"You're gay?" - she had thrown the loaded question at Emily like a big, red, shiny beach ball, but the girl had refused to catch it, and so it now was bouncing around without anyone wanting to pick it up. "No! No! I just…," Emily had wavered; it hadn't even been real negation. And then, "Sorry", just like she had been sorry outside the boat party; an apology instead of an explanation. Why should I stay? Why tell me that you want to kiss me but then say you're not gay?

Naomi fidgeted in front of the refrigerator, changing her weight from one foot to the other. She snatched the four cans that were sitting in the middle of an otherwise empty shelf and then scooted past the man who was only wearing an apron to grab the bottle of Pinot Grigio from the counter. You're not touching this. It wasn't much, but at least she wouldn't go to the party empty-handed.

You're really going to do this, aren't you?, she asked herself. Pandora was throwing a party and, somehow, Naomi had been invited. Were they a group now, and, if so, was she a part of it? It felt strange; she wasn't used to that kind of thing at all, but it didn't feel so terrible - although she would never admit as much.

It was a beautiful day, very bright, with a clear sky. Naomi walked towards Pandora's house with squinted eyes, thinking about seeing Emily in the sunlight. It would be different from their short and confusing encounter in the dimly-lit tunnels of the underground party. That party had reminded her of the fatal night of the kiss, to the point that she'd only managed to put her mind off it by getting thoroughly pissed and high at Thomas's flat. For a while, she'd convinced herself that everything was fine, but this was daylight, and they were to spend the night under the same roof. Why do I keep doing this to myself? The truth was that she couldn't help it.

She frowned at the three pink balloons tied at the entrance to indicate where the party was taking place - it wasn't a good sign. This sensation was confirmed when she got to the actual front door; inside, several feminine voices were singing "Making brownies, making brownies, in the kitchen, in the kitchen, yummy-yummy".

"Fucking hell," she breathed out, looking around. Someone somewhere must really, really loathe me.

Then, Naomi noticed that she was not alone. There was a middle-aged man in the garden next door, pruning the hedge with some shears - more like pretending he was doing that while spying on her.

"Yes?" she asked him, making a face.

"Nothing," he said, getting self-conscious, "young lady, I have nothing to say to you at all."

"What the fuck is that?" she muttered under her breath, while turning towards the door. Right, you're only gawking like a fucking perv. Everything was just getting better and better…

"Hi!"

"Jesus…" she managed a smile and turned around, recognizing Emily's voice.

The little redhead was walking towards her quite cheerfully -cuteness personified-, and Naomi didn't know what to do with herself. Her instincts had been right about seeing her like this, in the daylight, in the open: different, but still confusing. She pressed her lips together and then glanced down. It was difficult to look at Emily in the eye.

"I've never been to a pajama party before, so I brought vodka… Was that right?"

Naomi shrugged. "Dunno."

"I don't wear pajamas…" Emily said, after a pause, in a confidential tone.

"Right…" Right… Thanks for the info, Em. Are you trying to kill me here?

Her heart was pounding like a maniac drummer inside her chest, and she could only look away and clutch the bottle and the cans tighter against her stomach. She didn't want the redhead to read the hunger in her eyes or interpret her tiny smile as the reflection of several dirty thoughts which had crossed her mind.

She swallowed it all and kept it deep, under many layers. If anything, she was an expert at burying.

"I don't know why she invited me anyway. I hardly know her." Her mind was already trying to run away.

"I asked her to invite you."

What? Naomi blinked twice, while the unexpected development registered.

"I thought we sorted this out." She believed they had, more or less, reached an unspoken agreement somewhere during Thomas's party, that it was possible for them to be in the same room and be civil.

"No, I didn't mean like… Well it doesn't hurt to get to know each other, does it?"

"Emily…" she interrupted the girl, but didn't know what to say after that. She only wanted it to stop, that confusing, nameless thing.

"We're in the same class! We'll be hanging out for the next two years and-"

Suddenly, Naomi understood why the situation was bothering her: the redhead was trying to get close to her, really close, in a friendly way, and she wasn't used to it. It set off her security alarm system. Stop it, she wanted to tell Emily.

