"I came to talk to you. I didn't realize that the moment you ditched me and John you'd be doing it with Ben!" He looked disgusted, and I felt ashamed. I hadn't even mourned for 24 hours before moving on.
"Hey, you and Amy were over long before yesterday and you know it!" Ben reached over and pulled me to him. I leaned into his frame, trying to draw support from him. He was right. Ricky and I had both know that we wouldn't last from the start. I think we just had to try.
"Where's John?" I peered around, looking for my son.
"Your dad is watching him, not like you'd care." He spat out. "How could you do this Amy? You couldn't even wait a day?" He was quieter now, his tone sad. I looked down at the floor.
"What I do now is none of your business. There, we've talked. You can go now." I pointed toward the street.
"That's not what I wanted to talk about." He looked at Ben pointedly.
"This concerns Ben too, and I'm not going to make him leave. So either say it now or leave." I felt my anger rising as I continued to speak. Ricky sighed and muttered something under his breath.
"I thought about what you said Amy, about how we both deserve to be madly in love. I thought I had feelings for Clementine, so I went over to her place and we talked. I kissed her. I thought I would feel something with her, but the entire time all I could think of was you. I am madly in love with you Amy and not because of the fact that you're John's mother, but because you are beautiful, and smart, and kind. I love you Amy Juergens." I didn't know what to say, or how to answer that. He kissed Clementine? I looked at his face now, and saw a single tear falling down his cheek. It was unlike Ricky to cry, but lately I'd seen his tears more and more often.
"Ricky, you had your chance. If we hadn't had John you never would have taken a second look at me. Do you know how that feels? Every time you kissed me or looked at me I knew that that wouldn't have happened if not for John." My volume rose with every word I spoke, and I could feel the anger bubbling inside of me. "You're a good father Ricky, but not a good liar. Not anymore anyways."
"Yes, you're right. I was a jerk back then. But after spending so much time with you, living with you, and yes raising John with you I have fallen in love with you. I'm sorry for not feeling it before, but I didn't realize it until now. And all I need to know is if you love me too and if you want to marry me." I won't lie. A part of me wanted to go up to him and kiss him, but I couldn't ignore all the reasons I had left. And I couldn't ignore the feelings I had for the boy next to me.
"Ricky, I do love you. But whether or not you came to this great realization, I am not in love with you. After all of this time I…I don't want to marry you. I don't want to be tied down just out of high school. I want to live here and go to school and not be some housewife. Good bye Ricky!" I slammed the door hard, and turned the lock. I could feel tears running down my cheeks now too, so I clung closer to Ben.
"Are you okay?" Ever so gently he pulled away and turned to look at me.
"I'm fine." I wiped my face on my sleeves. "I'm fine." I reached up and pulled him down to my lips. He responded, but not half as eagerly as before. I led him up the stairs this time, breaking away so I could see where I was going.
"Amy are you sure-" I cut him off.
"If there is one thing I'm sure about it's this." We were running up the stairs now, and when we reached the 2nd floor I didn't even pause to look around. "Come one." I pulled my shirt off, and stepped towards him. I heard him moan as he took in my shirtless form, a deep guttural moan. But I could still feel that his heart wasn't into it. I tried harder, putting more effort into the kiss, leading his hands to my waist. I pulled him back onto the bed, and run my hands through his hair.
"Amy…" He moaned my name in between kisses. I moved my hands from his hair, and started removing his shirt. "Amy, no… No!" He pulled away. "Amy, we can't just jump into sex because of what happened. I care about you, and I don't want to do this just because you're mad at Ricky." He got off of me, and lay next to me. I could hear his fast pulse and his heavy breathing. I bit my lip. He was right. Before Ricky had shown up, I would've slept with Ben without an anterior motive. Now I was mostly doing it to get back at Ricky. I started crying, heavy tears rolling down my face. I expected Ben to say something, anything really, but he was silent. Instead he reached for me and held me in his arms while I cried. I don't know how long he held me. After I finally stopped crying, I just stared at the ceiling for a while, wondering.
"Ben, maybe I should be alone for a while. I need to figure things out and as much as I care about you we can't be together now. I want us to work, but that can't happen unless I do this." I sat up on my elbows and looked at him. I'd never felt this vulnerable as I stared at the boy I loved and asked him to wait for me. "Are you okay with that?" I gulped and took a deep breath. His face gave nothing away, and it made my heart race. My palms were sweaty, and I could feel myself shaking.
"Amy, I've been in love with you since the first day I met you. I waited for you throughout your relationship with Ricky. At least now I know how you feel, so the waiting won't be as painful." He stroked my hair, and trailed his hand down so he was cupping my cheek. "One kiss for the road?" I chuckled and leaned down, savoring my last kiss with Ben for a while. This kiss was different than the others. The others had been loaded with bottled up passion, but this one was different. It was sweeter, softer. We took our time, allowing the kiss to fill our needs without being sloppy or fast. I don't know how long our kiss lasted, but it didn't go farther than a kiss. When it ended, he held me in his arms and we both drifted off into sleep.
This is just what I think/hoped happened after the finale of Secret Life. Leave a comment, review, or dm me if you want to see something happen. I love reading what you guys have to say. I do not own this story and all of the rights blah blah. Enjoy! :)