, moving nearer the small movable tray near the corner. "Like some tea? Am going to prepare some," She said.
"Good afternoon, Switch-san." Aside from Himeko, another person was inside the clubroom at the moment.
[Oh, konnichiwa, Lucia-san,] Switch greeted back. [It seems you have high spirits today. Good for you.] He added.
"Thank you, Switch-san," she replied and graciously accepted the tea that Himeko had just prepared. "I'm just so happy when Himeko-san had informed me that Bossun and you guys have found my missing key." She said before sipping some tea from her cup.
[Yes, we have indeed found your key. But it would be better if Bossun tells you that.] He typed again. [However, as much as I would like to keep you company, I need to find our leader immediately.] The club secretary said.
"Well, try looking for Natsume." Himeko responded. "Bossun said he'd be trying to find Natsume."
Switch turned away from the clubroom's door and stopped abruptly. Since she was seated on Bossun's mat, Lucia saw what Switch did. She looked up to see clearly, which quickly caught Himeko's attention. "What is it, Switch?" Himeko asked.
[Grey-san is here.] Switch typed. [Grey-san, it's wonderful that you could join us for today.] As Switch was speaking through speech synthesis software, Grey was already entering the clubroom with a small smile on his face. Switch suddenly disappeared from the door, leaving without a word.
"Grey!" Lucia greeted happily. "The SKET dan told me that they know where my key is." She smiled cheerfully. "We're just waiting for Natsume now." She added.
"Is that so?" Grey responded. "I think SKET dan really lives on to its expectations."
"Of course–!" Someone yelled from the outside, which made Grey perk up.
"Oya, Bossun!" Himeko stood up from the bench and leaned over the sill, opening the window in the process. As the outside wind invaded the clubroom, the figure of Bossun suddenly appeared and together with him was none than Natsume. "Switch's gone. You can stop from hiding."
"Arigatou, Himeko." Bossun replied. "I'm sorry for hiding you like this, Natsume-san." He mumbled an apology towards the Fairy Tale member. Natsume only gave him curt nod. He took the huge box he was carrying and placed it on the sill, balancing it so that it wouldn't fall.
"Seriously, what's the reason why you're hiding from Switch?" Himeko asked while she looked at Bossun and Natsume enter the clubroom from the window.
"Switch is still annoyed." Bossun sighed. "I seriously don't know what's running inside that otaku's mind now." The leader said before giving each people inside the clubroom a look. "Let's start revealing where that key is."
"Uhh, Bossun-san," Lucia spoke up. "Shouldn't we wait for Switch-san?"
"It's alright," Himeko answered. "Even if he is not here, Switch has the amazing ability to tell us things that help us solve any request."
"That's right," Bossun seconded. "Anyway, let us begin during the day Lucia-san asked to help her find the missing key." Bossun began while crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Lucia-san should have ten keys at her age and she found out that she was missing one."
"She told us that she noticed it three days ago, when she, Natsume-san and the others were choosing the play for their club. During the afternoon when she was to go home, Lucia-san became aware of her situation." Bossun summed it up for them.
"So where is the key anyways?" Natsume asked.
"It's with you, Natsume-san." Bossun answered.
"Nani?" Lucia and Grey yelled at the same time, rushing to Natsume's side and giving him a punch on his head. "So it's you all along!" Lucia yelled. "You fire-brain!" Grey knuckled his friend once more.
"Stop it!" Natsume tried to evade the attacks. "Hey, SKET dan, you once beat me to know where the key is!" He said while wincing in pain as Lucia got a perfect hit on his head again. "I don't have the key! I didn't take it!" He whirled and blocked an attack coming from Grey. "Stop it, you ice-pervert!"
"Everyone, please calm down." Bossun spoke. "Natsume-san is correct; he didn't take it so he certainly does not know that he has the key."
"What are ya talking about, Bossun?" Himeko asked, clearly perplexed.
"Two days ago, after Lucia had made the request, the first person we confronted to find the key was Grey-san." Bossun sent an apologetic look towards Grey, which the latter quickly dismissed. "After knowing that he didn't have the key, Grey gave us the information that the other place that Lucia goes most frequently was 'Happy's Crib', as quoted.
"We had the impression that it was Blue Happiness Club. It also strengthened the assumption that Julia-san was also a suspect because she too was a frequent visitor of the same club, at the theory that the key was taken even before the day Lucia thought it was."
"But––" Grey interjected when Bossun cut him off.
"I know, Grey-san." The SKET dan leader then scratch the back of his head while wearing a goofy expression. "We were mislead."
"What?" Himeko wore a curious and confused expression.
"Lucia," Bossun called her. "It's not a matter of your key being taken. Your key was lost, as you've said, but we quickly – and wrongly assumed – that it was taken." He pointed at the box that Natsume brought. "Natsume-san, please bring me your box and your kitten."
"What? Why?" Natsume asked but Grey hit him in his head, complaining, "Just do what he says, fire-maniac."
"I've asked Switch for more information about you." Bossun continued. "You told us yesterday that you recently had a cat. It was a stray kitten, blue in color and has an oddly huge head for its size, which made it cuter effectively." He smiled as Natsume look bewildered at the information.
"How did you know––"
"Well, that's our Switch." Bossun said while Himeko laughed.
"Since having that cute blue kitten and making it a club pet, you saw that everyone was glad having the kitten around. You decided to take care of him. With the kitten being able to put smiles into the faces of your fellow club members, you decided to name him 'Happy.'
"So when Grey-san said that Lucia was often in Happy's Crib, he was clearly referring literally at the box which served as Happy's home." Bossun explained. "This makes the situation not a matter of the key being taken but being misplaced." He looked at Lucia, Natsume and Grey surround the box, with Grey lifting over Happy in his hands. "Just like what Switch postulated, the key might have been lost even before you noticed it."
After a few seconds, Lucia brought up her hands and shining golden key was in her fingers.
[As expected, the performance of the Fairy Tale Club was outstanding.] Switch typed, ushering the attention of his other two club members. [Because of that, the Student Council held off its plan to decimate the club.]
"Decimate is such a hard word, Switch." Bossun said in a nervous tone.
"Whatdya think?" Himeko began to speak. "It's not just the Fairy Tale Club that is being eyed by the Student Council." She told them.
"Yes," Bossun accented. "Including us."
[I was just thinking.] Switch told them. [The SKET dan actually functions when someone requests help. However, as I theorized before, the stripping of the clubs by the Student Council has motivated the other clubs to outperform their own expectations.]
"Which means…?" Bossun and Himeko groaned.
[The clubs will not request help from us.]
"And…?"
[No request of help means non-functional SKET dan. Therefore, our disbandment is imminent.] Switch concluded.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH~!" Bossun and Himeko yelled.
- End of Chapter