But there was something else she could say. "Are you going to tell people you're gay anytime soon?"

"What? I'm not! I'm not gay," the redhead looked confused and slightly offended.

Well you are something, Naomi mused, finding her smile. You can say you want to kiss me but then you get all ruffled up by the gay word. "Telling you, Em, you haven't thought this through, have you?"

"No."

No, okay, question answered. Naomi knew that she wasn't being completely fair to the girl - probably, she wasn't being fair at all. Part of her wanted some answers from the redhead's side, but the other part of her didn't want to hear it, for she wouldn't know what to do with them. Meanwhile, she wasn't giving anything away; she couldn't, without going into panic mode and blasting away at the poor girl.

All she could do was reaffirm her safety. "So can I just say again? Me, not muff muncher. Me, cock cruncher."

Then, she turned away from Emily, who was eyeing her. Please stop, I can't say it clearer than that.

"You getting any… cock?"

The redhead circled her and stood at her left with a smug, little smile in her face. She wouldn't let Naomi get away that easily. Was she trying to get personal again? Then why did it feel harmless?

"I have done," Naomi smiled, recalling the worst and funniest of her limited experience. It was difficult to stay anxious while narrating the story of how this boy had erectile dysfunction and that she was getting tennis elbow from wanking him to no effect. After seventeen tries, she had no patience or interest left.

Emily was giggling adorably, and Naomi realized that she was smiling, really smiling -inside and outside-, for the first time in ages. It was kind of magical, really, how the redhead had effortlessly brought that out from deep inside of her. Her real smile felt strange on her lips, like trying on a pair of old, forgotten shoes, but it was great to let go a little of her perpetual toughness and alertness and just be. It really was.

Still smiling, she diverted her eyes from Emily's overwhelming cuteness and saw that the nosy neighbor was still there, shears in hand, looking a tad confused after their exchange.

"Yes?" she asked him again, this time more emphatically. "Can I help you with something?" You nosy bastard.

The man snapped out of it. "No. This is a quiet cul-de-sac and you are disgraceful young women."

"Yeah? So go fuck yourself. Tosser…"

Just then, the front door swung open. It was a hysterically happy Pandora. The girl's face, however, switched to worry in a second. She snatched the alcohol they had brought out of their hands and tossed it away into the small flower garden to their left.

"Hey! What-? Hey!" Emily protested, but Pandora didn't pay her any mind and was already calling for her mum.

Mrs. Moon appeared at once and commanded her hyper daughter to do what looked like some breathing exercises to calm down. Okay… They followed mother and daughter inside the house, albeit a little reluctantly and then suddenly Pandora shrieked the word "Shoes!" and proceeded to take off Naomi's and toss them inside a wooden box with the sign "Shoes Here Please!" above it. Okay… It was getting weirder by the second, but she felt strangely at ease.

"Are you all… chums?" Pandora's mother was asking.

"Oh yeah! Ems and Naomi are real good friends, you know?"

"How lovely!"

Naomi turned to glance at Emily, who was dropping her shoes in the box.

"Really good," Pandora went on, "and now they like me as well."

So we're really good friends, yeah? She turned towards the redhead again with a playful smile, but Emily didn't return it. The redhead seemed a little doubtful.

"Hang on, aren't you Katie?" Mrs. Moon had finally taken a good look at Emily.

"That's the amazing thing!" Pandora cried. "Katie! They're twins. C'est incroyable, baby!"

Jesus Christ, someone give the girl some downers. Naomi glanced at Katie, who had now entered the living room and was looking at her but not saying anything. Meanwhile, Pandora was digging her own grave by mentioning Thomas, calling him "a blinkin' dream" and how he had taught her French.

"Thomas? Who's Thomas?" asked Mrs. Moon, glancing around.

"Oh, you know…"

"Pandora, I do hope you haven't been defying me on the subject of boys."

But the girl didn't seem to know how to save herself.

"He's my boyfriend, actually," Naomi said, hoping it would fly. "He does, um, excellent French."

The woman believed her, or at least wanted to believe her so badly that she left her daughter alone and proceeded to tell them that there were no boys allowed in the house during the party.

"I'm sure your parents would say the same thing," she said, and then made a face that pleaded for reassurance.

"Yeah… Yeah…" they said in unison. "Boys, eugh, never… Disgusting…"

"There you go!" Pandora cried, "Katie and Emily! Completely identical."

"Are you - are you interested in all the same things?" asked Mrs. Moon.

Naomi glanced to the side, enjoying her own private joke, and the twins shared a look that spoke volumes. She was sure that Katie and Emily were often asked such questions. The twin factor had never affected Naomi, though; even if they were practically identical physically, what they had inside was so different that it transformed everything, even their outside appearance. Naomi had fallen for Emily, and it had only and always been Emily. For her it was plain to see that they were like night and day.

Emily finally answered that she wasn't sure and the topic was dropped. Pandora was freaking out about "Twister" anyway, and Mrs. Moon told them that she had prepared pajamas for all of them. Pink and clean pajamas. The three of them could only exchange looks. Wow. Well, perhaps the mum needed some nice medication also.

Naomi, Emily and Katie were sitting on Pandora's bed and waiting for the nice, clean pajamas. On the floor, there was a white, plastic sheet with red, blue, yellow, and green circles.

"Twister," Naomi said. That was Twister? "Are you shitting me?"

"Don't worry, I spiked the chocolate brownies with MDMA," Katie said, and laughed quietly.

Oh, thank God.

"You what?" Emily asked. She was still acting a bit strangely.

"Yeah. Appreciate it, okay? There's fucking forty quid's worth in there." Katie laughed again, and Naomi joined in.

"You think it's funny?" Emily asked her accusingly, now downright irked.

"It is, kind of." What's going on with you?

"Yeah, enter into the spirit, Ems," Katie retorted.

Regardless of what was going on in Emily's mind, Naomi had to wonder. Was this a truce between Katie and her? She could no longer claim that the meaner redhead had never had an original thought in her entire life because here it was, and it was funny. It was mind-boggling, how comfortable she felt and how she wasn't under the obligation of acting like a sarcastic bitch.

"So, Katie, you're gonna be nice to me now that we're Twister pals?" she asked. "I promise not to grab your minge and everything."

Katie barked out a laugh. "Okay, ha-ha. Hands off the muff and we're sorted."

"Gotcha!" she was laughing as well. "No buffing the beaver."

"No groping the growler."

"Don't tickle on my tinkle!"

"Okay, I won't fluff up your flange."

Surprisingly enough, she was having fun with Katie. Because the "lezzer" part wasn't the issue, she felt free to joke about it and not deny it. She had denied it to Emily though, and the girl didn't seem pleased with their interaction. Could that possibly be one of the reasons for her irritation?

"You done?" she asked her sister.

"Yep," said Katie. "We're double done with the DNA dump."

That was some hilarious shit. Pandora chose that moment to enter the room, while Naomi and Katie were still giggling. She was carrying the most hideous things Naomi had ever seen. And they were supposed to wear them. The girl held up one of the shirts for them to see. The words "SEXY POO" were sewn across its chest.

"Jesus." Naomi couldn't help herself.

The shirt was tossed into her hands, and another was thrown at Emily. Pandora kept the "PANDA POO" one for herself, of course.

"I'm not wearing that," Naomi said. Her feeling of security was weak enough as it was.

"Why not? It's a pajama party!" cried Pandora. She seemed genuinely hurt.

Katie seemed to notice this and took a step forward, earning Pandora's exclamations of delight. All right, what the hell, she thought, and started undressing.

When they had almost finished changing, Effy walked into Pandora's room. "What the fuck?"

Naomi smiled at her with desperation, in an "I didn't want to, but hey" kind of way and told her to put on the pajamas. All of them had to look equally ridiculous.

"Whatever…" said the brunette, and took her shirt off facing the window.

They heard a noise nearby, possibly outside, but Effy said that it was her tummy. "Too much cake."

Mrs. Moon chose that moment to enter the room, kicking the door open, tray in hand. Speaking about cake…

"Hey, Mum, look! We're pretty in pink!"

Yeah, Panda, we're an eighties American teen movie. But on drugs.

They all reached out for the tray to get a piece, but Mrs. Moon had a good head start on them; she had already eaten three and seemed to be getting into the spirit.

The woman suddenly stood still. "Wow. Listen to that. Can you hear music? Oh, yeah!"

Something was clearly happening to her mother and Pandora seemed worried. The poor girl didn't know…

"Eat a cake, Panda," Naomi told her. "It's gonna be a looong night."

Effy and Mrs. Moon where already busy in their enraptured swaying. Naomi swallowed her piece and immediately started chewing on another one. Music… yeah. She was beginning to feel it, the euphoria, the need to move, the music in her head. Another barrier tumbled down and she didn't care. She looked at Emily and the girl was already looking at her, without a trace of her previous irritation.

They could all dance in circles together and it was all right. She could even dance with Katie and there was no weird sensation, no desire to run away, no censuring her own goofiness. Everything felt natural.

Naomi felt sorry for the woman, but she was mostly glad that Mrs. Moon passed out before she managed to take all of her clothes off. Pandora, however, was horrified and ran out of the room, with Effy and Katie following her. So it was up to her and Emily.

"What do we do with her?" Emily asked, gesturing at the body on the floor and trying hard not to giggle.

"Come on, let's put her to bed."

They carried her to her bedroom, Emily grabbing her by the ankles and Naomi from under the arms.

"That was so…" the woman slurred. "So fun."

Poor thing. They tossed her on the bed and she was out instantly, so suddenly that Naomi worried she was dying or something.

"Is she breathing?" Emily asked, similarly worried.

Mrs. Moon answered the question by burping loudly.

"Yep." Emily said.

"Safe."

With that, she gladly followed the little redhead downstairs.

"Glad we didn't kill someone today," Naomi said, and then remembered that the stuff they had brought was probably still outside.

Emily yelled at her from the kitchen. "Where are you going?"

"Wine! I want wine!"

While the redhead raided the kitchen, just in case there was something good to drink, Naomi stumbled out the front door.

"Hurry up with it!" cried Emily. "Get beer, lezzer!"

Naomi bent down and retrieved the bottle of wine and the four cans from the flower garden. The sudden movement made her dizzy. "All right, all right! Keep your vagina on!"

She was enjoying herself so much that for a moment she feared she would float out the front door like a balloon filled with helium. Or a girl filled with MDMA.

Looking for Emily, she peered inside the living room and smiled when she spotted her. The girl was carrying some alcohol of her own and returning Naomi's crazy giggles.

"So… what do you want, Ems? Pinot Grigio, or…?" What the fuck is this? "Cider oblivion?"

Oblivion was good, it was a good thing; something she would like to have sometimes. But now it didn't matter. In a house without rules, wearing clothes that were not even hers, and high on spiked brownies, nothing really mattered. What was so bad about enjoying Emily's company without the haunting complications?

They were standing so close now. Their only physical obstacle was the bottles and cans they were cradling in their arms. With some of her barriers down, Naomi allowed her eyes to do something she seldom did: to gaze at Emily intently, to drown in her lopsided smile, cute nose and deep, brown eyes. She was performing acrobatics without a safety net now, and it felt so fucking dangerous but so fucking easy.

"Anything," Emily was answering her. "Just give me a fucking… Just… Just give me a…"

Naomi realized that time had stopped and they were dancing - not a real, full-blown dance, but they were doing some kind of choreography. The girl would move her head towards her and then move back a little, and then Naomi would be the one to move slightly forwards.

And what Emily was asking for had nothing to do with the load she was carrying between her arms. She knew that, and Emily knew that she knew. Naomi held on to the last remnants of her protective fortress because it was all she had, and became dead serious. Emily was so close that she couldn't help but glance down at her lips. How is this even happening?

Emily moved forwards, boldly crossing the last barrier, and kissed her, gently, not like that other kiss they had shared.

"Oh…" was all she could say to that. What else could she say? That Emily's lips against hers had activated something inside her that laid dormant? A flame?

Desire. It was plain to see; she could feel it running through her body and burning in her eyes, and Emily was looking at her in a way that said: "I know". There was nowhere to hide.

What if she could? What if she actually could let the barriers fall down? Then, she realized that she could. "It's only the drugs, right?"

Emily nodded many times, and Naomi couldn't help but smile. It was a blatant lie, blaming it all on the drugs again, but she needed it, and Emily was granting her that safe space where this and everything could happen.

This time, they both leaned in at the same time and pressed their lips together. Emily tilted her head to the right and licked her lips before diving into the kiss again. Naomi had never experienced such sweetness as that which she had found in Emily's delicate kisses, and it showed, she knew it showed.

Wow. Naomi raised her eyebrows and could only look at Emily with terrified, flickering eyes. She was being eaten alive by desire.

"You liked that," Emily said, simply.

She bit her lower lip, knowing that she couldn't deny it or pretend otherwise. Emily saw her, really saw her, which was the scariest thing in the world. But then, there was something she could always say to recover some of her lost strength.

Naomi took a deep breath, grinned and winked at Emily playfully. "You're gay."

With that, she walked away from the living room, sensing that the redhead would come right after her. She felt coquettish and happy, and had managed to push away the fear.

She went into the kitchen to open the bottle of wine. As expected, the redhead had followed her. "Pinot Grigio it is."

"Okay."

"You're not mad at me anymore?" she asked in a flirty way while rummaging the drawers.

"Mad at you?" the redhead looked confused.

Finally, she found a corkscrew and started winding the thing. "Yeah, you looked irritated before, with me and Katie."

"No, I wasn't… Not with you. Sorry."

There it was again, that token word. "You don't have to apologize all the time, you know. Just… do what you do."

"I wasn't mad," Emily said, and dropped her head. "I just… I wanted to have you for myself. But I don't mean like… like that, you know. Just to get to know you."

The bottle opened with a big "pop" and she handed it to the redhead. Her statement had made Naomi blush. To be someone that Emily wanted for herself, no matter in which way, made her want to go back to age thirteen and write silly poems. Instead, she just nodded.

While Emily took a very long swig, Naomi faced the kitchen window and suddenly spotted the most amazing thing. "Ems, Ems you have to see this."

The redhead skipped to her side and, after a few seconds, saw it. There was a red and yellow bouncy castle in the garden.

"Come on," said Naomi, running to the door.

They stumbled outside, giggling, and took turns drinking from the bottle until it dropped on the grass with a hollow thump. Then, they hopped into the castle, bumping against its walls and each other. It was like trying to walk on jelly. She jumped her way across it and tried to lean on one of the wobbly walls for support. Shrieking, Emily pushed her but ended up being the first to fall, although Naomi went right after. She toppled down, choking on her own laughter, grasping Emily's hands for useless support.

The redhead disentangled their legs and moved on top of her, using her arms as leverage. Naomi felt the weight of Emily's lower body on her hips and realized that she had never been so turned on in all her life. She stopped laughing. Emily's perfect little face was hovering over hers, serious, questioning. Those brown eyes were saying "I'm gonna kiss you right now", but also "Do you want me to?". Something in Naomi's mesmerized face seemed to indicate that her answer was positive, because Emily moved downwards and captured her lips with her own. The pressure on her hips increased delightfully and Naomi moved her hands to Emily's back; it was the first time she was really touching her. There was now nothing between their bodies except their clothes.

Suddenly, there was a racket of cars, car horns and people whooping like animals. Emily raised her head during a second and then went back down, flat on top of her.

"It's people! Like a thousand people!"

"What? They're coming here?" Naomi's world had turned red, for the girl's hair had cascaded over her face.

"Fuck! I think it's Katie's boyfriend and his football friends."

"I have no interest in Katie's boyfriend or his football friends."

"Me neither. I don't want them to see me." Emily said.

"Okay, so, what do we do?" You could always stay just like this, on top of me. "Wanna leave?"

"Yeah… But what about our clothes?"

Naomi giggled and rolled over, throwing Emily off. She really didn't want her clothes, to change back into them and become that Naomi Campbell once again. It would have to be done, eventually, but she didn't want to relinquish her liberty just yet.